Wednesday, December 12, 2018

Richard Madden Fifteen Times

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I started today with a question about whether I ought to watch a television program just because it has a hot dude on it, so why not end the day with the same question, aimed at a different hot dude -- should I watch Richard Madden on Bodyguard? Unlike the aforementioned Eric Bana I already know for a fact that Dick here does waltz around in boxer-briefs (and less)...

... so Dick's out ahead! 

Anyway these here are a few shots from his recent British GQ photoshoot slash Bond Audition that I somehow didn't get around to posting before - see the ones I did post here. That's what I get for speeding ahead impatiently. You don't mess with Dick, y'all. And now you should hit the jump for the rest...

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:


LisLisa: I started this day off crying,
so if you ask me, laughing is progress.

It is the birthday of Regina Hall today, who gave one of the year's very best performances in this film, even if all the stupid awards groups (I am not talking to you, Spirits, you can look away from this) are too gosh darn stupid to recognize that fact. So hurray for Regina Hall! happy birthday! Go watch Support the Girls right now, if you haven't already. Here's my review if you need further convincing (which you shouldn't, you should just listen to what I am already saying dammit). 
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The Light, To Trip, It's Fantastic

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Every day I feel so grown up. I wake up, trim my big manly beard, turn on the news and listen to the world falling apart. I trudge to work on the subway and we all glare at each other waiting to scream. I am tall and broad and oft deflated these days. The circles under my eyes tell tales nobody's listening to. Movies are a fine escape, the best one next to sexual relations most probably, but even with the world's burdens beckoning every day I'm still the last person to argue that that's all they should be, an escape - I sit down and I want to be challenged, I want to be horrified, I want to spend time learning what it's like to live in another person's shoes.

But then a movie like Mary Poppins Returns comes along and my beard falls off, my feet float, and the years I have accumulated shed off like pink snakeskin. The shrieking devil that is Donald Trump disintegrates on my shoulder, nothing but fairy dust that the wind picks up and blows right away. Light and air and songs shine, the sun shines, I dip my toes in a soft warm fuzzy happy place and go slack with sweet bright forgetfulness for two exquisite hours.

I'm not even much a fan of the original Mary Poppins - I saw it enough as a child, as one does, but it was never a favorite staple. (It didn't even make the runners-up on my "Favorites of 1964" list that I just randomly happened to post yesterday.) And lord knows I take every opportunity I get to side-eye Movie Musicals - I went into MPR with a 2018 track record of being 3 for 3, deeply loathing every Movie Musical the year had thrown at me. 

And yet ten minutes into Mary Poppins Returns I felt myself twinkling like magic. And the second that Ben Whishaw and Emily Mortimer walked on-screen as the adult Michael & Jane from the original I knew I was fully lost - any movie that would cast those two perfectly perfect people as our forgetful siblings who need to be reminded of the joy available right at our everyday fingertips, that movie has us all in good, firm hands. I was lost, happily unburdened, a cotton candy soul.

Whenever there are dark days about, and we live in dark days, people point to the films of the Great Depression, the Shirley Temple cutesy-toots and Fred n' Ginger toe-tapping romances, as the Great Antidote - what kept us afloat. Mary Poppins Returns is all that and a tub of bubbles. It sparkles. Marc Shaiman's music, Sandy Powell's costumes, Lin-Manuel Miranda's way with a little ladder - the film transported this weary soul up into the clouds for a wee moment. Troubles, what are those, I don't even recognize the word, they melted right away. 


Let's Do the Peach Scene Again

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The screen was small and the audience, uh, cumbersome...
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... but I did indeed get to see Call Me By Your Name in the theater - as long as one defines "theater" as a room with several rows of seats bolted to the floor and a screen pulled down in front of them - one more time last night, which brings my total number of public screenings to... nineteen, I think? I think I made it to eighteen before the film left theaters last spring.

