Thursday's Ways Not To Die

Scanner Cop (1994)

Kind of can't believe it took me until this week to watch one of the Scanner Cop movies, given I'm such a big fan of the original Scanners film (aka anything David Cronenberg ever touched) -- I suppose its status as a property only nominally related  to his classic 1981 film (it's set in the same world but nobody involved with the original had shit to do with this) was enough for me to shrug it off and you know what? I wasn't wrong to -- it's fairly awful. But it does have a few moments so ridiculous in their badness...

LOL I forgot the drug in Scanners is called "Ephemerol" David Cronenberg really is the greatest to ever do it

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— Jason Adams (@jamnpp.bsky.social) September 1, 2026 at 8:42 PM

... that it's not an entirely fetid experience, and the one up top really made me howl. The story is that ordinary people are being brainwashed to kill cops, and in this moment a cop's wife for some reasons is made to envision a gigantic devil cockroach when her husband playfully shows off his badge. I don't know but the devil cockroach got me. Also her chopping of a head of lettuce made me think about the head of lettuce scene in 1988's Slugs and anything that makes me think of Slugs is worthwhile. Viva Slugs! But not so viva Scanner Cop. If any of you have seen any of the other sequels tell me if there's any reason to watch anything else. Otherwise I'm probably bailing while I'm, uhh, behind. Until I get the urge to watch a bad movie again anyway. So... tomorrow? Probably tomorrow. Hit the jump for links to all of the previous Ways Not To Die....

5 Off My Head: The Steak F*cker Supreme

The sparkling vampire with the iconic up-do is celebrating his 40th today! Robert Pattinson aka RPattz is officially the big four-oh, slamming the door not just on twinkdom but twunkdom altogether. Which is fine by me because our man just keeps getting better and finer with age -- I don't care what people are saying about his wonky accent work in The Odyssey or Dune 3 trailers, as I love it when Rob gifts us a wonky accent. Remember his Pepé Le Pew accent work in The King? 

You probably don't remember that, because who remembers The King. But it made that entire movie spring to life, it did, I swear. Anyway I'm going to finally give you my list of five favorite performances now, and lemme tell you -- one of these is a favorite quite possibly entirely due to the accent he adopts for the film. (I won't say which one and it could go for several but I mean one specifically and if you've seen it you probably know what one I'm talking about.) Anyway it took some time (I still haven't seen a single Twilight movie) but I've fully come to love it whenever Rob shows up anywhere -- I do miss...

... the interviews where he'd gleefully spit out nonsense like how he really jerked off on camera because he couldn't fake an oh-face for that Gay Salvador Dali movie he made, but I guess he's 40 now. He has to be semi-respectable. Hehe "semi." Well clearly turning 40 didn't make me grow up! Take note, Rob!

My 5 Favorite Robert Pattinson Performances

Connie, Good Time

"You know what, tonight, as fucked up as it is, I just think... I think something very important is happening and it's deeply connected to my purpose. And I think that you are somehow connected to it as well. I mean, do you feel me at all? Or do I just sound like a total faggot?"

Thomas, The Lighthouse

"Goddamn yer farts! You smell like piss, you smell like jism, like rotten dick, like curdled foreskin, like hot onions fucked a farmyard shit-house. "

Jackson, Die My Love

"Maybe if I spend a little less time with my hands down my pants and a little more time writing, maybe I'd write something, maybe."

Monte, High Life

"The sensation of moving backwards even though we are moving forwards, getting further from what's getting nearer, sometimes I just can't stand it."

Samuel, Damsel

"Regular horses don't have names,
they're just, uh, you know, regular."

-------------------------------

Runners-up: Mickey 17, The Lost City of Z,
Cosmopolis, Maps To the Stars 

 So what are your favorites?

Nightmares & Fire: Criterion's Month of Violence

Every year October always has my favorite releases from the Criterion Collection -- I think it's the meeting of them ramping up for the holidays plus lots of horror because of Halloween? Anyway they've just announced their October 2025 releases and once again -- my god it's the good shit. Kicking it off they've got Ken Russell's hallucinatory 1980 gem Altered States, which is one of my personal faves -- peak William Hurt turning into a neanderthal after dosing himself with too much psychology? What's not to love? It's Russell at his most bonkers... well okay it's hard to quanitfy "most bonkers" when it comes to Russell but this one's up there. Can't wait to take this in in 4K -- it lands on October 21st.

