It's Thursday, I'm In Love

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Please correct me if I am incorrect but I don't think there's much of anything hitting "Movie Theaters" this weekend -- I know "Movie Theaters" are no longer "A Thing" but you know what I mean, I mean streaming. The internet. I guess that the filmed-version of Hamilton is one thing hitting streaming but you've come to the wrong place for somebody who gives a shit about Hamilton. So instead I ask y'all if you've seen anything that's hit streaming recently that you recommend? Movies, TV shows, spoken word fetish videos, whatever! You decide!

I ask this accompanied by photos of my current fave dujour Jonathan Majors (via; click them they embiggen a bunch) because if you haven't watched Spike Lee's Da 5 Bloods on Netflix yet that's a good one, you should. I was a little surprised I liked it as much as I did, since Vietnam movies haven't really ever been my bag, but it plays more like  say The Treasure of Sierra Madre than it does Platoon, thank goodness. Oh and did I mention Jonathan Majors is in it? HE IS!!! Anyway everybody have a good weekend (I'm off til Monday) and again, drop some streaming recs in the comments if you dare...

Life's A Beach

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If you'd been anywhere within half a mile of my apartment last night you'd have heard the weirdest squeals and screeches coming from my window and for once it's not because of, you know, those reasons -- no, I was watching a new horror movie! A new horror movie called The Beach House. Now I'm technically embargoed on reviewing The Beach House until next week but let me just whisper in your slippery little ears that you should probably circle July 9th, the date this movie hits Shudder, on your calendars in bold red ink. Or even more appropriately black squid ink, if you've got it...

I'm pissed off at myself for missing this one when it screened at the Brooklyn Horror Fest last fall -- The Beach House is from newcomer director Jeffrey A. Brown and stars Liana Liberato and Noah Le Gros as Emily and Randall, a college-aged couple on edge who head to the titular sandy destination for some relaxation slash relationship conversation, only to discover that the cottage was double-booked by an older couple. From there...

... things happen. Probably not the things you're imagining! Now I'm gonna share the trailer below but I'll warn you -- the trailer shows too much, and I suggest you don't watch it. Just sit on your hands until July 9th (I'm sure you can make that entertaining) and watch the movie then, when it hits Shudder! And I promise I'll properly review the movie next week once ye olde embargo is lifted... 

If It Bleeds It Leads

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It's funny -- as I write up this post, the one you are reading right now, I have in another tab on my desktop a new piece at Vox from trans writer Emily VanDerWerff about reading Ari Aster's film Midsommar as a stealth trans-narrative. And that reading aside it does strike me that Midsommar and Andrzej Zulawski's 1981 masterpiece Possession, which I wrote up for this week's edition of my "Great Moments in Horror Actressing" series, do have some weird overlaps! They're both about the central heterosexual relationship failing spectacularly, as the woman decides to choose chaos over the almond-paste cuck-boy she's partnered with when the movie starts...

You might read this as a failing of my person but I've seen Possession three, maybe four times now, and I never once got that Sam Neill's character is supposed to be playing a spy? It's a piece that makes sense in the narrative, which has its characters sneaking around along the Berlin Wall and play-acting out Film Noir plots that grow more and more ludicrous as the film's grasp on any sense of sanity slips. (By the time a row of cars are spontaneously exploding and Margit Carstensen's poor dead body is ejecting itself from a trunk you'd be forgiven for thinking of the absurd climax of American Psycho, where Patrick Bateman's fantasies have got over the top too.

My point is that I never got that Sam Neill's character is a spy because he's pudding -- person pudding, tapioca pathetic, impossible to love, and you one hundred percent get why Isabelle Adjani is so frantically scratching to get away into the arms, excuse me the tentacles, of another... uhh, man? Just like with Midsommar you one hundred percent get why Dani chooses to light Christian up in that bear suit. And both films were directed by heterosexual men (although truth be told the jury's still out on Ari Aster, if you ask me) detailing the recent dissolves of their relationships. Both films clearly, I think, take the woman's side in the break-ups, and showcase their leading men as poisonous. 

Anyway I wouldn't have immediately thought of Possession and Midsommar as a good bed-fellows but now that the double-feature has presented itself by random way of my brower-tabs I don't think I'll ever think of anything else. They work! Alright so go read my new piece on Isabelle Adjani and Zulawski's film over at The Film Experience... and in summation, Sam Neill has a rooster named Michael Fassbender.

No wonder that Pig is so damned fat . And #MichaelFassbender the cock. That is one overweight chicken . Still , at least they share. pic.twitter.com/9LYcHQmBB0

— Sam Neill (@TwoPaddocks) July 1, 2020

Huzzah For Hulu!

