TGT11: A Final Moment of '11 Awesomeness

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This has been the moment of 2011 awesomeness.

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So the 2011 Pantys are done! I'll write up a proper post sorting them out on Monday - if I don't step away from the computer now something bad, internal bleeding and what not, is gonna happen. You can see everything at this link or just scan down - do realize it extends back for a few pages since we've been at these manically since way back on Monday. (It seems so far away now.) In 2008 The Pantys consisted of fourteen posts - this year it was over four times that. Four times! That's as many as there were Dominic Cooper ass-cheeks in that shower scene I was just rambling about! That's a lot of ass, yo. And a lot of Pantys. And a lot of ass in the Pantys. Oh dear, stop me. Have a good weekend everybody!
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TGT11: The Great Gratuities of 2011, #10-1

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Again, I'm keeping this brief because you're already scanning down through the list, I know it.... yup, there you went. Here's a link to twelve runners-up to this list if you missed them, and here's #20-11. And now drumroll  etc. here's my ten favorite male gratuities of 2011.

Ryan Gosling for Crazy Stupid Love -  I imagine I will get yelled at for Ryan only making #10 - I know how attached y'all have become to him. Me too! Me too, dammit. The efforts of nine (well ten technically) others just outweighed his dapper swagger here by a bit. (He probably lost some points for keeping The Driver fully clothed the whole time, if I'm gonna be honest. He couldn't pose and flex on the hood of a hot car even once?) 

Tom Cullen and Chris New for Weekend - Tom Cullen had me at his "dick-in-butt face." Seriously though these guys chemistry was off the charts (impressive since Cullen's apparently straight) and they made just lounging around the morning after sexy. Although the night during was totally good too. (more here)

Alexander Skarsgard for Straw Dogs and Melancholia - Alex would've placed lower on the list if it had just been for Straw Dogs (not to knock it - he's redneck sex incarnate) but then I remembered at the last minute him half out of his tux on the bedroom floor in Melancholia and he shot ahead a few spots right quick. A man half out of formal wear is the best look ever. (more Straw Dogs here)

Jung-jae Lee for The Housemaid - Besides his perfect physical form (what is this "besides" of which I speak?) there's such an arrogant air about Lee in this movie that is so hot. He's such a jerk! Delicious. From the front and especially the back...

Otto Jr. for The Silver Cliff - Oh how I wish I could offer up more photos of Otto Jr. in The Silver Cliff than I've been able to show off so far. I posted some shots back when I first saw the movie from the brief footage I could find online, but there's so much more to see. The film starts with a long shot of him walking around in public in just a little black speedo, and a few minutes later he'll have seemed positively overdressed back when he was in that little black speedo. And he's such a big bushy-bearded brute. 

Chris Evans for What's Your Number? and Captain America and Puncture - It was only a year or two ago that Chris Evans' publicist or manager or whoever said he was stepping away from taking off his shirt, wasn't it? I can't really remember, the ripples from the internet exploding are still coming backwards through time and clouding my perception.

But what a difference some sanity makes. Chris went all out in 2011, pumping up to hulking enormity for Captain America (more here), wearing stripper-suspenders and not much else in Puncture (more here and here), and then there was the behemoth that was his 95% unclothed performance in What's Your Number (more here and here and here). Good boy, Chris.

Eric Bana for Hanna - In another year Eric Bana coming out of the water in nothing but a soaking wet pair of long underwear would have blown away all the competition, but good god has this been a wonderfully crazy year. The top three beat him out by excess alone - if only Eric had elbowed that little blonde girl out of the way and spent the whole running time swimming around and sunning himself on rocks, then maybe he'd have topped the top three. (Mmmm that phrase.) See a bunch of caps here.

Henry Cavill for Immortals - I rewatched Immortals last week and felt exactly the same way I did about it in the theater - it's beyond beautiful and also deadly dull. It just takes itself far too seriously when it should be having more fun. But then I also felt that nothing else matters in the world except for the ridiculous ridiculous ridiculous body that Henry Cavill was swinging around the whole time. Just... ridiculous. (And the fact that Man of Steel has him keeping the body while growing out his chest hair on top of that means you can check off a spot in next year's list as reserved.) See more from Immortals here and here and here and here and here.

Dominic Cooper for The Devil's Double - Double the pleasure and double the Dom, this movie was the love letter to Dominic Cooper's most perfect ass slash everything above and below that most perfect ass that we've all been waiting for. It's so amazing it has to be on screen twice at the same time! Just imagine the lucky duck who did the special effects on this movie, spending hours of their day CG'ing four Dominic Cooper ass-cheeks into a single frame. That right there is the most fortunate person in the world. I hope they retired after this, living off the memories for the rest of their life. It's all downhill from there, lucky person! See extensive caps here.

