I Said Shorts, Colin Said How Short

My terrifying powers of substantiation seem to have reached their pinnacle, as I have spoken things into existence not just once but twice today -- I talked about Juliette Binoche & Ralph Fiennes making a movie together and voila, they are making a movie together! And this morning I yelled at Colin Farrell for going two weeks without getting photographed in his iconic short-shorts, and here we go! (via) Okay these ones are a little longer than normal, so I don't know if they qualify as "short shorts" but I will take them in lieu of nothing. The colorful socks -- and those calves, as ever those gorgeous rock-hard calves, Colin clearly never skips Leg Day -- make up for that extra inch or two of length. (That's what he said.) So our thanks to Colin for listening to my extra-subliminal commands! I promise to only use my power for good (or what I deem "good" anyway). Hit the jump for the photos...

Colin Forth Farrell

Yes it turns out this was exactly what I needed this afternoon for a goose, energy-wise -- Colin Farrell bustin' out his short-shorts! Only call me crazy, but -- have his shorts grown an inch or two? When I think "Colin Farrell and short-shorts" that's not what I want to grow! I know that he's so spoiled us in the past so I don't want to look a gift-hem in the eye but by the standards Colin has previously set these are practically Victorian. Is there a cold wave slamming across California? Should I FedEx him some Snuggies? Do they make short-short Snuggies? They should. Somebody get me Snuggies HQ on the hone. The rest of you hit the jump for the rest...

The Purple Pose of Colin Farrell

Oh, today was a good day. Not only did I just get my phone working again -- I documented this saga for absolutely no one to care about on Twitter, but the gist is I thought I'd lost five months worth of photos because I'd been lazy about back things up, but I managed to recover it all just now through apparent random luck -- and not only did I manage to pound out a half decent review for a movie I didn't think I had much of anything to say about (more on that in a minute), but to top it all off (and hey Colin that phrasing was on purpose, to give you an idea) Colin Farrell broke out another pair of his short shorts...

... ripped off his top, and went for a run in Los Angeles again. (via, thx Mac) A most blessed Monday! If you've missed Colin's previous public forays into this gorgeously gratuitous self-exploitation scan on back through our archives -- we are actually fortunate enough in these happenings' oft-nature that there are too many for me to link to individually! Amazing! He does this all the damned time, because he loves us, and he only wants good things for us. We love you back (front, every side), Colin! (In related actual news -- very cool to hear that he's getting a spin-off series from The Batman, with his Penguin character on HBO Max!)  Hit the jump for several dozen more purple short-shorts photos...

More Like The Leg Man

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Well here's a nice treat come to clear our minds of Colin Farrell buried under all of those Penguin prosthetics in The Batman trailer -- Colin spotted out and about in some teensy teeny running shorts! Yes that's him under the mask -- I'd know those knees anywhere. Not really sure what's happening here -- he can't actually be jogging in those boots, right? Anyway who cares, it's Colin Farrell in short shorts and a sleeveless tee, I'm sold. Hit the jump for just under a dozen more...

Why Not Take a Colin Farrell Short-Shorts Break

These snaps of Colin Farrell, the pandemic's best dressed, are a couple of weeks old now -- I was too busy and couch-bound for Sundance to post them when I first saw them. (I did tweet them though, natch.) But not having them posted proper-like here on the site, as part of our ongoing "Colin Farrell rocking short-shorts" collection, would nag me unto my grave. So here, as a lunchtime snack, I gift thee. Hit the jump for them (with a few bonus snaps of Colin in sweatpants at the bottom just cuz)...

Colin Farrell's Short Shorts Return!

While it's tempting to insert the "It's been 84 years..." meme from Titanic here, it's actually been 1056 days (yes I did the math) since the last time Colin Farrell was photographed wearing short shorts. That's far far too long, Colin! But this is a good sign. Hopefully 2025 will end up being another summer like 2021 was -- man those were the days. If you'd like to re-live them scroll through this link. 