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Wipe that furrowed half-frown off your beautiful face, Nicholas Hoult -- we have wonderful news to report today! Hulu has just renewed The Great, Nicky's fantabulous Russian Monarchy program with Elle Fanning, for a second season! They say it will be another ten episodes, so oil yourselves up for twice as much as we now have. And prepare the bear! I know I already posted the gifs from Nicholas' already-legendary long nude walk on the show (right here) but to celebrate today here are a pair of images where his co-stars Elle & Phoebe Fox behave exactly (well... almost) like I would act under such glorious circumstances (click to embiggen):

Five Frames From ?

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What movie is this?

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Long May Immortal Homosexuals Reign

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Ooh I missed something, a big something, when I posted those new photos from The Old Guard on Monday -- The Old Guard being Netflix's forthcoming comics adaptation starring Charlize Theron, Matthias Schoenaerts, Chiwetel Ejiofor, plus Marwan Kenzari & Luca Marinelli as a pair of immortal homosexuals. Having to do with the latter, obviously -- they also released a clip! A kissy clip! Watch:

I posted the trailer awhile back, right here; The Old Guard 

drops on Netflix on July 10th, aka a week from tomorrow!

ETA Oh wait! They just dropped an entirely new trailer 

for the film! I'll share that now too:

Good Morning, World

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Have any of you watched Damien Chazelle's series The Eddy on Netflix yet? It stars two fella swe're huge fans of -- Andre Holland and this fella here, Tahar Rahim. One, I have not watched The Eddy yet but I want to, with that cast. And two, these photos aren't from The Eddy, they're from Tahar's other TV series I haven't watched, called The Last Panthers, from a couple of years ago. Anyway it's Tahar's 39th birthday in a couple of days -- he was born on the fourth of July! -- so we figured we'd celebrate while we could; hit the jump for several photos, gifs, and assorted pleasures of that sort...

James Marsden One Time

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I mentioned this last week but in anticipation of the new miniseries (which stars James Marsden and Alexander Skarsgård, among many) I just finished re-reading Stephen King's plague book The Stand for the first time in a couple of decades, and since finishing it I've been trying to re-watch the 1994 mini-series... but man oh man is it terrible, you guys. Just terrible. 

I'm about 50 minutes into the 1994 miniseries of The Stand and it's RIDICULOUSLY BAD so far, even worse than I remember, and I remember it being bad pic.twitter.com/kW4Rnb6vnd

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) June 25, 2020

Unspeakably bad! I think I've made it about three hours in now and I have somewhat given up -- we'll see if I manage to make it any further. It's ruining all of my enjoyment from reading the book at this point though! And there are more important things to watch right now -- I just finally started Dark on Netflix last night, for instance. Anyway either way I'm looking forward to the miniseries later this year which will hopefully improve upon Mick Garris' train-wreck -- I don't see how it could be worse! Yadda yadda Vanity Fair has a brand new chat with Jimmy Marsden up today (which includes that picture up top) and all he has to say about The Stand in it is about its place against the current real world situation with COVID:

"I know that the filmmakers want to handle it with the utmost respect for the situation. Obviously, there's been a lot of life lost through all of this. I hope somehow it resonates in a positive way and not in a reckless way.”

Jesse Plemons Brief Encounter

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Why am I so tickled that you can buy an autographed copy of this photo of Jesse Plemons in his tighty-whities on the TV show Fargo over on Amazon right now for the low low low price of $29.99? I don't know but I am -- tickled pink as his ruddy pink cheeks. Anyway I only know this because I was looking for a photo of Jesse to go with today's big news that his movie with the genius and the legend Mr. Charlie Kaufman, titled I'm Thinking of Ending Things, has gotten itself a release date! It will be hitting Netflix on September 4th. That's 65 days from today! We can make that, right? (We better, dammit.) See all of my previous posts about the movie over here -- have any of you read the book at this point?

🚨New Charlie Kaufman alert!

I'M THINKING OF ENDING THINGS—an exploration of regret, longing & the fragility of the human spirit—comes to Netflix on 4 September.

Inspired by Iain Reid's novel, Kaufman's latest stars Jessie Buckley, Jesse Plemons, Toni Collette & David Thewlis.

— NetflixFilm (@NetflixFilm) July 1, 2020

Major Lovecraft Reporting For Duty

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I was excited about HBO's forthcoming series Lovecraft Country the second it was announced last May because 1) I am a huge fan of the tentacled nightmares of Lovecraftian Horror and 2) Jordan Peele was attached to produce. It was only later in 2019 that I saw The Last Black Man in San Francisco and my crush (currently stratospheric) on the actor Jonathan Majors presented itself and Lovecraft Country became more about Jonathan Majors starring in it than anything else -- I say all this to make it clear that there are things besides my crush on JM that are feeding my excitement for Lovecraft Country. There really are! Even if, at this exact moment, I'm really fucking blinded by All Things Him.

