Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

The Wind Rises (2013)

Jirô: Who has seen the wind?

Neither I nor you.

But when the leaves hang trembling,

The wind is passing through.

A very happy 82nd birthday to Hayao Miyazaki!

5 Off My Head: Siri Says 2002

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You know how I tell you that it's gotten rough when I ask Siri to give me a number between 1 and 100 for this series? How I've done so many at this point that it takes me a dozen or so tries to get her to cough up a number I haven't already done? Well she apparently really wanted to talk about The Movies of 2002 today because "2" was the very first number she gave me. 

So 2002 we go. At first glance the year seemed fine but the deeper I dug into the list the bigger the list grew - turns out this was a hell of a year for the movies. But I decided to clamp down on myself - no top tens today. I twisted myself into knots and kept us at just five like we're supposed to do. Of course when you get down to all the runners-up you'll see - brutal. Absolutely brutal. 

My 5 Favorite Films of 2002

Far From Heaven

(dir. Todd Haynes)

-- released on November 5th 2002 --
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Sympathy for Mr Vengeance

(dir. Park Chan-wook)

-- released on March 29th 2002 --

Punch-drunk Love

(dir. Paul Thomas Anderson)

-- released on November 1st 2002 --

Spirited Away

(dir. Hayao Miyazaki)

-- released on September 20th 2002 --

Adaptation.

(dir. Spike Jonze)

-- released on December 6th 2002 --

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Runners-up: Minority Report (dir. Spielberg), Spider-man (dir. Raimi), Catch Me if You Can (dir. Spielberg), The Hours (dir. Daldry), Signs (dir. Shyamalan), About a Boy (dir. Chris Weitz), Panic Room (dir. Fincher), 28 Days Later (dir. Boyle), One Hour Photo (dir. Mark Romanek), Femme Fatale (dir. Brian De Palma), Dirty Pretty Things (dir. Stephen Frears)...

... The Good Girl (dir. Miguel Arteta), Hero (dir. Zhang Yimou), Laurel Canyon (dir. Cholodenko), Talk To Her (dir. Pedro Almodovar), Ten (dir. Kiarostami), Movern Callar (dir. Lynne Ramsey), Bubba Ho-tep (dir. Don Coscarelli), 8 Women (dir. Ozon)

Never seen: Irreversible (dir. Gaspar Noe), Frida (dir. Julie Taymor), Death To Smoochy (dir. Danny DeVito), Solaris (dir. Soderbergh), Equilibrium (dir. Kurt Wimmer), Bend it Like Beckham (dir. Gurinda Chadha), Full Frontal (dir. Soderbergh), Moonlight Mile (dir. Brad Silberling), Russian Ark (dir. Alexander Sokurov)

What are your favorite movies of 2002?

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I Am Link

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--- Days In Store - Some details on Bryan Singer's star-stuffed X-Men Days of Future Fourgy have leaked - I don't think they're actually all that spoilery although your mileage may vary, so be prepped for that going in. It's not like they tell us if Halle Berry can act this time or not.

--- Girl Story -  Prisoners director and professional Gyllenhaalic Denis Villeneuve is looking to make a sci-fi flick next - an adaptation of the short story "The Story of Your Life" by Ted Chiang. The article at The Playlist I linked to is criminally dismissive of the screenwriter attached to the project just because he wrote a Final Destination movie (the fifth one), while you ought to be aware that that's the biggest draw for me. Anyway the story's about a female linguist trying to communicate with and discover why aliens have arrived - I guess since it's a female-led film it won't star Jake then.

--- Speaking of female leads, Darren Aronofsky is not making the lady espionage thriller Red Sparrow next after all. He hasn't got anything lined up to make next; I feel like he should get to working on something before Noah comes out and, uh, disappoints. (I really have a bad feeling about Noah, you guys.)

