Monday, November 30, 2009

And Speaking Of Spooky Screenings...

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... somehow I'd forgotten to blog about this when I first heard but it came up earlier today in the comments so better late than never, I guess: [REC] 2, the apparently worthy sequel to (you guessed it!) [REC], the first-person Spanish zombie movie from last year that terrified me and many others, is playing at Walter Reade in NYC this upcoming weekend, Saturday and Sunday nights. It's for their Spanish Cinema Now series. They're also showing the first film on Sunday. Super crazy excited to see this one! Here's the trailer (en Español):

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Mighty Big Ash

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Back in October word broke that Sam Raimi's first Evil Dead film was going to be making the rounds in theaters some time soon - well BD has got the first bunch of locations and dates, so check it if you're interested. It'll be playing here in NYC at Sunshine on January 29-30th. Righteous.
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Gratuitous Johann Urb

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If you'd told me back in 2008 when Paris Hilton's The Hottie and the Nottie was being released that I'd end up posting a bunch of pictures from it one day here at MNPP, I probably woulda looked at you sideways and said, "Yeah probably." I mean who are we kidding. I have no scruples. None! Nada! Especially when it comes to handsome-type fellows. So this weekend I took note of the pretty man-pilot when I watched 2012...


... and went looking him up today, and sure enough, he rocked the Nottie. Poor thing. His name's Johann Urb, he's from Estonia, and he's been in lots of television shows (Entourage, Eastwick, and Dirt to name just three of many) and several non-Nottie movies (he was Mugatu's bodyguard in Zoolander! And "Surfer Dude" in 1408!). Anyway, he's pretty pretty pretty. Hence post.


That last shot, I can't tell ya what that's all about, it's from some 2004 episode of CSI: Miami is all I know. But speaking of gay, he's apparently playing a gay pornstar named "Cannon Balls" (!!!) in an upcoming movie called Pornstar. So there's that to look forward to.
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Quote of the Day

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"It’s incredible — I’m 60, and I’m playing the romantic lead in romantic comedies! Bette Davis is rolling over in her grave. She was 42 when she did All About Eve, and she was 54 when she did What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?." - Meryl Streep in Vanity Fair (via)

Oh just you wait, Meryl. Bette's in a dark corner of heaven waiting for you with a sack and a shiv with your name on it. You'd better regain your River Wild toughness, lady, before you shuffle off. No more flouncing around in ABBA-ready overalls for you! I say you use your mature-lady prestige and relaunch the Hag Horror genre for another generation. Fuck Nancy Meyers! Slap on the grease-paint and get wacky!
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If A Witwer Gets Wet And I'm Not There To Tell...

I think I will be forgiven for admitting (once again) that I have not been keeping up with Smallville. No offense to those of you who do keep up with Smallville, but I think you have got to be bug-fucking nuts to keep up with Smallville. Again, no offense. I gave up seasons ago and besides the occasional glimpse of gratuity like I'm about to share I feel as if my life is richer without that thing raping my brain dead anymore. But no offense!

Anyway, that's my way of admitting I somehow missed this excessively gratuitous shower scene from the show last season wherein previous gratuitous-post owner Sam Witwer (also of Battlestar Galactica) and Sam Witwer's astonishingly ripped torso was covered in blood, in the shower. And MNPP would crumble without that littered amongst the beefcake-detritus on which our very foundation rests. (pics via)

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It's America's Favorite Actress, Amber Heard

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Every time I post anything about John Carpenter's next movie The Ward and its star Amber Heard, I get what feels like this earth-shattering round of boos. Boo on Amber Heard you say! Boo! She oughta be strung up and skinned alive for our deranged amusement!

Well I say boo on you. Boo on you!

Alright, so I don't exactly adore Heard. I thought the buzz on All the Boys Love Mandy Lane turned out to be a little overdone once I actually saw the film - I never got around to properly reviewing it, but it's never actually been properly released yet anyway and I don't feel properly enthusiastic enough to bother. But while I liked the final act I found the acts leading up to it relentlessly dull. None of this was really Heard's fault, mind you. She was inoffensive, sure maybe kinda dull, but I've seen much worse. Then there was her tiny tiny bit in Zombieland, which I found very funny, and she went for it with extreme gusto, so a point in her favor. Then there was The Stepfather, a movie which I hated, but somehow I never much commented upon the fact that even though it was her character's addition to the plot that messed up that whole daddy-son dream-scape I was hoping for, somehow her character was the only one I found appealing at all on any level. (ETA I did talk about it a little bit here). Anyway I kinda liked her in the film. Besides Penn Badgley's torso, she was all there was worth liking therein.

