Good Morning, World

There's nothing "morning" related about this new photoshoot of Idris Elba for GQ but since Idris Elba photoshoots are seemingly so rare these days I'm happy to have it this morning, and to share it. Although here's where I admit that until I read the article's headline I had absolutely no idea, zero point zero zero, that he is in the new He-Man movie? He's playing Man-At-Arms? Really? Do him and Nicholas Galitzine press their pretty lips together at any point? I mean I obviously didn't get to see the film (I would have but I had a conflict the night of the press screening) but generally it seemed like critics were pleasantly surprised while audiences stayed the fuck away and it flopped. I'll have to catch up with it on VOD at this point, since I'm so buried in Tribeca stuff right now. But it sounds like we've got another Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves sutation -- critics liking a purposefully silly flop -- and hopefully that'll lead to Cult Movie status. For them both! Anyway happy Monday and hit the jump for several more pictures of handsome Idris handomsoning a'plenty...

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

 ... you can learn from:

Three Thousand Years of Longing (2022)

Alithea: There's no story about wishing that is not

a cautionary tale. None end happily. Not even

the ones that are supposed to be jokes.

Genie: But you and I are the authors of this

story, and we can avoid all traps.

It struck me just yesterday that I had totally forgotten to include George Miller's Three Thousand Years of Longing in my "runners-up" column for my favorite 2022 movies list, where it definitely belonged as I liked this movie a lot more than most people seemed to've. Here is my review where I said it is, "a weird little miracle, the kind of movie that doesn’t get made anymore, and we’re better off with it here, rubbing our bellies, granting our heart’s strangest unspoken desires." Anyway I feel lousy I forgot to include it since the movie didn't get enough love elsewhere, and doubly so since today is George Miller's birthday, so as my gift to him I'll be heading back to that post to add it in. And y'all should seek it out if you haven't managed to see it yet. I find it truly lovely, a poem for words and thoughts and finding someone who can cut through the deadening hum of the world to bring you a whisper of peace. joy, enlightenment once in awhile. 

Feeling very Alithea today pic.twitter.com/SoHBgXyVrn

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) March 2, 2023

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from: 

RocknRolla (2008)

Mumbles: If I could be half the human being Bob is

at the cost of being a poof, I'd have to think about it.

Not for very long, but I'd have to pause.

Happy 50, Idris Elba!

Our Idris Archives run long
and thick, if you're interested.

Watch This Swinton Space

 

Tomorrow (as in Friday) I will update this post with a link to my review of George Miller's fantastical new movie Three Thousand Years of Longing, a movie which stars Tilda and Idris Elba and you've no doubt seen something about it by now and I do not have to prattle on about what it's about. (Here is the trailer though, to truly cover my bases.) For now I simply want to stare at that photo of Tilda, which is both cool as hell and summarizing my mood, which is one of absolute dissolution. I need this three day weekend, I do. Bye until later, then!

ETA And as promised here is my review at Pajiba!
Go read it, go see the movie... just go do something! Damn.

Lions and Idris Oh My

Since it went up on Saturday I didn't get a chance to link over to my review of Beast -- the "Idris Elba fights a lion!" movie (see the trailer here)  -- so click on over to Pajiba if you missed it. I thought it was a lot of fun and my review reflects that -- I did make the mistake of looking at the review's comments over the weekend though and I assure you, Random Pajiba Commenter, the Studio did not buy me off. If the studio wants to buy me off, they can contact me here. I am fucking cheap! So fucking cheap. I'll work for free blu-rays and maybe a sandwich now and then, honestly. Where did this idea come from though -- that critics are anything but dirt poor sods who have an insane compulsion to fling their feces opinions around and not much more? Cuz that's all we are, folks. Ooh a peek behind the curtain! Exclusive! Anyway see the "Idris Elba fights a lion" movie when you can, I promise you that Idris Elba did not give me a handy for saying that. If that had happened every-damn-body would've heard about that shit.

Idris Gonna Punch Us Out

Consider this post my preemptive aggression -- Idris Elba has two count them two movies out before this month is through (the lion attack thriller Beast and George Miller's fantasy romance Three Thousand Years of Longing with Tilda Swinton) and yet I am not seeing any Idris Elba photoshoots or cover stories coming from magazines just yet? If this sorry state of affairs continues I will be throwing down hissy over everything, just saying. I will have more to say about these movies when the time comes -- Beast is out next Friday (here is the trailer) while Longing is the following week, on the 26th (and here is that trailer). But get on it, magazines! Or else! This does go to show you how slim the pickings are this immediate weekend on hand though, about which I have nothing to say. I mean I did review Fall earlier -- it's good enough for what it is. Oh and the slasher Bodies Bodies Bodies is going into wide release after a small release last weekend -- that one's fun! I reviewed it right here. The August doldrums are in full effects though, that's for sure. If you watch anything good this weekend tell me about it! Bye!

