Good Morning, World

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Some Blondie popped up on my iPod this morning (instantaneously making it a better morning, bless that Debbie Harry) and that mixed with the other's week's re-watch of American Gigolo and multiplied by yesterday's post ruminating on the theater antics of Paul Newman led me down the rabbit hole this morning of "Richard Gere starring in Bent on Broadway in 1979." He played the Clive Owen role (Mmm Clive Owen in Bent)... or rather the Ian McKellen role as it was originated in London. It wasn't Gere's first time on stage - he spent much of the 70s as a theater actor, understudying and replacing about fifty percent of the male characters in Grease for awhile - but his turn in Bent did smack right up against his turn in Gigolo, not to mention falling after his turns in Terrence Malick's Days of Heaven (swoon) and bouncing around in a jockstrap with Diane Keaton in Looking For Mr. Goodbar.

In a 2015 interview Gere said he thought nothing of doing the play, and its gay sex scenes, at the time - honestly before AIDS swept in and really and truly fucked up America's idea of gay sex I don't find it hard to believe; the trajectory of LGBT acceptance was set to chart an entirely different course circa the late 70s and early 80s. Anyway Gere got a fine review for Bent in the NY Times - "It may sound odd to speak of the actor's work here as subtle; but the state of mind that dictates his increasing ferocity is intricate, intelligible, as inevitable as it is appalling. Mr. Gere is a remarkable performer."

5 Off My Head - 44, Meet Clive

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A happy 44th birthday going out to Clive Owen today. Where has Clive gone, anyway? Did he take some time off or something? We haven't seen him since The Golden Dud Age - it'd be a shame if he were to pay the price for that flop whilst Miss Blanchett continues feted. But no, no worries, he's got five projects lined up for the next couple of years according to IMDb, so we'll be seeing plenty of him in the future.

But what of the past?
Here are my five favorite Clive Owen performances.

Max, Bent

"We have to move rocks."

Jack Manfred, Croupier

"I'm a Gemini, and Geminis don't believe in astrology."

Robert Parks, Gosford Park

"When was the last time you stabbed a corpse?"

Larry, Closer

"What does it taste like?"

Theo Faron, Children of Men

"Woke up, felt like shit. Went to work, felt like shit."

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Happy birthday, Clive!
I hope that, where ever you are, you're celebrating
in the appropriate birthday attire...

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That's News To Me!

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In all of the times that I've posted the above picture - and I've posted it numerous times - or even just thought about that moment from the film Bent - and yes you guessed it I've thought on that scene way way more than the word "numerous" could ever pretend to contain in its eight letters - I have never once given any thought to looking up the name of the actor playing the blond Nazi sticking his tongue onto Clive Owen's. Not once! It never occurred to me. I am a hopeless fool!

So imagine my surprise when I discovered yesterday, through no means of my own, I just stumbled upon it, that the actor is someone I've actually posted about in a different context before. His name is Nicholaj Coster-Waldau and he was last seen scorching up television screens very briefly in that vampire-detective show not called Angel, New Amsterdam.


I posted on him here just because he reminded me of Thomas Kretschmann (yes, that is reason enough to get a post out of me), never realizing he was the dude from Bent. But now that I know he was the Clive-tonguing hot Nazi... well now I have a whole new level of interest in Mr. Coster-Waldau.


Random but true fact: I actually saw a longer cut of Bent at a film festival in... 1997, I guess it was... and the scene here at the beginning in which Mr. Coster-Waldau takes part was longer with a lot more Weimer Republic-esque queerness to go around that burned itself pretty firmly into my brain. Imagine my disappointment when I saw the film again years later on video and the extra bits had been edited down! I demand a Director's-Cut Special-Edition! Or at least a Me-Cut Special-Edition where I edit out all that depressing Holocaust stuff that makes up the other 95% of the film and release just the first twenty sexy minutes as a short.
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Today's Fanboy Delusion

Today I'd rather be...

... getting Bent with Clive and Nikolaj.

I've admitted this before, but I like to think of Bent as a ten minute short film that tells the story of the forbidden love affair between a well-mustachioed Jew and the prettiest darn Nazi you ever did see. Everything just gets so gosh-darn depressing after this part, ya know?

When I talked about this before though I also mentioned the fact that I first saw Bent at a film festival back in 1997, and then when I saw the movie on video a couple of years later I found a moment I remembered rather vividly having been edited out. Much to my chagrin! Well apparently it wasn't edited out overseas and thanks to the wonders of the internet I just found it again. Hooray! The whole clip's at this link, but after the jump I will share the NSFW part 'd been missing (along with a whole bunch more Nikolaj, just cuz)...

