Go On 'n Goon Out, Henry Cavill

As twas foretold by yesterday's post of Henry Cavill pictures, the trailer for Guy Ritchie's The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare starring Henry Cavill, Alex Pettyfer, Alan Ritchson, Eiza Gonzalez, and Henry Golding has indeed arrived this morning -- it feels like a Kingsman movie meets Inglourious Basterds (right down to the presence Til Schweiger) but I don't really mean that to dismiss it; I actually think it looks fun? Dumb but fun and if Guy Ritchie can perfect "dumb but fun" he'll be doing better than he normlaly does. 

Ungentlemanly is out on April 19th.

How Ungentlemanly of Me

Guy Ritchie's testosterone caper The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare is out in theaters today -- watch the trailer here if you missed it. Starring Henry Cavill and Alan Ritchson and Henry Golding and Alex Pettyfer and Hero Fiennes Tiffin plus that lady from Ambulance the movie is basically just a beefed-up (literally -- I mean look at Alan Ritchson there) version of every men-on-a-mission war movie that Hollywood's been churning out since the 1950s at least. I suppose there are earlier examples than that but they really seemed to come into their own in the '50s, when we decided we really needed to solidify our post-WWII savoir complex. Anyway this one isn't American propoganda, given the British director and international cast -- it's sort of Winston Churchill Propoganda but really it's not anybody propoganda. It's just a goof. And as such it's fine enough, although I really think when people have been calling it "Guy Ritchie's Inglourious Basterds" they've been underselling just how thoroughly this movie is xeroxing Tarantino at times, beat for beat and character for character. Basterds actor Til Schweiger has to play the Chistoph-Waltz-ish colorful Nazi this time instead of playing the over-indulgent Nazi killer that he did previously -- it's Ritchson now who plays that part. The lady from Ambulance puts on a shiny dress for the last act a la Diane Kruger, all for the big party slash showdown. It's remixed enough to be different enough but Tarantino should still probably toss a pie at Ritchie the next time they're in the same room. Anyway yesterday I posted some photos from the movie's premiere where I also mentioned that I got violently sick from food poisoning in the middle of watching this movie so you should obviously take my opinion with a great big grain of salt! I was clearly somewhat distracted! It's a fun enough slab of muscular entertainment. Just the way Henry Cavill likes it.

Who Wore it Best?

When Henry Cavill first grew his legendary Mission Impossible stache there was a lot of "Holy Tom of Finland drawing!" grunting, but leave it to director Guy Ritchie to take homoerotic fetishism to the next level and legitimately costume Cavill like a Tom of Finland character for his next movie, the WWII-set The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare, which I talked about previously right here. Photos from the set (also featuring Henry Golding and Alex Pettyfer) popped up today (see more here) that have Henry fully decked out and, as per usual with this particular brand of fetishism, it's conflicting! But still I must ask! (Thx to Fiona for the suggestion!)

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Pic of the Day

(click to embiggen) Guy Ritchie has been very busy, and by "busy" I mean he has been rounding up all of the hot dudes I post about all the time and stuffing them into about half a dozen movies that he's working on all at once. That's really the only explanation for how we've gotten to the point of filming this one and checking my archives I realize I never posted about it before today. "This one" is called The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare and it stars (deep breath) Henry Cavill, Alex Pettyfer (somebody hired him!), Alan Ritchson, Hero Fiennes-Tiffin, and last but hardly hardly least Henry Golding. And despite how old-timey this photo that Henry Cavill posted looks this movie is set during World War II and is about some rogue soldiers getting gathered up to (what else) fight dem Nazis. I guess it could be less a daguerreotype like I thought it was at first and more like those famous faded photos of sexy WWII sailors like the ones gathered in this book (a personal fave). ETA here are two more photos after the jump...

Swash Me Buckle, Henry Cavill

While we've already gawped at Henry Cavill's lotta-look on the set of Guy Ritchie's upcoming movie The Ministtry of Ungentlemanly Warfare it's good to have an update via the man himself -- Henry shared these two official photos of him in character on his Insta today, along with the info that a trailer will appear tommorow. I was surprised when I checked -- it's out on April 19th! That's not too far away now. This movie is a veritable who's-who of beefcakery, also starring Alan Ritchson, Alex Pettyfer, Henry Golding, Til Schweiger, Hero Fiennes Tiffin, plus Dunkirk twink Freddie Fox is apparently playing James Bond author Ian Fleming? I have no idea what nonsense to expect from this thing but biceps will be served. 

Jake & Hank Coming Together

In the original version of the Road House photo above Jake's love interest (played by Daniela Melchior) is on his left side (see it here), but some enterprising soul on the internet went and photoshopped her out (no it wasn't me) and yes, I will totally share that. I am not above sharing that. I am not above much to be honest, but definitely nothing having to do with Jake. Anyway I needed a Jake photo because we have Jake News (insert beeping breaking news sound effect here) today! His movie with Guy Ritchie and Henry Cavill...

... that I told you about very nearly an entire year ago has a title and it has a release date. The title is In the Grey, and the release date isn't until January 17th 2025. SIGH so far away. Here is how it is being described:

"It's set to follow a group who operates in the middle of criminality and the law with Cavill, Gyllenhaal, and González joining forces in the search for billions of dollars in stolen cash."

So a crime caper, right in Ritchie's wheelhouse then. (And I remain on a weird-for-me Ritchie high right now thanks to his show The Gentleman kicking ass and thanks to Henry Golding acting real gay on the PR beat for Ritchie's upcoming movie The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare.) In the Grey (that "e" is gonna bug me for a full year, sigh) also stars Eiza González (who Jake starred opposite in Michael Bay's Ambulance) and our great Saltburn overlord Rosamund Pike. In summation:

Henry finally found a suit that fits him
(and yes I include the vpl in my definition of fits) pic.twitter.com/yOm2Sed5QT

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) April 10, 2024

Henry Cavill Gives You Ample Reason...

... to see the new Guy Ritchie movie.

Via this new clip:

The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare is out April 19th.

Pics of the Day

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If I hadn't gotten sick on Monday (as detailed in too-fine-of-detail this morning here) this would've been a much bigger deal around here -- as seen above I went to the world premiere of Guy Ritchie's new movie The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare that night here in NYC and took some photos of the cast (plus some producer dude named Jerry Bruckheimer), including the beautiful Henrys Cavill and Golding (and Zaga for that matter). All of those can be seen above on my Insta. Unfortunately the experience was ruined by the food poisoning that consumed every cell of my body mid-movie, so looking at these photos now makes me feel queasy again -- not really the Pavlovian response I want to have when looking at the Henrys; I am hoping it passes with time. Maybe more on the movie later? I don't know. I'm barely keeping myself afloat today.