Idris Elba Three Times

(via) This is another one of those times where they apparently expect us to be looking at a watch, but doing a damned bad job at training our eyes anywhere near a watch -- I'm supposed to look at a watch while Idris is lounging around in several bright, tight suits? Yeah good luck with that, Gucci.

Idris Elba Punches a Lion

Much as Tomb Raider 2 will always and forever be known (well as much as anybody remembers Tomb Raider 2 at this point, anyway) as "the movie where Angelina Jolie punches a shark," so too shall the new movie Beast, be known as "the movie where Idris Elba punches a lion." I might also personally refer to it as "the movie where Idris Elba runs around in khakis a lot," but...

... that will just be for my own personal files. Anyway this movie is from director Baltasar Kormákur, who made one of my least favorite Jake Gyllenhaal movies -- that would be Everest, but I'll admit it's one of my least favorite Jake movies because they cut out the scene they filmed of Jake naked (we had paparazzi photos from the set) from the final film, and that's just an immediate docking of several grades from your product. But I remember the movie itself being crummy too. Vaguely. Anyway here's the beast trailer, which looks like a lot of late summer fun:

Beast is out on August 19th.

Longing For Idris & Tilda Together At Last

After a quick tease dropping earlier this week (and a poster too, seen here) today we have the full trailer for George "Mad Max" Miller's new film Three Thousand Years of Longing starring Idris Elba and Tilda Swinton -- you watch something like this, which sees Idris playing a big hot genie popping out of a bottle that Tilda finds buried under some beads, and you think to yourself, "Uhh well maybe studios are still willing to take some chances every so often?" 

I guess Fury Road got him some carte blanche for a bit to make whatever he wanted to -- probably so long as he promised to make his Furiosa prequel too, but I doubt that was much of a concession since I think he very much wants to make his Furiosa prequel too. Anyway  TTYOL -- which is giving off some hard American Gods vibes right? -- is out in theaters on August 31st and here, now watch this:

All's Right on the Western Front

I've never been big on Westerns. Although, as with Musicals, there are singular and strange exceptions that prove the rule -- I can watch Catherine Denueve stare out an umbrella shop window with tears in her eyes as I can watch Montgomery Clift compare pistols with John Ireland til the sun goes down, yeehaw lil' doggy. I grew up with a father who loved Westerns, John Wayne shit everywhere, and, as with sports, a rejection of all things father-related seems to have worked its way into the foundations of my being. I understand you're not my therapist and this is a lot of information, but it seems important to gateway my review of the giddying and gleeful The Harder They Fall in such a manner, because I want you to know when I tell you I loved it that this carries some weight.

So I loved it. It's not just the fact that writer-director Jeymes Samuel has fore-fronted a cast that looks nothing like your typical Western cast of yore -- there are plenty of pink-skinned second-players but the film stars in all its leading roles black faces, gorgeous black faces, belonging to Idris Elba, Regina King, Lakeith Stanfield, Zazie Beetz, and my king Jonathan Majors. It's not just that I am looking at these people doing things I haven't been given the chance to see them do before that livens up the proceedings -- but that don't hurt. Like a zap from the eyeball straight to the funny bone -- that's how science works, right -- there's just a thrill, keen and electric, in the singularity of it. A freshness that can't be ignored. We want our meals fresh -- why not our movies, dagnabit?

There have of course been Black Westerns before. When I was in high school Mario Van Peebles' film Posse came out; and while it's a stretch to call it a "Black Western" one of my father's favorites was indeed Mel Brooks' obscene farce Blazing Saddles, which explicitly dealt with the racism of the genre with the great Cleavon Little as its slapsticky leading man. But those movies (along with even just Django Unchained even more recently) were About Racism, full stop. I won't say the characters stayed skin deep, but the movies could only see their skin when it came to the stories they could tell. The black cowboys and Buffalo Soldiers were set against all manner of ugly racists spouting racist bullshit, and that's all they got.

