Monday, June 17, 2019

I'm Gonna Get An Abortion & I Can't Wait!

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Have I mentioned to y'all that a single day hasn't passed since I met John Waters last month that I haven't thought about the fact that I met John Waters? I mean it doesn't take a lot of effort on my part since I'm still in the process of reading his new book (I'm taking it extra slow, to savor the sticky filth of it) and since my room is covered in newly autographed John Waters memorabilia, but it's still been pretty thick, this particular period. So consider today's official news of Criterion releasing his film Polyester on blu-ray come September 17th an extension of my magnificent obsession, I suppose -- and look at that cover! What glorious artwork. You might even call it... divine? (Groan, I know, I know.)

Anyway when I talked to John the other week I had him sign my old Odorama scratch-and-sniff card for Polyester and he mentioned that Criterion was working on making new cards for the new edition so I knew this was all in the works but it's lovely to have a countdown clock now, not to mention word on all the other per usual jaw-dropping special features that Criterion's including with the disc. Hit the jump for the full list...

Twas Beauty Killed the Eve

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This week's edition of "Beauty vs Beast" is tackling the terrible two-some at the black heart of Phoebe Waller-Bridge's series Killing Eve, which just finished up its second season a couple weeks ago with a bit of a bang. Click on over to The Film Experience to vote, and then maybe you can come back here and tell me in the comments what you thought of the second season, you know, if you feel up to it after all of that effort.
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Great Moments In Movie Shelves #185

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"This is my desk.
I used to work here."

We never see Anna's original husband Sean sitting at this desk before his supposed pubescent reincarnation plunks himself down and says this in Jonathan Glazer's 2004 masterpiece Birth -- we never see Original Sean at all except kept at a distance in the film's opening credits as he jogs through Central Park, just before summarily dropping dead midway through a tunnel. (It's always a tunnel.) But judging by the way everyone reacts to New Sean's proclamation...


... it would seem that yes, Original Sean did indeed sit there and work there while he was still alive. Or last alive? First alive? Anyway not much of anything of Original Sean remains in this astonishingly well appointed apartment -- you certainly get the feeling it was all there well before he was and it will be there long after any of these people are still around; it's not a home where people leave histories, it's a museum they move through gingerly, not wanting to upset the past, a thing much bigger and older than any of them. (A pack of love letters try to make their way inside, but end up buried in the dirt where Sean died instead.) Still once New Sean lays claim to this space he becomes imprinted on it...

... quite literally. With one fast fade Anna's new fiancé Joseph is obliterated, reduced to a shadowy ghost now haunting the hallways seemingly now trapped inside of New Sean's brain. His presence is rendered redundant -- hey honey hubby's home, thanks for keeping the bed warm but he'll take it over from here thank you very much. It only makes sense...

... that Joseph's last stand a couple of scenes later would take place here in this same room that New Sean has used to reclaim the title of "Man of the House" -- Joseph makes a desperate and pathetic show of his superior big man manliness...

... literally cutting New Sean off from the rest of 
the family and attacking him in there. 
But it won't keep, the dam is breached...

... the whole ship's tipped. 
There's nowhere left to sink...




... but beneath the waves,
start all over again.


Dacre Montgomery Seven Times

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Just a couple of weeks until the big banging third season of Stranger Things drops on Netflix for the fireworks-friendly holiday of July 4th, and our bad boy Dacre Montgomery is covering the new issue of GQ Germany to get us all in the mood -- I posted a couple of preview shots of this shoot on the Tumblr awhile back but the entire thing's here now (via) so here we are, following. If you missed this season's trailer you can see that right here. I felt mixed towards the second season -- I honestly don't even remember what happened at this point? -- but if they have more wrestling between Dacre and Joe Keery I could be swayed. Real swayed. Hit the jump for the rest...

Pic of the Day

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The official 007 Twitter account tweeted out this photo of Craig Daniel Craig over the weekend, showing the jacked actor (jacktor?) getting everything but his busted up leg situation into primo super-spy shape -- seems like they're trying to combat some of the "cursed" vibes this new one's been battling ever since Cary Fukunaga started shooting last month by distracting us with this gratuitous flaunting of exquisite biceps. It's working!


Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:



Gravedigger: I'm telling you, you'll end up a dirty old man reading that stuff. A pervert. A peeping tom. I saw this porno flick once. This guy in the audience got so carried away with it, he humped himself to death. 
Blonde Gravedigger: Yeah, but what a way to go.
I never noticed how much "Blonde Gravedigger" kind of looks like George Romero before. That was probably accidental -- a lot of people looks like George Romero in 1980 -- but it's also apt, seeing as how Lucio Fulci was ripping Romero off with this flick (and several others he directed). It's actually kind of a shame that Romero didn't just go ahead and name his 2005 zombie movie City of the Living Dead and rip Fulci back off, bigger and with a studio budget, instead of going with Land of the Dead. Anyway wow this is a weird way to wish Fulci a happy birthday isn't it? Happy birthday, Lucio Fulci! You have your charms!


Five Frames From ?

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What movie is this?
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Good Morning, World

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Good morning and happy Monday everybody, we've got 46 days until Jennifer Kent's The Nightingale hits movie theaters here in the US -- 46, a number that means absolutely nothing to anybody (apologies to you 46-year-olds out there but you know it's not a special year) but hey, Sam Claflin posted this bathtub shot on his Instagram over the weekend, so make note of 46 I shall. Watch the trailer for The Nightingale here, and from what I gather appreciate still being able to feel sexually attracted to Sam before the film comes out and makes us all feel wrong for that.
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Thursday, June 13, 2019

Man in Black

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It's been a weird week for me movie-wise as I haven't watched a single movie this week at all, as I've been busy with a dear friend visiting -- not many weeks go by without me watching something! Weirder still I haven't seen any of the new releases out tomorrow, and judging by the reviews for the new Men in Black (sorry Chris!) and the new Shaft I might want to keep it that way. Even the reception for the Jim Jarmusch Zombie Movie seems kind of muted...