I Am Link

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--- Who And How - Back in January we heard that Michael Cera and John Hawkes were going to star in Charlie Kaufman's (yes that Charlie Kaufman) half-hour pilot for FX called How and Why, which is about a children's science show host who loses his job and stumbles upon the supernatural. I think that's probably the most succinct way to describe what it's about, I guess. You know Charlie! Anyway as if that wasn't already enough to take our little brains and mash them into balls and kick them across the room, now comes word that the show will also star Catherine Keener and Sally Hawkins. I'm trying to keep myself from going ablutely nuts here, FX still has to pick the series up, this could all end up a big zero. On the other hand, KABOOM.

--- Dragon Breath - I know it's cliche to whine about George RR Martin doing anything - breathing, sleeping, moving - that isn't writing the final two books in his A Song of Ice and Fire series, but seriously I don't care he drives me crazy crazy crazy. So I didn't bother reading this new interview with him, but I guess he talks a bunch about there being movies made or something. That's nice, George - go home now!

--- Splinter Off - Doug Liman, the director of Go who has never been able to top that early success even though he's made some stuff that's been decent enough (I really enjoy Mr. & Mrs. Smith), has been trying to get a movie made with Tom Hardy - any ol' movie! He just wants to spend six months in close quarters with Tom hardy, and who can blame him? They were trying to make an Everest movie but now Jake Gyllenhaal's bare ass is making an Everest movie so the two of them are moving on to adapt the video game Splinter Cell. I haven't ever played it, I guess it's about a black-ops unit fighting terrorists and things going boom and so forth. One assumes Tom Hardy will wear tight black pants, so I'm in!

--- Gonna Call - The pair of guys who directed The Lego Movie are of course the same pair behind both Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs and both 21 Jump Streets - they kind of own mainstream comedy right now. So we shouldn't be surprised that their names are at the top of the heap for the third Ghostbusters film, which strangely seems to have developed real heat in the wake of Harold Ramis' death. Ivan Reitman is a definite no.

--- Spinning Girls - Ryan Gosling is going to produce and probably star in a bio-pic about famed director and choreographer and visual-magician Busby Berkley. I didn't realize that Busby himself actually led all that interesting a life, but I suppose who cares if you can re-stage all of those spectacular dance routines of his. And hey maybe Ryan will slip all this into just a dance-belt at some point. The world can dream.

--- The Other Man - I don't understand why they only opened Jake Gylenhaal's film Enemy on one screen here in NYC last weekend (and at the shit-hole Angelika at that) but it's spreading to at least a few more screens tomorrow thank goodness, so maybe y'all can see the best movie I've seen in 2014 for yourselves. And hey maybe one of these days I will write up those spoilery thoughts I promised. Til then here's an interview with the director Denis Villeneuve to check out. He gives some info on what he's up to next, both of which sound promising. (Chastain!)

--- Manly Aggression - I really thought that Guillaume Canet's film Blood Ties with Clive Owen and Matthias Schoenaerts had come and gone already and I'd just missed it, but here's The Playlist rolling out a new clip from it and saying that it comes out in theaters and on demand tomorrow. The clip involves Clive and Matthias hugging and then Clive beating the shit out of Matty, so adjust your fetishes accordingly. (I really wish they were re-creating Clive's scene with Nikolaj Coster-Waldau in Bent, personally.)

--- Beast's A Burden - It seems that Kelsey Grammar will be making a cameo in the new X-Men movie reprising his role as the old version of Nicholas Hoult's Beast - the thought of Nicky growing up to be Kelsey always makes me break out in hives. What a horrible thought. Take care of yourself, Nick! Good good care.

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Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

Bent (1997)

Horst: We had a boy like that in school.
Used to lead us in silences.
Max: Ok. I'll explain. Ok. We have to move rocks.
Horst: Yes sir.
Max: You move one rock at a time.
Horst: Yes sir.
Max: You take it over there.
Horst: Yes sir.
Max: When that pile is complete, you take
one rock at a time and move it back.
Horst: You move it back? You move rocks from
there to there and then from there to back again?
Max: Yes sir.

