Monday, February 29, 2016

Shut It Down

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Over-sleeping always throws me off all day long and today's been no different -- I've just been kind of staring at the same spot for the past half an hour hoping I'd get some bearings about me, but it ain't happening. Oh well. Call it a case of the Mondays, if you're the kind of person who'd say such abhorrent things, and let's pray a regular night's rest does me right. Bye!
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Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:


Petra: You're with someone in a car or in a room and you want to say something, but you're afraid. Or you'd like to be affectionate but again you're afraid. You're afraid of losing points, of being the weaker one. It's a terrible moment when you can no longer go back and start again. 

This is the third Life Lesson I have posted from this movie -- see the previous examples here and here -- which make sense since this movie is pretty much my field guide on How To Live. Anyway it's Margit Carstensen's 76th birthday today so I just wanna say thanks for the all the role modeling, Margit!
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Jai Courtney Two Times

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Who Wore It Best?

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I recently stumbled upon a copy of Phillippe Halsman's 1959 photography book Jump Book, and I highly recommend it - he took pictures of people, you guessed it, jumping, and there's something weirdly exhilarating about it all, flipping through its pages, watching 'em fly. It isn't just actors, it's scientists and politicians and comedians and all sorts, suspended in the air forever.

Happy Leap Day!
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Five Frames From ?

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What movie is this?
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Good Morning, World

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Well the Oscars kept me (and Kate, no doubt) up past our bed-times last night, and so I totally over-slept and I'm getting a super-late start this morning. If you have anything you want to say about the show give a comment! I tweeted a bunch, read them here. And we're getting around, stuff to come, just give us a little extra room this A.M. and speak softly, please.
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Friday, February 26, 2016

Is That An Oscar In Your Pocket

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The first most important thing happening this weekend is I am going to see a play starring Timothy Olyphant in his underpants. And then somewhere far far far below that, there's the Oscars. I mean I considered trying my hand today at optimism about the whole cynical enterprise and making a list of Happy Oscar Thoughts, but I couldn't even think of five possible winners that I'm passionate enough about to make a list of.

Oh well, have no fear - I will certainly watch them, and I will certainly live-tweet them, because I know the night just wouldn't be the same without my progressively drunker demands for various male movie stars to make out with each other. Follow me here. And have an excellent weekend, people. (Unless you're Alejandro González Iñárritu, obviously.)
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Outer Space Babes

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Not sure when this actually happened (and I'd like to know so I can rewind time and BE RIGHT THERE) but yesterday Tahmoh Penikett tweeted this picture of his Battlestar Galactica reunion with Michael Trucco, Jamie Bamber, and James Callis! This makes me miss that show so much. Or at least it makes me miss the locker-room scenes of that show so much. What, they couldn't have their reunion at the baths? Selfish.
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Penny For Your Pants, Josh Hartnett

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While we sit around sewing little voodoo dolls to perform magicks rituals with and make the next season of Penny Dreadful get here faster, Josh Hartnett's off lining up a movie gig -- he's going to star in 6 Below, the true story of a hockey player and snowboarder who got stuck in the frozen wilderness for eight days while simultaneously battling drug addiction.

Sounds to me like he will be wearing a lot of clothing? Maybe they should re-work the story and move it to a really hot place? Where he can wear a speedo the whole time? (Or maybe he can be the sort of hockey player that Rob Lowe was in Youngblood?) And instead of "battling drug addiction" how about... he's a sexy bartender? Just make Cocktail 2 is what I am saying, Josh Hartnett.

But back to Penny Dreadful...
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... there's the latest trailer! Actually it's kind of the first trailer, proper, since I think everything before this has been teaser-y and this has lots of actual honest-to-evil footage from what's to come. And man it looks (typically) gorgeous and scary and wonderful. The show returns on May 1st! 

And in other Josh news back in November we posted some very fine pictures of him for the clothing brand Marc O Polo; well a new batch of images from the Bruce Weber shot campaign have been released recently and man oh man he looks (typically) gorgeous. Hit the jump for thirteen more...

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

Leap Year (2010)

Anna: Do you wanna talk about it? 
Declan: Listen, Bob. You're not in America now, 
you're in Ireland. So have a drink and shut up. 

Clearly I am just using this coming Monday being the once-every-four-years occasion of February 29th as an excuse to post a picture or two of Matthew Goode, but...

... can ya blame me? I've actually never seen Leap Year though. And I can't imagine I need to see Leap Year, do I? Like, looking at still photographs of Matthew Goode in it is plenty, right? 

I was hoping I could figure out other movies that center on leap years but if you google "leap year movie" this movie is all you get, for pages and pages and pages, and I didn't care enough to try that hard for god's sake. 

Can y'all name any other movies have a "leap year" in them?
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Nikolaj Coster-Waldau Six Times

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(via)
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Which is Hotter?

