Look at the Pretty Fireworks Ooh

.

Okay so I haven't been paying attention - that happens when you have no immediate plans - and I didn't realize until this afternoon that this here ahead of us is a holiday weekend. Or it is for me, anyway - the holiday itself isn't until Tuesday so some of you might not have this spectacular luxury but I am personally off until Wednesday. I mean I'm not going anywhere, but I'm still off. I'm just off, dammit! God. So anyway MNPP will be static until then, unless I get too exhausted lounging around watching Okja over and over and over between now and then, which...

... I doubt will happen. But if y'all need to pretend I am whispering in your ear before you go to the movies or anything just go re-read my review of The Little Hours ... or my review of Beatriz at Dinner ... or my review of Baby Driver ... or my review of The Beguiled ... or my review of The Bad Batch ... and then you'll know what to do. Or not. I am not the boss of you. God. Bye!
.

Hail Mary Full of Laughs

.

If ever a movie was made to be called "BAWDY!" on its poster, The Little Hours is that movie, and delightfully so. (Also possibly "RIBALD!" in a pinch?) It stars Aubrey Plaza, Allison Brie, Kate Micucci, and Molly Shannon as four of the nutty brunette nuns running roughshod over a 14th Century convent and the priest (a piously pickled  John C. Reilly) in charge, slamming their vows like soiled habits against the stones. They curse, they fornicate, they lift up their heavy skirts and ride the Deadly Sins (also Dave Franco) donkey-style across the picturesque Italian countryside - it's Hee Haw for heretics!

This sort of thing could've been slight, a threadbare SNL skit - watch out for those crazy nuns! - and at times it flirts with that, but director Jeff Baene also has a beautiful eye and the landscape is really very breathtaking - there's a sweet frisson to the goofiness of the manic happenings rubbing up against the sun-dappled 70s feel of the thing that come across individual and fresh. Baene keeps his camera wide and lets these big characters play out against this big landscape, and there's something delicious and cinematic about it. 

So no, it's not going to overthrow our shit-stained government and usher in a new and profound era of peace and light, but The Little Hours is ninety straight minutes of Dave Franco's spectacular cleavage getting pawed at by a cloister-full of frolicsome comediennes cut loose and extra groovy, and that's plenty for my forlorn soul this summer. I feel saved for now.

(If you missed our pics from last night's Little Hours event with Plaza & Franco click here for that!)

.

Holy Shit They Did It

.

I really didn't think the fan campaign to annoy Netflix into the ground about their cancellation of Sense8 would amount to anything, not after so much pain over the years over niche shows gone too soon, so fuck my face for doubting the power of the internet's staunchest annoyers - they got it done! DH has word (right from Lana Wachowski herself) that Netflix will do the smart thing, business and sense-wise, and give the series a proper conclusion (after a cliffhanger ended the 2nd season) with a 2-hour finale special! It will air some time next year. Hurray! Somebody find me Miguel Angel Silvestre to make out with (or Alfonso Herrera) (or Brian J. Smith) (or Max Reimelt) (or hell I'd make out with Doona Bae) immediately!

Pics of the Day

.

A few of my favorite things gathered in one neat little convenient spot last night - Aubrey Plaza and Dave Franco, human joke machines, showed up at the storied Rare Book Room of the Strand Bookstore (shelves shelves shelves!) along with their Little Hours director Jeff Baena to read a trio of passages from Giovanni Boccaccio's 1353 opus The Decameron, upon which Baena based his "Nuns Gone Wild" film, which is out in some theaters tomorrow. In case you missed the film's trailer, click here. 

Anyway this was a strange and wonderful thing to witness, a clash of millennial sarcasm and great literature, and I wouldn't have missed it for the world, and so... I didn't, as these photographs make clear. I also posted a video snippet of Aubrey reading on my Instagram right here, and a video snippet of Dave reading on my Instagram right here. You should see The Little Hours -- I'm planning on reviewing the movie in a bit, so stay tuned for that. But first...

.

Hey look it is Timothee Chalamet pic.twitter.com/tfXhezLtQc

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) June 29, 2017

.

... I do just have to share that! I have no idea why Call Me By Your Name leading man Timothée Chalamet was in the audience but he definitely seemed to be there with one of the people on stage because he left with them as they left. But I managed to snap that quick shot of him, and can I just say that he is stunning in person - on film he looks young (which yes I keep getting shit for every time I post about him) and awkward, which is perfect for the role in Call Me By Your Name, but in person... wow. Not a bad angle.
.

Run Patrick Run

.

Today is conspiring to get me especially flustered - it's difficult to focus on the proper movie things that I need to get accomplished with extracurricular movie shit like "Rupert Friend in boxers" and "Morgan Spector's Penis" and now "Patrick Wilson jogging with his top off" flaunting themselves at my easily distractable eyeballs. (via) This is the second time PW's been spotted flaunting himself half-naked on or near the Aquaman set in Australia - click here for the other time - which is making me think he's feeling self-conscious, starring opposite a mountain of muscles like Momoa. Patty, my love, you're everything. You're always gonna be everything. No worries allowed. Click here for five more pics...

