Showing posts with label Jacob Elordi. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jacob Elordi. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 23, 2026

I Fought J. Law and J. Law Won


Well if we can't have Yorgos (I just posted about how the Lobster director is on a break right now) at least we can have Ari Aster -- seems like Aster is full steam ahead on his next movie called Scapegoat, which we already knew had Scarlett Johansson attached but today comes word that one Mr. Jude Law will be joining her. Also, and this was news to me -- apparently at some point after ScarJo joined Jacob Elordi joined the cast too. Yes please! As for wtf this movie is about I have to share the blob of gibberish that Deadline dropped regarding rumors as to that, because clearly nobody knows and this amuses me:

"While the plot is being kept under wraps, some have speculated that it’s about a doctor who operates on an internet-famous person. Others say it’s sci-fi romance, and some have said it’s more of a traditional drama for Aster. As of now, there is no consensus on the movie’s details, according to insiders."

"Some have speculated" lol. Thing is I would believe that all of thoise things are probably true, the movie is probably all of those things and a dozen more -- if you've seen Beau is Afraid or Eddington then you know that ol' Ari is a maximalist at heart. Would I be angry if he simplified things a tad a la his two first movies (meaning Hereditary and Midsommar), which remain my favorites of his? I don't care. I loved both Beau and Eddington too and he's also earned the right to do whatever the hell he wants to now as far as I see it. Thankfully actors agree and are signing up like gangbusters to work with him even if his movies don't make so much -- in summation I will share a sexy gif of Jacob Elordi just cuz:


Thursday, August 27, 2026

Oh Lordy


So I suddenly have a brief errand to run this afternoon that's gonna take me offline for a couple of hours -- please allow this recent photo of Jacob Elordi, star of this weekend's new film The Dog Stars, to hold and keep you close until I'm back. Those are long arms -- they've got room for all of us!

ETA well that took far longer than I anticipated, and now I am soaked to the bone by the rain -- so I'm done. Done! Dunzo for the day. Which means dunzo til Monday. (Just two more Summer Fridays left, eek.) Anyway y'all have a good weekend -- go watch a movie and then come back here and tell me about it. 


Monday, August 03, 2026

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

 ... you can learn from:

True History of the Kelly Gang (2019)

Ned Kelly: My wish for you, my dearest child, is that all the coarse words and cruelty I have related in these pages seem queer and foreign to you, like some strange tale from an ancient world. But if they do not, and you, like I, have suffered from injustice at the hand of oppressors, remember that you are a Kelly, and never forget that you were mine and that you were loved. Whatever they write about me, whatever names I am given or whatever falsehoods are attributed to me, know that much is true. So go out into the world and make of it what you wish. Write your own history. For you are my future now.

A very happy birthday to Mr. Essie Davis himself, the great Aussie writer-director Justin Kurzel -- we're huge fans of his movies which have been non-stop dissections of modern masculinity and its various elaborate grotesqueries. I am ashamed to admit that I still haven't watched his Jacob Elordi series The Long Narrow Road to the North -- have any of you? I mean...

... how have I not watched this yet? Between that and Kelly Gang and Fassbender in Macbeth -- our man knows how to make men look gorgeous when he wants to, and disgusting (Snowtown, Nitram... also the Kelly Gang) also when necesarry. That should wor well if his next project ever starts filming -- I told you about Burning Rainbow Farm all the way in January 2025 but it still hasn't filmed; not sure what's up with that. It will tell the true story of a gay couple who boult a stoner utopia in Michigan in the 90s which became embroiled in a war with the government, and it was set to star Sebastian Stan and Leo Woodall. The people demand this movie happen dammit!


Wednesday, July 15, 2026

Dance It's Criterion Day


Tis that semi-annual moment where my birthday and Criterion Announcement Day overlap -- I personally feel as if this means that Criterion should send me copies of every single upcoming release I'm about to tell you about, but sadly the world doesn't work that way. Mean world. Just think -- if it did work that way that'd mean I'd be getting a copy of that complete Stanley Kubrick boxed-set that I told you about last month since that's an October release alongside the rest of these! Holy moly would that rock. That set is obviously the month's show-stopper -- the thing every cineaste will be gifted or gifting themselves for this year's holidays -- but the rest of the October line-up ain't too shabby. For two Guillermo Del Toro's Frankenstein is escaping its Netflix confines and getting a gorgeous 4K set as pictured...

