God this is so much nerd shit I am barfing right now! I need to go chop some wood or something stat. Anyway gorgeous Jamie is always a yes. I don't even care. I will now be watching this damn movie. And that's before we even get to the other two names that just got cast in it -- the queen herself Kate Winslet will apparently be the film's female lead, playing a character named "Marigol" (this site theorizes that she's Smeagol's grandmother), while our beautiful blond boy Leo Woodall will be playing a cohort of Strider's named Halvard. Does this mean this movie will have a lot of Jamie Dornan and Leo Woodall running around together, all bearded and dirty and huddling beside fires for warmth??? Because that's the movie I'm writing in my head, you best damn believe it.
Wednesday, April 15, 2026
All My Pretty Precioussses
God this is so much nerd shit I am barfing right now! I need to go chop some wood or something stat. Anyway gorgeous Jamie is always a yes. I don't even care. I will now be watching this damn movie. And that's before we even get to the other two names that just got cast in it -- the queen herself Kate Winslet will apparently be the film's female lead, playing a character named "Marigol" (this site theorizes that she's Smeagol's grandmother), while our beautiful blond boy Leo Woodall will be playing a cohort of Strider's named Halvard. Does this mean this movie will have a lot of Jamie Dornan and Leo Woodall running around together, all bearded and dirty and huddling beside fires for warmth??? Because that's the movie I'm writing in my head, you best damn believe it.
Monday, March 09, 2026
He's Giving Us Woodall
Tuesday, November 19, 2024
Good Morning, World
Wednesday, January 03, 2024
Pics of the Day
Friday, March 03, 2023
Fresh Shrouds For Cronenberg
"In less than a week, David Cronenberg will be shooting his latest film The Shrouds in Toronto. Diane Kruger will star alongside Vincent Cassel in Cronenberg’s upcoming sci-fi film. We can now also add another stalwart actor to the cast, none other than Viggo Mortensen... Cronenberg has mentioned that Shrouds is part of the aborted Netflix project we had previously reported on. Supposedly, the streaming giant got cold feet after reading the second episode...“It’s the story of a man who loses his wife. It’s about the incapacity to cope with the loss of a loved one,” Cassel told The Guardian. “I never thought he had such confidence in me and I’m really flattered. I told him, ‘David, honestly, I have no idea how I’m going to play this.’ And he said that’s exactly why he chose me.” Cronenberg told IndieWire while at 2022 Cannes that The Shrouds will take place in a world where people can watch their deceased relatives decaying in real-time."
Wednesday, August 03, 2022
Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...
... you can learn from:
Caprice: What was that all about?Saul: Just another epiphany.Art triumphs once again.
Indeed art has triumphed once again as I haven't stopped thinking about David Cronenberg's Crimes of the Future since it came out back in June -- here was my review in case you missed it. Granted what I think about is often that jump scare slash punchline where Kristen Stewart pops out of nowhere all of a sudden like an enthusiastically sexy chihuahua. But that's a hell of thing to be haunted by! This movie is very funny though, and I kid as well -- the movie as a whole really has infected my brain. And while I do prefer Peter Srtickland's Flux Gourmet, its surprise companion piece on the body and art's invasion therein, I have a lot of love for Crimes too. Be gay, do Crimes!
Anyway I'm bringing Crimes up today, seemingly out of nowhere, because the movie is hitting blu-ray in a week! So if you haven't pre-ordered a copy already you can do so here. Admittedly this release feels a little bare-bones -- I could see a beautiful Criterion edition in our future... as long as "our future" isn't the 'future" of Crimes of the Future anyway, because I think blu-rays would be the last thing on our minds in that timeline. Not when we'd be so distracted grafting ears all over our body, and all. I don't know how you prioritize or schedule such things. "Oh sorry I can't make it to that screening -- I'm getting that finger sewn onto my forehead." The future is weird!
Thursday, June 02, 2022
Back to Back, Sacroiliac, Spineless Movement
What you don't necessarily remember, or I never do until I'm sitting down to watch another one of Cronenberg's movies, is the diabolical silence. And the slowness. The purposefully glacial pace. The way it's all slightly affected, stilted, forcing you to lean in and do a lot of work yourself to meet the movie on its bizarre, singular wavelength.
It's been a full eight years since I needed to reacquaint myself with that ever determined tone of Dave's -- cold and hot, goofy and dead serious all at once. A whirlwind of contrasts so bleak and magnificently their own that it is its own state of mind -- he has, after all, become his own descriptor. And since you do get used to his movies with repeat viewings -- their maddening rhythms become familiar, or as familiar as a twitching gay sex bug with Julian Sands face stretched over it can ever become anyway.