Good Morning, World

I was so taken aback by Colin Farrell not wearing his patented short-shorts in these new photos from Saturday (via) that my first thought was to ask if it was atypically freezing in Los Angeles this weekend -- only a second later did I realize he was shirtless and that question made no sense. That's how used to The Colin Farrell Short Short Experience that I have gotten -- I carelessly dismissed his upper half! "Used to" is a nice way of putting it -- "spoiled" is more like it, and I need to work on that because one man cannot be a Short Shorts Army. Colin's led the way and been the bravest of them all, but it's up to the other dudes of Hollywood to pick up their hems and join the fight. Come on, Chris Evans! We want you, Idris Elba!

Which Is Hotter?

After the year we've had together -- me and Colin Farrell, that is -- I'd be violently remiss not to wish Colin the happiest of birthdays today! He's turning 46 -- one year for every pair of short-shorts he's worn over the course of this pandemic in order to help keep us a little bit more sane. It hasn't really worked, at least not that way, but we pray he keeps trying! I don't know about you guys but those shorts of his have really been the highlight of the plague for me. Anyway with today's other news that A24 is putting out another one of their fancy books this time for Colin's 2015 masterpiece The Lobster from director Yorgos Lanthimos, this seems like a fun moment to poll the following question re: their two collabs...

online polls

Today's Fanboy Delusion

 Today I'd rather be...

... reaching out ad touching Colin Farrell.

Because I'm always making hip with the timely references, "reach out and touch someone" was an advertising campaign for AT&T that started in like the 1970s I think, and ran for a long time -- long enough that the phrase is a part of my own personal vernacular, but maybe you younger types needed an explainer? Anyway I am using it in reference to the fact that Colin Farrell's cell-phone appears to be stuffed into the crotch of his short-shorts; I imagine those little things have one of those "liner pockets" and it's in there, but it's giving him a lot of up-front baggage, if you catch my drift.

Anyway thanks to everyone who alerted me over my long weekend to the fact that Colin busted out his itty-bitties again (see all the previous entires in this wonderful development here) for a walk in the sunshine with the paps -- I caught these when they hit on Friday (via) and had every intention of sharing them today, as another Monday brightener from this blessed boy-man. And here we are! I should mention briefly...

... that Colin's company for this jaunt was his The New World co-star actress Q’Orianka Kilcher, who couldn't keep her eyes off the prize either -- I just saw Kilcher for the first time in awhile acting opposite Channing Tatum in Dog about a month ago, so I feel like she is making excellent choices right now. Keep it up, Q’Orianka! These two would make a really hot couple btw, and I am rooting for that. The New World was Malick's last great film -- and yes that means I do not like The Tree of Life -- and them together would make me happy! Now let's hit the jump for three dozen more snaps...

Quote of the Day

"I’ve got a pretty extensive short shorts wardrobe."

We are so blessed that Paul Mescal knows that (beside his great acting talent) his legs are his greatest asset -- he chatted with his Lost Daughter co-star Dakota Johnson for Interview Magazine and apparently the chat happened on Zoom while he was wearing the short-shorts seen in the above photo (I wish we could see them better!) so the subject came up and he gave the above quote and, as Dakota replies, "We know, Paul."

We know because he's been so good about wearing them in public since Day One! In fact I'd say that Paul was even more of a tastemaker when it came to Short Shorts Renaissance than Colin Farrell was. Remember this moment??? I sure do. Anyway short-shorts aside the chat between Paul & Dakota is charming if scattered so check it out, and I've got the rest of the photo-shoot (which is otherwise short-short-less, I feel cheated) here after the jump...

Colin Makes Us Lemonade

When the world hands us lemons -- and let's be real, the streets are flooded with fucking bitter-ass lemons these days -- at least I know I can go look to see if Colin Farrell has been spotted running around Los Angeles in his now iconic shorts and know that the answer will nine times out of nine-and-a-half times be a commanding yes-sir-ree-bob, baby. So excuse me, and join me, as I take a brief break from all the bullshit to stop and sniff the Colin Farrell photos. Lots and lots more here, all of them sniffable, after the jump...