... right there. Love that art! Jacob Elordi's Oscar-nominated performance is definitely the movie's highlight but I'm excited to have the entire gorgeous package off that streamer and in my greedy little hands -- the rich scenery and costumes and gore (and Jacob Elordi's little bandage underpants) is all gonna look so gorg in 4K! And since we're talking about October aka Spooky Season that's not the only horror on board the month -- no less than some lil' masterpiece called The Silence of the Lambs is hitting 4K finally! Perhaps you've heard of it? Also there's Jerzy Skolimowski's 1978 psychological thriller The Shout starring John Hurt, Susannah York, and Alan Bates (mmmm Alan Bates)...

... coming at us, a film I've seen a couple of times and liked not loved. I don't know -- I always expect more from it than it's willing to give me so I always forget what happens in it like a week later. Like reading through the plot now I am like, "Oh yeah that happened," but I find that movie weirdly unmemorable. Perhaps you disagree? Alan Bates is always worth staring at either way.

The title I'm most curious about in the October line-up though is Ngozi Onwurah’s "radically ahead-of-its-time dystopian sci-fi film" Welcome II the Terrordome from 1995 -- I have heard of this movie but very little about it and I have definitely never seen it before. But it sounds and looks really striking! Bless Criterion for rescuing something like this and putting it in front of people, then. Have any of you seen that one before?

Speaking more of movies I haven't seen -- there's Ulli Edel's 1981 drug-addict flick  Christiane F. which... I've admitted this before on here but I really don't like watching addiction movies anymore. They're always so miserable and unplesant and wallow-y, you know? I have had my fill of addiction dramas. No more watching needles go into veins in close-up, no more puke dribbling on chins and people groveling for pennies to get their fix -- I just don't need it anymore! Let the youth learn their lessons; I got it. That said the fact that one David Bowie did this movie's soundtrack is whispering my name all the same... maybe I can just go listen to the soundtrack on Apple Music and be fine that way. We'll see. Anyway the final October release is one of Criterion's always-fantastic Eclipse box-sets -- this one is "The First Films of Samuel Fuller" which includes I Shot Jesse James, The Baron of Arizona, and The Steel Helmet, aka two Westerns and one War movie. And even though, like drug movies I generally can do without Westerns, I've actually seen The Baron of Arizona before! It's because it's a Vincent Price movie though, and I try to see all of those. He's Vinnie fuckin' Price after all!


Wednesday, May 13, 2026

Good Morning, World


I'm back! Did you miss me? I think Jacob Elordi missed me because he spent the entire week sipping his juice (Shelby!) and freeballing it rhythmically in wait. I'm not gonna tell him to stop, though -- are you? Nobody needs you to stop, Jacob. Just keep going, my boy.  Anyway hi! Let's all try to get moving again... 
  

Tuesday, May 05, 2026

I Quit Smoking 18 Years Ago Today


I thought it was funny when the conversation about smoking cigarettes being "cool" again reared its head last week, as I was prepping for this annual post I've been doing for eighteen years now -- if you look it up this conversation pops up about every two years and everyone acts all outraged again. And as I say every year -- smoking is bad for you! I am glad I quit eighteen years ago today! And yet I also think that it's undeniable that it just looks cool -- it's erotic, it's cinematic, it's literally "bad for you" as I just said and I'm of the mind that we'll stop being human beings when we stop romanticizing nihilism. We're always gonna be attracted to the "bad boy" archetype, even when it's Gina Gershon in Bound. (Hell especially when it's Gina Gershon in Bound.) 

Anyway I make some form of that argument every single year so's I can justify this post. Eighteen years of them now! That's wild. And no I don't miss smoking in the slightest, even if I one thousand percent understand the sould-crush that the kids are feeling so they're picking up the cancer-sticks again. I'm not judging anybody -- I get it y'all. The world's on fire -- you might as well lean in and light some drugs up off of it. With that said over the past twelve months I've gathered a ridiculous amount of pictures and gifs for y'all (over 150) so let's get to those. Hit the jump and inhale...

Monday, April 27, 2026

Good Morning, World


Raise your hand if you'd let Jacob Elordi fling you around like he is that weight training device. [The entire world tilts off its axis from everyone raising their hands all at once.] Happy Monday!

Tuesday, March 10, 2026

I Dream of Jacob


I was glancing through Tom and Lorenzo's fashion run-down of Jacob Elordi's styles choices this wards season this afternoon -- which reminded me of that astonishingly beautiful gray coat he wore to the Gothams and I swooned anew -- and suddenly I remembered what I over-shared with y'all the last time I posted about Jacob Elordi and... uhhh... now I am fatally distracted again. Funny how one can have such a vivid memory of a non-occurance -- thank the heavens for dreams, the only thing keeping us going these days. Anyway it also reminded I hadn't posted anything from this recent shoot our Oscar-nominated babygirl graced us with, so enjoy. Have a good night. Try to dream about Jacob. Trust me. It helps.