And finally...

Michael Fassbender for Shame - Otherwise known as "Duh!" This pick was chiseled into stone tablets by a soothsayer several millennia ago. Not only did he give my favorite performance by a male actor this year but he exposed his emotions and the extensive length of his shaft. That's called honing your craft.

Is there any wonder he's the biggest thing to happen to Hollywood in years? When George Clooney christens the great ship Movie Star by swinging your penis against it like a bottle of champagne then you know you've arrived. See previous posts devoted to Fassy the man and Fassy the man-parts (calling his dick Fassy Jr. just does not work, for most obvious reasons) here and here. Bonus points to Michael for coming out swinging in X-Men: Muppet Babies, giving us a preview of coming attractions.

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poll by twiigs.com

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TGT11: Actor to Actor #10

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What's the "Actor to Actor" series? First I pick out my twenty favorite performances of the year. Then I mix those twenty names all up and pick out two names at random. And then I imagine what a conversation between those two characters would be like. Rinse and repeat. For fun! So let's get to it. Here's MNPP's tenth and final pair of favorite performances of 2011....

Bridesmaids' Annie Walker (Kristen Wiig) and

Shame's Sissy (Carey Mulligan)

Sissy: Show me that impression of a penis again?

Sissy: Yeah, but bigger. Like, way bigger.

You might have to stand on a chair.

PREVIOUSLY

Jean Dujardin talks to Charlize Theron
Ewan McGregor talks to Rooney Mara
Tilda Swinton talks to Mia Wasikowska
Juliette Binoche talks to John Hawkes
Michael Shannon talks to Charlotte Gainsbourg
Patton Owsalt talks to Tom Hardy

William Shimell talks to Jeong-hie Jun

Michael Fassbender talks to Elizabeth Olsen

Kirsten Dunst talks to Andrea Riseborough

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Do Dump or Marry - The Fassys of '11 Edition

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It's been a glorious time to be a fan of The Fassy (except for that whole "not even being nominated for an Oscar, much less winning his deserved statue" thing). We've been swimming in riches. "Riches" meaning "severely damaged men flying off the deep end," of course. He does right by those guys. 

So let's do dump or marry his 2011 trio: There's Magneto in X-Men: Muppet Babies, there's Mr. Rochester in Jane Eyre, and there's Brandon in Shame. Which of these men would you have sex once with, which would you wed to for life, and which would you give the ol' heave ho? Tell in the comments!

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TGT11: A Moment of 2011 Awesomeness

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This has been a moment of 2011 awesomeness.

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TGT11: The Great Gratuities of 2011 #20-11

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I'm keeping the intros brief because this part's notsomuch about words. Although there are words. But also pictures, do not fear. We just posted twelve runners-up a bit ago - now here's number twenty through number eleven of my favorite male gratuitousness of 2011.

Joel Edgerton, Warrior - See this is what I was talking about in my list of runners-up when I said that the rules governing this list only follow some kind of insane logic in my head - for a movie promising an endless parade of beefcake, Warrior was strangely shy, and I ought to punish it for that. Especially when say for instance Thomas Jane and Rob Lowe, who only made runner-up, both got totally starkers in their movie. But Joel Edgerton is just so sexy, y'all. I cannot deny him. Just think if the movie had been more of a giver with that ass-kicking physique he built up. Oh what could have been.

Ryan Reynolds for Green Lantern - And this is another one. The fact that they CG'd a suit onto a body like Ryan Reynolds has, thereby muddying up ur understanding of how much everything below his neck actually was his for entire stretches of the film, is unforgivable.

But then... he does wear tighty-whities for a second! And he does writhe around on that space-table in litte underpants that one time! And... it's Ryan Reynolds, man. I can't help myself. Cut from fucking marble, this one. (more here)

Julián Villagrán for Extraterrestrial - We just posted some caps from this earlier this week, which do the scene some justice but not enough, because it just goes on and on for a wonderfully long time, even filling the entire screen with his underpants-clad crotch for a moment. It's a keeper.

Daniel Radcliffe for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part II - Gone are the days when I will feel weird for lusting after young Harry Potter. They left right around the time he flashed his treasure-thicket in those promotional Equus pics. That's he's become such a staunch gay rights advocate only makes it feel even better.

Ashton Kutcher for No Strings Attached and Justin Timberlake for Friends With Benefits - Consider these two a tie since they made the exact same movies and I hate them both about the exact same amount and yet I cannot deny that they did their jobs by showing us their sexy hateful asses, thereby filling me with a confused lustful rage. I couldn't sit through these movies, but I could certainly fast-forward and then pause through them. See more Ashton here, and more Justin here. Justin gets bonus points for that jean-humping scene in Bad Teacher.

