The Critics, We Choiced

This marks my second year voting as a member of the Critics Choice Association and I long ago made peace -- well before I even became a member -- with the fact that my weird personal picks would end up falling through the cracks of a general consensus and not get much representation in the final tallies. It's just par for the course with this type of thing. That's what I have my personal awards for, and uhhh hopefully some time I'll get to those. But today what I have to share with you are the Critics Choice nominations! And there are a few things I voted for up in here -- you can be sure that any nominations for Hard Truths, Nosferatu, The Substance, the two Guadagninos were among my votes -- and that makes me happy. I will glom my hopes onto them. Oh and as a sidenote -- I am planning on going to Los Angeles for the ceremony this year! So stay tuned for coverage from that! Exciting star-fuckery ahead! Okay now let's hit the jump and see the entire list of nominations...

Like Sandworms Through the Hourglass

If you're excited about the imminent release of Denis Villenueve's Dune sequel, smartly titled Dune 2, then perhaps you might get it inside yourself a whisper sooner with a pre-order of cinematographer Greig Fraser's resplendant photography book Dune: Exposures, which collects his set photos into a grand hardcover edition that hits stands on Valentine's Day aka Wednesday of next week. Stick it in your loved one's chocolate box! (Ewww, that sentence was too far, Jason.) That's two whole weeks before the movie hits theaters so you can just press your face against the pictures of Timmy's windswept hair and toss some sand in your face and it'll be like you're right there! Pre-order your book right here. Me, I'm seeing Dune 2 in six days! So stay tuned for my opinion... as if you wouldn't. You don't do anything unless I say so, dammit! 

Photograph Me Like One of Your Caladan Boys

What looks like a gorgeous book of set-photography from the set of Denis Villenueve's Dune movie, all taken by the photographer Chiabella James, has been released unto the world this very day -- you can buy it at this link. Seeing these two photos of Oscar Isaac lounging around in the (presumed) nude (since that's what his character was during this scene) were enough for me to clickity clack on that buy button, and perhaps they will be for you as well. I'm sure there's other gorgeousness to behold from that set, given the luxurious sets and costumes and locations that that sucker shot on. But Oscar's enough for me. 

ETA I stumbled on three more photos of Oscar in the book

and uhh they clearly must be shared.

Hit the jump for them all...

The Father, The Son, and the Holy Gyllenhaal

These here are obviously ancient photos of Jake Gyllenhaal (from 2001 to be precise) but they'll have to do because we done used up every photo ever taken of him at this point, and also this news itself is ancient news, getting an update. In 2016 I first told you that Jake was going to star in an HBO miniseries adaptation of Jo Nesbø's book The Son for his Prisoners and Enemy director Denis Villenueve. And then in 2020 I updated that news, saying ta-dah, twas on the calendar again. Well perhaps this will be lucky post number three and it will actually happen this time, because it's being reported that Villenueve is planning on shooting the damned thing finally, really for real they say, this very fall (thx Mac).

Of course with Villenueve's sequel to Dune coming out in November I have to admit I have no idea where he'd find the time -- especially now that there's word that Dune 2 is a middle-chapter and there will be a third movie. But perhaps ol' Denis really needs to wedge in a Dune-break for himself, and for that I wouldn't blame him. I guess we'll see. I don't know how you shoot an entire miniseries in like, two weeks -- one imagines it would take some time, and it seems like he will have a lot of responsibility selling Part 2 globally and such over this fall. Whatever. I got to post these pictures of Jake. We all win. All that said it also feels like Jake might be too old for the lead role in this book, which is about "a promising wrestler" who tries to unravel a mystery surrounding his father's suicide. Maybe Jake will play the father now? Cue Daddy commentary.

