Friday, February 16, 2018

Do Dump or Marry: I Wanna Wakanda

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I was tempted to use Black Panther director Ryan Coogler for today's "Do Dump or Marry" in honor of the movie because if you ask me...

... Ryan Coogler is as hot as anybody in the cast. (Well maybe not as hot as Daniel Kaluuya. Daniel wins over everybody, if you ask me.) But then from what I have heard once I have actually seen Black Panther I will regret not giving 1/3rd of this post to actor Winston Duke, who admittedly turns it on as "M'Baku" even just in stills...

... so let's go with him. Him versus Chadwick Boseman in the lead 
and Michael B. Jordan as the villain! 

Give your answers in the comments!
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Great Moments in Movie Shelves #129

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Not the usual bookshelves this time around but what's to stop us from giving some love to the video-store shelves of our youth when they make a movie appearance? I assume that this video-store in Brian DePalma's Body Double (1984) is an actual Los Angeles location but not being familiar with L.A. perhaps one of you locals can help me out - anyway it looks much like the ones I was skulking around in the mid-80s myself, and I certainly remember one of them having a cordoned off "Adult" section like this that you'd try to peek into.

Body Double is screening this weekend at The Quad as part of their ongoing "Erotic Thriller" series - it's a "Body" triple-feature tomorrow with Body Heat and Body of Evidence all screening right in a row! What a marvelous and magical city that I live in.


Which is Hotter?

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I feel just torn up that I missed the 15th anniversary of my favorite entry in quite possibly my horror franchise a couple of weeks ago - Final Destination 2 came out on January 31st, 2003, and the world was never the same again! Now every time an elevator door gets stuck or when I go to the dentist or if I see pigeons or sit in a car or walk down the street I live in complete and utter terror. So... thanks for that, movie? Anyway two of the cutest guys in the franchise are in this one - Michael Landes plays the cop  (who gets a log in the face) and David Paetkau plays the lottery winning motorcycle dude (who gets a ladder in the face), and so let's ask...

surveys

Daniel Kaluuya Eight Times

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Although I'd appreciate you keeping your comments spoiler-free since I probably won't get to see Black Panther until next week if you'd like to give me the score quality-wise, according to you, here in the comments of this here post I would love to hear that! I am sure several of you will be seeing it, given the buzz. Anyway this photo-shoot is for GQ, you can read the chat with Oscar nominee Daniel Kaluuya right here, and then you can hit the jump for the rest of the photo-shoot...

Five Frames From ?

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What movie is this?
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Good Morning, World

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Running way behind - been stuck on the subway for an hour, yippee - so a quick "Good Morning" today with Chris Hemsworth's Bicep. No matter how bad your commute is, Chris Hemsworth's Bicep makes the world a little bit sunnier. (via) Man that sounds like the tagline for a commercial for "Chris Hemsworth's Biceps." Now at PetSmart and other fine local retailers! I WISH. I would buy a dozen and beat myself unconscious with them every night in lieu of "sleep."
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Thursday, February 15, 2018

Pic of the Day

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Bow down to your new overlords, aka Greta Gerwig and Tilda Swinton opening Wes Anderson's new stop-motion animation Isle of Dogs at the Berlin Film Fest today. My heart has literally stopped beating, looking at this picture.
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Thursday's Ways Not To Die

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This might be the single most humiliating death ever put in a slasher movie. Can you guys think of any that give it a run for its money? I suppose there are the times that somebody's murdered on the toilet, but I dunno -- those shots of the boiled hot dogs smacking his dead face seem pretty hard to beat to me. What a way to go! My favorite thing about this death scene though is...

... there's Wiener Foreshadowing! Right before this guy buys it like a soggy dog we see this gal come storming out, buns akimbo - this movie is a delight, you guys. It's got ALL the foreshadowing...
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Much like her dress that girl does not get out alive. 
Hit the jump for links to all the Ways Not To Die...