Good Morning, World

It's a big week for those of us who count ourselves amongst the Colin Farrell Obsessives, as he's got a villain role in the big superhero movie out on Friday (that would be The Batman, which I reviewed right here )and he's also got an arthouse flick in which he gives one of his most lovely and understated performances (that would be After Yang, which I shared the trailer for here) and which is hitting Showtime. If it was up to me I'd be putting After Yang in a gazillion theaters and The Batman online for streaming because quality-wise that's what the films deserve, but that's why I don't run Hollywood, as my taste would run it into the ground in less than a week. And on the subject of taste these gifs here are via the execrable 2012 remake of Total Recall, which should be remembered only for the shots of Colin in just gray sweatpants and only for that alone. Boo to this otherwise travesty of a flick. Oh and one other thing -- did you see Colin talking on a talk show earlier this week about his widely celebrated dalliances with short shorts? He said his 12-year-old son finds them embarrassing, and I get it, kid, but also shut the hell up it's not for you!!!

Good Morning, World

In lieu of Colin Farrell going for a jog in his short-shorts -- it's been two damn weeks, Colin, why are you denying us??? -- I have a behind-the-scenes video of his truly outrageous (and blessedly shirtless) make-up transformation into the Penguin for that dumb Batman movie that he was the only good thing about. And even though he was the best thing about it I still don't really understand why he got the role and not an older character actor who actually looked the part -- they exist, there are lots of them! Whatever, at least he was good, I shouldn't complain (more).

Now This is a Good Friday I Can Get Behind

If I prayed I would pray every night for Colin Farrell to be spotted every day jogging in his now iconic short shorts, so in this way you can say my prayers have yet again been answered -- for the hundredth time this year he's gone above and beyond the call of booty excuse me duty and graced us with this very special wonder. You can scan back though our Colin Farrell Archives for many such examples -- having been sick for over a week now let me sing it straight, this is the true chicken soup for my soul! Hit the jump for several more...

Good Morning, NYFF

Happy Monday, one and one all. This is a thing I should have heads-upped y'all about last week but me being me I was too busy I don't know googling Colin Farrell in shorts shorts probably -- press screenings for the New York Film Festival begin this morning. So I'm gonna be there off and on -- sporadically, some might say -- for the next couple of weeks. Posting will indeed be erratic, but I'll try to keep you abreast. Today I'll be seeing the lovely and amazing Vicky Krieps there in a movie called Corsage, and later on I'm seeing Claire Denis' new one Stars at Noon that stars Margaret Qualley and Joe Alwyn. Good first day, looks like! But I'll be around here blogging probably this afternoon, in between. So until then!

Pics of the Day

It felt like it had been awhile since we've been blessed with a "Colin Farrell in short shorts" sighting when I saw these new snaps today (via, thx Mac) so I checked the archives and indeed, it's been since February -- odd that this only happens in the colder months, right? Then again he lives in Los Angeles, and weather there confounds me. Anyway I miss the shorts being combined with a sexy face-mask but there are, you know... things... that are making up for it. (I recommend you click each one of these photos to embiggen.) And hit the jump for the entire bulging lot of 'em...

Good Morning, World

Lord almighty! Thanks to our pal Kayleigh on Twitter for sharing this 1995 photo of Daniel Day-Lewis in Vanity Fair magazine, which had never before graced these eyes of mine, but which has now permanently etched itself upon this brain. Those are some short-shorts that make Colin Farrell look like a goddamned prude! God I hope DDL hasn't really retired for good. I miss him a whole lot. 

Pics of the Day

The single best thing about the pandemic (and lord knows there's a lot of competition for that title) has been the discovery of our new favorite fetish, hot guys in masks. I guess "discovery" isn't the right word because I don't know that masks would be so hot without the thing they represent, which is 'I am a good-hearted human being who cares about my fellow man." So I guess they represent the "creation" of a new fetish, one I wouldn't have had without the dire context. Anyway whatever the circumstances Colin Farrell's made another bid for his rightful throne as King of the Sexy Mask-Wearers (after Orlando Bloom gunned pretty hard for it) this week by making another public outing in the mask short-shorts combo that originally bestowed him his crown back in August. 