Anyway! Another new picture of Miss Heard from Carpenter's The Ward has appeared, is my point. (via)


I just thought I should get all that defense-of-her outta my system before showing you that picture, in which she has The World's Dumbest Look plastered across her face. My work is done!
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Eddie Come Home

Awhile back y'all may recall I did a post devoted to all of the hot guys in the Friday the 13th series of films (well, almost all of them, I still haven't quite finished the post yet... don't you side-eye me, I'll get it done eventually). Anyway, I stated therein that coming in just behind my beloved Tom McBride (wheelchair-bound Mark of Part II) was Eddie in Part V as my second favorite of all.


Eddie sneaks off into the woods with his girl to make with the sexual intercourse so popular and yet so deadly in these movies, only to have a leather strap thrown around his head and a tree which is then twisted around a stick until his skull's crushed in. You know, same old same old. Thankfully he spends a good chunk of his time before meeting that violent end sauntering around stripped to the waist and generally being a total teen dream.


Well imagine my excitement - seriously, just imagine it! - when the actor who brought Eddie to glamorous hip-swaying life, John Robert Dixon, commented on that post last night! Go check it out there. He just says thanks for the attention and expresses awe that this stuff is still making the rounds. Forever, man. You will live in our hearts and minds (and related organs) forever.
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2012 in 150 Words or Less

That was the longest, most massively-budgeted CG-onslaught of a commercial for Pull-Ups that I have ever seen. A big step up from this, that's for sure:

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Justify Full
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I guess the tidal waves represented the end-result of an untrained bladder? And the arks were the Pull-Ups themselves? And the shifting tectonic plates and neutrinos were all those forces, parental, stress, what have you, that lead the poor child to pissing themselves. The Earth is a bed-wetter. Man, Roland Emmerich is deep.
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Midlake's Courage Continued

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At the start of October I posted that the band Midlake's next album, three years in the making, finally had a title, that being The Courage of Others. Well now it's also got a cover, seen there above, as well as a track-list (via).

01 "Acts Of Man"
02 "Winter Dies"
03 "Small Mountain"
04 "Core Of Nature"
05 "Fortune"
06 "Rulers, Ruling All Things"
07 "Children Of The Grounds"
08 "Bring Down"
09 "The Horn"
10 "The Courage Of Others"
11 "In The Ground"

This news is itself a month old now - developments have been so slow coming with this record I'm not completely attuned to keeping track of them just yet. The band is also telling us to expect a change of sound:

"We didn't know exactly what we wanted, but we know we didn't want to make the same album as last time. We could have made 10 albums with the amount of time we've spent, but that doesn't mean they'd be saying anything great." Instead they committed to 40-hour work weeks in order to move away from the last record's "Fleetwood Mac-y America" with a shift toward, at least in part, "British folk scene of late '60s stuff."

The album's due on Feb. 2nd, 2010.
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Today's Fanboy Delusion

Today I'd rather be...


... being read to by Sean Connery.

I still haven't a James Bond film from start to finish that doesn't star Daniel Craig, but I did happen to watch some of Dr. No over the holiday and I must say... indeed.
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Straight Thru The Heart

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I'm sure there are people that have loved Jeremy Renner longer than I have, it wasn't until mid-2007 when I finally watched his performance in 2002's Dahmer that I caught on, but all the same I've got that dastardly feeling you get when you feel an ownership of something that you loved before the rest of the crowd did. Now everybody's cooing about him these days post-Hurt Locker and all I wanna do is yell, "He's mine!" Which is ridiculous, of course, but so much of what happens inside of my brain is ridiculous I don't bother differentiating anymore.

Point being, Renner's now reached that point in his career that every young-actor-on-the-upswing does, the comic-book superhero rumors. Via DH:

"Jeremy Renner ("The Hurt Locker," "S.W.A.T.") tells Empire Magazine that Marvel Studios is after him to appear as the superhero Hawkeye in at least one or two upcoming films from the studio.

"Hawkeye could be interesting. They're going to send me some stuff on it, see what it is, but I think they're pretty awesome, trying to make superhero movies almost plausible and not just some fantasy thing" say Renner about the character, a master archer

Asked which ones he would appear in, Renner says "If I was a betting man, I would bet that Hawkeye would probably show up in Thor, and then be in 'The Avengers' but do I know for sure? I can’t say. But I’d love for that to happen. It’d be fun."