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

Incendies (2010)

Notary Jean Lebel: Will of Mrs. Nawal Marwan... To Notary Jean Lebel: Bury me with no casket, no prayers, naked, face down, away from the world. Stone and epitaph. I want no gravestone, nor my name engraved anywhere. No epitaph for those who don't keep their promises. To Jeanne and Simon: Childhood is a knife stuck in your throat. It can't be easily removed. Jeanne, Mr Lebel will give you an envelope. The envelope is for your father. Find him, and give it to him. Simon, the notary will give you an envelope... The envelope is for your brother. Find him, and give him the envelope. When the envelopes have been delivered you will be given a letter. The silence will be broken, a promise kept, and you can place a stone on my grave and on it engrave my name in the sun.

A happy 55th birthday to the great Quebecois director Denis Villeneuve today! Part of me is sad that we've lost at least half a decade of movies from Denis in exchange for the Dune films, but I did like Dune a lot so "lost" isn't exactly on point. I'd prefer more movies like Enemy from him -- dozens of weird little Enemys! But he might be the man making the most interesting blockbusters right now and the Dune world certainly allows him the opportunity to channel some of that Enemy weirdness into it. So we'll allow it!

Anyway I've still never seen Incendies -- it's been on my list for ges and ages. Well since Enemy I suppose. I love one part of the quoted passage a whole lot though -- "Childhood is a knife stuck in your throat. It can't be easily removed." Indeed.

Good For The Gays Again

As you might know yours truly is a member of the film critics group called GALECA, which gathers up a bunch of us LGTBQ critics so we can be all queer over movies together, like we do. It's what we live for! Anyway our annual awards, called The Dorians, were announced this week, and you know what? Gay people got taste. I wouldn't say that in all circumstances -- we have seem to have wrought those awful Housewives programs, after all -- but here, in these circumstances, we have proven it this one way. We gave our big awards to Jane Campion's The Power of the Dog (also my personal favorite film of 2021), to Flee, to the fuck-yeah performances of Kristen Stewart in Spencer (and I am aware that that one's proven divisive...

... but I am way firm in the pro camp and I'm incredibly happy we recognized her for the work number one, but she's also queer herself so, you know, gays supporting gays yo!) and Ariana DeBose in West Side Story (also one of our queer compatriots!) -- we showed taste, baby. Add on to that we gave two count them TWO big awards to Pedro Almodovar and I have no notes. No notes. These weren't all my votes (I am a sad for Kodi Smit-McPhee and Jonny Greenwood and my baby Luca) but I am not angry at any of the winners. Not even House of Gucci winning for "Campiest Film" -- I hate that movie, truly, but that prize makes perfect sense. Hit the jump for the full press release...

Big Dune Energy, Take II

Alright well I'm off to see Dune a second time -- I saw it at NYFF and dug it and I haven't watched it on HBO Max since because I was hoping to see it on a big screen one more time, since it's so clearly a movie that demands (or at least rewards) that experience. And I also didn't want to see it at a public screening because I'm still wary of those (you know -- the pandemic or whatever). So I got me a guild screening! Even better I got me a guild screening tonight that's got Denis Villenueve & Oscar Isaac there for a Q&A! So maybe pay attention to my Twitter and my Instagram tonight, as I'm sure I'll post something about all that. And hey maybe Denis will whip out Oscar's cock-sock again...

The moment Denis revealed that he had Oscar’s final outfit from @dunemovie in his pocket (spoiler alert- It’s a cock sock)! pic.twitter.com/1V3BW1hyXz

— Rajendra Roy (@rajroynyc) November 16, 2021

An Oscar-less Future

While I think it's bull-crap -- I know, such harsh language! -- that Denis Villenueve & Co didn't shoot the two parts of Dune back to back, I'm still excited to see that they are kicking into gear on the sequel so fast with today's word that the second film will begin filming in July. At this rate we'll have the second one by... 2024 or something? They say October 2023 but I think they're underestimating reality, which -- as the past year and a half has taught us if we didn't know already -- has endless ways of tossing wrenches into the works. Anyway I look forward to seeing it... right now. We'll see how I feel in two plus years (if I feel anything) (that is to say "If we're not all dead.") (Optimism, ho!) And, in summation, this has all been brought to you by any excuse to post that photo of Oscar Isaac, even though he probably won't (spoiler alert) be in the second film. The end.

