Friday, February 28, 2020

See What, See Who

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So what's out in theaters this weekend, you ask? Well first off, how nice of you to come to me with such questions. I'm flattered. I'll attempt to do my best then! Well there's The Invisible Man movie with Elisabeth Moss and Oliver Jackson-Cohen (hi Olly!), but you know that already since I've been rambling about it for days now -- here's my review. But did you know that Burden starring Garret Hedlund and Andrea Riseborough, was also out today? You'd be forgiven for missing that since I practically did too, it hasn't gotten much of a push. I did post the trailer a few weeks back, and I've seen a couple reviews pop up here and there but generally this looks to be another check in the disappoint column for Hedlund, even with such a strong start -- it won a couple of awards at Sundance when it premiered two years back. Anyway I'm going to try to catch it this weekend before it inevitably vanishes into this air, so stay tuned.

Better luck next time, Garrett. Moving on I don't have anything to say about director Benh Zeitlin's new spin on Peter Pan called Wendy, also out today, because 1) it's gotten surprisingly bad reviews and 2) I hated Beasts of the Southern Wild, the movie that put Zeitlin on the map. So I'm not the one to have come to for caring about that one in the first place. But you might want to check out the NYFF alum and Romanian crime caper (of sorts) The Whistlers if it's playing near you -- I only thought it was okay, but a lot of people seem to dig it. It didn't inspire enough in me either way to write a review, but it has its moments.


Do Dump or Marry: Three Invisible Fellas

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One of the pleasant surprises of the many pleasant surprises contained in Leigh Whannell's terrific new Invisible Man movie out this weekend -- here's my review -- is the sheer bulk of man-candy on display opposite the ever-awesome Elisabeth Moss. Longtime MNPP love Oliver Jackson-Cohen is the titular villain of course, but there's also his brother played by New Zealand actor Michael Dorman (seen above rocking the stache) and of course Aldis Hodge, who's real close to becoming our 2020 everything. 

It's a good crowd! That said (spoiler alert, I suppose) no, sadly nobody takes their clothes off in the film -- the writers went and found an annoying work-around for the usual strip naked for invisibility science...

... that we always look forward to with these flicks. How dare they! This doubting of science needs to be stopped already! It's gone mad! Anyway if Leigh Whannell isn't going to do it for us...

... I guess that's what I'm here for. 
There's Michael Dorman, and here...

... are Oliver and Aldis. Now it's your turn: take to the comments and tell me which of these actors you'd have a single night of slippery invisible sex with, which of these actors you'd vanish into nothingness, and which you'd slip into eternal invisible matrimony beside. Answer in the comments!!! And here's a bonus question just for fun since today while looking him up I found the picture on the left on Dorman's Instagram...

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:


Bill: Did Perry interview for the police force yet?
Betty: Yes, but they said he couldn't join
because he was too tall.

This throwaway line in Muriel's Wedding makes me laugh every single time, but that's the thing -- every single line spoken in Muriel's Wedding in a winner. Top to bottom, it's perfect -- every member of the cast, every lie delivery, I literally think it's perfect. On that note yesterday would've been the 80th birthday of the legendary Aussie actor Bill Hunter, who played Bill Heslop aka Muriel's dad aka You Can't Stop Progress (He Lost) and who had a long, esteemed career besides this, but this'll always be the one I'll post about.


Logan Marshall-Green One Time

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This is the path that the dominoes took -- I saw Leigh Whannell's film The Invisible Man earlier this week, which I loved and reviewed right at this link. I liked it enough it made me re-watch Whannell's last movie Upgrade the following night, which I also loved and which I reviewed at this link. Watching Upgrade made me look up its beautiful and talented leading man Logan Marshall-Green on Instagram, which I hadn't done in a bit, which led to voila, the photo above, which he'd posted two weeks ago yet I'd missed. Y'all caught up? It's a fuckin' tapestry, man. In summation build me a fort inside of that beard, I am home.
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Five Frames From ?

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What movie is this?
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Good Morning, Yummy Julian Morris

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It seems appropriate to end the week the way we began it, by drooling over Julian Morris. (click to embiggen) Basically every day a new magazine called Yummy Zine has been dropping a new shot of the actor -- six photos in total, and not a single stitch of clothes to be seen. I don't know what we did to deserve such a week... well yes I do, we have suffered through three years of nightmare living, nevermind. We deserved this. Our gratitude to Julian and Yummy for understanding that. Go buy a copy of the magazine at their site!!! Anyway they say that's the last shot of Julian so I figure instead of making you click back through the Julian archives to see everything one by one I'll gather them up in one place, after the jump...