Thursday, March 05, 2026

Good Morning, World


I know that the ratio of gratuitousness to other content here at MNPP is, you know, lopsided -- there's one insistent commenter here lately who keeps shrieking about pornography, for example. We love them. Anyway to over-share for a moment (god forbid) this "thirst content" doesn't seep into my subconscious too often -- you might think I'm having dirty dreams all night long about all these fellas I'm posting all day long, but you'd be wrong. Wrong enough that I usually mention it when that pattern's disrupted, and here we are. I dreamed the dirtiest dreams about Jacob Elordi all night last night. Filth! It was glorious. Forcing myself to wake up this morning was a painful experience -- I didn't want it to end. Anyway if I'm a bit off today now you know why. Jacob kept me up all night.

Tuesday, March 03, 2026

Today's Fanboy Delusion

 Tody I'd rather be...

... taking it bareback with Jacob Elordi.

No I do not and I will not apologize for that dirty-minded insinuation. I said it and I meant it! Hit the jump for two more pictures of Jacob singeing the very pages of Harper's Bazaar...

Monday, March 02, 2026

Pics of the Day


As I said just two posts down I watched some of the SAG Awards -- or The Actors, whatever, I don't care -- last night but switched over halfway through to watch the finale of my beloved Industry, which turned out to be an excellent decision. I'm on the record that I think Michael B. Jordan is the weak link in Sinners so I don't really understand that win at all, but whatever -- MBJ seems like a great guy and he's a genuine movie star so I get why people would want to reward him for such a big movie. I know the tide's turned on Timmy and it's super cool to hate on him these days but I personally think it's willful blindness to ignore how incredible he is in Marty Supreme. No Marty is not a "likable" character, but the second I start begging to watch likable people in movies is the day you can take me out behind the barn. Anyway the beautiful losers Timmy and Jacob Elordi were all over each other all night so we did win something! These photos. 


Friday, February 13, 2026

Come Undone Indeed


Emerald Fennell's "Wuthering Heights" is now in theaters and if you missed my review earlier this week you can read it right here. I loved it but as with all of Fennell's movies it's looking to be inexplicably divisive -- I've read dozens of think-pieces trying to explain to me why Fennell makes people so crazy at this point and they all seem like nonsense to me. Like here's somebody making extravagent and funny pop-entertainment that's ribbed for our pleasure with gorgeous creatures behaving badly and every single one of them gets met with this wave of hostile humorlessness over and over and over again. No matter how hard people make their case it will never compute for me. Anyway I 100% plan on re-watching Saltburn this Valentine's Weekend because what is Love if not Barry Keoghan's cock flopping in time to "Murder on the Dancefloor"? Oh and here's something else super cool -- I'm actually spending Valentine's Day itself camped out in the movie theaters of MoMA because they're screening two Park Chan-wook masterpieces back to back with Thirst and The Handmaiden. And, truly -- what is Love if it's not two gorgeous lesbians scissoring on a steam-ship after triumphantly murdering all of their enemies? Be gay do crime forever!


Monday, February 09, 2026

The Age of Elordi is Upon Us


If you were around here when Saltburn came out back in 2023 y'all know I loved Saltburn very very very much -- I also really liked Promising Young Woman (Carey Mulligan forever) and so I think it's safe to say that if the inevitable world civil war falls upon us and we're forced to take sides based on whether we like Emerald Fennell or not I will be one hundred thousand percent Team Fennell. I honestly think the people who get all bent out of shape about her are hella silly at this point. People get so angry about her! It's very weird! Anyway my side for the end times isn't switching now that Fennell's "Wuthering Heights" has landed -- I liked it a lot and my review just went up now at Pajiba so you can read all about it yourself. I'm not kidding when I say Jacob Elordi is really fantastic in this. He's really found his footing as an actor. The hunk thing we got previously, but actor-wise I'm fully sold now.  