Meant to mention this yesterday but great news from the home market as Bent finally got released on blu-ray this week in a fancy restoration with some extras - they don't mention any cut scenes but they do promise "behind the scenes footage" and I'm hoping there's at least a hint in there of the extended "Clive Owen & Nikolaj Coster-Waldau orgy scene" that I've mentioned before having seen when the film played the local gay film festival when I was in college circa 1997. You get a little glimpse of it in the film as was finally released, but I vividly remember - you remember such things! - the scene being longer that first time I saw it. Such things should not be lost unto time! I know there's more to this film to appreciate - much more - but this is a white whale of a windmill that I've been chasing for decades now, it's driving me mad! But  anyway I guess at least no matter what we'll always have that kiss...

Speaking Of Physical Media...

... and why would we speak of anything else... the unbelivable has happened! The fine folks over at Vinegar Syndrome have finally, finally, FINALLY, got the rights to release Richard Brooks' 1977 film Looking For Mr. Goodbar  -- and on 4K no less! This film contains my favorite Diane Keaton performance -- which is saying a lot since I'm a huge fan -- plus peak Richard Gere. It also has one of the most disturbing endings ever put on-screen so, you know, that's fun. Anyway this hasn't gotten a release since VHS way back in the day -- the story was that the rights to the music in the film made a new release cost prohibitive, but it would appear they got that sorted out! Pre-order the disc right here -- they won't ship until sometime in December but do expect to use up your pateince waiting, VS tends to be kind of slow on that front. Especially when it comes to these big sales. I cannot believe we're finally going to get Richard Gere doing push-ups in a jockstrap in 4K!! Just think how much better this gif will be:

That's not all Vinegar Syndrome has of import this month, though -- they're also releasing Red Rooms, the Quebecois serial killer thriller that I reviewed at Fantasia Fest last year and which I just re-watched a week or so ago and loved even more with a second view. This movie is fantastic. And they're releasing Bent, the searing gay holocaust drama that stars Clive Owen and which features Clive & Nikolaj Coster-Waldau memorably going at it in its opening scenes... 

Good Morning, Danes

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And I thought it was exciting finding out last week that Alexander Skarsgard and Joel Kinnaman are real world buddies - did you know that Nikolaj Coster-Waldau and Mads Mikkelsen played really good friends reunited in a 1998 movie called Vildspor (translated Wildlife) back in their homeland? 

And what with them being all, you know, European and all, they express this friendship by constantly groping at each other. 

That gif I posted last night of Nikolaj enjoying his champagne is from this movie; indeed I could post about oh let's say an hour and a half's worth of gifs from it... but yes that would be the entire movie. But they both are so young (this is Nikolaj only a year after he made out with Clive Owen in Bent) and supple and touchy feely therein... it's really something. Hit the jump - I didn't quite do the entire movie but let's call it a Whitman's Sampler of gratuity...

Clive & Nikolaj Forever

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It's a shame those crazy kids from Bent 

just couldn't make it work.

ETA because you asked, I oblige:
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Happy 40, Nicholaj Coster-Waldau

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Loved him since he made out with Clive Owen in Bent, I have.
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Time to (Night) Watch Nikolaj Again!

This is unexpected but exciting news -- a sequel to the 1994 Danish classic horror flick Nightwatch is happening, with Nikolaj Coster-Waldau reprising the role that proved to be his big breakout. Well, sort of -- most people would say that it wasn't until Game of Thrones that he broke out and they'd technically be correct, but it was Nightwatch in my eyes because I saw it (and more specifically his jaw-dropping nude scene) and I paid attention to him from there on out! And then a couple of years later he played tongue-hockey with Clive Owen in Bent and I was fully lost. Anyway if you've never seen the original Nightwatch it's absolutely ace -- far better than the 1997 remake with Ewan McGregor. 

This 30-year-later sequel is called Nightwatch: Demons Are Forever and is from the same director as the original, Ole Bornedal. And the sequel co-stars Bornedal's own daughter Fanny Leander Bornedal, who's playing Nikolaj's daughter and which sees her sucked into the same nightmare that plagued her pops three decades earlier. That said it's been awhile since I watched Nightwatch so I'll refrain from sharing more details, mainly because I don't want to read any more of the press release before re-watching the original myself. Thankfully both movies are dropping thanks to Shudder on May 17th. When we get a trailer I will share it but for now just enjoy looking at Nikolaj in 1994, truly a special-effect of a human being:

I Have No Memory Of...

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... Jude Law playing Nikolaj Coster-Waldau's eye-patch wearing Nazi BFF in the 1997 movie Bent but sure enough there he is. I don't think he's in the film other than this moment, so it's only a cameo - I wonder if he shot any more..... (You know I'm contemplating a three-way with those two & Clive Owen now, I don't even have to say that, right? Right.) 

Happy 47, Nikolaj!

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