Thursday, February 27, 2020

The Persian Prince Returneth

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I try so very hard at being clever on Twitter -- most people would be embarrassed to admit such a thing but I am so awash in shame about everything I do I've basically circled around to no shame at this point, so whatever -- but it's always the tweets that I just toss off like nothing that end up catching fire... I suppose there's a life lesson in there somewhere but I'm too dull to let it take hold. Anyway! As seen below last evening I tweeted out some brand new photographs of Jake Gyllenhaal's current luxurious locks, and people have been having vigorous opinions about the photos ever since. What do y'all think? 
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Thursday's Ways Not To Die

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I find it kind of funny that the game of "Hide and Seek" didn't even pop into my head once while actually watching the sleazy 1988 slasher  film Hide and Go Shriek, even though you know, it's the title of the movie, and even though as seen in this scene here that is very clearly sort of what's going on. Shawn here is trying to hook up with a girl named Melissa. She disappears, and then he sees someone wearing Melissa's negligee scampering around the shadows...
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Spoiler alert: those big hairy pecs are not Melissa's. That's this killer's M.O. though -- he separates this group of kids, kills one, put on their clothes and then uses the shadows to trick them into seeking him out. It's a good gag! I've certainly stashed it away for my eventual slashing career. Anyway this one, which doesn't work out too well for poor Shawn, goes on for a bit so let's take the rest after the jump...

I'll Be Your Victim Anytime, Yahya

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Coming at you a couple of hours late thanks to the doctor's appointment I just finally got out of -- I was seriously sitting in the waiting room looking at everybody talk about this on Twitter and weeping, openly weeping -- here at last, my post on the new Candyman trailer. I'm sure y'all were waiting to hear what I had to say before you formed your own opinions! The most notable takeaway for me was, do I start the post with the shot of those beautiful bookshelves (perhaps a call-back to the original film's beautiful bookshelves?) or do I start the post with...

... shirtless Yahya Abdul-Mateen? Well there, I started with both. Seriously those shelves! (And by "shelves" I might mean "Yahya's shoulders" -- you'll just have to guess.) Anyway! The trailer's good, right? In a weird unplanned coincidence I just this morning finished listening to the Gaylords of Darkness podcast episode about Bernard Rose's 1992 film so I am feeling like I might need to re-watch that right away? Even though I did just re-watch the movie last August when I wrote about Kasi Lemmons performance... you really can't watch Candyman too many times...

... which is probably the biggest question mark (I almost said "strike against" but I won't go that far yet, sight unseen) with regards to this here remake -- the first film holds up in 2020, not just remaining terrifying but for asking questions about race relations that seem totally fresh right this minute. It's a horror masterpiece, and that's a big hill for a new movie to climb. But if you've seen the original...

... I'm curious at what point it snapped into place that, "OHHH SHIT that's what this is about! Why didn't I realize that before?!?" feeling. I'm trying to keep away from spoilers for the original and possibly I guess for this one, but I feel dumb it didn't occur to me that what appears to be the link between the two films is the link between the two films. It seems real DUH right now. Anyway here's the trailer:
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We posted the poster earlier this week at this link
the movie is out on June 12th. What do we think?
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Russell Tovey Nine Times

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Are any of our UK readers currently watching Russell Tovey's new new show Flesh and Blood? I think it's airing right now? It's the one where Imelda Staunton plays a widow who starts dating and her kids, including Russ here, don't take it easy. Coming off of his terrific (and terrifically upsetting) sci-fi and politically tinged series Years and Years with Queer as Folk creator Russell T. Davies -- which just hit DVD this week and which I very much recommend checking out if you missed it when it aired -- we're here for whatever he does.

Not that that's exactly a new development, given our history stretches back some time. I never watched Being Human, the show that gave him his career, so I think it was maybe the very fun horror movie Grabbers in 2012 where I finally paid attention to him? And then came Looking a few years later and forget about it.  Anyway there's a new chat with him over here about all this that includes this photo-shoot, the latter of which I'll share after the jump...

Five Frames From ?

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What movie is this?
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Good Morning, World

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If there's one thing to take away from the brand new Invisible Man movie that's out in theaters  this weekend -- and as my review stated yesterday there are actually a lot of things to be taken from it, since it's a real terrific fucking movie -- well, the main thing is...
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Or that was the thing I felt the immediate need to tweet upon exiting the movie, anyway. And that feeling lingers! It lingers enough that I just spent time of my life fast-forwarding through last year's godawful-looking What Men Want movie to get these gifs of Aldis Hodge therein, because while we've posted plenty of Aldis before this, not these, and that cannot stand. Kinda like me, after looking at these pictures of Aldis Hodge. Dude is gonna be such a great big star, y'all. Hit the jump for the rest...

Wednesday, February 26, 2020

Let's Take Eric Bana For a Spin

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Whoopsie I shot this load of news on Twitter last night and then totally forgot to do a post about it until just now -- Eric Bana is making a movie! As far as I'm concerned, yes even here in 2020, that is always worth a mention. And I do mean he is "making" the movie -- he's co-writing and co-directing, on top of starring in, a biopic of the famous world champion motorcycle racer Mike "The Bike" Hailwood; specifically the time he returned to racing after a decade off to run the infamously dangerous "Isle of Man race" in 1978. 

And I know I was literally just bitching about hating Ford v Ferrari, another boring racing movie -- racing is my least favorite of all the sports -- but one thing that movie didn't have which this one very well might is Eric Bana wearing an unzipped leather jumpsuit with a bunch of gold chains draped down his bare chest, and that, that, that right there makes all of the difference, my friends. (pics via)


Today's Fanboy Delusion

Today I'd rather be...