He does however admit that nothing's set in stone or on paper as yet - "No offer has been made. I think there’s a little ways from that." He's understandably cautious as he has seemingly lost out the lead role in George Miller's "Mad Max: Fury Road" to Tom Hardy.

The actor also shot down rumors he was considered for the role of Captain America. "I don’t know if I’d be right for Captain America. I met with the Marvel guys, actually, but we didn’t talk about Captain America" he says."
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Five Frames From ?

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What movie is this?
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Good Morning, Clyde

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"Alright. Alright. If all you want's a stud service, you get on back to West Dallas and you stay there the rest of your life. You're worth more than that. A lot more than that. You know it and that's why you come along with me. You could find a lover boy on every damn corner in town. It don't make a damn to them whether you're waitin' on tables or pickin' cotton, but it does make a damn to me."
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Saturday, November 28, 2009

I Knew There Was A Good Reason...

... that I'd been paying attention to Blood Creek, that Joel, Schumacher movie about Nazis worshiping the occult that got dumped into practically no theaters without any warning a few weeks back and is now headed to DVD on January 19th. Meet good reason:


(via) I left something off my list of things I'm thankful for this past holiday, it seems. Yuppers, a bloodied and strung-up half-naked Henry Cavill will about do it.

And do you think there might be interaction with that evil-eyed Michael Fassbender character? Oh, to dream! This is Joel Schumacher after all, the man who decided rubber nipples were what Batman was missing not to mention being the man who gave us the gift of Colin Farrell, so chances for homo-eroticism here are running high, I'd wager. Yeehaw.

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Thursday, November 26, 2009

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

The Ice Storm (1999)

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Wendy Hood: Dear Lord, thank you for this Thanksgiving holiday. And for all the material possessions we have and enjoy. And for letting us white people kill all the Indians and steal their tribal lands. And stuff ourselves like pigs, even though children in Asia are being napalmed.

And in a happenstance of holiday-themed karmic convergence, Glenn just gave thanks for this scene over at The Film Experience this morning! I wrote up this post yesterday along with the Addams-era Ricci Turkey Day love and Glenn's right on: cinematically speaking we all do need to recognize Ricci's ownership of this holiday. So give thanks for Christina Ricci today. And somebody give her more jobs worthy of her skill. Do it! On this both Pilgrims and Indians agree!

Oh and I gave thanks at The Film Experience for Greta Gerwig's Eighties hair and the lure of evil pizza, so check that too.
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Today's Mood

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Happy Turkey Day, y'all!
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Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:


Wednesday Addams: "We cannot break bread with you.

You have taken the land which is rightfully ours. Years from now my people will be forced to live in mobile homes on reservations. Your people will wear cardigans, and drink highballs. We will sell our bracelets by the road sides, you will play golf, and enjoy hot hors d'oeuvres. My people will have pain and degradation. Your people will have stick shifts. The gods of my tribe have spoken. They have said, 'Do not trust the Pilgrims, especially Sarah Miller.'

And for all these reasons I have decided to scalp you and burn your village to the ground."
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I'm Really Digging V...

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... is anybody else?

First off, I haven't watched last night's episode so nobody ruin it for me! I am holding off since lord knows when we're getting the next episode. I wonder if ABC realized what a predicament they've put themselves in now that they shut down production on the show and it's turned out to be a hit. Guess we'll have to wait and see what happens in Spring or whenever the hell it returns.

But for now, I am digging the show. The teen romance is blah but its cross-species counterpart in the original series was too from what I remember. And I just enjoy watching Elizabeth Mitchell cup her mug in that very specific Mitchell-ian mug-cupping way, and Alan Tudyk running around being his sexy lipless albino self, and can I hear a holla of agreement that Morena Baccarin is rocking this show like nobody's business? Love her every second of lizard-necked screentime. Can't wait to watch her deep-throat that gnarly rodent! No, not Scott Wolf.

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Today's Fanboy Delusion

Today I'd rather be...


... taking these pictures of James Remar (spitting image of Chris Cooper there, no?) and Antonio Sabato Jr. completely out of context as to make them seem somehow of a sexual nature. Oh wait! That's exactly what I am doing! Funny, that. Well nevermind then. Today's Delusion is a reality! Hooray for America!

Here are a couple more shots of Antonio in this movie
- it's called Guilty As Charged (of course it is) - just cuz...

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