Next up Guillemo Del Toro's tremendous 2021 noir-carny vision Nightmare Alley is finally finally getting a physical media release (it's a Netflix joint so it hasn't before this) -- I know reactions to this were mixed but I loved it, it's one of my favorite of Del Toro's movies, and I am of the mind that Bradley Cooper gives his best performance to date in it. (aAnd given how much I soured on him otherwise over the past couple of years that's saying something.) Then there's the one title this month I'm unfamiliar with -- Mexican director Arturo Ripstein's 1996 melodrama Deep Crimson -- anyone know it?

Then there are the inevitable 4K upgrades of discs they've released before, but man oh man are these a wild duo of masterpieces -- David Lynch's Twin Peaks prequel Fire Walk With Me and  Georges Franju's 1960 horror classic Eyes Without a Face. You can't go wrong with either of those, which besides being perfect are both gorgeous to look at and will no doubt stun in 4K. Oh and then there's a double dose of David Cronenberg joints -- his most recent film The Shrouds (which hasn't gotten nearly enough love if you ask me) and his 2006 neo-noir A History of Violence. The latter has quite the surprising cover -- personally I love it but I feel as if it might be divisive? Thoughts?

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

eXistenZ (1999)

Ted: We're both stumbling around together in this unformed

world, whose rules and objectives are largely unknown,

seemingly indecipherable or even possibly nonexistent,

always on the verge of being killed by
forces that we don't understand.

Allegra: That sounds like my game, all right. 

Ted: That sounds like a game that's
not gonna be easy to market. 

Allegra: But it's a game everybody's already playing.

David Cronenberg's eXistenZ was released 25 years ago today!

If you haven't picked up that 4K yet I recommend doing so.

PS this makes a killer double-feature with Crimes of the Future.

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from

Possessor (2020)

Colin: Just think, one day your wife is cleaning the cat litter and she gets a worm in her, and that worm ends up in her brain. The next thing that happens is she gets an idea in there, too. And it's hard to say whether that idea is really hers or it's just the worm. And it makes her do certain things. Predator things. Eventually, you realize that she isn't the same person anymore. She's not the person that she used to be. It's gotta make you wonder, whether you're really married to her... or married to the worm.

A happy 44th birthday to director Brandon Cronenberg!

Rank his three movies in the comments if you've seen them.

My ranking is present to past - Infinity Pool, this, Antiviral.

Pics of the Day

The first two images from David Cronenberg's next movie The Shrouds have arrived thanks to some rag called  Cahiers du Cinéma (via) -- that's Vincent Cassel on the left of course but apparently that's Diane Kruger on the right? I don't even recognize her. Amazing what some short wavy hair will do. Click here for my previous post on this movie, which is about a man whose wife dies and "the incapacity to cope with the loss of a loved one." Sounds cheery! No word on a definitive release for thi syet but I'm pretty sure I remember hearing it's expected to premiere at Cannes? Cahiers having this first look makes perfect sense then.

Jamesy!!!

Random but worth being random for -- the photographer David Lukacs has a great big pile of photos from the set of Brandon Cronenberg's film Infinity Pool on his website that I have never seen before, including these two notable photos of our boy Alexander Skarsgard. There are many many more -- including some spoilery ones so don't click over if you haven't seen the movie. And if you haven't seen the movie -- what the hell are you waiting for? It's one of the best of the year. Here is my review. Great movie!

This October Criterion is Coming For Your Souls!

Since the 15th fell on the weekend (which we all noticed since it was my birthday and all, wink nudge wink) we're only getting our monthly "Criterion Announcement Day" today, here on the 17th -- but that's cool, given they're announcing their titles for the greatest month of them all, October! And per usual Criterion's line-up is bubbling and brewing over with Horror Titles, hooray! And what better place to start then with some of the scariest movies of all time -- a triple-feature of Tod Browning's films The Unknown (1927) and Freaks (1932) and The Mystic (1925)! I've only ever seen the first two titles there -- and lord knows I have seen Freaks more times than I could count -- but The Mystic (about what else carnies) sounds like a must-watch! And the disc is per usual loaded with special-features -- check em all out and pre-order the disc on their site. (And it's out on October 17th, which will give you plenty of time to frame your entire Halloween party around it.) 

Next up and just as exciting -- they're releasing a brand new 4K restoration of Alejandro Amenábar's 2001 haunted masterpiece The Others starring Nicole Kidman! This remains one of my favorite of all ghost movies, and it's not ruined in the slightest by knowing what "the twist" is going in (not that I will spoil it here if any of you are unaware) -- I've seen it a dozen times and it's just as much spooky fun either way. And this is definitely a Top 5 Kidman performance. Cannot wait to see what this gothic gorgeousness looks like in resplendent 4K!

