Friday, May 05, 2023

OK You're Forgiven For Everything, Guy Ritchie

Guy Ritchie is selling a movie at Cannes that will star Jake Gyllenhaal and Henry Cavill. Do I even need to say more? This post could just be that sentence -- with the above finely photo-shopped image via yours truly, of course -- written in three-thousand-point type, and that would be plenty. JAKE AND HANK, TOGETHER AT LAST. Will they rub their chest hair together to start a fire to keep themselves warm? Listen Guy Ritchie, I am willing to be a scab and break the Writer's Strike if you let me write that scene. I don't think anybody would hold that concession against me.

Okay the actual news -- the movie doesn't have a title but Jake & Hank (and yes I will be using that name for them throughout this entire process, from now until the movie hits blu-ray, so prepare yourselves) will be playing "two extraction specialists who must plan an escape path for a high-level female negotiator (played by Jake's Ambulance co-star Eiza González). Jake & Hank have of course worked with Ritchie previously -- The Covenant just came out a couple of weeks ago (here is my review) and Henry is currently working on his, what, third movie with Ritchie? That's the one where he looks like this:

See more over here. Anyway! Needless to say! This excites us. This news excites us in places that haven't been excited in decades. Expect some coverage! Oh and PS -- a happy 40th birthday to Mr. Cavill today!

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