In the opening scene of The Harder They Fall some white dude starts to say a word that begins with the letter "N" and Regina King shoots him dead before he can get past the syllable, making a joke that she doesn't care where he was going with it from there -- an "N" is too much already. And the movie takes that attitude onward -- this story ain't about that shit, and it allows its black characters to become so very much more. They're bad bad bad guy villains, they're romantic leads and avengers, they're sidekicks and ol' stalwarts and all the Western tropes we've seen a million times before. Just black. It's not that racism isn't there; it's just that these people have lives and adventures to lead that have nothing to do with it. And I'll be good goddamned if that doesn't make the picture just feel alive from someplace deep within it, with the blood coursing up and out from there.

The cast feels it too, and they sing appropriately -- these are some of the most relaxed movie star turns i've seen from this stable of fine movie stars, everybody leaning into aspects of themselves they've never quite gotten to muss with while also complimenting all of our favorite bits about them. (Lakeith as a sad quiet killing machine and Regina King as a no-nonsense terror are of particular delight.) And you better believe me when I tell you the last act of this movie's a trip, a culmination of double and triple-crosses that takes the usual Western Town shoot-out and makes it hit notes of absolute action fantastic pleasure. You really care about these folks by the time the bloodbath starts washing down the main street's thoroughfare, and so every zing of a bullet stings deep. And I'll be damned if I'm not crying to be signed up for ten more of these movies now.

The Harder They Fall is streaming on Netflix right now! Go'n git!

Jonathan Majors Four Times

Netflix's new Western The Harder They Fall is hitting that streamer tomorrow and so here are a quartet of Jonathan Majors photos (via) to whet your... well, yer everything. Appetite, et al. Majors and Zazie Beetz plays the movie's White Hats (so to speak) while Idris Elba, Lakeith Stanfield, and Regina King play the Black Hats (so to speak) -- these terms are loaded when you're talking about a black cast, huh? Anyway I posted the trailer here -- I am hoping to review this before the day is through (spoiler alert: it's pretty terrific) so maybe stay tuned for that! Until then make due with these photos of our San Francisco treat turned big, after the jump...

Idris Elba Eight Times

Dubbed "The World's Coolest Man" on their cover Esquire is featuring Idris Elba this month before his western The Harder They Fall drops on Netflix on November 3rd (it's also playing some theaters starting October 22nd, they say). That movie also stars Jonathan Majors, Regina King, and Lakeigh Stanfield, aka swoon central -- I posted the trailer here. I haven't read this Esquire piece yet -- saving it for lunch-time reading! -- but I don't know if I agree with their descriptor of "World's Coolest Man"... not when "World's Hottest man" is also available. Hit the jump for the pictures...

Harder Times Ahead

Finally some news on the western film The Harder They Fall with the all-star cast of Idris Elba, Jonathan Majors, Lakeith Stanfield....and excuse me while I take a deep breathe after that Holy Trinity of names... okay, there's more... Regina King, Delroy Lindo, and Zazie Beets, among others! Wowza. The movie has a release date now, which is hitting theaters on October 22 and on then hitting Netflix on November 3. 

Oh and they dropped some new stills, as well as a full ass trailer! We posted the teaser back in July right here, but this one today is full ass. I don't know why I keep saying that -- I'm gonna get y'all's hopes up that Idris shows his ass in this movie, which probably is not the case. The man is about to turn fifty and has only really shown his ass once, I doubt we're gonna get more on that front. What am I even talking about? God. Here's the trailer:

You know maybe Jonathan Majors or Lakeith will show their asses. It's possible. A classic western scene always involves those small wooden tubs that people were forced to bathe in. We could have one of those scenes, maybe? And yes I am still talking about this. I'll be talking about this... well I was gonna say "days" but there's no end in sight, let's be truthful. No end! Speaking of ends... okay I'll stop. Sorry. Hit the jump for a few more new photos from the film...

Idris Elba Here...

... with a very important reminder that Cary Fukunaga's masterful 2015 film Beasts of No Nation, starring me, Idris Elba, is finally being released onto blu-ray tomorrow thanks to Criterion. You can buy it right here. Now let me throw it over to Jason, proprietor of MNPP, so he can scream about how much I, Idris Elba, deserved an Oscar nomination at the least for my his, I mean my... okay I have lost the thread on who's pretend talking. Point being that Idris Elba totally deserved an Oscar nomination for Beasts of No Nation! yes it's a difficult film -- child soldiers ain't easy, who knew -- but worth the effort, and I'm excited to also wade through Criterion's disc which has some stellar special features featured. Especially that interview with the film's costumer Jenny Eagan (aka the same woman who put Chris Evans in that white sweater in Knives Out); the costumes in Beasts were surprisingly vivid and memorable and I'd love to hear how she came up with some of that stuff.