I have, naturally, also watched the blu-ray half a dozen times since then though, so this experience wasn't exactly revelatory - it might have been with better surroundings (oh to have my front-row seat at The Paris one more time) but I am thankful to the folks at NYU Casa Italiana Zerilli-Marimò for doing what some smart art-house would be wise to figure out, which is that the audience is there for semi-regular screenings of this movie. The line last night was out the door, which, well, granted Andre Aciman was there for a Q&A after the film. But CMBYN has still got an enthusiastic cult and we will show up. Anyway as I mentioned Aciman was there and if you missed it here's video of him giving a little more information on that "sequel" (although he doesn't like that word) that he just recently made headlines about:
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A (Cow)boy and his Dog

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Twenty-five movies get tossed into the National Film Registry every year and reading through them I'm usually like, "That wasn't there already?" flabbergasted, and there are some of them this year - Hud and Leave Her to Heaven and Rebecca, oh my - but the two big titles don't have that feeling; they feel right on time. They are Ang Lee's Brokeback Mountain, which just turned 13 this year, and Steven Spielberg's Jurassic Park, which turned 25. Both wonderful choices, as you can tell by them both having their own individual tags here at MNPP. The MNPP tag was the true honor obviously, but this Film Registry thing is a perfectly nice runner-up. Go read the entire list of movies over here. (pics via)


Five Frames From ?

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What movie is this?
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Good Morning, World

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(pic via) Alright are any of you creeps watching Dirty John or what? My love for Eric Bana is long and firm but I don't know if I can do Dirty John, so I need one of you creeps to tell me if it's worth the effort. I mean I would already know if the show had Eric Bana hanging out in boxer briefs a bunch (I have feelers for such things) so in the absence of Eric Bana hanging out in his boxer-briefs a bunch... do I care? Tell me to care or not! And good morning!
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Tuesday, December 11, 2018

Gay Boys & The Gay Boys Who Love Them

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Whoopsie I forgot to link this last week, but then the opposite of whoopsie too since there is never a bad time to talk about (being in bed with) Ben Whishaw -- the second half of The Film Experience's communal tackling of the Golden Globe nominations went up on Saturday, you can read it right here. (And in case you missed it all here was the first half.) It is very happy and gay, my favorites things. And speaking of I mention therein Luke Evans in The Alienist, and have we all seen the pictures of Noted Luke at the beach speedo'd up and getting frisky...

... with his now public boyfriend, actor Victor Turpin? They even hold hands, and I have a feeling something is happening under the water there. This is a thrill for those of us who've been pushing Luke since He Knows When And What He Did, and he looks pretty content here to boot, so hit the jump for a few (dozen) more shots of satisfaction for all of us now that we've gratefully moved on past all of that earlier nonsense...

5 Off My Head: Siri Says 1964

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We haven't had time to talk to the little lady that lives inside of our phones for months now! The poor lady got so angry she up and left, who can blame her, and I had to buy a brand new phone to have somebody to talk to. (Don't judge me.) So today, with an extra hour to spare and a guilty weight upon my heart I figure why not, let's communicate with this new sucker.

That's right, it's time for our "Siri Says" series, in which I ask my telephone to tell me a number between 1 and 100 and then choose my favorite movies from the year that corresponds with that number. We've done well over half of all the numbers by now and so it always takes a few tries to get a fresh number out of Siri but today it only took, well, like seven tries. That's not so bad! And Siri gave me "64" (eventually) and so today we're celebrating The Movies of 1964. Let's take a look!

My 5 Favorite Movies of 1964

(dir. Alfred Hitchcock)
-- released on November 9th, 1964 --

(dir. Jacques Demy)
-- released on December 16, 1964 --

(dir. Stanley Kubrick)
-- released on January 29th, 1964 --

(dir. Mario Bava)
-- released on April 10th, 1964 --

(dir. Roger Corman)
-- released on September 16th, 1964 --

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Runners-up: Goldfinger (dir. Guy Hamilton), Hush Hush Sweet Charlotte (dir. Robert Aldrich), Strait Jacket (dir. William Castle), That Man From Rio (dir. Phillippe de Broca)...

... What a Way To Go! (dir. Thompson), The Last Man on Earth (dir. Sidney Salko), The Gorgon (dir. Terence Fisher), The Comedy of Terrors (dir. Tourneur), The Naked Kiss (dir. Samuel Fuller)... 

