Friday, April 28, 2017

Dogs & Gods

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Just a quick check-in before good night and beddy-bye -- just got home from the 25th anniversary screening of Quentin Tarantino's Reservoir Dogs at the Tribeca Film Festival, as you can see above. I've been waiting for years and years to check QT off my "Starfucking Directors" list and the bastard's avoided me until now - he's finally got a big red check beside his name, thank goodness. 
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I've got a minute of video from a story he told that I'll upload next week and share but I did want to pop in and say howdy quick like since I've been so scarce. So howdy. The fest ends this weekend and I've still got a couple of movies to see and a goddamned ton of reviews to share, so stay tuned for those, and come Monday we'll be back up and running like normal. Have a nice weekend, everybody. 

Oh and let's all remember to watch  
American Gods on Sunday!!!
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Good Morning, Naked Jai Courtney Again

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First things first I actually reviewed The Exception over at The Film Experience last night, click here to read that. Yes, there is a movie surrounding Naked Jai Courtney, if you can believe it. I mean I spent half the movie thinking about Naked Jai since his nudity (some of which - a big some! - we posted yesterday) comes early, but the movie does indeed happen. I can confirm that.

Anyway I would normally make these gifs with my own pair of hands, because I am nothing if not a handsy guy, but because my weird schedule with Tribeca screenings is still going on so I've just got to steal them (from here, thanks Mac), hence the watermark you'll see. Anyway they are NSFW so hit the jump for them...

Thursday, April 27, 2017

My Sexual Orientation...

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... is Aaron Taylor-Johnson 
bent over mid-century modernism. 
(via)
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Something That's Round

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This is a movie review of the film called The Circle. When you write a movie review, first you go somewhere and you watch a movie. You could watch the movie at home too, maybe. Both are possible. Then you go home, if you have gone out anyway, and you think about the movie some. And then you write the review. That is how movie reviewers usually write movie reviews. A movie review usually begins with the reviewer telling the people reading the review what the movie they are reviewing is called. So this is a movie review of The Circle.

Wasn't that paragraph exhausting? Then you know how I felt after watching The Circle, which is nothing but tell and no show. The Circle stars the lovely and talented Emma Watson as something called "Mae," which is the antithesis of a human being - "Mae" veers so wildly from smiley face emoticon to frowny face emoticon depending on the absurd immediate needs of the... I hesitate to use the word "plot." The inconsistent arrangement of happenings?

First happening: this Mae thing gets a job at the social media godhead called The Circle. And over the course of the next one hundred minutes Mae's attitude towards The Monolithic Horror of The Internet will depend on who she's talking to, or whether she ate a blueberry muffin that day or not I guess - who knows? Certainly not this movie. 

The one consistency is all the characters will stand around and talk about what they are doing, without ever actually really doing anything. I suppose the movie in that way echoes actual social media, but it's like an Instagram account filled with pictures of inspirational platitudes. It completely misunderstands its platform. The Circle is a movie. As such, it should show us moving pictures. There are ideas here that, if they had actually been turned into action, could have become something worth watching. Show us people living in a world where this social media platform has taken over. Give us a story about characters surviving that. 

That I even have to write "give us a story about characters" tells you all you need to know about The Circle
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One Rough Ride

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I think I can be forgiven for reading into the way Jon Bernthal and Richard Armitage are looking at each other in this scene from Pilgrimage, the medieval action movie that I reviewed out of Tribeca over at The Film Experience. I mean, really. Add Tom Holland to the mix and well... I mean really.


Five Frames From ?

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What movie is this?
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Good Morning, Naked Jai Courtney

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I was considering going to see The Exception a second time this morning just to see The Jai Courtney Full Frontal Experience again...
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... but then I remembered that The Exception actually hits the DirecTV platform today and so the internet, being such as it is, would be awash with Jai peen. And sure enough! (I might still go to the screening this morning because Jai's friend deserves the big screen for proper receipt, and there is more nudity than just this shot.) Thanks for the heads-up, Henry, and y'all hit the jump for the full Experience I was just telling you about...

Wednesday, April 26, 2017

Whoopsie

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Here is a gif of Jake ripping off his pants to keep y'all company while I'm in TriBeCa screenings from 9 this morning until 8 tonight -- my apologies for not alerting you to this egregious absence sooner but I am nothing if not a disheveled shell of a person.  On that note let it be known that the next couple of days are all looking like this, so it'll be more of the same through the end of the week. I'll try to pop in when I can!
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Tuesday, April 25, 2017

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:


Oscar: What's your resolution? 
Sophina: I'm gonna cut carbs. 
Oscar: Aren't you Mexican? 
You can't eat nothin' Grandma makes. 
Sophina: It only takes 30 days to form a habit, 
and then it becomes second nature. 
Oscar: Who says that? 
Sophina: Oprah. 
Oscar: Okay. Oprah cool now? 

A happy 33rd birthday to the terrific Melonie Diaz
who I am always overjoyed to see on screen. 
Somebody give her a big juicy leading role already.


