Thursday, June 29, 2023

Nobody Puts Madsy in the Corner


Well it's that time! What time? Time for me to head off to places unknown (read: my couch) for five straight days. It's a holiday weekend here in the U.S. and I'm off until next Wednesday. I put in the work this past week though -- I reviewed the new Indiana Jones (here), I reviewed the new Jennifer Lawrence (here), I reviewed the new Rock Hudson bio-pic (here), I reviewed the new Wes Anderson (here), and I reviewed a forthcoming Jude Law (here). Oh and I answered the question of which role of Harrison Ford's was the hottest right here. PLUS I have a big piece that has not been not published yet which I will update the site with a link to over the break. That's a lotta goddamned writing y'all and I ready for that goddamned couch.

But like I did just say -- I will be updating the site a little bit over the break; not just that coming piece (heh I said "coming piece") but there's our annual July 4th ridiculousness as well, which will land on (you guessed it) July 4th. So come back and visit over the break for these and perhaps other surprises! Or per usual keep your eyes on my social media accounts -- it's not like I'll be off of those for longer than five seconds. Have a happy 4th, y'all! And even more importantly -- Happy 11 to Magic Mike!


The Public Life of the Sixth Wife


Katherine Parr, the sixth and final wife of the British monarch Henry VIII, has never gotten much attention from the movies -- there's 1933's The Private Life of Henry VIII and 1953's Young Bess, the 20-year-separate pair that both star Charles Laughton as the larger-than-life despot, offing his brides one by one. And Parr does get some proper attention in the latter where she is played by Deborah Kerr and is shown being instructive to Princess Elizabeth (Jean Simmons), soon to be the formidable Queen for several decades. 

Enter Firebrand, the lush and lavish and darkly devastating new period piece from Brazilian director Karim Aïnouz, who in 2019 gave us one of the great films of the new millennium with Invisible Life (one of my favorite films of that year). (Also as a sidenote: Aïnouz's 2011 film The Silver Cliff, which has never gotten any kind of release here in the U.S. save one screening here in NYC that I was fortunate enough to be at, is also a masterpiece and god I want to see it again.) Starring Alicia Vikander at her most quietly determined as Parr and an almost unrecognizably disgusting Jude Law as her husband the King, Firebrand finally gives Parr her due, while also giving Vikander a fine role suited to her quiet strengths.

Narrated by the Princess and Queen-to-be Elizabeth (a watchful Junia Rees), Firebrand is also framed, like Young Bess was, as the story of how that iconic future monarch -- one who's never fallen into the short-on-biopics camp -- would learn from Parr how to manage being both a woman and a leader at once. Mostly set across a small stretch of time where Henry runs off to do some warmongering and Parr momentarily takes over the throne, becoming the Regent in his absence, there are lessons here that fall into the pro and the anti camp for Elizabeth, behaviorally speaking, and she's always lurking in the background soaking them up.

But this is very much Katherine's story. Frustrating, tragic, but also illuminating -- the author of several prayer books (including the first book ever published by a Queen under her own name), Parr was a woman centuries before her time, and she paid for it. Vikander, so slight and yet somehow never once lost under these enormous and elaborate (and really very gorgeous) costumes, brings a silent ferocity to the woman -- she's smarter than almost anyone around her, and yet her intelligence keeps tripping her up in a world that sees no value in an intelligent woman. 

Katherine's contradictions are her downfall -- prone to visiting with heretics and openly flirting with her ex Sir Thomas Seymour (Sam Riley, looking good enough in his ginger ZZ Top beard that he makes open flirting understandable), she knows she's playing with fire in Henry's eyes. The man has already gone through five wives at this point! And yet she also sees that Henry is drawn to her fire too, and she finds it irresistible -- she wants to use her power to possibly enact real change, standing as they do on the cusp of the Reformation. She is a true believer, and she sees that possibility. She just tries to jump ahead a little too fast.

