Wednesday, February 20, 2019

Pantys 2018 - Actor to Actor #5

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Among many things we're doing this week as part of our "Golden Trousers" awards we're taking a look at our 20 favorite performances of 2018 -- how we're doing this is we randomly selected ten pairs of names from our list and then we're imagining a moment between the two characters chosen. Ten times. You can see our previous ones here but for now here's our fifth random pairing from our 2018 faves...

Nina Geld (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) in All About Nina
meets Madame Blanc (Tilda Swinton) in Suspiria

Nina: Vaginas!! Am I right, ladies?
Madame Blanc: Ja! Ja! She is right, she is. 
I love this "comedy."
Dr. Klemperer: Eeet ees funny because uf 
the Frrrreudian connotations zurrounding ze womb 
ant ze primordial muzzah figgah.
Helena Markos: CUNTS!!!


Big Boys Don't Blog

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Alrighty we're closing up shop a little early today as we've got the New Matthias Schoenaerts Joint to ingest this evening -- it's called The Mustang and you can watch the trailer for it right here; it'll be in front of you uncool plebes on March 15th. In case you missed it earlier Matthias was sighted chillaxing n' such with his co-star on his next film Joel Kinnaman earlier -- I just updated that post with a second shot of the fellas together, since what the world needs now is them, sweet them. Anyway you can stay tuned for some more of our on-going 2018 awards scheduled for later, and we'll continue those plus all our nonsense tomorrow...


Let Me Tell You Something, Brother

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The last time Chris Hemsworth tried out a big ol' mustache it didn't turn out too bad if you ask us, so check his lip for signs of staches (not to mention his shorts for glutes) to come again -- he's about to play my grandmother's favorite TV wrestler (yes really), aka Mr. Hulk Hogan, in a bio-pic from Old School and The Hangover director Todd Phillips for Netflix. And yes, Hulk Hogan is a real prick in real life so I hope they don't lionize him too much... that said you should get ready for two hours of Chris Hemsworth wearing this:

Well I know I am already fucking ready.
I have been preparing my whole life for this.
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Flesh & the Devil

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Now that all of Netflix's Marvel Superhero shows have gotten the can there are a bunch of hot pieces on the market -- I've got the highest bid out there for Charlie Cox right now by offering him my immortal soul -- but it looks like the Luke Cage star here has lined up his next job already. It sounds very The X-Files meets The Exorcist -- they probably should've called it The Exorcist Files, but they went with Evil. It's a pilot for CBS about a priest and a scientist who team up to see if miracles and possession and such is real. Mike is playing a priest-in-training. Bless me, Daddy!
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Jesse Williams Seven Times

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Here is a new photo-shoot of Jesse Williams, aka one of Planet Earth's most beautiful men -- I suppose he is still on Grey's Anatomy, which I certainly don't be grudge him, but I sure do wish somebody would shove him into some more movies since...

... I don't want to watch that show but I want to look at him, man! Well I guess while I'm posting this really very glorious photo-shoot it's the wrong moment to complain about such a thing, so let's go ahead and hit the jump and do our looking at him, then...

Pantys 2018 - Actor to Actor #4

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Among many things we're doing this week as part of our "Golden Trousers" awards we're taking a look at our 20 favorite performances of 2018 -- how we're doing this is we randomly selected ten pairs of names from our list and then we're imagining a moment between the two characters chosen. Ten times. You can see our previous ones here but for now here's our fourth random pairing from our 2018 faves...

Samuel Alabaster (Robert Pattinson) in Damsel meets
Peter (Alex Wolff) in Hereditary

Samuel: I tol' you 'bout my betrothed Penelope? She's the 
purdiest lil' biscuit you ever done seen, I's 'bout reckon.
Peter: Yeah, mmhmm, you said.
Samuel: Upon the back of a small horse called Buttercup 
I ride, and I wrote my Penelope a song, I did. 
Might I play it for you upon this fine, fine day, young Peter?
Peter: You already did, man. Twice.
Samuel: My Penelope, my purdy purdy Penelope, she...
Peter: [tongue click]
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Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

The Player (1992)

June: I don't go to movies.
Griffin: Why not?
June: Life is too short.