Good Morning, World

Oscar Isaac's wife was kind enough to share that photo of her perfect husband napping yesterday, and what better way to greet Dune Day than by sharing that with y'all -- yup Denis Villenueve's forever-delayed part one of Frank Herbert's book is finally finally finally out in US theaters now! I saw it at NYFF a few weeks back and I didn't review it then and I am probably not going to review it now, but I did write the following tweet and I think it sums up my feelings fairly succinctly. (You should go see it, on a really big screen if that is a safe thing for you to do -- it's grand.)

DUNE is tremendous. Space Cenobites, Glitter Storms, Hairdos, Spit Fetish Parties, Oscar Isaac Side Butt, A Desert Smize Fashion Show, Lots of Loud BRAMMMM Sounds, Charlotte Rampling Torturing A Twink, and as promised more Vibrating Buttholes than you can shake a Timmy at #nyff59

— My New Dead Pants (@JAMNPP) October 7, 2021

Quote of the Day

"Streaming can produce great content, but not movies of Dune’s scope and scale. Warner Bros. Pictures’ decision means ‘Dune’ won’t have the chance to perform financially in order to be viable and piracy will ultimately triumph. Warner Bros. might just have killed the ‘Dune’ franchise. This one is for the fans. AT&T’s John Stankey said that the streaming horse left the barn. In truth, the horse left the barn for the slaughterhouse.”

-- Somehow I missed this yesterday but in Variety Dune director Denis Villenueve wrote a scathing screed about Warner Brothers' decision to dump their entire 2021 slate, his sci-fi epic included, onto HBO Max next year; if you missed it too the entire thing's right here. This is business-end of the movie-business stuff which I'm never super into talking about, but I suppose "the medium's future" is somewhat important, haha. And Villenueve says things that were less doom-and-gloom than the above quote -- he does a much better job of not coming off like Christopher Nolan, who pushed his terrible movie out into theaters smack-dab in the middle of a pandemic, for instance, by saying he was totally cool with the film being delayed until next fall. And the quote below is one filled with hope, and something I also truly believe:

“Once the pandemic is over, theaters will be filled again with film lovers.

That is my strong belief. Not because the movie industry needs it, but because we humans need cinema, as a collective experience.” pic.twitter.com/s6HZ1vN8rS

— Matt Neglia (@NextBestPicture) December 11, 2020

Quote of the Damn Day

Just once let Jake Gyllenhaal look at me like he's looking at Denis Villenueve there and I can hari-kari myself into happy nothingness right then. That's all I need. It's like that song "Just One Look" only with my intestines falling out at the end. Anyway news comes today via IndieWire's podcast that Jake and his Enemy / Prisoners director are talking about re-teaming up, a third time, once all this Dune brouhaha has died down anyway. I don't have the exact quote because I'm not listening to a whole damn podcast right now and they weren't decent enough to quote him at that link, but whatever he said it's today's Quote of the Damn Day, whatever it was. Well unless he said, "Denis and me are gonna work together but first I have to make sure that Jason Adams dies sad and poor," but I feel like somebody would have let me know if he said all that by now. On that note I feel as if I should re-watch Prisoners? I was never as enamored with it as I was with Enemy, their other collaboration, but perhaps I will be now? 

Like Sandworms Through the Hour Glass...

As foreseen by the desert-swept oracles of PR releases, and after some sort of lengthy Twitter chat introduction (of which I didn't watch a wink), the trailer for Dune was finally dropped this afternoon, and I've got it for you deep down below. If you haven't already watched it before coming here that is which, uhh, I doubt. So what do I, me personally, have to offer to the Dune conversation? Is it only butthole jokes? I think it's only butthole jokes.

I have seen some buttholes in my days and that, my friends, is a butthole

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) September 9, 2020

In all seriousness I don't know how David Lynch managed to not make me think of buttholes with his sandworm design but I admit I never once did -- this time around, notsomuch. It's fine! We all have buttholes, and they have more than earned their representation in our art and in this world. 