But seriously -- they put him in the t-shirt in front of bookshelves! They did that! What do they want from me??? Reasonable-mindedness? HA. HA HA HA! Ha. Don't go looking for that here. Lovecraft Country is basically my number one anticipated property at this moment, and we've now got a date to fixate upon -- HBO will premiere the series on August 16th. Oh and here's the teaser trailer:

I still haven't read Matt Ruff's original book and I might wait at this point in order to save the show's surprises for myself, but here's the gist -- it mixes 1950s race relations with the goopy squicky monsters of H.P.'s world, which is in itself a delightful if you ask me way to stick it to the worst thing about H.P. Lovecraft, namely his abhorrent racism.

He'd probably be furious about this, the fuck-face. Good! I love his monsters but he can fuck right off otherwise. Anyway also on the show: Jurnee Smollett, Courtney B. Vance, Michael Kenneth Williams, and a terrifying looking Abbey Lee, the model turned actress best known by me for both The Neon Demon and Mad Max...

I totally thought she was Elizabeth Berkley for a second, ha!

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Sterling! Cooper! Draper! Pryce!

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I apparently finished binge-watching Mad Men exactly one month ago, on May 31st -- it was my first time watching the show (or about 98% of the show anyway, I'd seen a couple stray episodes here and there over the years) and it was, to put it mildly, a treat. I loved every second of it. I linked to this when I was still in the middle of it but here's the Twitter thread I kept as I did the entire series:

I'm watching the first episode of Mad Men -- a show I have never watched (I know, I know) -- and I'm surprised at how young Jon Hamm already looks (compared to today I mean) pic.twitter.com/JpiJJ10FG8

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) May 15, 2020

Like I said it's been one month since I finished watching all seven seasons, ninety-two episodes, of the series, which I plowed through over the span of just about two weeks -- it was a lot! But somehow as soon as I was done my first thought was still I WOULD TOTALLY DO THAT AGAIN. For real! I would! The thing was I binged the show because Netflix was taking all of the episodes off of their platform in early June -- I only had enough time for the one viewing.

pic.twitter.com/ZcmHPmWkgy

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) May 29, 2020

Well color me Peggy because Amazon has just announced they've snapped up the rights for their Prime streaming service, and they're all dropping for free on there on July 15th -- my birthday! A gift to me from the Weiner Gods above, halle-fuckin-lujah!

This episode's a hoot pic.twitter.com/TDoXuVtyPz

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) May 29, 2020

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

The Conformist (1970)

Giulia: Marcello, don't go out.
They could hurt you.
Marcello: I won't be in danger. After all,
what have I done? My duty.
Giulia: But why do you want to go?
Marcello: I want to see how a dictatorship falls.

Bernardo Bertolucci's masterpiece (one of several!) was technically released fifty years ago today since it premiered at the Berlin Film Festival on July 1st, 1970. But don't be surprised if I celebrate its 50th anniversary again come next March 21st, which will mark 50 years since it was released in the United States, since it's one of my top ten movies of all-time and I just wanna celebrate it whenever I possibly can. It's also a fairly timely piece of political storytelling, as that quote above lays bare. Solid Antifa Entertainment! Anyway go watch The Conformist on the absolute most massive screen that you can find right now, is my point.

Five Frames From ?

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What movie is this?

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Good Morning, World

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I didn't think I was going to find any new Farley Granger content this morning to mark the 95th anniversary of the actor's birth -- everything I first came upon I'd already posted, especially in this post right here. But then -- goldmine! On eBay I found a few pages of a cheesecake spread on Farley from a celebrity magazine of the times that tickled my fancy, et ceteras. I don't know which magazine and I'm not sure of the exact year but the copy mentions the 1950 film Our Very Own so I'm guessing it's around 1950. And what!

Farley hates to wear a shirt, you guys. Just hates it. Also I love the phrase "keeps his hand in" -- it never fails to sound absolutely filthy. As for Farley's ping pong "partner" Lance Noley I wonder if it might actually be Lance Nolley, who was an animator at Disney at the time. I still haven't read Farley's autobiography, I really need to; perhaps this Lance person is mentioned. Anyway...

... what's it matter because Farley was really very very busy talking on the telephone to all of those "female acquaintances" of his. I mean who else was going to tell Shelley Winters what pearls went with which dress? Hit the jump for the whole spread, it's a gas...

The Other Half of This Golden Amulet...