--- Golden Dames - Our pal Nathaniel took his Oscar numbers crunching game to Vanity Fair for this piece on the Best Actress line-up this year being the oldest one, median-wise, in the history of the Academy Awards. If Emma Thompson had gotten in in place of Amy Adams it would've been even more noticeable, but Amy's no spring chicken at 39. The thing that surprised me - I'm the same age as Anne Bancroft when she played Mrs. Robinson! I guess I've got to go sleep with a college boy then. The sacrifices we make.

--- Fire Breathing, Draggin' - Michael's pretty right on with his complaints about the second Hobbit movie over at The Film Experience but I'm glad he chose to focus in on the good stuff, because the good stuff in my mind outweighs the bad stuff. Yes it's super bloated but I had a lot of fun anyway. Smaug really is super duper spectacular on a big screen.

--- The King of Thong - Joe Manganiello has apparently directed a documentary about male strippers. I mean, what do I say to that? I don't even know what to say about that. It's called La Bare (of course it is) and it'll be playing Slamdance and he talks about why he made it over at The Playlist. Good grief.

--- Top O' The Toons - Also over at The Film Experience Tim looks at our brand new Best Animated Film nominees - I didn't really like Monsters University very much but it is worlds upon worlds, universes upon universes, less offensive than Despicable Me 2, which was garrrrrrrrrrrrrbage. I'm fine with Frozen or The Wind Rises winning, and they seem to be the front-runners. (TWR would have more of a chance if anybody really believed Miyazaki when he says he's retiring.)

--- Meat Mania - Antonia Bird's 1999 cannibal masterpiece Ravenous, one of my favorite movies ever, is finally getting put out onto Blu-ray! Celebrate by biting a chunk out of the shoulder of the person closest to you! The disc comes out sometime in June. It's such a gorgeously shot movie, I cannot wait to project it's beauty on my wall.

--- We Made It - There's a very funny piece over at The Wire wherein the movie folks there (including our pal Joe Reid) talk about the movies they have seen being filmed in real life. The Liam Neeson movie that Joe watched being filmed right outside his own apartment on the other side of the city from me also filmed right outside of my own apartment. I think we're going to sit down to watch that movie and discover it is an undercover documentary about us.

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Which Is Hotter?

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Yubaba or Violet Weston?

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poll by twiigs.com

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Three Outta New York

Doing a wee bit of catch-up here with my New York Film Festival screenings - I've got a lengthy review of 12 Years a Slave popping up at The Film Experience at some point in the nearish future, I'll let you know when that's live, but until then since there's no way I'm going to come up with much substantial to say on these couple of flicks so I'll just pop out a few thoughts them here. Oh and I'll probably do another one of these soon, since I am so behind.

The Immigrant - I will watch Marion Cotillard do anything, and making babushka suffering sexy is certainly no exception. I just wish the movie were the full-tilt melodrama it needs to be - it strains towards Sirk here and there (everything with Dagmara Dominczyk is golden) but nowhere near enough. Instead it's all very timid and brown. And I have no idea what wavelength Joaquin Phoenix and Jeremy Renner are vibing on but it is not the one the movie needs at all. There's just a limp incoherence to the whole thing tonally, and it ends up being woefully unmoving.

The Wind Rises - Small and lovely and heartfelt, with the usual dose of astonishingly rich images off the tip of Miyazaki's paintbrush - here it's all more grounded than we've come to expect, save a couple of tips of the hat towards the fantastical, but he still manages to tell a realistic story in a way only animation could render so magical in its execution. You'll be utterly hypnotized by talk of rivets! (You might even say you'll be RIVETED.) (Groan.)