And so it's only really when a new one comes along that you're reminded. Oh right. That's what he means. He doesn't not ask a lot of us. His movies are difficult, stubborn, off-putting. Ambitiously alienating. He wants to reach himself into your belly and tug at what unnerves you. To tug and to caress, to be intimate with your under-parts. David Cronenberg wants to make you feel funny in all kinds of funny ways, babe, and bless the heavens and stars for that.
Which is all to say I kind of had no idea what I could write about his latest deliberate anomaly called Crimes of the Future after seeing it the one time a few weeks ago, and I'm clearly still at a loss for particulars six paragraphs in. The film stars our muse Viggo as the performance artist Saul Tenser (yet another perfect Cronenberg movie name) who is able to grow aberrant organs, only to then have then them tattooed and removed by his sexual and artistic life-partner Caprice (Léa Seydoux, fitting into the smirking whisper aesthetic just right). But no, this ability only makes him mildly special -- the world in which these characters live is not our own, but some future weirdness where everybody's half-tumor with legs, so much so that there are governmental agencies entirely devoted to such things.
Enter Kristen Stewart, earning her standard-round-these-parts kudos as Timlin, a buttoned-up agent of one such place -- and if you've ever seen a Cronenberg movie then you can already picture what the offices look like, barren places with old-fashioned filing cabinets and spider-nests in the overhangs. She and her partner Wippet (yes Wippet), played by outstanding Cronenberg regular Don McKellar, sneak around the fringes of Saul's world sniffing at the weirdness, taking little licks before admitting that they're of course way more fucked up and perverted than anybody.
It's all very slow and grotesque and old-school Cronenberg in the best sense, and it will probably, should probably, stop you dead in your tracks. Scratch scars. It will demand effort, and a double to triple dipping, is my point -- I feel as if writing about a David Cronenberg movie with just one watch is for fools. I can't do it. I mean I just did it, but did I? Really? I guess what I mean to say is I don't want to do it. I don't want to write about it yet -- I just want to see and hear and live in the movie again. So y'all go see Crimes of the Future, see it several damn times, and make up your own minds. And I'll be here doing the same.
Friday, May 06, 2022
I've Seen the Future (Trailer), Baby...
Starring David's favorite pervert Viggo Mortensen alongside the ever-game Kristen Stewart and Léa Seydoux and hey-ohhh who's that hot bearded boy that we see for a split second there...
Thursday, May 05, 2022
Poster Crimes
Thursday, April 14, 2022
Say Yes To Crimes
Okay that out of the way -- now let's talk about me. Me! I'm still sick with the lingering effects of COVID (talk about Body Horror) so don't take this post as an indicator that I'm up and blogging again. It's going to be another quiet day here on the site unfortunately. I'm really over it, I am ready to be back out in the world, but I'm just not there yet. I tried to give it a go last night, to do something normal, and it knocked me on my ass. At least one more day of rest it is, I guess. Hope you're all well and more importantly missing me. I'll be back louder and more obnoxious than ever soon enough, no worries.
Thursday, February 10, 2022
Which is Hotter?
Although my bf gave me a seriously hard glare when I said we're doing this I have finally fallen prey to all y'all's ghastly influence and I will be watching the third and fourth Texas Chainsaw movies tonight, neither of which I've seen before. I imagine I will tweet about it! pic.twitter.com/UFNoxLq1Yl
— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) February 9, 2022
Tuesday, October 19, 2021
Good Morning, World
Thursday, September 02, 2021
Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...
... you can learn from:
A Dangerous Method (2011)
Otto Gross: It seems to me the measure of the true perversity of the human race, that one of its very few reliably pleasurable activities should be the subject of so much hysteria and repression.
Going thru old pics; I don't think I ever shared this shot of Michael Fassbender doing the red carpet at NYFF in 2011 pic.twitter.com/YWBrtiUCge
— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) March 9, 2015
Thursday, April 29, 2021
Future Filling Out Fast
Moving along I wondered yesterday if Crimes of the Future (2021) might not be a remake of his 1970 film which has the exact same name, but it sounds like it is not... well save one plot-point from the older film I read about in my research yesterday. Here's what Deadline is saying about the new film:
"This is the first original sci-fi script by Cronenberg since 1999’s eXistenZ. It sounds just as ambitious, taking a deep dive into the not-so-distant future where humankind is learning to adapt to its synthetic surroundings. This evolution moves humans beyond their natural state and into a metamorphosis, altering their biological makeup. While some embrace the limitless potential of trans-humanism, others attempt to police it. Either way, “Accelerated Evolution Syndrome”, is spreading fast. Saul Tenser is a beloved performance artist who has embraced Accelerated Evolution Syndrome, sprouting new and unexpected organs in his body. Along with his partner Caprice, Tenser has turned the removal of these organs into a spectacle for his loyal followers to marvel at in real time theatre. But with both the government and a strange subculture taking note, Tenser is forced to consider what would be his most shocking performance of all."