You probably won't believe me when I say this but I promise you -- I have never said the word "butthole" more times in such a short span of time then I just did. Really! Moving on (or are we)...

... the trailer is epic and gorgeous and everything we've been expecting a Denis Villenueve take with this epic and gorgeous cast to be, and I'm not even only talking about Oscar Isaac's beard. Now you watch it for your damn self and see! 

Oh and how I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments if you feel like sharing them. Dune is out in theaters on December 18th. And I grabbed a few more images and I made a couple more gifs just cuz and they're after the jump...

 

Pics of the Today

Two more images from Denis Villenueve's Dune popped up online this morning, following the batch I shared yesterday, and like those ones these ones are official! No trailer snaps here! You can leave me alone now, Warner Brothers! Eesh. Anyway above you see Oscar Isaac and Oscar Isaac's beards, the one on his face and Rebecca Ferguson. I don't know what I mean by that except make love to me, Oscar Isaac. And down below is Javier Bardem, who can also make love to me and/or Oscar Isaac. I would say this all took a weird turn but who am I kidding? This is the same nonsense I type every day.

Piping Hot Dune News

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One, Timmy was spotted by a fan a couple of days ago making a surgical mask look hella good in Budapest, where it's assumed he's filming some pick-up stuff for Denis Villenueve's Dune movie. Two...

trailer before sept. 🤐

— Timothée Chalamet (@RealChalamet) August 7, 2020

... Timmy says we'll be getting our very first trailer for the flick in the next three weeks! Most people assume it'll be attached to Tenet whenever Tenet drops -- now that Tenet is staggering its worldwide release staring on August 26th overseas I guess that timing makes sense. The US, and only some of the country -- nowhere near me, as far as I'm aware! -- isn't getting Nolan's movie until September 3rd. (And I say "as far as I'm aware" because the only thing that interests me about Tenet is the Dune trailer.)

Quote of the Day

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"I met Timothée and we both agreed spontaneously that we would work together. It was not difficult to convince Timothée... I chose Timothée for several reasons. First of all, he is a phenomenal actor. He is someone that has a lot of depth, someone that is very mature for his age because Paul Atreides is an old soul in a young body, and Timothée has that. […] Also, he has features that remind me of old school Hollywood stars. He’s a real movie star. He has that insane charisma. Insane charisma. You put Timothée in front of a camera and it’s just an explosion.”

-- That's director Denis Villeneuve talking about casting Timmy in his new Dune movie via Collider (thx Mac), where they've also got quotes from him on why he chose Jason Momoa, Oscar Isaac, and Josh Brolin for their respective roles. I mean all that's swell and true and all but it's an awful lot of words when "I wanted to be surrounded by all this hot man ass" would've sufficed. Or maybe I'm projecting? Anyway that would be my reason for putting Timothée Chalamet, Oscar Isaac, Josh Brolin and Jason Momoa (not to mention Dave Bautista and Javier Bardem and Chen Chang) in my movie, and it's as good a reason as most. Better even!

"Would you look at that body language? Legs crossed towards each other. That is an unequivocal sex invite."

Aaaaanyway in related news did y'all see the photos that Jason Momoa posted on Instagram being a dirty muddy piggy-bottom? I feel as if I should share them (even if my description of them might be admittedly a bit much) so I will after the jump...

Dune Dune Dune (To The Tune of Dun dun DUN)

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Hey look we've got a brand new picture of one Mister Timothee Chalamet in Mister Denis Villenueve's forthcoming motion picture Dune! It's the second one this week (see the other one here) and it's coming to us via the website Nerdist (click to embiggen; thanks Mac). This one has less Josh Brolin bulge but a closer view of Timmy's luscious locks, so it's a draw, probably. The bigger nerds among you will want to note the glowy-knuckled future-tech on Timmy's right hand where he's clutching the dagger -- it's called science! I hope he takes that thing off when he molests fruits, anyway. And, scene.