Do Dump or Marry: W Men

.

W Magazine has a super hot gallery of photographs of actors steaming up our TV screens in its latest issue that Alasdair McLellan shot, and I grabbed my three favorites - Homeland's Rupert Friend above and The Night Of's Riz Ahmed + Big Little Lies' Alexander Skarsgard below, but there are more over at their site worth checking out (Milo Ventimiglia and James Franco and I don't know who Johnny Flynn is but I want to now) and that's not even mentioning the ladies, so check out the entire shebang here. Anyway since I picked three let's Do Dump or Marry them in the comments!

Five Frames From ?

.

What movie is this?

.

Good Morning, Gratuitous Morgan Spector

.

I wish I could say that Morgan Spector's been on my mind ever since I saw him on-stage opposite Charlie Cox last year in that play Incognito - it wouldn't be a lie to say he caught my eye up there on that stage, but I was there for Charlie, let's be real. 

And it might be true that me getting around to this post was brought on by this week's tepid viewing of the first episode of The Mist, which I made reference to yesterday - I know that Morgan is better than what he's being handed there. 

But it is actually a conspiracy between two things that's finally got me doing this post. One, Morgan is in that movie Permission that I reviewed at Tribeca (and which I called "surprisingly sexy" in the bald hopes of getting a poster whore quote) that also stars Dan Stevens and Rebecca Hall and Gena Gershon (not to mention Francois Arnaud's Penis) and which is, and I quote myself, "surprisingly sexy." 

And bringing a lot of that sex to the film is Morgan himself, who plays Hall's brother's boyfriend and who saunters around the film half-naked a lot and has a hot gay sex scene to boot.

The second conspiratorial factor in today's post is the fact that I only recently (as in a couple of weeks ago, long after seeing Permission) found out that Morgan is married to his co-star Rebecca Hall, and I am obsessed with them, as individuals and a couple, now. There was a really fascinating profile on Hall in The New Yorker a few weeks ago - did any of you read it? And she comes off as, in my boyfriend's words (and he didn't even read the article) "a superior human." Not in that obnoxious better-than-you way, but in that definitely better than all of us way that one should aspire towards. She is smart and she paints - really good paintings too! - and she is a fine actress and she has this regal bearing about her that I love, and she married Morgan Spector the end.

She is smart. Okay I am besotted, it's true. Hall was so so so spectacular in Christine last year though, so I have excuses, and coming along for the ride is this great big hot man she has attached to herself. And here we are. I had to rush this post a little bit - as I gathered it up this morning I realized it was going to be afternoon by the time I got it finished if I didn't, and what good is a "Good Morning" post is it's in the afternoon? Still there's plenty more after the jump (like almost 100 more, and it gets pretty NSFW at that) so hit the jump for plenty more...

Heaven's Sakes Is That a Spot

.

An inky blight spreads across the azure blue of the Pacific Ocean - like the tar beast of Creepshow 2 gone fishin' that inhuman stain is just waiting for some sucker to stick their foot in, just waiting for meat. And Beatriz at Dinner offers up a sacrificial feast to it - Mike White and Miguel Arteta, the duo behind Chuck & Buck and The Good Girl, have the napkins pressed and the knives sharpened and much like Karyn Kusama's film The Invitation last year we're all invited to dine heartily upon their Californian malcontent.

Beatriz, as played by Salma Hayek styled as Cecilia Giménez' reworked Ecce Homo, is a broken saint - her patience frayed, her car crippled, and her favorite bedroom goat strangled dead. For all her outward serenity her aura is static - on the fritz. But unlike the blonde sun-dressed Amy Jellicoes of the world who can absentmindedly spin off their axis, Beatriz is a small brown woman in big white world, and as such she's forced to say it all with a head tilt, and a slow back into the scenery.

Until she doesn't. This Dinner is one dinner too much - what's on the menu is destiny and despair and wine, in equal helpings. (Okay maybe the wine there's a bit more of.) At the opposite end of the table sits the human stain - a slab of 100% prime and pure Grade-A American Horror Story, tender and juicy and joyfully masticated, in the ever and always splendidly weaselly form of John Lithgow, chewing life up feet first.

Sit back and go wow, watching these two spark. In some alternate dimension this is a love story, so perfectly horribly matched are they, but we live on Planet Earth and so romance, dead in its watery grave, is usurped by that other penetrative act called violence - natural laws are pumped dry and we dream of ninja sly rescues in their wake. And if not we drink and we smoke and we foam at the mouth instead.
.

Who Will Top, Hugh or Ansel?

.

Lord knows there's nothing Hugh Jackman likes more than being pressed up against a twink, so we're giving him what he wants. (Honestly if Hugh wants to share we'll give him what he wants any ol' day of the week, but we digress.) We're pressing him up against lucky twink Ansel Elgort today due to a couple of timely coincidences -- firstly they're both in the news since Ansel's film Baby Driver (my review) is out now, while the trailer for The Greatest Showman dropped this morning...

.

.

... which was honestly like nails on a chalkboard to me...

.

