Oh Lowell If Only

If I am going to "use" Chris Lowell I wish it could be in a more exciting way than this, but today I am "using" Chris Lowell -- or this photo of himself that he posted on his Instagram, anyway -- to update your lucky asses on my tech woes, which I mentioned briefly yesterday. Update: I don't really have much of an update except everything's exactly the same! But that in itself is a thing because I can't really post much until this is sorted out, and since it ain't, I ain't. I'd say today is a wash basically, because I don't see this sorting itself out in the next four hours, and mentally... I am spent. Fucking, farking spent. Just gonna go stare at shit and wish the clock quicker. Have a good weekend, everybody.

Five Frames From ?

What movie is this?

Good Morning, World

My favorite thing about this underpants selfie that actor Rahul Kohli (of Midnight Mass and iZombie fame) shared on Twitter is that it was shared because Moon director Duncan Jones demanded it.

SHOW TWITTER YOUR BUM!!

— Duncan Jones (@ManMadeMoon) December 2, 2021

There's a whole context to that but context only spoils our boners, I won't allow it. The world's better without!

Scott Speedman Three Times

I'm trapped inside some weird ring of hell today where nothing technology based will obey my commands and so I've been staring at spinning wheels and black screens for hours and I'm on the verge of full snapping, going full postal, but at least I've got these three new photos of the actor Scott Speedman to stare at, maybe talk me down a tad (via). Not really, but they're nice anyway! Hit the jump for them while I try not to hit the jump out my window...

Five Frames From ?

What movie is this?

Good Morning, Julian Morris

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A post shared by Julian Morris (@julianmorris)

Congratulations to long time MNPP fave Julian Morris, who (I won't say finally, I won't say finally) came out this morning on Instagram by acknowledging his 18th anniversary with Landon Ross, a Los Angeles based artist who you might recognize as, well, Julian Morris' constant companion. Yes we all already had this figured out if you were paying them even the slightest bit of attention, but congratulations to them on 18 years -- that shit is a lot, I speak from experience! -- and also to Julian for releasing the exhausting weight of not being able to openly acknowledge that. It's so fucking exhausting! I speak from many years of experience on that as well, at least as far as a good solid half of my family went. Anyway I have swooned over Julian since the very first time I saw him, as a demon twink in the oh so classic film called Donkey Punch...

... meaning I've been riding this roller-coaster for 13 years myself, and I'm personally gratified that we got another one! Him and Landon might be our hottest openly gay  celebrity couple now? My type-wise, anyway. So more than anything what I am saying is that we deserve this! In all seriousness big congrats to the couple -- I downloaded Julain's announcement photos so we could look at them in a larger format if we so desire after the jump...

Orlando Bloom Six Times

This brand new photoshoot of our Orli (via) is technically supposed to be selling sunglasses, but Esquire knew well enough that we need some eye-candy to go with with our eye-glasses and so they enlisted Mr. Bloom's beefcake on the case. And, in the end... well I guess there are eye-glasses there too? Hit the jump for the rest...

Benedict Cumberbatch's Doggy Style

Yoohoo, you! Benedict Cumberbatch and that beautiful goldenrod sweater are here to tell you that the best movie of 2021, which is Jane Campion's The Power of the Dog, is today this very day on Netflix. For one and for all! I mean, as long as you "all" have Netflix. It's funny how we've been programmed to think that once a movie is on streaming it's literally available to everyone everywhere free and easy, as if Netflix doesn't actually cost money. Anyway I digress (as I do) -- this one's worth the money. I posted the trailer here but no, even though I have now seen it twice, once at TIFF and once at NYFF, I still haven't reviewed it even though I keep saying I am going to write something. I promise I will! Just not today. When movies this good come along I have to soak myself in them for awhile -- spitting out immediate thoughts wouldn't do it justice. I know I'm well passed the point of "immediate" even at this point, but I'm going to use that as my excuse for laziness. It's hifalutin and snooty and makes me look thoughtful instead of lazy, dammit!

The best film of the year is Jane Campion's THE POWER OF THE DOG and it's on @netflix this very day! #ThePowerOfTheDog pic.twitter.com/BIZpww3sFJ

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) December 1, 2021

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

The Sisters Brothers (2018)

Hermann Kermit Warm: What we need to do is to put an end to all this barbarity. Put an end to all this violence - find a solution for it. By inventing a new society. A society where the relationships among men is governed by respect and the absence of profit. Thus a society without greed.