Katherine's under-told story aside, Jude Law nevertheless very nearly steals the film from Vikander, even though hubby Henry doesn't plod into the film until its midway point. Bringing to mind Olivia Colman's petulant Queen Anne in The Favourite, with her weeping sores and wounded ego, both monarchs are illustriously disgusting figures -- Anne remained mostly relatable though, at least in comparison to Law's Henry, who's nothing but pus and sexual appetite and a bottomless jealousy where his heart should go. Law's Henry bellows at god in fury for every perceived slight, and then some part of him immediately starts leaking. This is a Henry on his last leg, as it were, but he'll bring down the entire house with him if he must. And obviously he must. Anyway Law savors and devours every grunt -- getting to be ugly and awful never looked so rancidly delicious -- we can practically taste the poisonous spittle coming off the screen. It's a lot! But I believed every second.

There are bits of history that get shuffled about in Firebrand's last act that I won't wander into for spoiler's sake, but they don't really matter too much -- we're not talking about an Inglourious Basterds type of historical rewrite here. What does matter is that Aïnouz and his screenwriters, the sisters Henrietta and Jessica Ashworth, fashion a quietly compelling tale of agency dashed upon the rocks. Broken and battered until somebody, just ahead, manages to pick up the pieces and put them together in a new way, a way that might just work this time out. It's about small steps, two back for every forward, and what we learn in those seeming death spirals. We just keep pressing on -- every thing done is a thing that matters, and some day our stories will get told.


So What's Your Destiny


Let it be known that I went into Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny with exceedingly low expectations -- the second that James Mangold was announced as director all my hopes melted away like that one Nazi's face at the end of Raiders. I found Logan vastly overrated and was nearly bored to literal death by Ford v Ferrari, and so I figured this was gonna be a disaster. And yet here we are -- I actually thought Dial of Destiny was pretty fun! Click here to read my review at Pajiba where I get into it. It's got some issues but it's better than Kingdom of the Crystal Skull -- Ford is wonderful (of course he was) and I love love loved Phoebe Waller-Bridge in it. I also loved the go-for-broke ending, and there's a really weird scene where Antonio Banderas shows up with a boat full of shirtless muscle-bound sailor-men that is totally gratuitous aka made for me. And made for any of you reading this, I'd wager! PS in related news if you missed it earlier today I ranked Harrison Ford's hotness at Mashable, which you might also appreciate. 

Kyle Gallner's Your Ride Or Die


This hit like some happy surprise news yesterday -- The Ruins and Swallowed director Carter Smith has a new movie coming out on August 4th! It's called The Passenger (I suppose the above poster gave that away) and it stars Kyle Gallner and Johnny Berchtold (yup, poster gave that way as well) as co-workers at a fast food joint who are flung together on a violent road-trip from hell. I want to go on a road-trip from hell with Kyle Gallner!

Anyway the trailer (seen down below) maybe gives away too much, so I might recommend skipping it and just waiting for the movie? But I can say just off its vibes alone that Smith's whole thing where he has a good boy get dominated by a bad boy is very much on display here, as it was in Swallowed (review here) and his incredible short film Bugcrush. And that whole thing is a thing I like! I like it a lot! And so I will probably also like it here! 

The Hottest Harrison Ford of All


This is a subject I have broached here at MNPP before, but with the new Indiana Jones movie out in theaters this weekend (more on that soon) I was gifted the chance to take this mighty important conversation onto a larger platform -- click over to Mashable to read my investigation on "What was Harrison Ford his hottest?" Very important stuff y'all!

Five Frames From ?






What movie is this?

Good Morning, World


(click to embiggen) Can somebody get a hold of somebody who knows me and have them make sure that I have woken up? I fell over backwards in my chair yesterday afternoon when actor Karl Glusman posted this selfie on Instagram and hit my head, and I am afraid I never woke up this morning. Killed by bulge -- the Jason Adams story! That one's inevitable.

Wednesday, June 28, 2023

They Called Him Rock


Rock Hudson has finally gotten the proper documentary treatment with All That Heaven Allowed, which just premiered at Tribeca earlier this month and is hitting HBO Max or Max or whatever the hell they're calling it today -- click here to read my Mashable review of the film. While a little bit on the rushed side, I think this doc lays the table pretty well, and it'll serve as a great foundation for the inevitable biopic when the day comes, since it tells the story the way it needed to be told, which is to say it finally talks to all the gay men in his life! What a revolutionary concept! (And Armistead Maupin lays down one of the greatest lines ever spoken about Rock, which I quote in my review.) Below is the trailer -- you need to watch this flick!