Next up is Nikyatu Jusu's 2022 horror flick Nanny, which is about a Senegalese immigrant who takes a job caring for the children of rich white people (Michelle Monaghan and Morgan Spector, drool) and things do not go well, no they do not go well at all. I liked this movie but didn't quite love it the way a lot of other critics did, but I think it's very much due for a revisit. And no I am not just saying that so I can stare at Morgan Spector some more, shut up. The final two titles on Criterion's October docket are both 4K upgrades for previously released editions -- David Cronenberg's Videodrome and Nicolas Roeg's Don't Look Now. Both absolute masterpieces! Will I be able to stay strong my self-imposed financial limitation of not buying movies on 4K if I already own them on blu-ray? Stay tuned! I have my doubts!

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

The Brood (1979)

Juliana: Thirty seconds after you're born you have a past and

sixty seconds after that you begin to lie to yourself about it.

The maestro of menace David Cronenberg is turning 80 today!
So tell me in the comments:

HAPPY 80 TO DAVID CRONENBERG!
What are your favorites of his movies? pic.twitter.com/o77BRP3XFZ

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) March 15, 2023

Good Morning, World

Actor Thomas Kretschmann was kind enough today to share this photo of Alexander Skarsgard on the set of Infinity Pool with us via his Insta -- I keep forgetting that Kretschmann is in the movie, which is the nicest thing to say after he's shared this photo with us I admit. There's just so much else going on in that movie (as this photo explicates) that one does find one's self distracted. (Here is my review in case you missed it.) Anyway thanks Thomas! I promise I will remember your presence from now on!

Fresh Shrouds For Cronenberg

I know I saw something within the past few weeks that had Vincent Cassel saying something really shitty about something, but my brain has blocked the entire thing out and I am choosing not to remember it right now so I can not be miserable for the rest of the day. I'm sure one of you will remind me in the comments and I will rightly feel crappy about giving the man a pass for a post, oh well. I have felt crappy for many crappy things and today will not be the last day that happens. Anyway! Vincent Cassel is starring in David Cronenberg's next movie -- that we already knew. But we didn't have more details, and we didn't have the news that broke today (via) that it would also star Vincent's old Cronenberg-Movie-Buddy Viggo Mortensen. No big surprise there -- if David Cronenberg is turning on a movie camera Viggo is not far off. Here are those fresh details though:

"In less than a week, David Cronenberg will be shooting his latest film The Shrouds in Toronto. Diane Kruger will star alongside Vincent Cassel in Cronenberg’s upcoming sci-fi film. We can now also add another stalwart actor to the cast, none other than Viggo Mortensen... Cronenberg has mentioned that Shrouds is part of the aborted Netflix project we had previously reported on. Supposedly, the streaming giant got cold feet after reading the second episode...

“It’s the story of a man who loses his wife. It’s about the incapacity to cope with the loss of a loved one,” Cassel told The Guardian. “I never thought he had such confidence in me and I’m really flattered. I told him, ‘David, honestly, I have no idea how I’m going to play this.’ And he said that’s exactly why he chose me.” Cronenberg told IndieWire while at 2022 Cannes that The Shrouds will take place in a world where people can watch their deceased relatives decaying in real-time."

That bit about Netflix freaking out about the second episode and backing out is so annoying -- come on, Netflix! You signed up for a David Cronenberg project! WTF did you think you'd get, tea parties and scones? More like tea-bagging and scabs, baby! And we wouldn't have it any other way.

Twice the Weisz, Twice as Nice

When I posted in August 2020 that Rachel Weisz was going to star in a series adaptation remake of David Cronenberg's twin gynecologist masterpiece Dead Ringers I didn't yet have any information on who was making the darn thing, and so I expressed some antipathy. As one should! Not because of Weisz -- we think she's killer! -- but because remaking David Cronenberg seems a fool's errand, as his movies are so very Him that Him has become an adjective. But today we have an image via IndieWire along with the news that the series is coming from some notable names, ones which make my apprehension a little (a little, mind you) lessened. Alice Birch, the woman behind the Paul Mescal introductory series Normal People and the Florence Pugh introductory movie Lady Macbeth wrote the scripts for the show, while Martha Marcy May Marlene director Sean Durkin and The Invitation director Karyn Kusama will be directing some of the episodes. Oh and the ace Jennifer Ehle is also in the cast. I like all of these people very much, but even more than that I respect their intelligence. And as I said in my 2020 post, telling the story about mutated female anatomy with a female lead(s) this time is probably a change we should welcome? We'lls ee -- the series is set to bow in April on Amazon Prime.