All Is Lost - When you sit back and realize that hey, this movie is nothing but an hour and a half of Robert Redford all by himself and saying pretty much nothing, it feels impressive, especially since you don't really think about it while you're watching it. The film's so focused in laser-like on the practical matters at hand, just as his character is, that we're totally right there with him. It reminded me of one of my screenwriting classes in college where the professor talked about how detailing physical labor in its minutiae is an excellent way to suck the audience in. I always think of it in reference to the scene where Norman Bates is cleaning the shower after he's murdered Marion (spoiler!) - Hitchcock pretty much effortlessly converts us to Norman's point of view by stimulating our sense of A Job To Be Done; as we watch the blood get swabbed up we can't help but think hey, don't miss that spot! Anyway All Is Lost is kind of masterful in that sense - we're right there on the boat with him, trying to survive. As for Redford I'm never going to be convinced that he's much of an actor (I know, I know, I await your hate mail) but he mostly gets out of the way here, which is something very hard to do, it's true, and allows us to project ourselves in there onto him. That said, without spoiling it, the last minute or so really got on my nerves.
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What's A Weekend?

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I'm off to Brooklyn in a few to see Atoms For Peace, aka Thom Yorke's other band. Tomorrow I have a pair of movies at the New York Film Festival to attend (think Miyazaki and the Coen Brothers). And then on Sunday I am going to collapse into a heap of dust (until the Breaking Bad finale comes on, of course). I have tons and tons of reviews to catch up on, I know - with this cold I've had killing me this week the medicine's turned my brain to mush, and words have felt few far between. Let's see how next week rolls, eh? Til then, my friends...

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Mo Franco, Mo Problems

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It's here! At least in New York, and I think Los Angeles, that is. If it wasn't obvious from that mess of a picture above I speak of Harmony Korine's Spring Breakers, which is out today in limited release. I'm hoping to see it at some point but with Pam Grier every day and then Xavier Dolan's Laurence Anyways on Sunday I might not have time until next week. What are you guys gonna see? I wrote up all of the movies out today over at Celebrity Beehive, go read that, and then come tell me what you are seeing. Because I said so.

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Which Is Hotter?

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The tree antlered forest spirits of Snow White

and The Huntsman or Miyazaki's Princess Mononoke?

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poll by twiigs.com

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This Little Piggy Went To... Murder!!!

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Happy 40th annual National Pig Day everybody! On this day back in the year 1972 two sisters started up the tradition to honor these the smartest and sweetest meated of quadrupeds, and here we are forty years later apparently still doing that. And now I want some bacon. So in honor of this most mouth-watering of holidays, I give you five of my favorite horror movie pig appearances.

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The ones that eat Gary Oldman in Hannibal

Farmer Vincent in Motel Hell

Leatherface's piggy sounds

Annie Wilkes' pet sow Misery

Prom night pig's blood!

And even though it's not technically a horror movie, the scene in Spirited Away where Sen's parents get turned into pigs is some freaky ass shit.

Or that scene in The Wizard of Oz where Dorothy falls into the pen!

So scary! Ahh! Pigs are so horrible.
Yet also so delicious. What a conundrum.

As I thought about this list I had a horrible realization - I've never seen any of the actual full-fledged Killer Pig movies out there. Which... what? How is that possible? Shame on me. I've never seen the 2009 Korean movie Chaw or the 2010 French movie Prey; I've never seen the 1972 rape revenge thriller Daddy's Deadly Darling aka Pigs where the leading lady feeds men who remind her of her abusive father to some especially man-flesh desirous swine; I've never seen Razorback which oh my god I watched a couple of clips from Razorback just now on YouTube and I have got to see Razorback immediately.

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I should have a pig-a-thon. And eat bacon the whole time. And then I would probably die, from bacon. And fear! I want that on my tombstone. "He died as he lived, from bacon and fear."

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I Am Link

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--- Ron For Rampage - While talking about his upcoming monster movie Pacific Rim, director Guillermo Del Toro finally confirmed that his Hellboy star Ron Perlman will be in the movie. Everybody assumed he would since he's always in Guillermo's movies, but he hadn't been confirmed yet. Did I put two and two together before that Perlman must be the link between Guillermo and Perlman's Sons of Anarchy co-star Charlie Hunnam, who is the lead in Pacific Rim? I don't know if I did (and I'm way too lazy to look it up right now). But I hope you don't mind I used a picture of Charlie to illustrate this information instead of Ron. I have my needs, and one of them is a daily dose of shirtless Hunnam. Without it I will die! Anyway here's Del Toro talking about Rim:

"[It's a] very, very beautiful poem to giant monsters. Giant monsters versus giant robots. Twenty-five-story-high robots beating the crap out of 25-story-high monsters."