The whole "organ regrowth" thing is apparently in the 1970 film (which I have yet to watch, even though I own a copy), although there's a whole plot about a plague wiping out all the adult women on Earth and the organ thing being a fetishized replacement for birth, which... well it sure sounds like David Cronenberg. As does this new plot! And "Saul Tenser" is such a Cronenberg character name. Couldn't be more giddy about all of this. Kristen Stewart too! Getcha freak on, KStew!
Wednesday, April 28, 2021
Future Crimes Points Past-ward
"Crimes of the Future details the wanderings of Tripod (Mlodzik), sometime director of a dermatological clinic called the House of Skin, who is searching for his mentor, the mad dermatologist Antoine Rouge. Rouge has disappeared following a catastrophic plague resulting from cosmetic products, which has killed the entire population of sexually mature women. Tripod joins a succession of organisations including Metaphysical Import-Export and the Oceanic Podiatry Group, and meets various individuals and groups of men who are trying to adjust themselves to a defeminized world. One man parodies childbirth by continually growing new organs which are removed from his body. Eventually Tripod comes upon a group of paedophiles which is holding a 5 year-old girl, and they urge him to mate with her. He senses the presence of Antoine Rouge."
Thursday, February 04, 2021
Quote of the Day
“The thing that I’ve never understood about Cronenberg is that he’s had almost a half a century of making movies, and many really good movies. He’s clearly one of the masters, right? Living masters. And yet this is a man who, every time out, struggles for years, usually, to raise minimal financing for his movies. Which are never really expensive. He always comes in on or under budget, on or before time on shoots. He doesn’t waste money. His movies don’t lose money. Sometimes they make some money. He’s incredibly reliable, professionally and creatively. Why should it be so difficult? I don’t understand. Why has David Cronenberg never, ever been nominated by the Academy for writing or directing a movie? I mean, that’s inexplicable to me, but such is life.”
Wednesday, February 03, 2021
Quote of the Day
GQ: Are you two in talks for another collaboration sometime soon?
Viggo: Yes, we do have something in mind. It's something he wrote a long time ago, and he never got it made. Now he's refined it, and he wants to shoot it. Hopefully, it'll be this summer we'll be filming. I would say, without giving the story away, he's going maybe a little bit back to his origins.
GQ: So, body-horror type stuff?
Viggo: Yeah, it's very interesting. It's almost like a strange film noir story. It's disturbing and it's good, I think. But since his origins, he's obviously developed in terms of technique and self-assurance as a director.
This would be Cronenberg's first movie in seven years, since Maps to the Stars in 2014, so we're seriously overdue this. Then you add in the fact that the last movie Cronenberg made that could be described as "Body Horror" (a hot-as-hell horror genre of the moment that he basically invented, as far as I'm concerned) would be eXistenz all the way back in 1999...
Thursday, December 03, 2020
Jason's Ass Makes Promises He Might Keep
Wednesday, September 30, 2020
Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...
... you can learn from:
A History of Violence (2005)
Mick: Yeah. She used to have these crazy goddamndreams where instead of her boyfriend, I was some kindof demented killer. I woke up one night,she stuck a goddamn fork in my shoulder.Tom: You're kidding me.Mick: Nope. I'm spurting blood. She's sittingthere crying, going, 'Baby, I love you, I love you.'Tom: So, what happened? You broke up with her, right?Mick: No, I married her.Mick: Hey, it lasted 6 years. Nobody's perfect, Tom.Tom: I guess not.
Never have I wanted to see a movie more pic.twitter.com/mmdCtR8COZ
— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) August 3, 2020
Thursday, March 05, 2020
Good Morning, World
Dear lord in heaven where has this insane movie been all my life??? GOD BLESS GRACE ZABRISKIE AND KEEP HER SAFE #NowWatching #ThePassionofDarklyNoon @ArrowFilmsVideo pic.twitter.com/01mw9u3U6D— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) March 5, 2020
... so I recommend, if you're curious or if you've been struck by the Darkly Noon bat to the face before, well I recommend you pick up a copy. And maybe then, when it comes out, I'll have gathered my thoughts. For now let's just enjoy the simple pleasures of watching 1995 Brendan Fraser climb naked out of a bed after the jump...






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