First things first, how have I still not yet watched Idris Elba's 2019 Netflix series Turn Up Charlie, which appears to involve a lot of him being on the beach in and out of various tank tops and brightly colored swimming trunks? Woe is my fucking life, man. Have you, you person reading this, watched it? I mean given the above gif I could give an ever flying fuck if the show's actually good or not, but I welcome your opinion in the comments.
Moving on, second things second! Idris has just signed on to star in a movie appropriately titled Beast, but it won't just be like two hours of him in a boxing ring like it could be (see this glorious previous post of mine for proof) -- they have a story in mind. Boring! Okay maybe not it sounds fun -- they're calling it The Shallows but with a lion. The Shallows, if you're somehow unaware of that feat of profound cinema, was that movie where Blake Lively got trapped on a dinghy by a killer shark. For serious though The Shallows was way more fun than it had any right being. And Idris Elba versus a fucking lion? Sign me up!