Anger Mismanagement

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Remember Torture Porn? Torture Porn was the goofy nickname some folks gave to the brutal wave of horror flicks that came out under the distinguished tenure of George W. Bush - we turned on the news and saw our troops treating prisoners of war like dogs and that poison seeped into our entertainment. I couldn't get to Dick Cheney, but I sure could watch a drug addict fall into a pit of hypodermic needles. Anyway I thought of Torture Porn this week when I turned on Brawl in Cell Block 99 specifically because I had heard that it was a brutal violent movie and since I was feeling angry and helpless I thought watching somebody get their head stomped on might help. (Spoiler alert: It both did and it didn't.)

I haven't really been able to watch Horror all that much since the election, at least nothing of the hyper-violent sort - I've wanted escapism and happy distractions, the fluffy little clouds of the Italian Countryside for instance. But this week, out of nowhere, I've felt a swivel. As mentioned this morning I was up for celebrating Valentine's Day last evening with a re-watch of the holiday-themed My Bloody Valentine. And over the weekend, out of nowhere, I thought to myself, "Self, let's watch Vince Vaughn kick some teeth."

I note this as a change of heart specifically because I had tried to watch Brawl in Cell Block 99 just about four weeks ago and I didn't have it in me. Vince Vaughn, man. Ugh. You know how that is. (And it doesn't help that  director S. Craig Zahler's next movie will star Vaughn and Mel fucking Gibson, but let's not get ahead of ourselves.) Anyway I looked at the poster for Bone Tomahawk - Zahler's former film, which I adore - that hangs over my bed and I thought to myself... well, I just said a second ago. My Self listened.

Brawl in Cell Block 99 is often more of a detached video-game than Bone Tomahawk was, and it has a cast I'm far less inclined towards liking than that former film did too - there's nobody here giving 1/10th of the performance that Richard Jenkins gave in the former. But there's a satisfying ridiculousness here - bone crunches heard from outer space, Don Johnson leading a team of underground Cobra-Commanders, and Udo Keir showing up to speechify about psychotic abortionists for god's sake. 

And there's a... moral release, I suppose is the best way to put it, to watching something so unrepentantly bad for you as a movie like this. It lets us lean into our worst instincts, our most foul nature, but just in movie form. I argued for the rightness of that aspect of movie-going when Torture Porn was around, and I maintain still today that it's a healthy habit to indulge in. Now and then, anyway. We are not all sunshine and lollipops - ignoring the ugliness and brutality batting around inside of our brains is only gonna make it angrier. Some days are for Gene Kelly dancing with an animated mouse, and some days are for a face getting scraped off under a boot. Just catch me on the right one!
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Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

The Future (2011)

Sophie: We'll be forty in five years.
Jason: Uh. Forty is basically fifty and
then after fifty, the rest is just... loose change.
Sophie: Loose change?
Jason: Like... not quite enough to get
anything you really want.

How sad are you that Miranda July hasn't made a movie in seven years? I am exceptionally sad about that. The Future premiered at Sundance in 2011 and came out the following July (here is my original review) - I named it my #11 favorite movie of that year (2011 was a good year for movies, you guys). July has written some books in the eight years since - her book inspired by the making of The Future called It Chooses You is wonderful, as is her novel debut called The First Bad Man, but my favorite thing of hers (outside of movies) remains her original collection of short stories from 2008 called No One Belongs Here More Than You

But we're still waiting on a third movie - we did get news of that about a year ago; we posted a quote from her (from a chat with her hubby 20th Century Women director Mike Mills) in January 2017 where she said she's working on the script. Get to it, Miranda! We miss you! But you can take today, your 44th birthday, off I suppose.

Happy day!
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Five Frames From ?

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What movie is this?
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Good Morning, World

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I don't watch the 1981 slasher-classic My Bloody Valentine every year on Valentine's Day but I probably should - I did happen to watch it last night and it is just super; one of my favorites of the genre. I'll get into that later though - we've got another post on this movie coming this afternoon...

... so for now let's just wake ourselves up with some gifs from the "miners taking a shower scene" that happens early on in the movie. There's not a whole lot to be seen therein - pull the damn camera back some! - but my boyfriend reminisced about a 1980s gay porn set in a mine while watching this last night, so perhaps it'll bring unto you and yours some of such similar happy remembrances. Hit the jump for a dozen gifs...