Robert Altman was born this day, 1925.
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Great Gratuity of 2018 #6

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I loved Brian Crano's film Permission before they went and gave me my first critic's quote in their movie trailer -- I mean that's how I got the quote in the trailer in the first place, duh. I reviewed it at Tribeca two entire years back now, and now having watched it a couple more times since I maintain it's one of the best rom-coms to come out this decade. All of the six main actors -- Rebecca Hall and Dan Stevens, Morgan Spector and David Joseph Craig, François Arnaud and especially Gina Gershon (who I just gave a spot in my Favorite Performances of 2018), are doing terrific, funny, and emotionally complicated work. The film itself just missed out on my Top 30, but as I said then 2018 was a helluva year. And to top it all off Crano's smart enough to know that if letting Rebecca Hall act in front of us is a gift, letting Rebecca Hall act in front of us while François Arnaud gets naked right behind her is like a really, really big gift. Hit the jump for a couple of them gif(t)s...

Pic of the Day

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Matthias Schoenaerts and Joel Kinnaman are currently hanging out, as seen there via both of their Instagrams... well okay they're not just "hanging out" as much as I'd like to pretend that Kinnaman's recent divorce has led to this new relationship -- they're filming the movie The Sound of Philadelphia, which I told you about previously right here. Except when I told you about it then the film didn't have Joel involved -- Matty's co-stars were Garrett Hedlund & Scoot McNairy. They're both still listed on the film's IMDb page while Joel is nowhere to be seen, so I'm not sure if Joel's replacing one of them or if he's another character altogether?  Either way we'll keep our eyes on this for sure. And if a picture of those two plus Scoot & Garrett suddenly appears in the world don't worry, you'll know, since you'll hear me screaming from where ever you are. ETA oh look another:


Pantys 2018: My 10 Favorite Scary Movies

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Before I dive head-long into my Top 20 films of 2018 for our "Golden Trousers" awards (although you can see 10 runners-up we posted last week right here) I wanted to spotlight the best of my favorite movie genre -- what scared us in 2018? Well I think y'all know the answer to that. Its a big blobby wailing monster whose skin and hair is just about the same color as those pants to the left. So we took refuge from the real world's frights in movies that were almost to a tee about finding one's self in a world gone wrong, where the things you thought you could count on were upended, poisoned, curdled bad. Relationships, whether romantic or familial, were not to be trusted, while the world out of doors is enthusiastically sharpening its knives. You know. That ol' spooky junk. Been there, crapped my pants, bought the t-shirt. So here's my big ten boos, with a bonus favorite bit to chew on each...

(dir. Colin Minihan)
-- read my review here --

Best Moment / Scare: The upstairs fight scene

(dir. David Bruckner)
-- read my review here --

Best Moment / Scare: The creature knocks

(dir. Coralie Fargeat)
-- read my review here --

Best Moment / Scare: Glass removal
(dir. Duncan Skiles)
-- read my review here --

Best Moment / Scare:
Watching dad from under the bed

(dir. Dominique Rocher)
-- read my review here --

Best Moment / Scare: Drum breakdown

(dir. Lars von Trier)
-- read my review here --

Best Moment / Scare: Simple

4. Cam
(dir. Daniel Goldhaber)
-- read my review here --

Best Moment / Scare: "Lola"'s gunplay

(dir. Marco Dutra & Juliana Rojas)

Best Moment / Scare: Cat Hunting

(dir. Ari Aster)
-- read my review here --

Best Moment / Scare: Telephone Pole

(dir. Luca Guadagnino)
-- read my review here --

Best Moment / Scare: Anke Comes Home

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Runners-up: Empathy Inc.Cargo, The Little Stranger
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Pantys 2018 - Actor to Actor #3

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Among many things we're doing this week as part of our "Golden Trousers" awards we're taking a look at our 20 favorite performances of 2018 -- how we're doing this is we randomly selected ten pairs of names from our list and then we're imagining a moment between the two characters chosen. Ten times. You can see our previous ones here but for now here's our third random pairing from our 2018 faves...

Jeanette Brinson (Carey Mulligan) in Wildlife meets
Dovid Kuperman (Alessandro Nivola) in Disobedience

Jeanette: So are you married?
Dovid: I am. My Esti... it is complicated. 
Jeanette: Mmm, same. Complicated like complicated! 
My complications have complications! Sometimes 
you just have to make room for them, like an 
empty chair in between. Can I get an amen, rabbi?
Dovid: I am not the rabbi. 
Jeanette: Oh. My apologies, Father. 
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Five Frames From ?

