Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Anatomy IN A Scene Whole Movie

So somehow there existed a movie in the world that starred (well, co-starred) my beloved Michael Schoeffling (best known to most people as Molly Ringwald's Sixteen Candles object of affection Jake Ryan, or maybe the bus driver that drove Winona Ryder to sin in Mermaids) as a wrestler. We're talking singlets, man-on-man rolling around, the works. And somehow, I did not know this was! Sure, I'd heard of Vision Quest, I'd seen the fruity box cover at the video store since I was a kid. But Matthew Modine, who I knew was the film's star, had never been enough of an incentive for a rental.

But just last week I stumbled upon knowledge of Michael Schoeffling's involvement in the film (yes, I should've dissected and studied his IMDb page long ago; my bad), and I immediately rectified this situation. And because I am thinking of you, the children, the other ones who also never knew such a wonder existed until now, well it's my job to educate. To let this never happen again! Michael Schoeffling is in Vision Quest! And god bless us all, Vison Quest is a really fucking gay movie. How gay is it, you ask? Here are a couple of visual clues. The villain is this dude:

And he's shot like Eastern European porn every time he's on-screen. He also has a tendency to surprise our hero in the restroom.

In one of the earliest scenes in the film, Matthew Modine's character is felt up by a customer at the hotel he works at, under the guise of impulsive yoga.

Modine's reaction is to push the man off, and to then bust into a fit of push-ups. Weird!

And Oscar winner Forest Whitaker plays a fellow wrestler named "Balldozer."

But to our main attraction. The relationship between Modine and Michael Shoeffling's characters - Schoeffling's named Kuch! - is tre gay. They're always all over each other in a way I did not mind looking at at all. Indeed, I've documented it in approximately five thousand pictures below. I'm not exaggerating; I could not stop taking grabs. There are an obscene number of images captured below. He's... just... so... lovely. Even with that terrifying hair and bizarre Native American fetish. Speaking of his odd look, I'm guessing Jared Leto's a fan of Schoeffling's as well, since his look in the movie Highway (co-starring Jake Gyllenhaal!) was so obviously inspired by our Kuch:

But mostly this is just an excuse to get more pictures of pretty pretty Michael Schoeffling on the internet, because the online shrines to him are seriously lacking. I do my duty, y'all.

It should be noted, that in that weigh-in scene - god bless that weigh-in scene, by the way - that Matthew Modine is supposed to be butt-naked as Kuch and friend caress and grab at him. It should be noted.

But if all that isn't gay enough for you to understand this is one of the gayest movies ever made outside of hardcore gay porn, the movie crams in fucking Madonna!

Gay! Gay! Gayest gay to ever gay! Also, Daphne Zuniga!

My gaydar just went Chernobyl, y'all.


FDot said...

Well, if you ever want to try to find his furniture store in PA, I'd be up for that adventure.

Anonymous said...

This is SO going to the top of my Netflix queue.

Please most more pics of Jared and Jake from whatevermoviethatwas!

Agnes B said...

He can drive me to sin any day.

Pax Romano said...

I went to college with a women who was dating Michael Schoeffling's brother (he's from Medford Lakes, NJ), and his brother was as hot as he was.

Willo said...

love your blog just for shit like this. awesome and funny.

Anonymous said...

I am watching this movie as type this. I came here after searching for 'Is vision quest the most gay movie ever?', and I have to say I got everything I hoped for and more.

Anonymous said...

Who directed this? I hope it was John Hughes. That would be awesome if he made a gay-themed movie to round out the 80s-idealized straight high school romances.

Jason Adams said...

Harold Becker directed it, anon. He also directed Taps and Malice and Domestic Disturbance, I guess. Not John Hughes, unfortunately.

Unknown said...

thank god for your blog. trolling the internet looking for pictures of michael just got a whole lot easier.

glows said...

Glad you posted this because I was trying to find Michael Schoeffling screencaps as Kuch and here they are! As much as I enjoy Vision Quest there are a lot of blatant gay tones to the film.

Anonymous said...

if you notice, Modine's character is offered some shoes by the salesman who makes a pass at him... then later in the movie, Michael's character points out that he likes Modine's "new shoes". You figure it out...!

MOE22 said...


valio said...

Hi, love your blog by the way.

I was searching at your blog for Matthew Modine in the "Married to the mob" to see if there is any stills plus your comment on his wardrobe malfunction in this movie. I remember seen that years ago, quite funny how the edit missed that :)

Here i found the scene on YouTube. Watch at 2:17 :)

Cheers :)