And he's stepped up his game even further by shaving his head, thereby reminding us of his Daredevil-era sex-tape -- all hail the King! What do we think he actually shaved his head for, y'all? I guess it could be his role as the Penguin in the next Batman movie, which is listed as still filming on IMDb, but in the footage from that that we've already seen he did have hair. Not that the character couldn't have a bald reveal! Let's hope he goes full Kimberly-on-Melrose and yanks off his wig at a dramatic moment. (Seriously, say a prayer that that happens.) I'm kind of hoping it's for his next flick though, his re-team with the In Bruges guys (writer Martin McDonagh and actor Brendan Gleeson) though, because then he can be bald and hot at once, which Penguin probably won't afford. Anyway we'll see eventually, I guess -- for right now let's just fix our eyeballs on this fine series of photos today, after the jump...

Future Gay Boys & Mothering Sundays

Don't get too excited, I think that photo is faked. But it's a good reminder of the recent in-itself exciting news that Josh O'Connor and Paul Mescal are going to make a gay romance movie for us, and I'll take any reminder of that, any day, any hour, any second! (And anyway -- Josh in those shorts! Phew!) And having that to post is a good gratuitous segue to lead me into my real reason for being here -- the trailer for Josh's new movie Mothering Sunday was released today, and I have that below.

I saw Mothering Sunday at TIFF and reviewed it right here -- it stars Odessa Young (so good in Shirley last year) as a maid who's having a torrid affair with the fancy-man son of a neighbor's house (O'Connor) not long after WWI; the movie also stars Olivia Colman (who has one scene where she grabs your heart and smashes it onto the floor in a billion different pieces) and Colin Firth. It's worth seeing, and that's even before we get into how very very very naked Josh is for a bunch of it. Weirdly the trailer doesn't use that as a selling point -- they really should let me cut these trailers; I'd get butts in seats! Butts for butts! 

Mothering Sunday is playing one week in L.A. on November 17th

and then gets a proper drop come February 25th of next year.

Thursday's Ways Not To Die

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Aerobicide (1987)

This movie's also known as Killer Workout, which isn't a bad title at all but the word "AEROBICIDE" is clearly everything human creativity had been building towards so we'll stick with that one. Anyway if you'd ever wondered whether Final Destination 3 was the first movie to fry somebody up in a tanning bed, now you've got your answer.

I'd been wanting to see Aerobicide for a very long time thanks to Stacie Ponder's cheerleading for the film over at Final Girl, but it was only recently given a proper release - very proper, a fancy blu-ray and everything. We are doing some things right.

Because Aerobicide lives up to the hype! It's ten thousand kinds of terrible slash awesome.The murders happen with a gigantic baby-pin! The camera leers at the sweaty lycra so long you want to spray bleach in your eyes! The folks who created the SNL classic skit "Body Fuzion" had CLEARLY seen this movie. But for all its lady-leering it's also somehow terribly...

... homo-erotic for big portions? There are fight scenes between the men in the film that go on FOREVER and involve all kinds of rolling around in the world's tiniest gym shorts.

He spends just a little too long bent over that car, ya know? Anyway I don't want to ruin all of Aerobicide's magic tricks for you - they are best discovered on your own, with a very large alcoholic beverage and perhaps a fistful of the quaaludes that the actors were clearly all downing. In summation I will leave you with this astonishing fifteen seconds of footage that I posted on Instagram the other night (and hit the jump for links to the Previous Ways Not To Die)...
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OH MY GOD THIS MOOOOOOOOVIE #KILLERWORKOUT #AEROBICIDE

A video posted by Jason Adams (@jasonaadams) on Feb 23, 2016 at 6:54pm PST