Ethan Peck Seven Times


Surprised that I still haven't watched any of the Star Trek series Strange New Worlds, given the Ethan Peck factor -- I was posting about him for years before he slapped on the pointy ears and started playing hunky baby Spock. Alas, who has the time. My boyfriend watches it and I think he likes it -- he likes one of the Star Trek series that are on anyway. isn't there another one? I can't keep shit I don't watch straight -- I can hardly keep shit that I do watch straight, for Guinan's sake. Anyway Ethan Peck! He is hot! This photo-shoot for InStyle magazine (read the interview here) is a good reminder of that without pointy ears getting in the way. Hit the jump for it all...

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:


Beatriz: You think killing is hard? Try healing.
You can break something in two seconds.
But it can take forever to fix it.

It's ridiculous how prescient this movie was about all the conversations we'd be smothering in five years later. I re-watched it a few months ago and if you've never seen it, or if you haven't seen it since it came out, I really recommend a revisit. Just an astonishing piece of work, and Salma Hayek has never been better. The whole cast, top to bottom -- John Lithgow, Connie Britton, Chloë Sevigny, Amy Landecker, Jay Duplass, David Warshofsky, and several reaction shots from John Early. Just perfect. I know a lot of people see it (and Enlightened) as dry-runs for The White Lotus but -- and I say this adoring The White Lotus -- they're better than The White Lotus. Enlightened obviously, but Beatriz too. Anyway this is all my way of saying -- Happy Birthday, Mike White! Watching him win award after award for Lotus has been one of the few pleasures the past couple of years have given us. A true king.

Meet The I


Highly recommended new movie out this week -- the revelatory documentary Every Body from Julie Cohen (the director of RBG and Julia) which screened at Tribeca earlier this month. It focuses in on the lives and activism of three intersex people, and tells their stories alongside the long history of their community. I learned so much from this movie that I felt shameful for not knowing beforehand, but it's not only educational -- it's highly entertaining too, and very much worth your time. Here's the trailer:

Five Frames From ?






What movie is this?

Good Morning, World


A happy 51st birthday to one of the best actors working today and an MNPP fave, Alessandro Nivola! Most recently seen being teased as a big bad in the trailer for the superhero (anti-superhero, whatever) flick Kraven the Hunter with Aaron Taylor-Johnson, I'm sure he will be having fun there but if you wanna see what he's really capable of watch the movie this morning's gifs are from, The Many Saints of Newark. Or my personal favorites Disobedience and Junebug. He's always great and we hope where ever he is today somebody's letting him know. Otherwise here we are, saying it! You're great, dude! And you look really good in an undershirt (I am trying to stop using the term "wifebeater" even though it's all I can think when I see these tank tops) and that's what the rest of us are going to hit the jump to celebrate...

Tuesday, June 27, 2023

Bow Down


The king has arrived.

We Won the Supes Lottery


Three and a half years ago I wrote a post wondering if The Politician actor David Corenswet should be cast as our next Superman -- well it only took (checks watch) three and a half years but they finally listened to me! Since that series Corenswet went on to also star in Ryan Murphy's show Hollywood, as well as our beloved Pearl from Ti West, and more recently he got cast in the sexy-crazy cast of the Twister sequel Twisters. But today Deadline reports that Superman is finally his -- and he will co-star opposite Mrs. Maisel herself Rachel Brosnahan as his Lois Lane. James Gunn is directing, and the film's title for the record is Superman: Legacy. You can see a lot and I mean a lot more of David Corenswet in our archives. We are fans!

We also know that the villain is going to be Lex Luthor again (sigh) but that casting hasn't been announced yet -- yesterday there was reporting that both Alexander and Bill Skarsgård are up for the role. Out of those two, as much as I love Alex I say go with Bill but to be honest I'm not sold on either of them? I honestly think...



Don't Pas(olini) This One By!