--- Fire Dog - Slumdog Millionaire writer Simon Beaufoy is being sought to write to script for the second Hunger Games movie, Catching Fire, alongside Suzanne Collins, who wrote the books. Collins and director Gary Ross were responsible for the script for the first film and were going to do all of them but apparently, what with the turn-around or lack thereof that the studio's enforcing on them they're needing to go to an outside source for help. I really really did not like Slumdog Millionaire, but I'll attempt to have an open mind on this one. Beaufoy also wrote 127 Hours, which I liked much more.

--- Fresh Despair - Rainer Werner Fassbinder's 1978 film Despair is one of the ones that I haven't seen yet - the number is dwindling - so when I just saw a review at Twitch of a newly restored BluRay of the film that's just been released I grew very very very excited. I am very very very excited! This movie's got quite the pedigree (as if Fassbinder himself isn't enough; he totally is), it's based off a Vladomir Nabokov book and was adapted by Tom Stoppard, but does any of that even matter when you see an image from it like that one there of my beloved Margit Carstensen, a gun, and Günther Kaufmann in blackface? Get me this movie now!

--- Here's To Your Fuck - Speaking of movies new on BluRay, Billy Loves Stu took a look at David Lynch's Blue Velvet which just came out on the format and I can only imagine how amazing it looks. And by amazing I mean terrifying - the thought of some of Lynch's images being that clear almost seems like too much, like I don't want Frank Booth to reach out of the screen at me!

--- Mommy Fearest - While I'm still embargoed from talking about We Need To Talk About Kevin, others are not - read what Glenn says about the movie over at Stale Popcorn. That's Kevin himself, at least the oldest version, the striking actor Ezra Miller there to the right, by the way.

--- Getcha Ghibli On - The IFC Center here in New York is having a retrospective of Studio Ghibli films from mid-December to mid-January, including all the Miyazaki classics. I know what I'll be doing on my holiday vacation.

--- Who's The Fairest - I still haven't had a chance to properly watch the trailer for Tarsem's Mirror Mirror, which we isolated the Armie-centric frames from yesterday, but I did get an inkling of the collective shiver of disgust that roiled across the internet so I take it it's not good then. Nat's dissection of the trailer over at The Film Experience already has answered that.

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Ponyo Loves Ham!

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And MNPP loves Hayao Miyazaki. Happy 70th, sir!

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poll by twiigs.com

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I Am Link

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--- Sergeant Kermie - Ever wondered what it'd look like if The Muppets reenacted The Wicker Man? Yeah, me neither. But thankfully somebody did and gave us this stupendous wonder. My goodness, that is something incredible to behold, it is. (via Sean)

--- Golden Monsters - BD is floating the rumor that the Oscars are producing a tribute to horror movies for this year's ceremony. I suppose it's one way (the only way) the genre will ever get on the stage. It's been a long time since Silence of the Lambs and Kathy Bates in Misery, yo!

--- A Most Excellent Trade - I'd say that switching out James McAvoy for Joseph Gordon-Levitt is about as even a switch-out as could possibly be expected, ever, in history, ever. Although why switch when you could have them both, I say. (On top of you.)

--- Ham Spam - Rich at FourFour made a truly astonishing collection of gifs from Miyazaki's Ponyo for us all to enjoy. Ponyo loves ham!

--- Oiu Squared - Over at Stale Popcorn Glenn slipped the tongue to a gathering of pretty Frenchmen over and over again, in visual form.