Wednesday, February 14, 2018

Call My By Your Name: The Collection

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What, you thought I would let Valentine's Day go by without a post explicitly (instead of covertly) about my favorite movie romance in a very very very long time? Haha fooled you. So yesterday marked the one month mark until Call Me By Your Name hits blu-ray on March 13th, aka the day I will never leave my house again. Of course that's forever compared to when it hits iTunes - in 12 days!!! 

Anyway I mentioned doing this recently, so here goes: I've written so so very much about this movie at this point that it's become nearly impossible to wade through it all to find the more important links. The last thing I wrote I couldn't even find a specific thing I'd written that I wanted to link to! that's no good. No good at all. So here, I give you a round-up of the things that matter. What things that matter? You know what things...

THE CMBYN PIECES THAT MATTER

And I'll Call You By Mine -- I got back to my desk after seeing Call Me By Your Name and this tremendously personal essay just poured out of me; needless to say I hadn't been affected by a movie like that in a long time.

Good Morning, Call Me By Your Name -- The morning after seeing the film a first time I listed off some specifics about the film that I didn't touch on in my first review, which wasn't all that specific about the movie itself

Give Me Your Clothes & I'll Give You Mine -- On the recurring theme of clothes swapping in gay romances!

Call Them With Kindness -- This is the very long piece that I wrote at The Film Experience that talks about why I think the "pan out the window" that annoys so many people was a lovely choice that Luca Guadagnino made, along with many many many other thoughts

"I found the film sexy as hell, erotic in languorous, voyeuristic ways that movies don’t really approach anymore. Its sense of tactility, for sweat and fabric and skin, and its often-prurient stares – up the legs of swimming trunks, for example - are a welcome shock to the system that makes the forbidden seem commonplace, easy..."

On Oliver & Elio & Bottoms & Tops (Oh My) -- Uhh like the title says this one dives into gay men's sexual roles, or lack thereof, and how they can define us

The Moment I Fell For Timothee Chalamet -- On a very specific shot in the film where I realized this actor, he's got it

The Last Time That You Touched Me -- On the dream sequence towards the end of the film, and who's dreaming

Take Me Back To Somewhere In Northern Italy -- A rumination on Elio's mother Annella and Amira Casar's sly and surprising performance 

Call Me By Your What Now? -- Wherein I tried to get to the heart of the idea behind the film's title, which seems to confound folks

Oliver & Marzia Coming & Going - On a recurring visual gag in the film where Esther Garrel & Armie Hammer cross paths, swapping out, and the roles of women in the film

Elio's Technicolor Dream Shirts -- Where I talk about Elio finding his flamboyance through shirt patterns and Oliver's avoidance of the only (other) gay couple we see in the film

Those are the major pieces (so far obviously!) but there is lots and lots and lots more, all of which you can of course find in the CMBYN Archives - stuff I skipped like photo-shoots of the actors, interviews and quotes from them about the film, and on and on, are at that link. That said there are a few smaller pieces I would like to separate from the crowd, but I'll take them after the jump...

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

you can learn from:


Ennis: I'm gonna tell you this one time, Jack fuckin Twist, an' I ain't foolin'. What I don't know -all them things that I don't know- could get you killed if I come to know them. I ain't jokin'.
Jack: Yeah well try this one, and I'll say it just once! 
Ennis: Go ahead! 
Jack: Tell you what, we coulda had a good life together! Fuckin' real good life! Had us a place of our own. But you didn't want it, Ennis! So what we got now is Brokeback Mountain! Everything's built on that! That's all we got, boy, fuckin' all. So I hope you know that, even if you don't never know the rest! You count the damn few times we have been together in nearly twenty years and you measure the short fucking leash you keep me on - and then you ask me about Mexico and tell me you'll kill me for needing somethin' I don't hardly never get. You have no idea how bad it gets! I'm not you... I can't make it on a coupla high-altitude fucks once or twice a year! You are too much for me Ennis, you sonofawhoreson bitch! I wish I knew how to quit you. 
Ennis: Well, why don't you? Why don't you just let me be? It's because of you Jack, that I'm like this! I'm nothin'... I'm nowhere... Get the fuck off me! I can't stand being like this no more, Jack.
Happy Valentines, everybody!
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