Tuesday, January 27, 2026

It's Always Sundance Here in My Pants


Well that's that, me and Jacob Elordi and hopping in our pants-free vehicle and making our way on up to the virtual mountains of Sundance for the next week! As mentioned previously I'll be off-blog from tomorrow through next Wednesday watching and watching and watching some more movies on Sundance's virtual platform, with some reviews to come thereafter or abouts. If you're curious you too can watch some movies virtually, check their website for info. I can't really say what's worth watching yet because I've only watched a couple of screeners so far, but keep your eyes on my socials -- especially Letterboxd where I'm keeping an ongoing list of what I'm seeing -- as well as Pajiba where my reviews will mostly be dropping. I will surely eventually disseminate that information across all the usual places. And no, addressing the Elordi-shaped elephant in the room (really more of a giraffe if we're talking zoo animals) -- there is no Jacob Elordi movie showing at Sundance this year -- I just liked that picture up top too much not to post it. Have a good week!

Wednesday, November 26, 2025

Good Morning, Monsters


I'd almost posted these behind-the-scenes photos of Frankenstein star Jacob Elordi with his stunt double (I think his name is Daniel Cudmore) a couple of weeks back, but it didn't feel right to splay the look of the monster all over the place so early -- I don't think the movie had even hit Netlfix when I first saw these. But now it has and I think it'll probably be a popular post-turkey watch this holiday so here, enjoy these too. They're a full meal all on their own! But speaking of the forthcoming holiday feast -- today's our last day on site til Monday, which I assume you'd assumed but one shouldn't make too many asses out of you and me so I figured I'd put it into words to make it crystal. Don't worry -- just slide yourself between these two slices of hearty white bread and make of yourself a sandwich til I'm back. You'll be fine.


Wednesday, November 19, 2025

Today's Fanboy Delusion

Today I'd rather be...

... clapping back at the Frankenstein boys.

Thursday, November 13, 2025

Lick On Heathcliff


The second trailer for Emerald "Saltburn" Fennell's Wuthering Heights movie starring Margot Robbie and Jacob Elordi licking a wall (as seen above) has dropped today -- I shared the first one back in September and said what I needed to say and posted the gifs of shirtlesss Jacob already right there. The brief gist is I am hardcore Team Fennell and I can't wait for her to annoy all of you who aren't. Here's the trailer:


This movie isn't out until February -- do a double-feature with Pillion! -- so I'm surprised we're already getting a full-length trailer now, but I guess it's so they can play it during all the holiday releases. Anyway every use of red in this trailer made me orgasm -- and yes that's a lot of orgasm, and also yes nobody should probably sit next to me when I see finally this. For real though this shot below in particular seriously made me cackle withh glee -- this romance-novel nonsense is amazing. Amazing! I want it! (And I already bought the Charli XCX soundtrack on vinyl, which just went on sale today.)



Monday, November 10, 2025

Good Morning, Monsters


Hello and happy Monday -- your wayward host has indeed returned and he's brought with him several gifs of a butt-naked Oscar Isaac in Guillermo Del Toro's Frankenstein to smooth the process along -- and while we're at it, what is it with Guillermo and hot dudes barely visible junk floating in bathtubs anyway? It's a very specific thing to have pop up in two (live-action) movies in a row, right? (I added the "live-action" because as far as I recall I don't remember Gepetto getting his gray balls out to take a soak in Pinocchio but it's possible I blocked that out.)

Anyway Frankenstein dropped on Netflix over the weekend so I assume most of you have now seen it if you weren't near one of the theaters where it was shwoing, so please -- offer me your opinions! I liked not loved it -- Jacob Elordi is terrific, it looks great, it sounds great, but there was just something missing... some spark of life, if you'll allow me that indulgence. Maybe if Mia Goth had gotten more to do I'd have been bigger on it? Anyway it's not every movie where Oscar Isaacs gets his pubes out (more like "every other" at this point, blessed man) so hit the jump for the steamy collection of gifs I assembled...

Thursday, October 09, 2025

Good Morning, World


I stared at these pictures for awhile before I noticed the bracelet that he's modeling in them -- even in a hliriously bracelet-forward photo like the one above I had to actually see the headline of the article that shared the photos to realize there was a bracelet there. My brain was pretty much stuck in "Durrrrrr Elordi" mode. Anyway he was photographed by Sofia Coppola here, who already proved that she knew how to shoot the heck out of Jacob Elordi in the wonderful and totally underappreciated film Priscilla -- and there are several more photos too! And you can see them now if you hit the jump...

Friday, September 19, 2025

Good Morning, World


Even though I have yet to watch any of Euphoria save half of the first episode -- I knew right off the bat that I wasn't going to get into it -- it doesn't seem right that these gifs of Jacob Elordi aren't here on MNPP in a post-Saltburn, pre-Frankenstein world. I didn't make 'em, I swiped 'em off Tumblr, but I shake hands with each and every one and I say welcome home. Hit the jump for four more...