I can't even begin to put words to how deeply my person-hood is offended watching the GLEE'ing up of the real world circus freakshow

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) June 28, 2017

... but what do I know? I'll just go happily re-watch Tod Browning's Freaks for the hundredth time, and you should go read Nat's take on the trailer over at The Film Experience; this movie's way more in his wheelhouse than it is mine. 

Anyway that's not all pushing these two hunka hunkas in our face today -- secondly Hugh has signed up to play former Senator Gary Hart (whose presidential run was ruined by an affair in the 80s) in a film from director Jason Reitman, while Ansel has signed on to play no less than President John F. Kennedy (the twink version, obviously) in a story about his time in the Navy.

Hugh and Ansel are both pretty good casting for those particular politicians, I think. Ya think? But since both the fellas are out here selling what they're mamas gave 'em today I figured we'll buy a little bit of it and ask y'all...

.

Queen of the Castle

.

Human shaped ball of perfection Melanie Lynskey has just signed on to star in the leading role of Castle Rock, the Stephen King anthology television show that Hulu is putting together, and Castle Rock has just like that - POOF! - become my most anticipated show of the immediate future. Thing is I was already planning on doing a post about this show because they had announced earlier this week that Sissy fuckin' Spacek - CARRIE WHITE HERSELF - had signed on for this show and that, THAT ALREADY, was a corker. But now, well, I'm overcome with the awesomeness. 

Oh and the other actors also attached to the show? Moonlight and The Knick star (and consummate smoker of cigarettes) Andre Holland, and the great "Female Ash" actress Jane Levy. I was rooting for Levy to get the lead role in the new Lisbeth Salander movie since her director-muse Fede Alvarez is set to direct that - she would've been great - but they cast The Crown actress Claire Foy instead. Anyway point being if I am actively rooting for Levy to get roles I must like her, and I do.

But speaking of "Stephen King Horror Television Shows" I asked this on Twitter last night but nobody copped to it - is anybody watching The Mist? I suffered through the first episode and I don't know if I can keep going - I like Morgan Spector a lot and I want to root for him, but the show is suffering from some serious Under the Dome half-assery. Should I bother to keep watching or should I run now before I get dragged through three wretched seasons like I did with the Dome? Whatever the case I hope that the folks making Castle Rock are learning lessons from these shows showing how not to adapt King to the small screen.

Great Moments in Movie Shelves #106

.

It is Kathy Bates' birthday today! Huzzah! Any reason to celebrate one of our favorite actresses is always welcome, and so I thought today we'd take a look at... well, yeah, the obvious one. I know I've talked about Misery til the cockadoodie cows came home, but (in my best Jerri Blank voice) I got somethin' new to say.

Specifically -- how great is Annie Wilkes' little Paul Sheldon shrine? It's all in the details -- I love that she has the Misery Chastain novels in both hard and soft cover (like any proper Number One Fan would) and I love her choices in photographs. I mean why the hell would this crappy pulp fiction writer have met the queen? But that was a real picture of Jimmy Caan that they had access to...

... since he really did meet Queen Elizabeth, alongside Barbra Streisand (oh my god Babs, that outfit) and Jimmy Stewart. Anyway those are all obviously real pictures of James Caan that they adopted for the movie; I suppose that was simpler in 1990 than crudely photo-shopping him into anything (today's fun fact: Photoshop was invented in 1988.) All that said...

... the pièce de résistance up there is clearly the

Cat Frame that looks like it is violently devouring him.

What I love about Annie's stalker shelf is it's the second All Paul Sheldon Shelf that we see in the movie -- his editor (played by some blonde woman, I don't know) also has her own Paul Sheldon Stalker Shelf in her office. But she's even fancier - she has a French Edition Poster! Ooh la la, Betty.

Anyway a second before we see Annie's shelf we get this great sight-gag of Paul looking around the house - the framed picture of Liberace makes me bust out laughing every time I watch the film, and then the stuffed pig, and then the great big red (I might have known it would be red) photo-album with the words MEMORY LANE stamped across it that is propped up proudly on Annie's desk - and of course it's filled with every sordid detail of her ol' villainous baby-murdering lifestyle...

... because that's how bad people do. And that banner on the second page that says "ANOTHER BABY" is spectacular, truly spectacular. I can only imagine the good black-comedy cackling the set decorator (Garrett Lewis, who also did the sets for Beaches and Steel Magnolias and Pretty Woman! I wanna hang out with him!) had when he dressed up that bit.

Later on when Annie & Paul have dinner together Paul is placed so he's become a prop himself inside of Annie's Paul Sheldon Museum - a perfect subtle choice from director Rob Reiner, in a movie that, well, isn't always so subtle. 

Happy birthday, Kathy Bates!!!

.

Alessandro's Birthday Mustache Rides

.

Red Sea Diving Resort might not be the sexy wet-suit movie that title promises but as we told you - excuse me, as Michiel Husiman's Bare Torso told you - it does have quite the sexy cast with Huisman and Chris Evans and yes, Alessandro Nivola, seen above showing off his Resort mustache good and proper. We approve, but next time ditch the tank, boss. The mustache would play really well nestled amid that much lauded chest hair.

Oh and happy 45, Alessandro!

.

Five Frames From ?

.

What movie is this?

.