Cowboy Majors & His Merry Band

Just yesterday I shared an interview with you that Jonathan Majors gave to The AV Club and I was lucky what he was talking about was "being built like a brick shit-house" on Lovecraft Country because it allowed me to use a previously-posted photo of said "brick shit-house" stature. Because, I thought at the time, if I'd needed to find a new photo of Mr. Majors I'd be hella screwed, as I've been, or so I thought, relentless in scouring the 'net for every one. But I was wrong! As seen above there's a brand new photo of him -- it's out of The Hollywood Reporter last week, where he was included in their TV Actors Roundtable. Also there...

... our boy-prince Josh O'Connor. I haven't read the piece or watched the video yet -- have any of you? Do Jonathan & Josh flirt with each other, because if they do you need to tell me, I need warning. I need to put down some pillows, and slip into a rubber sleeve. The other people in the Roundtable ain't nothing to sneeze at either -- Regé-Jean Page, Chris Rock, John Boyega. I'll read it over lunch. Anyway! That's not the only reason we're here, if you can believe it. This morning we got the trailer for The Harder They Fall, the forthcoming Western that stars Majors alongside Idris Elba, Regina King, Lakeith Stanfield, Zazie Beetz, and Delroy Lindo. Watch!

It looks like a ton of fun, right? No release date yet, just says 

sometime this fall. If you hit the jump I've got a couple photos...

Screw Suicide & Espouse

A new trailer for James Gunn's anti-hero sequel The Suicide Squad has arrived today -- introduced by adorable Jai Courtney! -- and the above shot from the trailer has presented us with a wonderful opportunity. To "Do Dump or Marry" Joel Kinnaman, Idris Elba, and John Cena, of course. The full trailer is just below -- I hope they right the wrongs of the first terrible film -- so watch that and then hit up the comments and tell me which of those three you'd "Do" and which you'd "Dump' and which you'd "Marry" -- it's easy! Give it a try!

Hello April, Hello Movies, Hello April Movies

I used to on the semi-regular do rounds-ups of what was out on a Friday and tell you what I thought about them, if I had seen them. But it's so confounding to me now, what is out when and where and all that jazz, I really haven't done that so much in the past fourteen months. But I'm gonna try now! I seem to have a decent enough grasp on this weekend, and there's enough good worth seeing for me to try. So, uhh, let's start with the one I don't know about -- Concrete Cowboys, starring Idris Elba, is out on Netflix today. I haven't seen this! But...

... clearly I will see this. I did share some more images from this movie back around the time it was set to in Toronto last year, by the way. Moving on to better-known-by-me things, a little something called Godzilla vs Kong is already in theaters and on HBO Max and has been for a couple of days, so I am guessing some of you've already seen it? But maybe you missed my review at Pajiba -- that is right here. I gave it a solidly positive review but I gotta say the film lingers nice, and I've been wanting to re-watch it all week. That's a good sign! It doesn't feel totally disposable! It's also been a fun meme-maker on Twitter all week, which helps.

Next up there's the movie I literally linked to in the post right before this post you're reading right this minute, and that's the director's cut of the bio-pic Mapplethorpe, which I also reviewed this week for Pajiba -- I was far less kind to this one, and with good reason. It's a movie about artists that feels like it hates artists? Like, I get it, Robert Mapplethorpe was an asshole. But he was a compelling asshole! He compelled that bull-whip right on up his asshole, for starters! 

Anyway. Me and that movie are done. Moving on. In much happier news Shiva Baby, the anxiety-inducing new claustrophobi-comedy that I reviewed at NewFest last fall, is out online this weekend as well, and that'll give you a much better, sharper, even gayer time. Love that one -- I also posted the trailer right here. It's available for rental on Amazon and probably other places. Recommended highly!

And lastly but also finally there's a flick called Funny Face, also available for rental on Amazon, that I'm also recommending. I don't know if y'all saw the film Dark Night in 2016 about a movie-theater shooting (that movie is on Amazon Prime if you haven't) but Funny Face is from the same director Tim Sutton, and he's proving himself a somebody to watch. He's pretty clearly heavily influenced by Nicolas Winding Refn, but then everyone should be influenced by Nicolas Winding Refn if you ask me. So good on ya, Tim!