... hanging loose with Harrison.

With today's news that Steven Spielberg isn't going to direct Indiana Jones 5 -- this will be the first Indy film he won't have directed -- riling me up I could use a cool down, and these vintage Harrison Ford pics are, if not exactly slowing my heart-rate, at least taking my mind off of it. It's not even the lack of Spielberg specifically, since he seemed pretty over it last time around -- it's more his rumored replacement James Mangold. I hated Ford v Ferrari, and I thought Logan was massively overrated. You have to go back to his 3:10 to Yuma remake in 2007 to find something he's made I have good feelings about. I don't think he really speaks in my language, and I don't think he has the lightness of touch that an Indy movie needs. If this is going to be a ponderous rumination on a masculine ideal's aging then Mangold makes sense, but I don't want to watch that movie! Ugh I'm getting worked up again. Time for some Harrison distraction. Hit the jump for several more of these vintage photos...

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

The Crazies (2010)

Russell: Is he dead?
David: Well if he is he won't mind waiting.

A happy 10 to this way better than it deserved to be remake of George Romero's original 1973 film from director Breck Eisner -- I should sit down and re-watch the both of them before I make this proclamation officially but I think I actually prefer the remake in this case? I said that in my review at the time and presumably I knew what I was talking about. (Although assuming that is often a stretch.) Maybe I put it to a vote?

panel management

Out of Sight, Out of Mind

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A million You Go Girl memes were born the day Peggy Olson strutted cigarette in mouth, dead plant in hand, out of that advertising office in Mad Men, and Elisabeth Moss has become the (thankfully somewhat uneasy) standard bearer of that sentiment ever since. "Nolite te bastardes carborundorum" scrawled in a closet on The Handmaid's Tale, the grand dame rallying cry of every Pussy Hat Parade from here to Tacoma -- don't let those bastards get you down. We know Moss, whether weighed down by red robes or retro corporate pencil skirts, is gonna stick it to The Man. 

And frankly we're one hundred percent here for it. These are the fantasies of our #MeToo times, the Busby Berkley dance circle distractions from the Great Depressions of this unabashed trash-fire of a Trump Era. Moss is the plucky gal in the middle of the perfect storm of water maidens spinning and spitting in concentric shapes around her, rolling her wild eyes back into her skull and shrieking loud and shrieking long for every which one of us. She gives our madness a face.

Out this week in theaters Leigh Whannell's reenvisioning of The Invisible Man, a grand trash hoot of a good time at the movies, will maybe, when we look back on this period, turn out to be the biggest sparkling-est jewel in the crown of what I can only call the MeToo-sploitation genre. It's a little bit Sleeping With the Enemy, and a whole lot of Ingrid Bergman rummaging around in an attic hearing noises that aren't there in George Cukor's Gaslight, and all with a gaudy dollop of Nomi Malone's "revenge nails" in Showgirls painted on top. It's electric.

The film opens by dropping us right down in escape. Cecelia (Moss) is getting away from her abusive Frankenstein-tall monster of a husband (Oliver Jackson-Cohen, scarcely glimpsed in the flesh) by any means necessary. She drugs him and runs off in the middle of the night, albeit taking her too sweet time padding about his cliffside cement modernist nightmare home on her way out -- all the better for Whannell to start showing off the film's second best asset (after Moss herself of course), his medium-long shots. 

Whannell puts little Lizzy, who's never seemed tinier than she does in this film, inside of great big empty rooms time and again, forcing our eyes to travel up and down and side to side in each endless frame. And as the air grows thicker with tension -- literally, as we begin to suspect, ho ho, that there are things there in that space that we can't quite see -- every frame becomes a cause of tension in itself. Whannell forces us into the action, leans us forward in our theater seats, by showing us just a little too much empty space. Our frantic eyeballing of the frames feeds our own paranoia, and before we know it we're right in it with Cecelia -- all amped up with no outlet for our freak-out. Frazzled, party of two! Or... is it three?

Its not hard to plot out the plot through-lines of The Invisible Man from its start -- it's not interested in re-writing what passes for Popular Entertainment; it's a fairly standard thriller when you look back and actually map it all out. I do wish there'd been a character (her sister Alice, played by Harriet Dyer, would have been a fine choice) that had taken Cecelia's side, and believed her no matter how nuts it all sounded -- Aldis Hodge's cop-friend comes close but not quite, and in 2020 I think we've earned that character. 

But Moss is so genuine and empathetic, and her arc so thoroughly infuriating in exactly the right kick the seat in front of you and scream and throw your popcorn sort of way, that The Invisible Man feels like the movie that was always right there in front of us all this time but we never quite could see it until now. But now that we can, we can go see it again and again and get ourselves even just a good strong whiff of catharsis in a world primed to keep denying it, Weinstein verdict be damned, well, I can't unsee it now. It's standing right in front of me, and bless it for its fine shape.