As foretold in March, today is the day that Criterion's great big beautiful boxed-set of Pier Paolo Pasolini movies hits store shelves! You can buy it here if you haven't already (or maybe wait a week and buy it in July when Barnes & Noble has their big biannual Criterion sale). This set contains nine of Pasolini's films -- Accattone, Mamma Roma, Love Meetings, The Gospel According to Matthew, The Hawks and the Sparrows, Oedipus Rex, Teorema, Porcile, and Medea -- and is chockful of extras otherwise. I'll re-share the full details for the set after the jump...

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:


Lai Yiu-fai: I didn't see Chang, but I saw his family.
I finally understood how he could be happy running around
so free. It's because he has a place he can always return to.

A happy 61 to the legend Tony Leung today!

Five Frames From ?






What movie is this?

Good Afternoon, World


Hey and howdy and good afternoon, one and all -- busy day here behind the scenes of MNPP (aka My Life), I've got a couple of screenings going on so it's all a bit abbreviated. Online-wise anyway. That said (whatever the hell I just said) I am here for a couple of hours now, so let's see what mischievous nonsense we can get ourselves into, ehh? Sam Claflin says "Huh?" And in return we say, "Happy birthday, Sam Claflin."

Monday, June 26, 2023

And These Are Your Gay Emmys


I yelped several times reading through the winners of the Dorian TV Awards just now -- awarded by the LGBTQ+ critics guild GALECA of which I am a member, we got so much right! And then we gave some awards to Succession, but I guess we can't get everything right. Ahem. Anyway we gave two yes two prizes to Bryan Fuller's horror doc Queer For Fear (read my review of it here), which got the biggest yelp out of me. We gave it both "Best LGBTQ Doc or Doc series" as well as the more general "Best Doc or Doc Series" and dammit it deserved 'em both. We also gave several awards to Somebody Somewhere and The White Lotus AND we gave "Best TV Movie" to Andrew Ahn's Fire Island! We have good taste! Except for Succession. Hit the jump for the press release and list of winners....

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

Jack: It's like seeing someone for the first time, like you can be passing on the street, and you look at each other for a few seconds, and there's this kind of a recognition like you both know something. Next moment the person's gone, and it's too late to do anything about it. And you always remember it because it was there, and you let it go, and you think to yourself, 'What if I had stopped? What if I had said something?' What if, what if... it may only happen a few times in your life.
Karen: Or once.
Jack: Or once.

Every time I write this about a 1998 movie a little piece of my crumbles to dust, but -- a happy 25th birthday to this great Soderbergh flick! Another casualty of my busy-ness as of late was me re-watching this movie for the first time in too long and writing a piece on it for this anniversary; I've just had too many other projects due last and this week to get to this one. But I have an open little window tonight and I bought this movie on 4K recently, so maybe I'll watch it here for its anniversary proper. And maybe I'll remember what it felt like, actually liking George Clooney and Jennifer Lopez! In all seriousness though, I loved this movie and am extremely curious how it'll hold up after all these years. Stay tuned!

Zane Phillips Four Times


I tried to watch the first episode of Glamorous, the new Netflix series that stars Kim Cattrall (Team Samantha!) and Fire Island co-star  Zane Phillips as a mother and (gay) son who run a make-up empire, but that is not a show for me. I only made it halfway through that first episode before giving up with a very large headache. No amount of Zane running half-naked on a treadmill was going to be enough for me to hang around through all of the other shrill nonsense. But we did get this new photoshoot of Zane out of it (via) so all is not lost. Hit the jump for the rest...

Yes Feelings


I know the online contingent of Jennifer Lawrence haters is vocal, but I cannot stand with you -- I love Jennifer Lawrence. I have loved her since Winter's Bone, I have loved her through falling on the Oscar stairs and making poop jokes and her stealing Nicholas Hoult away from me. We have been through it! She is a bonafide movie star and we need that shit and I am happy we have her. And I am glad we have her back after a little break with an actual honest-to-goodness comedy -- click here to read my review of No Hard Feelings at Mashable. (This went up on Friday but I wasn't here to link to it on Friday so y'all get it now.) The movie is stupid and cheesy and I laughed my ass off anyway. It is what it is, people!


Five Frames From ?






What movie is this?