Funny Face stars Lady Macbeth's Cosmo Jarvis -- who we've posted about quite regularly -- as a not-quite-right dude who keeps wearing an unsettling mask around his Coney Island neighborhood at night, making everybody uncomfortable. He makes friends with an orphaned young woman (Dela Meskienyar) and silently vows revenge against the wealthy real-estate scion (Jonny Lee Miller) who's bulldozing his childhood home and all of this wanders off into unexpected and weird directions, maybe not always hitting its marks one hundred percent, but remaining fascinating throughout. 

Cannot believe I never saw this before, I guess it took this specific hair, but the bf just pointed out how much Cosmo Jarvis looks like James Caan and now I will never ever un-see it -- it's friggin uncanny at moments pic.twitter.com/7yYs7N01EE

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) March 31, 2021

Cosmo goes hard on a lot of tics in his performance yet I didn't hate it like I often do with that kind of thing; I found and find him immensely watchable. He's proven time and again to be a talented guy, and this is an odd, memorable performance in an odd, memorable film. It's got stellar atmosphere, also -- nothing has made me want to get out of the local neighborhood I've been trapped in for a year now thanks to COVID harder than this movie did. Funny Face has got NYC vibes bursting out its eye-sockets. It's a slow-boil, but I think you'll dig it if you're in the right mood. Here's the trailer:

Which is Hotter?

surveys

The Suicide Squad (aka the sequel to Suicide Squad, because adding a "The" is supposedly enough to distinguish sequels now) released its trailer today, and we'll get to that in a second -- but first they also dropped character posters for all its gazillion characters, showcasing little costume tweaks of note. Joel Kinnaman's entirely forgettable "Rick Flag" seen on the right is looking much more memorable, with the nice snug yellow rabbit t-shirt, while Jai Courtney's "Captain Boomerang" is practically Victorian he's so covered up. Thumbs down, Jai!

survey solutions

And then we see Idris Elba in the role of "Bloodsport" (he's basically replacing Will Smith although they made sure to explain he's a new character and they're not just swapping black actors thinking we won't notice) and John Cena as "Peacemaker," both new additions to the team. Let's hope this one's better than the first one, which was a godawful ugly mess saved intermittently by some great casting decisions. Here's the trailer:

This comes out on August the 6th! Oh and

I made a few gifs of the trailer, after the jump...

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

 ... you can learn from:

Babe: Pig in the City (1998)

Zootie: It's a dog-eat-dog world, 

and there's not enough dog to go around.

I have no idea what the context of that quote was, besides it was spoken by a chimpanzee voiced by Glenne Headly. But isn't that enough? I say yes. Hell yes. Has anyone watched the Babe movies lately? I've really been feeling an fancy lately -- I haven't seen them since they came out way way way back when. It's actually  kind of surprising how long ago that was when you run the numbers? Christ I'm old. 

But not as old as the legendary director George Miller, who's turning 76 today, and we wish him a happy. But then George Miller is 76 and about to direct another action-epic with his Furiosa prequel starring Anya Taylor-Joy in the Charlize Theron role (plus Chris Hemsworth cuz why not), not to mention has a film starring Tilda Swinton & Idris Elba coming out later this year, and I'm about to eat a limp lunch salad and stare at my computer screen for another six hours, so who's the real oldie? Oh that would be me, most definitely me. 

This reminds me Chris Hemsworth is set to be in the next MAD MAX movie (the FURIOSA prequel) and if he isn't wearing one of the costumes seen on the right I say WHAT ARE WE EVEN DOING THIS FOR pic.twitter.com/2zKOxXlwV3

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) March 3, 2021

Idris Make Me Roar

First things first, how have I still not yet watched Idris Elba's 2019 Netflix series Turn Up Charlie, which appears to involve a lot of him being on the beach in and out of various tank tops and brightly colored swimming trunks? Woe is my fucking life, man. Have you, you person reading this, watched it? I mean given the above gif I could give an ever flying fuck if the show's actually good or not, but I welcome your opinion in the comments. 

Moving on, second things second! Idris has just signed on to star in a movie appropriately titled Beast, but it won't just be like two hours of him in a boxing ring like it could be (see this glorious previous post of mine for proof) -- they have a story in mind. Boring! Okay maybe not it sounds fun -- they're calling it The Shallows but with a lion. The Shallows, if you're somehow unaware of that feat of profound cinema, was that movie where Blake Lively got trapped on a dinghy by a killer shark. For serious though The Shallows was way more fun than it had any right being. And Idris Elba versus a fucking lion? Sign me up!