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I was just reading through Nat's final Oscar predictions over at The Film Experience and I realized that the two good narratives for statue-catchers this year cancel each other out -- we can't have both "The Titanic Reunion" and "The Real-World Romance" in the winner's circle. I mean the most likely iteration is NEITHER coming together since it will probably be Leo & Alicia and they have balls-all to do with each other, but it's pleasant enough to pretend the possibilities exist, anyway. (And for the record I'd give the Oscars to the Steve Jobs duo, and then pray they marry each other.)


There's Something In Red Mist

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I was just looking at what movies are out this weekend and I saw that John Hillcoat's Triple 9 is out and it reminded me that I've been getting irritable every time I ride the subway lately (which, you know, is every day - I am a pleasure to be around) because of how bad I think the subway posters, which are a variation on the above poster, are. My eyes just pass right over all of that without catching on a single thing; it's generic as generic can be. And the reason why I find that irritating is I know what Kate Winslet looks like in this movie and I don't understand how you don't design your ad campaign around this:

I mean THAT is your ad campaign. How is that image not EVERYWHERE??? Fuck Casey Affleck and Chiwetel Ejiofor and Woody Harrelson and Anthony Mackie and Aaron Paul - yes that's an insane cast but you're not utilizing them anyway with those generic military men standing around in red smoke as is! Anyway as I googled for a picture of Kate looking all blown-out and fierce in this film I discovered they did some character posters for the film, and there is a Kate poster:

It could be better, but it's better than what they are using. Seriously though I was looking forward to this movie - John Hillcoat is a... pretty good director (The Proposition is fantastic but Lawless and The Road could've been stronger), and that's a fantastic cast, and KATE - but the ad campaign for this movie's really dampened down my enthusiasm. Anybody gonna go see it this weekend anyway?  I think if I do make it to a theater this weekend (and with the Spirits and the Oscars I might not bother) it will just be to see The Witch a second time.
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I Have Found Jesus

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I may be an atheist but I know when the time is right to get on my knees, and Tom Payne -- who just showed up as the character nicknamed "Jesus" on The Walking Dead this week -- is the right time for worship. Okay his fake beard is silly and now that I've seen the chase sequence that introduced him set to Benny Hill music it's hard to un-see that...

... but still, dude is pretty, pretty, pretty, even under the show's typically abysmal costuming, and the news that the character he's playing is, in the comics at least, gay... well color me enthusiastic. They haven't admitted whether the show character will follow suit, although Payne apparently said in an interview that fans will be happy and I think de-gaying him would make fans the opposite of that so I think we're safe. He needs to make it with Aaron!


Five Frames From ?

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What movie is this?
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Good Morning, Torben Liebrecht

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I've been to German-speaking parts of both Switzerland and Italy but I've never actually been to Germany and I think it might be wise for my boyfriend to never ever let me go to Germany because GERMAN MEN, OH MY GOD. As if I needed yet another one to lust after the fine folks over here just this morning have introduced me to Torben Liebrecht, seen here blowing the lid off my heart-valves in a recent mini-series called Morgen Hör Ich Auf, which I think loosely translates to Listen to Morning? Am I off?

(As an aside my boyfriend is a connoisseur of All Things Elvis and we actually have that exact same Elvis bust on our bookshelves, how weird is that?)

Anyway if any readers know anything about it, or about Mr. Liebrecht, give it up! Looking at IMDb I do see he starred in the horror film Deathwatch (which I have seen and is very good and which you can watch for free on Amazon Prime) and he was also on an episode of Homeland this year? Not naked though, I'd remember him if he'd been naked. Anyway hit the jump for a couple more wonderfully, awesomely NSFW shots...

Thursday, February 25, 2016

Thursday's Ways Not To Die

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Aerobicide (1987)

This movie's also known as Killer Workout, which isn't a bad title at all but the word "AEROBICIDE" is clearly everything human creativity had been building towards so we'll stick with that one. Anyway if you'd ever wondered whether Final Destination 3 was the first movie to fry somebody up in a tanning bed, now you've got your answer.

I'd been wanting to see Aerobicide for a very long time thanks to Stacie Ponder's cheerleading for the film over at Final Girl, but it was only recently given a proper release - very proper, a fancy blu-ray and everything. We are doing some things right.

Because Aerobicide lives up to the hype! It's ten thousand kinds of terrible slash awesome.The murders happen with a gigantic baby-pin! The camera leers at the sweaty lycra so long you want to spray bleach in your eyes! The folks who created the SNL classic skit "Body Fuzion" had CLEARLY seen this movie. But for all its lady-leering it's also somehow terribly...

... homo-erotic for big portions? There are fight scenes between the men in the film that go on FOREVER and involve all kinds of rolling around in the world's tiniest gym shorts.

He spends just a little too long bent over that car, ya know? Anyway I don't want to ruin all of Aerobicide's magic tricks for you - they are best discovered on your own, with a very large alcoholic beverage and perhaps a fistful of the quaaludes that the actors were clearly all downing. In summation I will leave you with this astonishing fifteen seconds of footage that I posted on Instagram the other night (and hit the jump for links to the Previous Ways Not To Die)...
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A video posted by Jason Adams (@jasonaadams) on