"But only one is a wanderer..."

.

"... two together are always going somewhere."

"No... I don't think that's necessarily true."

.

Jake Gyllenhaal's Wild Wildlife

.

The rest of the pictures from Jake's latest photo-shoot for GQ, shot by his Nocturnal Animals director Tom Ford, have found their way online thanks to IHJM, and here I shall share them. (You can see the previously posted shots right here.) But wait! There's even more! Jake's signed on for a new movie! Exclamation Point Number Four!

Him and the also-delightful Carey Mulligan have signed on for Paul Dano's directorial debut -- it's called Wildlife and Dano also wrote the script, based on a book by Richard Ford, which is about "a boy who witnesses his parents’ marriage falling apart after his mom finds another man."

Is Jake playing the husband or the other man? I am just guessing that he's not the little boy here but who knows, what with technology these days. Dano and Gyllenhaal just worked together on Bong Joon-ho's upcoming Okja (which I went and visited the set of and saw Dano on, if you recall, although I missed Jake and Tilda Swinton being bonkers sadly) so I guess they took to each other. Okay, that's that, hit the jump for the rest of the pics...

David Beckham Three Times

.

See more over here! (thx Mac)

.

We're All Coming For Coop

.

Looking at that picture of Clara Bow looking at Gary Cooper in the 1927 film Children of Divorce you can see Clara's famous quote about Cooper - that he's "hung like a horse and can go all night" - written onto every quivering fold of her person. And can you blame her? My god, people. My god look at him.

And don't feel self-conscious about looking - everybody else was! With that distant far-off gaze of the goodly fucked. Goddamn it's getting hot in here. Somebody open a window! Gary Cooper's killing me! Killing me!!!

Anyway I actually do have a point for this messianic cock screeching - this movie, which has never been released on home-video of any sort, has been given the deluxe 4K treatment and is being released onto blu-ray on December 13th! What a chance! What a lark! WHAT A MAN.

Quote of the Day

.

"For the record, I was planning to vote anyway. 

That said, Mark's a true patriot, 

I'm sure he won't let America down." 

-- Hillary Clinton has responded to Joss Whedon's political ad from earlier this week, which promised that Mark Ruffalo would get naked in his next movie if she wins the Presidency, and she, like all the rest of us, is down. Balls in your court, Mark.

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

All About My Mother (1999)

Agrado: How could I own a real Chanel 

when there is so much poverty in the world? 

Doesn't it seem insane that this movie is 17 years old now? That seems insane. I haven't seen it in quite awhile (perhaps I will watch it at the Almodovar Retrospective at MoMA later this fall) but 17 years? Christ, time flies. Anyway Almodovar's  67th birthday is this weekend (on Sunday, to be precise) so a happy day to him! Oh and I'll be seeing Julieta at the NYFF very soon too. Speaking of, NYFF just released their trailer for this year's imminent festival (I love that Charlie Hunnam's Mustache is the visual they're using to get you to click on it) -- watch!

.

.

Book 'Em, Dommo

.

First things first look at that picture of Dominic Cooper sitting in front of shelves and piles of books! Swoon amirite? Somebody's sending a message directly to me through the Evening Standard (it's like the gay stalker version of Desperately Seeking Susan... if Desperately Seeking Susan wasn't already the gay version of Desperately Seeking Susan, that is).

Second things second, Dom's got a new gig! He's re-teaming with the actress Gemma Aterton (they previously co-starred in the film Tamara Drewe back in 2010 and they seem to be very friendly judging by the many times they've been seen hanging out since) for a film called The Escape, which is about "the largely undiscussed phenomenon of women forced to leave their children and families." And that's a hard topic for me to say anything further of the sex sort so I'll just leave it at that!
.

Who Wore It Best?

.

Add another one to the pile of Hot Nick Jonas Photo-shoots -- he's on the cover of this month's issue of Wonderland (via) and inside the magazine it's a celebration of the boxer brief. Or, more precisely, Nick Jonas and his legs sticking out of boxer briefs. A fine thing to celebrate. 

Worthy. Anyway these shots reminded me of a couple of gifs of Chris Hemsworth that were recently sent my way (thx Mac); I have no idea what they're from, the source didn't include a video, but well...

... they're worth our time all the same. 

But it also does force me to ask...

.

.

And you can hit the jump for a few more
Nick Jonas (with Bonus Bear Grylls) pics...

Five Frames From ?

.

What movie is this?

.

Good Morning, Et Cetera...

.

Last night as I tried and failed to drift off to sleep I skimmed through Instagram, nervous that there might've been some good stuff (you know the good stuff about which I speak) that I might've missed over my holiday, and I ended up down the rabbit hole of dudes, so let's play some catch-up. After the jump I'll share some pictures, new and not, of Harry Shum Jr., Eric Balfour, Russell Tovey, Austin Nichols, and good ol' boy slash perennial flasher George Stults...

Today's Fanboy Delusion

Today I'd rather be...

... strumming it with Billy Magnussen. (via)

.

The Moment I Fell For... Mary Elizabeth Winstead

.

Abernathy: Listen to this, the Circle A clerk has this month's issue of Italian Vogue.

Lee: No way!

Abernathy: Way.

Lee: I can't believe a fucking Circle A clerk carries Italian Vogue.
Abernathy: It doesn't. It's his own personal copy. He'll let it go for 27 bucks.

Lee: [scoffs] 27 bucks?