...... Kitten With a Whip (dir. Douglas Hayes), First Men in the Moon (dir. Nathan Juran), Onibaba (dir. Kaneto Shindô), Tomb of Ligeia (dir. Corman), Ghidora, The Three-Headed Monster (dir. Honda), Kwaidan (dir. Masaki Kobayashi), Dead Ringer (dir. Paul Henreid), Zorba the Greek (dir. Michael Cacoyannis)

Never seen: A Hard Day's Night (dir. Richard Lester), Becket (dir. Peter Glenville), A Married Woman (dir. Jean-luc Godard), Band of Outsiders (dir. Godard), Nothing But the Best (dir. Clive Donner), Joy House (dir. Rene Clement), I Am Cuba (dir. Mikhail Kalatozov), Marriage Italian Style (dir. Vittorio De Sica), Diary of a Chambermaid (dir. Bunuel)

What are your favorite movies of 1964?
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Crazy Killer Chris Coming Our Way

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We already know that Ewan McGregor is playing the main bad guy in Birds of Prey, Margot Robbie's spin-off movie from Suicide Squad that's got her reprising her fun turn as Harley Quinn, who in this series recruits a bunch of super-ladies (including Mary Elizabeth Winstead!) to do [insert bland Macguffin plot here]. But since one bad guy (much less an entire team of super-females) ain't enough anymore we've just got word that there will be another bad guy (a crazy serial killer who carves himself up named Victor Zsasz) and he'll be played by Chris Messina. First thing I googled? To see if the villain wears leather pants. I really want Evil Chris Messina in leather pants. Well the pants depending on the adaptation...

... but Victor Zsasz is almost always shirtless, the better to show off his self-inflicted wounds (one for every victim), and I guess that will do. Looks like Chris will also have to shave his head? I think he can pull off bald, right? It will highlight those killer lips of his. Emphasis on killer, I guess. Oh man, another messed up pervert for me to fawn over? The list has gotten so endless...
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Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:


Valentine: You're not afraid?
The Judge: I wonder what I'd do
in their place. The same thing.
Valentine: You'd throw stones?
The Judge: In their place? Of course.
And that goes for everyone I judged.
Given their lives, I would steal, I'd kill, I'd lie.
Of course I would. All that because
I wasn't in their shoes, but mine.

A happy 88 to the legend Jean-Louis Trintignant.
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Jake Gyllenhaal Loves Tom Boys

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We're starting to get a clear picture of what 2019 will look like in Jake Gyllenhaal land and it's looking pretty big -- at the Public Theater here in NYC starting in February he's got the latest Nick Payne play called A Life, which is being produced as a two-fer with a second one-man short piece called Sea Wall which will star Tom Sturridge; Vogue shared a picture of them yesterday...

... although sadly they're obviously photo-shopped next to one another. I would've preferred it if Tom recreated this moment from the Mary Shelley movie with an in-the-flesh Jake but whatever, we can't have everything I suppose. But then again maybe we can...

... since Jake has only done one count it one public event for next year's Spider-man: Far From Home movie, which has him playing the villain Mysterio opposite Tom Holland's pint-sized super-pest, and already I love their love more than any love ever, amen.

I've got some more photos of them becoming my new favorite power couple (such restraint it took to leave a "bottom" out of that phrase, you guys, such restraint) down below, but before that let's cover the other brand new 2019 news for Jake -- he's going to star in an English-language remake of The Guilty, Denmark's submission for the Oscars this year which I just reviewed a couple of weeks ago right here. I think this is a great idea! The movie is basically a one-man play - it will translate just fine as long as Jake brings it, and Jake always brings it. Just ask Tom Holland. He knows. Hit the jump for more of these two, who are clearly very pleased to be in each other's presence...

Five Frames From ?

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What movie is this?
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Good Morning, World

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If you follow Aussie actor Alex Russell on Instagram (and why would you not) then you've noticed he's been beefing himself up, body-wise, for some "secret project" for a few months - I still have no idea what he's on about but I am enjoying the mystery. The cut-from-marble mystery. Anyway a happy 31st birthday to the Chronicle star, last seen by us being a jerk to Mackenzie Davis in that Izzy movie, skinny-dipping with Daniel Radcliffe in Jungle, and best of all having intense relations with Sullivan Stapleton in Cut Snake. And we can't wait to see what your "secret project" is given all this body prep...


Monday, December 10, 2018

Joe Alwyn Six Times

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I feel as if I've posted a new Joe Alwyn photo-shoot every week for the past two months, because... well, because I basically have. It feels a little Mulholland Drive at this point - somebody really wants Joe to happen! And I keep posting them so clearly I am not against said happening. I just think it's funny - in the Esquire interview alongside these photos Joe says he'd like to keep his relationship with [redacted] private and all I can picture is Tom Hiddleston running around in a wet "I Heart TS" tank-top and yeah, no kidding dude, you saw what happened to the other guy. Keep it private! But not too private, of course. Anyway the very best of luck to Joe as a future teenybopper pop hit, and let's hit the jump for the rest...