Monday, November 30, 2009

It's America's Favorite Actress, Amber Heard

Every time I post anything about John Carpenter's next movie The Ward and its star Amber Heard, I get what feels like this earth-shattering round of boos. Boo on Amber Heard you say! Boo! She oughta be strung up and skinned alive for our deranged amusement!

Well I say boo on you. Boo on you!

Alright, so I don't exactly adore Heard. I thought the buzz on All the Boys Love Mandy Lane turned out to be a little overdone once I actually saw the film - I never got around to properly reviewing it, but it's never actually been properly released yet anyway and I don't feel properly enthusiastic enough to bother. But while I liked the final act I found the acts leading up to it relentlessly dull. None of this was really Heard's fault, mind you. She was inoffensive, sure maybe kinda dull, but I've seen much worse. Then there was her tiny tiny bit in Zombieland, which I found very funny, and she went for it with extreme gusto, so a point in her favor. Then there was The Stepfather, a movie which I hated, but somehow I never much commented upon the fact that even though it was her character's addition to the plot that messed up that whole daddy-son dream-scape I was hoping for, somehow her character was the only one I found appealing at all on any level. (ETA I did talk about it a little bit here). Anyway I kinda liked her in the film. Besides Penn Badgley's torso, she was all there was worth liking therein.

Anyway! Another new picture of Miss Heard from Carpenter's The Ward has appeared, is my point. (via)

I just thought I should get all that defense-of-her outta my system before showing you that picture, in which she has The World's Dumbest Look plastered across her face. My work is done!


Pax Romano said...

Way, way, waaaayyy off topic:

Just wanted to thank you for putting Marge up in your blog header. Just staring at her blank face made my day - I think I am going to have some vodka with my lunch. And then I am going to get some bars for my windows, and maybe take that rose trellis down.

Michael Seth said...

I'm commenting mostly because I haven't seen you mention that [REC] 2 will be at the Walter Reade Theater on Sunday. So in case you didn't know:

As for Amber Heard... I don't get it. I saw All The Boys Love Mandy Lane when it played in Toronto however many years ago. The hype was insane. The girl looked perfect in still pictures. Then the movie starts and I remember being super confused as to why anyone and everyone is obsessed with her. She's as dull as a human being can be. And she's been dull since then. Same with The Informers, although it kind of worked there. I definitely liked her best in Remember the Daze. She's kind of charming in that. I don't remember why, though. I'm still kind of bitter that David Gordon Green got rid of Olivia Thirlby and replaced her with Amber Heard in Pineapple Express.

Joe Reid said...



Jason Adams said...

Ain't it great, Pax? It's bringing me much pleasure too.

I have forgotten to post about that, Michael, you are right! Dumb me. But I did know it was happening and am very very very excited about it.

As for Heard, my defense of her is a half-hearted one, to be sure. I agree that to compare her and Olivia Thirlby is foolishness indeed - I loooove Olivia Thirlby. But I just can't seem to hate on Amber Heard too hard. It might be my hopes that John Carpenter will make a new good movie keeping me from doing it yet. If she ruins The Ward, then get back to me on this topic, I will surely have more to say.

RJ said...

I really, really liked Mandy Lane ... I thought she was perfect for the role b/c the point was that she was a pretty unremarkable girl who everyone was interested in simply b/c she got hot.

Michael Seth said...

RJ, I really like Mandy Lane, too. But Amber Heard.... that's what I was confused about. I didn't find her very hot. Neither were any of the other girls. I guess I'm thinking too much. I guess they were hot for Texas?

And hooray for [REC] and [REC] 2. I'll be at both on Sunday. Although, I have to admit... I'm the only person that liked Quarantine more than [REC]. I have my reasons. I just can't articulate them.

RJ said...

I think it was more that she was the hottest girl in a small town/the new conquest. All the girls who would put out already had, so all the boys, ya know, wanted to love Mandy Lane.