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What movie is this?
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Good Morning, Great Gratuity #5

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Aaron Altaras, as the closeted soccer player Leon who becomes first a roommate and then a fuck-buddy and then maybe more to Mario (Max Hubacher) in last year's sad romance slash sports-film Mario, was one of those pops off the screen discoveries...
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... so let's hope that he keeps up this acting thing. Terrifyingly his IMDb page has nothing listed as coming up, but IMDb isn't great about listing upcoming projects for foreign actors half the time so here's to hoping Aaron is plenty busy coming to a screen near us. See plenty more of him right here, and read our review of this movie here. Oh and in summation GOOD GRIEF:


Tuesday, February 19, 2019

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you canlearn from:

Seconds (1966)

Nora: What kind of man is he? There's grace in the
line and color, but it doesn't emerge pure. It pushes at
the edge of something still tentative, unresolved - as if
somewhere in the man there is still a key unturned.
Tony: That's quite an analysis.
Nora: Not really. When you come to think of it --
it sort of fits everybody, doesn't it?

Director John Frankenheimer was born this day, 1930.
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Pantys 2018 - Actor to Actor #2

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Among many things we're doing this week as part of our "Golden Trousers" awards we're taking a look at our 20 favorite performances of 2018 -- how we're doing this is we randomly selected ten pairs of names from our list and then we're imagining a moment between the two characters chosen. Ten times. You can see our previous ones here but for now here's our second random pairing from our 2018 faves...

Joe (Joaquin Phoenix) in You Were Never Really Here
meets Lydia (Gina Gershon) in Permission

Lydia: You seem tense.
Joe: I am tense.
Lydia: I have a guy for that.
Joe: A guy?
Lydia: Yeah a guy.
Joe: What kind of guy?
Lydia: Just a guy.
Joe: I'm a guy. 
Lydia: Huh. TBD, big boy.
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Colin Heads North

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I read through most of today's Colin Farrell news with one strand of enthusiasm -- that it will star Colin Farrell -- until I got to the very end of the news, when we saw who he's working with and our enthusiasm squared itself off towards infinity. Colin is going to star in the BBC's upcoming four-part adaptation of the book The North Water by Ian McGuire, which is about a pair of ne'er-do-wells who're escaping their pasts via a whaling expedition in the 1850s when all goes very wrong. Colin will play "Henry Drax, an amoral brutish killer and harpooner," while the other role (a doctor) hasn't been cast yet. Anyway the choice bit taking this from choice to super-choice is the miniseries will be directed by Andrew Haigh, he of Weekend and Looking and Lean on Pete and 45 Years. That is the sweet stuff! Anybody read the book? Who should they cast opposite Colin?
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Lucas Hedges Thirteen Times

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Lucas Hedges is showing some skin in this month's GQ, which has him on the cover and interviewed and also in a fairly substantial allotment of candy-colored photographs within. Fashion editorials are making me feel so old these days since they're favoring the same color schemes I grew up staring at -- everything's so early 90s right now I keep thinking I should dig out my Junior High overalls (with the one strap off the shoulder) look and nobody needs that shit! Speaking of hit the jump for the rest of this shoot...

Great Gratuity of 2018 #4

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While I have some issues with Bad Times at the El Royale overall there are too many good things in its "good things" column to dismiss it -- Cynthia Erivo's terrific performance most of all, but coming in at second through ninth places is each of Chris Hemsworth's abs... although I might be under-counting? I get a little dizzy and lose track once we start getting real low and I just have to keep starting over again and again. It's the gay version of Sisyphus. Sissy-fuss, I guess? Don't make a Sissy-fuss! On that note see more here.


Which is Hotter?

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online surveys
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I hadn't planned on posting Calvin Klein's new underwear campaign when I first saw it and it was just Shawn Mendes (as I find him pretty but irredeemably boring). But then they added Noah Centineo to the mix and y'all know we don't find Noah boring and so here we are. I do wish they would've shot the boys together though -- now that woulda been a real something...
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Til Touch Down Brings Me Round Again

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Hey everybody! Popping my head out from plowing through this year's Pantys to grab some air, which in this case is taking the form of Taron Egeron's sweet and enthusiastically centralized tukis on the brand-new Rocketman poster. Somebody will have to remind me if Elton John himself was ever that, uh, gifted. But speaking of "gifted" Rocketman is also assuaging our fears about Taron's singing abilities with a new featurette showing off that he can indeed sing them songs himself. Unlike some people, cough Rami cough. Rocketman is out on May 11th.
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