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Any other Maria Bamford fans in the house? Every time I hear the word "amulet" her joke, abbreviated in this post's title, is all I can hear, but maybe that's about to change thanks to the forthcoming horror film titled Amulet. Written and directed by the actress turned first-time-director Romola Garai (probably best known as the middle-chapter Briony in Atonement, aka the one sandwiched between Saoirse Ronan and Vanessa Redgrave) Amulet got terrific buzzy notices out of Sundance, and is hitting theaters (whatever that means) and VOD in just a few weeks, on July 24th. More importantly, most importantly, the film stars God's Own Country's man of the red jumper Alec Secareanu...

... (!!!) as a voluptuously bearded ex-soldier turned homeless person who is taken in by a young woman (played by Carla Juri from the movie Wetlands, which I have never seen it but a friend of mine is a massive fan) and her dying mother (played by the great, always great, Imelda Staunton). We worship the Staunton round these parts! Anyway dreamy homeless Alec is taken in by these two mysterious sickly ladies into their big scary house and All, as the saying goes, Ain't What She Seems. Here's the trailer:

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Pics o' the Day

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It's been well over a year since I last told you about Andrew Haigh's forthcoming BBC miniseries adaptation of Ian McGuire's book The North Water and how it was set to star Jack O'Connell and Colin Farrell as rival harpooners on a doomed Arctic expedition and now, finally, some photos! Okay so "Rival Harpooners" is just a thing I wanted to say -- Jack is actually the ship's doctor while Colin is playing a murderer who finds his way onboard, so it's more complicated than just some crossing of the harpoons. I haven't read the book but it supposedly goes very dark -- I keep thinking of the first season of the series The Terror, but then I just like to think about The Terror. (God The Terror was so good.) Anyway not sure when BBC is airing this but it's supposed to come before the end of the year. You can see a few more shots of the cast over here.

More Midsommar Than Any Man Can Stomach

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Urgh my wallet is taking a wallop today, what with the new Sufjan album getting announced this morning and now this this THISSSS -- A24 has just announced they're releasing a super fancy schmancy blu-ray edition of Ari Aster's director's cut of his most recent horror film Midsommar, which played some theaters late last year; I talked about it a little here. I don't hate the longer version! I know the film felt long to some people already but I was not one of them, and I found the extra footage fascinating. And when I say this edition is "fancy schmancy" I mean "fancy schmancy" -- here's how they describe it:

"The first Collector's Edition from A24, Ari Aster's 171-minute director's cut will look as crisp on your bookshelf as it does in 4K Ultra HD. Blu-ray disc comes enclosed in a clothbound, Hårga-yellow slipcase, accompanied by an illustrated 62-page booklet featuring original artworks from the film by Ragnar Persson and a foreword by Martin Scorsese."

See? Fancy schmancy. This sucker will run you fifty bucks, including shipping, but perhaps it will fill the hole in your heart where that Midsommar "Bear in a Cage" once would have fit. Sigh. Every time I think of the 50 people who scored one of those I get furious all over again. Fuck you people! I'm gonna go look at Jack Reynor's penis and make myself feel better. (Click here for my review of the film, if you never read that.)

His Acts For Humanity Are Awe-Inspiring

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Elem Klimov's truly brutal anti-war film 1985's Come and See -- calling it a "film" even feels inadequate, it's more of an "experience" -- is out on Criterion blu-ray today, and if you've never seen it I... well I highly recommend you do. Here's my review of the recent and really spectacular restoration, which is what you'll see on this disc, along with all the usual Criterion special-feature bells-and-whistles. It's weird to recommend this movie since watching it once might be plenty for most people -- hell that might be more than plenty for most people. It will honestly and truly scar you. 

Although I will say there's an interview with famed cinematographer Roger Deakins on the disc where he says he watches the film all the time, and I get that too -- I think I will probably fall somewhere in between and be able to bring myself to watch Come and See a couple of times in my life, just because it's so intelligently made and visually striking that it demands one wrestle with it properly and not write it off or turn away from the truths it exposes about humanity and violence and or relationship with our own horror. Anyway. Come and See! Out on Criterion now! Surely there will be Quarantine Viewing Parties popping up all over the place! Have a lot of vodka.

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Yahya Abdul-Mateen Nine Times

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The Watchmen and Candyman star Yahya Abdul-Mateen II is featured in the new issue of GQ -- you can read the interview here, although it's the pretty standard "Oh shit I am starting to get famous all of a sudden" chat so I wouldn't go into it expecting to be riveted. (I did appreciate finding out he's 6'3" though.) But the pictures are riveting, in their way, so let's stare at those after the jump...

Five Frames From ?

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What movie is this?
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