Aaron Taylor Johnson Ten Times

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I feel like I've been bopping back and forth between new photo-shoots of the same handful of menfolk for the past few weeks but I can't help it the magazines seem besotted with a specific few - until Aaron Taylor-Johnson and his contemporaries start coming over to my apartment to pose for me (which is an open, standing offer, you guys!) I have to take what is given. So here's another photo-shoot of Aaron (via, thx Mac) for our collections. Hit the jump for the rest...

The Cavill Stache

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Henry Cavill has given himself a mustache for the new Mission: Impossible movie he's currently filming with Tom Cruise, and he seems to really be loving it - he's been posting little love poems to it on his Instagram all week. I'm with him - I think he wears it extremely well - but it struck me all may not agree, so...
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Smile, Guillaume

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I was feeling fairly punch-drunk by the time I sat down on Sunday to watch Rock'n Roll, Guillaume Canet's goofy new movie starring himself and his girlfriend Marion Cotillard (playing "himself" and "his girlfriend Marion Cotillard") because it was my fifth movie of the day, so you maybe shouldn't entirely trust my reaction, but you can read that reaction - an appreciative one - right now over at The Film Experience. It was just what I needed, though.
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Five Frames From ?

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What movie is this?
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Bitter Sweet November

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The freaky Estonian folk tale movie November is one of those movies that you'll never forget once you watch it - it's screening at the Tribeca Film Festival this week and you can read my thoughts on the movie over at The Film Experience. I'm not sure I could really tell you what it's about, even after thinking about it a bunch, but mood-wise it sticks.
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Good Morning, Hoult

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Well have any of you watched Sand Castle on Netflix yet? That's the Iraq War movie with Nicholas Hoult (taking a shower at one point, apparently) and Henry Cavill and Glen Powell and Logan Marshall-Green - we posted the trailer here and we've kept track of several batched of pictures, click through here, because we do love ourselves a man in uniform. It's been online since this weekend but I've been too busy with Tribeca to watch it myself -- that said once I got wind of this scene (thx Mac) I knew I had to share this much. Hit the jump for all the "how low can that camera go" gifs...

Monday, April 24, 2017

Have Your Hunnam...

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... and eat it too.
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Today's Fanboy Delusion

Today I'd rather be...

... pumping away with Luke.

Luke posted this video on Instagram and said he's trying to get "boulder shoulders" over the weekend and all I could think was "He's as big a fan of Beaches as I am!" It's a good thing he finally answered the Gay Question recently because loving Beaches is the most indisputable proof there is.


Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

Homicidal (1961)

Karl: Is there any way to tell?
Dr. Jonas: Huh? Tell what, Karl?
Karl: Well. If a person's homicidal?
Dr. Jonas: ... No... That's what makes them
so dangerous. They can change from being your
friend into your murderer in a second's time!!! 
The great writer slash producer slash director slash showman William Castle (who just got the John Waters treament on Feud a couple weeks ago) was born on this day in the year 1914. If you've never seen the 2007 documentary Spine Tingler about him I definitely recommend it; and if you've never gotten to see his 1959 film The Tingler with the theater seats wired up to shock you at choice moments I recommend that even moreso. 

I've actually never seen Homicidal, the movie quoted here, but I love this quote too much. (And how great is the DVD's Hitchcock rip-off cover too?) And normally I'd ask here what movie of his is your favorite, but the only correct answer is his 1969 producer credit on Rosemary's Baby, obviously, so nevermind that. Have any of you read Castle's autobiography Step Right Up: I'm Gonna Scare the Pants Off America? I haven't yet but I gotta fix that - I have a feeling he had some stories to tell!

Hyper Conscious Series of Humiliations

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I do believe that we're well past overdue Shirley MacLaine and Meryl Streep acting in another movie together, don't you think? It's been almost thirty years since Postcards From the Edge came out! And they don't appear to hate each other or anything - you can find plenty of photographs of the two (see down below) hanging out in the years since. I suppose the blame is once again to be laid at Dumb Sexist Hollywood's feet. Ugh, fuck you, Hollywood.

Anyway we're celebrating them today -- it's MacLaine's 83rd birthday and so over at The Film Experience this week's "Beauty vs Beast" is tackling Postcards, and I fully expect to hear a bunch of actressexuals heads exploding all over the world at having to choose.


Justin Theroux Nine Times

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I was trying to figure out why I liked this photo-shoot of Justin Theoux in the new issue of L'Uomo Vogue so much (the same issue that has Chris Evans on the cover, as seen here) and I realized that these pictures (via, thx Mac) are the closest we'll ever get to an episode of Miami Vice directed by Rainer Werner Fassbinder, and that is reason enough.

Also Justin has the hair I have always dreamt I will have some day - he's got the best receding hairline. As long as it stays where it's at, of course. (Take no offense, Bald Men of the World, I have plenty of love for you too. But we can't all be bald! The world of hair needs variety.) Hit the jump for the rest...