A happy 39th birthday to Riz Ahmed today! If you missed The Sisters Brothers when it came out a couple of years ago you missed out on a real treat from director Jacques Audiard and his very fine cast -- here's my review. And I very much recommend you figure out someway to watch this movie then! Or again! It's on Hulu. Weirdly the blu-ray is totally out print? You can find foreign copies for 30+ bucks but I find it real strange this movie's already half dropped off the radar. Homophobia!

The heat between Jake and Riz in this movie -- my god. It goes unspoken, but it's clearly there -- now that I think about it this would make for a killer double-feature with Kelly Reichardt's First Cow in that way. "That way" meaning "loving queer-coded relationships between a bearded white man and an asian man with a mustache on the old-timey frontier." You know. That way. That very, very specific way. 

Happy John Waters List Day!

Tis the happiest time of the year, when our dad John Waters releases his Top 10 Movies list for Art Forum! You can see the list right here -- as per usual it's a mix of high and low low low brow, with perfectly Waters-ian compatriots like Leos Carax, Bruno Dumont, Gaspar Noé, and Bruce La Bruce all making appearances. And as per usual there are titles included that I've never even heard of (I think that final entry on his list he probably got sent a personalized screener from the director) and ones that I hate -- I just couldn't with Annette (here's my review) but it doesn't surprise me at all that John liked it. It seems his taste...

Five Frames From ?

What movie is this?

Good Morning, World

It's only been two years since Waves and Luce came out but am I crazy and actor Kelvin Harrison Jr. has really grown up a lot in those two years? I don't just mean the muscles -- he had some muscles two years ago in those movies -- I more mean facially; there are times when he's practically unrecognizable to me these days. Including in a few of these pictures he posted on his Insta last night from when he was getting dressed for the Gotham Awards earlier this week. Growing up is weird y'all. (Then again the past two years have been A Lot.) Not that he doesn't look mighty fine! Oh no not that. Clearly. And I'm excited for all the projects he's got lined up -- he's playing BB King in Baz Luhrmann's Elvis movie, and I haven't seen Cyrano yet (I had to skip my screening) but I've heard only excellent things. Hit the jump for more...

Today's Fanboy Delusion

 Today I'd rather be...

... refilling my tank with Alex Russell.

(via; click to embiggen) Sure I'm happy for Alex Russell here that he's got a steady gig with that SWAT show -- and I'm happy for the rest of us that he's got a steady gig that requires him being in this kind of shape! -- but I just wish there was some overlap with "him employed" and "it being a thing I want to watch" is all. Oh well we can't have everything, and it's kind of him to share these kinds of images on his Insta so I don't have to go looking. Anyway I wasn't joking about the "need a refuel" thing -- I'm pretty blown out today and on top of that I'm about to head out for a second screening, so apologies, it's a quiet day and it's gonna remain that way. But you can hit the jump for a bonus Alex photo, because I'm giving even when I'm not...

Five Frames From ?

What movie is this?

My What Big Bells You Have

I told you about this one a good while back but Netflix's gay rom-com Single All the Way starring Michael Urie, Jennifer Coolidge, Luke Macfarlane, Kathy Najimy, and Philemon Chambers, is out this week! On Thursday! The trailer's down below. Sort of feels like we can switch back and forth between this and watching Kristen Stewart & Mackenzie Davis in Happiest Season over on Hulu for all of our queer-tidings for the foreseeable future and be finely sated with such seasonal affections. Yule logs! 

As a side-note having absolutely nothing to do with all of that (and if you made it this far through my holiday gibberish you deserve an award, really) I need to note I've got a screening in the morning (rhymes with "Vest Dyed Maury") and we won't be up and blogging until afternoon. Vest Dyed Maury is a long movie, turns out. So please, prepare yourselves. Just sleep in. It'll be okay, eventually. 

Pics of the Day

It felt like it had been awhile since we've been blessed with a "Colin Farrell in short shorts" sighting when I saw these new snaps today (via, thx Mac) so I checked the archives and indeed, it's been since February -- odd that this only happens in the colder months, right? Then again he lives in Los Angeles, and weather there confounds me. Anyway I miss the shorts being combined with a sexy face-mask but there are, you know... things... that are making up for it. (I recommend you click each one of these photos to embiggen.) And hit the jump for the entire bulging lot of 'em...