--- Crissy Goods - Slash has got the trailer for After.Life, the new thriller starring Liam Neeson and Christina Ricci. BD tells us that Chrissy is naked, like bunches, in it. And Glenn makes fun (deserved fun) of the terrible poster. That's about it, for now, there.

--- Viva Ten - In the third installment of his look at what's ahead this year, Adam at Club Silencio swings from Todd Solondz to Jake's boner in one quick swoop - enough to keep me interested, for sure!

--- Up Thru 3 - Over at DH Edgar Wright's quoted talking about what changes there are between his version of Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World and the comics... the script was written right around the time the third volume came out and relied upon notes for what was to come in the next three... which changed once they were actually written. So there will be some differences. I don't care! I just want the dang movie!

--- And finally, I love that Joe did a post trying to figure out who the mystery supporting actress is in EW's annual Oscar issue that's quoted talking about how she voted. Love! Do this every year, Joe! My vote's the same as his (seen to the left there).
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The King of Cartoons

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Over at The New York Times they've got an article daring to ask if Pixar's Up might actually lose (gasp!) the Best Animated Film Oscar this year. This reminded me of the fact that out of the animated films I have seen this year I would actually place Up last. I did love the first 2/3rds or so but thought it sorta fell apart in the final act, and there are so many wonderful animated films this year... I think we can in part thank Pixar for this cartoon renaissance, as they've made solid storytelling the bedrock of all of their films, and their films have all been wild successes, proving such things - originality, heart, brains - can actually be popular. So thanks for that, and keep up the work, guys. But I'd totally be down with any of the other possible nominees beating their asses this year. So I ask y'all: what would you guys choose as the best animated film of the year?

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poll by twiigs.com

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If I forgot any, yell at me in the comments.

(related: previously we voted on Pixar's best film) And that picture at the top of this post will tell you my own personal preference by scanning the images clockwise (with Coraline, not pictured, probably tying Up, although I really have got to see that one again, I hardly remember it at this point).
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Review - Grave of the Fireflies

Hello to the new work week. May you be a docile bitch.

It has started in a good, if busy for me, fashion - I've spent the most of the morning arranging travel for my boss, who's going to be away for most of July. Ahh sweet alone time. His vacation coincides with the week I'll be taking off to go to Puerto Rico, so I may even extend my trip a day or so. S'all good.

In other news I am having some strange abdominal cramping. Heads up: I am what I refer to as a Passive Hypochondriac, in that I am always convinced there is something horrible tearing apart my health but do nothing (save whining) to rectify it. Case in point: I am currently convinced I have intestinal cancer and my insides have blackened and liquified. Any minute I'm expecting to begin regurgitating charcoal kidneys.

Besides Love Object, over the weekend I saw the animated "masterpiece" Grave of the Fireflies (Hotaru no haka) at the MoMA. I liked it a bit more than the boyfriend did (he hated it), but have to admit I found it a bit... underwhelming. After reading Ebert's praise, I expected more. I haven't seen any of Takahata's other films, but I have seen a bunch of Miyazaki's, which I've really enjoyed. The two run Studio Ghibli together, from what I gather, and the looks of their films are extremely similar, and very beautiful.

My problem with Fireflies was partly the pacing and structure, which were glacial and redundant. Both of which were fitting to the story and tone being set, but lead me to my main problem with the film and that being the character of the little sister. Who was ANNOYING. I could've dealt with seven different versions of the same scene - brother and sister playing only to be interrupted by the sound of airplanes or air raid sirens - because I have a feeling that's exactly what living at that moment in time would've been like, but only IF I didn't want to dig my fingers into my ears every time the little sister began screeching. I get she was very small, and newly orphaned, and her life was damned awful, but I just kept waiting for a bomb to fall on her head and end it already.

I know, I'm a monster.

Anyway, then the little girl did die, and we got this several minute montage of her being so-freaking-adorable and boo hoo I just wasn't feeling it. I did like the older brother character, he inspired much more of my sympathy. Especially since, as the boyfriend pointed out, he's forced to wander the afterlife with that little brat for eternity.