Pic of the Day

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We've got a new shot from Denis Villenueve's Dune via Empire, and it's got some action to it -- Josh Brolin (who plays Gurney Halleck, the so-called "Warmaster") is seen grabbing our Timmy boy by the hand as they dangle out the loading dock of a maybe in-flight air-machine of some sort. Look at Timmy's hair blowing in the wind! That's a special effect of its own. See the previously released first batch of photos over here.
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Pics of the Day

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As promised yesterday with our first look at Timothee Chalamet in Denis Villenueve's Dune adaptation here are our second third and forth et cetera looks, also via Vanity Fair. Click over to VF for the accompanying text, all the blah blah and yadda yadda you could ever want, as well as a few more photos, as I just snatched copies of the ones that are of people I give a shit about. Like Timmy, and...

... like Oscar Isaac with a beard, standing with his best chunky side towards us. Don't think I don't notice what you're doing there, Oscar Isaac. Anyway I have to admit these images are far less saturated and strange than I was anticipating the film would look, given Villenueve's Blade Runner look and, well I guess I still had David Lynch's film, for all its problems, in mind. These look closer to the TV version? We'll see, it's still early, the movie's not out until December. Hit the jump for a couple more...

Dune First Peek

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Today Vanity Fair has shared this, our very first look at our twink wunderkind Timothee Chalamet in Denis Villenueve's adaptation of Dune. There will be lots more tomorrow they say, but appropriately perhaps on this very rainy morning here in NYC, they give us this somber gray image to hold us until then. 

The piece alongside this photo at VF explains this is Paul Atreides (Chalamet) still on his watery home planet of Caladan -- those things that look like newspapers blowing around in the breeze in the background are actually transportation spaceships that will carry him away from home and take him to Arrakis, the desert-world that we all think of when we think of Dune.

A closer look at Timmy's outfit -- I like the look, although I feel as if this image, set so early in the story, isn't giving us a full picture of what Villenueve & Co will have in store and we should not get too attached to what we are seeing. Tomorrow's second part of VF's preview of the movie will really set tone for our expectations on the tale. Anyway they say the movie is still coming out on December 18th, so that's good. But now we just wait for tomorrow, which we've gotten real good at over the past month...
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Happy Timmy Time

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There's been enough Timothée Chalamet news this week since I told you he's presenting at this year's Oscar ceremony on Tuesday to justify another post, I think -- it'd be even better if I had a new photo-shoot of him to go along with all of the words but we'll make due with what we can scrounge up. And revisiting Timmy's sparkle harness is always welcome. 

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WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO US TIMMY pic.twitter.com/3fF5mQjmPx

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) January 30, 2020

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Anyway on to the news! A logo for Denis Villenueve's Dune movie, which is out in December, was photographed at some movie studio event thing a couple of days ago and made the rounds on social media, although the studio kept erasing the image off the web so I never bothered posting it. But there's a doctored version of it, replicating it pretty close, at this link. Original Kwisatz Haderach Kyle Maclachlan had good things to say about Timmy, also at that link. Next up is word on Chalamet's other big 2020 project...

... it turns out that Wes Anderson's French Dispatch movie is actually titled The French Dispatch of the Liberty Evening Sun (although none of us are gonna be typing all of that) and will be out on July 24th. You can see the big names of the cast listed above -- it's quite the troupe. Oh and it got Rated R for ""Graphic Nudity" which is, you know, a surprise. I can't wait to see how perfectly framed and arranged all of the genitals are by Wes Anderson. Anyway it sounds like it's going to be a set of small stories smashed together:

"[The film] brings to life a collection of stories from the final issue of an American magazine published in a fictional 20th-century French city.”"

Obviously we don't know if that means it will be a series of unconnected vingettes a la the Coens' recent film The Ballad of Buster Scruggs, of if this "collection of stories" will be interwoven across one long-form narrative, or what. We don't know! It doesn't matter! Just put July 24 on your calendars, hike up your pants, and get yourself to the theater on that date, mkay?