Abernathy: What the fuck do you care? We're talking about fucking per diem here. We found an issue of Italian Vogue in Lebanon, Tennessee. We're lucky he's not asking for fuckin' Krugerrands. I'm getting it, and we're splitting it three ways.
Lee: What? Me, you, and Kim?
Abernathy: No. Kim doesn't give a shit about Italian Vogue. But Brandy will come in with us, and if she won't, Tyson, her assistant, will.
Lee: Okay, but if anyone tears out any sheets that I want, you gotta make color Xerox copies of those pages, and I'm not talkin' fuckin' Kinko's here either. You take it to the art department and have them do it fucking right.

I was tempted to choose her role in Final Destination 3 but that would probably be cheating the timeline and projecting my love for her backwards onto that film - don't get me wrong, she's perfectly serviceable as the vision-haver lead of the third entry in my favorite horror franchise, and now that I really love her watching her in that film is a treat, but I can't say that I fell for her while watching that movie way back when. 

Quentin Tarantino's Death Proof one year later though, that's another ball o' wax. Her role's much smaller than Rosario Dawson, who earned her own spot in my "The Moment I Fell For" series for this same film (man I miss being able to enjoy Rosario Dawson; I can't wait for this election year to end already), but just as delightful. I can't recall if the above scene about the Vogue magazine takes place in just the full-length Death Proof film or if it made both that and the Grindhouse cut though - anybody know?

Anyway she's fun and memorable in the gratuitous cheerleader role (I especially love how her character gets left behind with the terrifying hick in exchange for the car and we never find out what happened to her - I smell sequel!) (God I wish) and she's only become more fun and more memorable with every passing year. I cannot wait to see what she gets to do in Fargo!

What's your favorite MEW?

.

Twice Anseled

.

I don't entirely get Ansel Elgort but I guess I don't need to - we all had our baby-faced bad-boy pin-ups when we were younger and he's just the latest model, all fresh-faced pillowy-lips set against a gold-chain's worth of sass. Anyway I already came to terms with him when he got cast as the lead in Edgar Wright's next movie Baby Driver (read about that way back here - shouldn't that damn thing be done and out already?) so I don't know what I'm bringing that ambivalence up for again. I just hope he can channel some of the charm onto the screen that he must channel off-screen and/or in a room with studio executives, is all. 

So anyway Ansel's got a new project, just announced, and I can already tell you I'll probably end up posting about it a bunch because I'm a sucker for the chance to project twincest -- he's going to play twin brothers! The movie is called Jonathan and here's how Variety describes it..

"Elgort will portray Jonathan and his twin brother John, who have agreed to not have girlfriends. Jonathan is a successful architect while John sleeps all day and spends the night socializing and starting to fall in love with a woman. Jonathan forces John to end the relationship, and then starts a new relationship with the woman himself."

The film also co-stars Patty Clarkson, but I doubt it'll be cool enough for her to be the woman caught in the middle of the two boy-twins. But maybe? Nah. Anyway I think beyond believing Ansel as two totally different people the biggest leap for me might be believing him as a "successful architect." Maybe a "successful architecture student." But a grown-up? That's asking a lot of us.  

As For We Forgive Those Who

.

I know that Michael Fassbender's new movie (yes, another new movie from Michael Fassbender - there's thankfully always one right around the corner!) Trespass Against Us screened in Toronto the other week but I avoided reviews - the only word I half-saw attached to it was "disappointing" but I know people who thought Slow West was disappointing (which is certainly was not) so I've come to distrust "people" in general. Unless they're Fassy!

He delivers. (Speaking of: Shot of him half-naked getting bent over by a policeman? Check.) Anyway Trespass Against Us is from a relatively new director and co-stars the grrrrrreat (say that in your best Tony the Tiger voice along with me) Brendan Gleeson and also Sean Harris, who I probably shouldn't find so sexy, but...

... I do. I cannot help myself. Remember that time 

his helmet melted onto his face in Prometheus? Sexy!

(Actually that scene nearly gave me a panic attack in the theater, but whatever.) Anyway the point is here's the trailer for Trespass Against Us. Watch it or don't watch it or go stick an alien slug down your throat, it ain't my business.
.
.

This movie's out on DirectTV on November 24th

and then will hit some theaters after that.

Thursday's Ways Not To Die

.

The Legend of Tarzan (2016)

I know you know that the only reason I am doing this death scene of Christoph Waltz' generally forgettable "Stock Christoph Waltz Villain Character" in the finale of this movie, and therefore spoiling it for those of you who missed the film in the theaters (it hits blu-ray on October 11th) is because this moment...

... just begged to get giffed, and get giffed but good. It's almost enough to make this a way TO die - if he actually killed Waltz between his rock-hard thighs like he was a bad Bond Girl this would most certainly be a way TO die. Unfortunately Christoph's time in Sweet Rock-Hard Skarsgard Heaven comes to an end, and that's where the horror begins. Just remember - if you end up between Alexander Skarsgard's rock-hard thighs, you stay between Alexander Skarsgard's rock-hard thighs. NO MATTER WHAT. 

I'll never let go, Alex. I'll never let go.

The Legend of Tarzan is pretty standard stuff - if I was ten-years old I maybe would've enjoyed it, having not seen many movies before that trod the same great big manly footsteps a million times already, and thankfully for the movies there are lots of those ten-year-olds out there. And every time I felt a bit bored something like...

... this happened and I perked up. For the NOT ten-year-olds in the audience! Actually thinking back on me as a ten-year-old I totally would've enjoyed half-naked Alexander Skarsgard too, only I wouldn't really have had the words for those strange tingly sensations. 

It's a shame what they did with Margot Robbie's Jane though -- they pretend she's no damsel (she even gives a speech about not being a damsel) and then the last act of the film is her tied up, dragged around by men, with Tarzan needing to save her. Barf. Oh well.

I can't totally complain.

Hit the jump for links to the Previous Ways Not To Die