Anyway I am sure I, like most of you, will find some way to entertain myself over the next three days, hashtag this is a reminder that I am not here on Summer Fridays. But here below if you do find yourself in need of a quick something to entertain you is a video I took at The National concert in Brooklyn last night; there are more here, and some photos that I took on my Instagram. They are a good band and I like them! Bye!
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ETA it's just been brought (back) to my attention that Nicholas Winding Refn's series for Amazon called Too Old To Die Young (we told you previously) is dropping on Amazon tomorrow, we had forgotten, and so fuck everything I just said -- there is what we're doing!!!
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Sufjan's Self Love

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Dunno if you missed those love songs and the Gay Pride t-shirt that Sufjan Stevens dropped on us last week like a fistful of rainbow confetti -- see my post here -- but he's furthered this homosexually charged experiment of his with a new post on his website which shares that picture of him being typically drop-dead dreamboat, rainbow ball in hand, alongside some lovely words about self-love -- check it out here. Choice bit:

"It’s astounding how much of our world still continues to teach us to feel shame. For the color of our skin. For our poverty. For our wealth. For our education. For our religion. For our privilege. For our special need. For our sexuality. For being naked in a garden. How do we break this pattern? Love."
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Still In the Mood for Massimo

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An important update on yesterday's Massimo Girotti post! I said yesterday I was looking for Massimo Girotti movies to watch as I'm in the mood for Massimo -- well I found one, did I ever. Well two actually. Thanks to commenter Mirko for recommending Italian director Alessandro Blasetti's 1941 film The Iron Crown, which looks promising even just on a surface level...

... that lady in the background gets it. But looking up that film led me to another collaboration between Massimo and Blasetti called Fabiola from 1949 and as you can see from the still I posted up top looks possibly even more promising, on that surface level anyway, and not just because Massimo didn't have to shave his chest. (That doesn't hurt though.) Fabiola is another Roman sword-and-sandal type flick, but this one's got Massimo playing no less than the premiere gay icon of Saint Sebastian himself...

See a couple more gifs here.
I gotta get my hands on these...


Little Buggers Schnockered, Son of a Bitch

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I was all set to say that all these years in having heard the name Imogen Poots -- not really a name you miss -- and I still had no idea what work I actually knew her for, but then I looked at her IMDb page and remembered that she was in, and was excellent, in Green Room, a movie I deeply adore, and I decided to stuff a sock in my snark's filthy mouth. She has cred left over from that still.

Anyway Poots is on my lips because of today's big horror news, which is that Blumhouse is going to try their hand at remaking Bob Clark's horror holiday classic Black Christmas again, which immediately raised them hackles... until I saw who they'd hired to direct. They have hired Sophia Takal, the director of my beloved film Always Shine from 2016, which starred...

... my beloved Mackenzie Davis and Caitlin FitzGerald as two actresses whose friendship was based more on competition than any actual bond who found themselves deteriorating a la Persona over a long weekend in the woods. Here is my ol' review -- that is a good ass movie.

If you recall Blumhouse made some news last year-ish over their shitty hiring practices with regards to female directors and Jason Blum stepped in it with some comments he made -- they then hired Takal to direct an episode of their horror anthology series Into the Dark; I reviewed her episode right here, it's worth seeking out. Anyway I guess they all liked working together and now she's graduated on up to the feature division, as well she oughta.

Now we just turn our eyes to the rest of the cast, since Black Christmas is such a group thing taking place in a sorority house full of young ladies, and we must wonder... who the hell could they possibly get to replace Margot Kidder? Good luck, whoever!

ETA oh and look they dropped a teaser poser already:


Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:


Montague: This is on a par with your other stupid accusations!
Richard: Two more brains and he'd be a half-wit.

I love this ridiculous movie, and I love Basil Rathbone, and Basil Rathbone is celebrating a birthday today, so I am showing love to this ridiculous movie he starred in. See how that works? Any Rathboners up in here? That's what I just decided "fans of Basil Rathbone" go by, by the way. Feel free to spread that far and wide. Rathboners. Hey look at this picture of him at eighteen:


Armie Hammer Seven Times

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The new Briony ad campaign starring our boy Armie Hammer has gone live this week -- there's a new video on their website which I'm a little too busy to gif up this afternoon but y'all can click and watch it like normal people, I suppose, it won't kill us! 

A couple of these shots (the black and white ones, specifically) are actually a couple months older (Armie posted 'em in February) but I checked and insanely I never posted them here at the time, I don't know what the hell I was doing instead, so if you hit the jump you'll get the whole pretty deal, Hammer-wise...

Today's Fanboy Delusion

Today I'd rather be...

... circling the block with Jon Hamm.

In the most obscene display of gratuitous gray sweatpants since Justin Theroux rocked the nation to its very core on The Leftovers the new Amazon series of Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett's book Good Omens went and had Jon Hamm -- Jon Hamm, Noted Bulge Aficionado -- of all people jog towards a camera while wearing gray sweatpants, and to be quite frank (heh) I'm surprised he didn't knock both my eyes out.

I actually keep forgetting that Amazon dropped the show already and I haven't yet started watching -- I have to thank some rando on Tumblr for alerting me to this scene's presence. Randos on Tumblr are doing the lord's work. Anyway if any of you have watched the series yet I'd appreciate a heads up (heh) on the show, quality-wise.