The Second to Last Tango

Deadline is reporting today that a new limited-series about the making of Bernardo Bertolucci's 1972 film Last Tango in Paris is getting made -- that film, which starred Marlon Brando and Maria Schneider and was about their characters' troubling, tumultuous, and anonymous sexual relationship, has been rightly the subject of controversy for the past decade or so after Schneider revealed that Bertolucci & Brando sprang the film's infamous rape scene on her. Just the sort of thing you want writers from Entourage to handle right? Well that's what you're getting -- funny enough Deadline doesn't mention the title Brando, but that's what is listed on the writers' IMDb pages --  but at least it will be co-directed by Killing Eve's Lisa Brühlmann, whose movie Blue My mind is definitely worth seeking out (read my review here). Anyway obviously the big conversation on this is casting -- who plays Brando, Schneider, Bertolucci? 

I haven't seen Tango in many a moon -- it's never been a film I got pleasure from watching; it always made me feel gross, and ever since Schneider revealed what went down even more so. But it's probably due a re-visit (and hey look the blu-ray on sale for ten bucks on Amazon today) since it's always felt like a film that will improve the older one is while watching it. There's an aspect of life experience that I think it requires; I just might have been far too young the first time I saw it. What do you guys think of Last Tango? And who would you cast in these roles?

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

Smiley Face (2007)

Jane F.: You think you're so... uhmm... uhh... JESUS! Then you go on and on and on about this and that and all this other bullshit! And all I gotta say is FUCK MAN! This situation is totally fucked! With a capital! I mean... Have you ever!... Do you like even... DO YOU? You tell your people that!

A very happy 45th birthday to one of my all-time favorite screen comedians Anna Faris! In the happiest news of the day -- yes even better than the word that Steven Soderbergh is making a third Magic Mike movie -- I just now read the word that Anna's got a new movie lined up! And she's playing twins! It's called Summer Madness and here's how Variety sells it:

"Faris will be doing double-duty in “Summer Madness,” playing both leading roles as twins — one who is flat broke and foul-mouthed while the other is successful and elegant twin sister. Disowned by her wealthy and conniving mother, the unsuccessful twin must rally her dysfunctional family to appear picture perfect in order to win a large cash prize at her mother’s annual gala."

I need to add a rather large caveat here that this project was announced a couple of years back (don't know how I missed it) -- it was supposed to start filming right when the pandemic began, and I can't find any more info now -- but IMDb lists it as "pre-production" and they'd never lie to us right? Well I hope we get this, because I want this, dammit. Happy birthday, Anna!

Back It Up, Channing Tatum

The "it" I speak of is the dump-truck (ass) full of cash to Channing and Steven Soderbergh's houses, because the duo have just announced a third Magic Mike movie! To be titled Magic Mike's Last Dance, Tatum posted a photo of the script cover on his Twitter (see down below) this morning, and I have to admit I'm not super surprised? Happy yes, obviously, but not surprised given how ripped Channing's been seen getting lately -- see here for an example. His abs were like a flare shot into the sky -- I sensed this coming! Anyway there's not a lot of info, besides Soderbergh (no doubt with tongue firmly in cheek) saying, "Mike Lane’s dream of connecting people through dance must be realized," so stay tuned. I can't imagine that we won't see some familiar faces (and you know what comes down below those faces) showing back up for the third round. Personally I'm really hoping they bring Alex Pettyfer back -- I know he was an asshole, but... he put the "ass" in "asshole." He really did.

Well world, looks like Mike Lane’s tapping back in. @hbomax pic.twitter.com/V9Ce62n710

— Channing Tatum (@channingtatum) November 29, 2021

A Newman For All Seasons

Since I don't want to illustrate a post with a gigantic photo of my dumb face I'll give y'all two snaps of Paul Newman to stare at, while I talk about myself -- it's not entirely random, as Paul does get a mention in my "Thankful For" list (about what got me through 2021) that went up at The Film Experience over the holiday, which you can read right here. It's a small one but when it comes to Paul Newman there are no small ones, am I right? Right.