Sebastian Schipper and Devid Striesow for Three - This one's more for Sebastien since I just find him completely adorable, but Striesow can come along for the ride. So to speak.

Their hook-up scenes in Tom Tykwer's film are very very hot, especially that first one in the locker-room where Schipper's completely taken by surprise... very happy surprise... by Striesow's sudden advances.

Chris Zylka for Shark Night - While his co-stars Chris Carmack and Dustin Milligan only got also-ran status for this movie (although the latter gets bonus points for making sure his sweatshirt was inexplicably pushed open around his nips during his kidnapping) Zylka shoved his way up the list by the power of one wonderfully winking butt-cheek. Also, he got eaten by a shark while riding a jet-ski and that's just so much love.

Daniel Craig for The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo and Cowboys and Aliens and Dream House (more here) - As much as I love DC's little black underpants in Dragon Tattoo, we seem to be judging him based on a curve at this point. It's the only explanation I can find for him only making it this high. We've been spoiled, I guess.

Tom Hardy for Warrior and Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy - You know what I said about Joel Edgerton barely making the list because Warrior was so criminally stingy with exploiting its prepped-for-exploitation menfolk? Same goes for Hardy's case therein, but then Tom went for extra credit by wearing a dress shirt and nothing else in Tinker and whoosh he shot ahead. As you'll see further on in the list, that's a look we seem to like a lot.
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And on top of that he made that short film where he went above and beyond the call of duty, if by "above and beyond the call of duty" I mean going full-frontal and wiggling his dick around and wrestling with another guy all at once. Which I guess in this instance I absolutely do mean it that way. Bless you, Tom Hardy, for making me mean something that way.

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poll by twiigs.com

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Coming up: THE TOP TEN!

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TGT11: A Moment of 2011 Awesomeness

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This has been a moment of 2011 awesomeness.

(It should have been awesomer, but I won't complain.)

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TGT11: Actor to Actor #9

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What's the "Actor to Actor" series? First I pick out my twenty favorite performances of the year. Then I mix those twenty names all up and pick out two names at random. And then I imagine what a conversation between those two characters would be like. Rinse and repeat. For fun! So let's get to it. Here's MNPP's ninth pair of favorite performances of 2011....

The Artist's George Valentin (Jean Dujardin)

and Young Adult's Mavis Gary (Charlize Theron)

Mavis: Well are you gonna say something 

or are you just gonna stand there smiling

like a fucking serial killer?

George: ...

Mavis: I can't hear you! You're just flapping 

your goddamn lips like a deaf-mute or some shit.

George: [does a little tap dance]

Mavis: And he wins an Oscar.

George:

PREVIOUSLY

Ewan McGregor talks to Rooney Mara
Tilda Swinton talks to Mia Wasikowska
Juliette Binoche talks to John Hawkes
Michael Shannon talks to Charlotte Gainsbourg
Patton Owsalt talks to Tom Hardy

William Shimell talks to Jeong-hie Jun

Michael Fassbender talks to Elizabeth Olsen

Kirsten Dunst talks to Andrea Riseborough

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TGT11: A Moment of 2011 Awesomeness

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This has been a moment of 2011 awesomeness.

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TGT11: Great Gratuities of 2011, Runners-Up

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The time has come for the best naked menfolk of the year, according to me. Keep in mind this list (as all of these lists, of course) is highly subjective - although I think a lot of you are here because you find attractive the same gentlemen I tend to find attractive, the logic to the way I had to come up with to organize these guys, from top to bottom (and front to side, and every which way), probably will only make sense to me in the end. So it shall be.

But first up, the also-rans. These are the ones that I managed to remember but missed out on my top twenty. They're all prime obviously, but for the most part they just didn't give up enough this time around to qualify. Sorry, dudes. Please, do better next time! I like it when you try.

As an aside, I've been adding names to this all week so I'm sure there are people I haven't thought of, that slipped my mind, I am only one man and even my encyclopedic knowledge of cinematic bo-hunkery has its limits. And if they slipped my mind at this point I say they must have not done good enough in the first place! So, the runners-up be...

Chris Hemsworth, Thor

Chris Carmack, Shark Night (more here)

Bobby Cannavale, Win Win (more here)

Aaron Johnson, Albert Nobbs (more here)

Dustin Milligan, Shark Night (more here)

Taylor Lautner, Abduction (more here)

Hugh Jackman, Real Steel

Stephen Dorff, Immortals

James Franco, Your Highness

Thomas Jane and Rob Lowe, I Melt With You (more here)

Jon Hamm, Bridesmaids

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poll by twiigs.com

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Coming later --- The Top 20!
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