Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Today's Mood

Happy All Hallows Eve!


The Hitchhiker (Edwin Neal),
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre

"My family's always been in meat."

And thus endeth my month of Today's Moods from my williest horror films. Shoot The Projectionist posted the final list of 31 Flicks That Give You The Willies today, voted on by many, many people, and it turned out terrifically, so make sure you head over there and check it out!
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Thursday's Halloween's Ways Not To Die

It's a Very Special Holiday Edition! And it's massive. Below are 33 different deaths (well, 32 and a bonus) from 16 different films. See how many of the movies you can identify! There are films repeated within, obviously, but - and this isn't me challenging you to strain your brains - I really don't expect anyone to be able to guess what films every single one of these are from. I most assuredly wouldn't be able to if I hadn't sought them all out myself. But name what ones you can in the comments!

Night of the Living Dead (1968) -- guessed by kamikaze camel

Pet Semetery -- guessed by sparky2379

Resident Evil -- guessed by sparky2379

Return of the Living Dead -- guessed by sparky2379

Shaun of the Dead -- guessed by kamikaze camel

Cemetery Man -- guessed by ghouliejulie

Day of the Dead -- guessed by sparky2379

Dead Alive -- guessed by pilar

Land of the Dead -- guessed by shaun

28 Days Later -- guessed by sparky2379

Return of the Living Dead -- guessed by sparky2379

Zombie Lake

Day of the Dead -- guessed by sparky2379

28 Weeks Later -- guessed by shaun

Dawn of the Dead (1978) -- guessed by kamikaze camel

Land of the Dead -- guessed by sparky2379

Dead Alive -- guessed by pilar

Resident Evil -- guessed by sparky2379

Return of the Living Dead: Part 2 -- half-guessed by sparky2379

Land of the Dead -- guessed by shaun

Dawn of the Dead (2004) -- guessed by kamikaze camel

Night of the Living Dead (1968) -- guessed by kamikaze camel

Shaun of the Dead -- guessed by kamikaze camel

28 Weeks Later -- guessed by shaun

Dead Alive -- guessed by pilar

Dawn of the Dead (1978) -- guessed by kamikaze camel

Dawn of the Dead (2004) -- guessed by kamikaze camel

Resident Evil -- guessed by sparky2379

Day of the Dead -- guessed by sparky2379

Shaun of the Dead -- guessed by kamikaze camel

Land of the Dead -- guessed by sparky2379

Night of the Living Dead -- guessed by sparky2379

Homecoming -- guessed by sparky2379

And Happy Halloween to y'all!!!

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Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Eli's What To Watch

Somehow I missed this last week over at The Onion AV Club, but director and love-o-mine Eli Roth programmed a 24-hour Horror Film Festival that basically kicks all kinds of ass. If I weren't A) an old man, and B) employed like a "responsible" "adult," I would so be spending all day tomorrow doing just this. You can read what he has to say on each of the films over here, but here's the list of films he says to watch:

12 Noon - The Thing (1982)
2pm - Zombie (1979)
4pm - The Vanishing (1988)
6pm - Pieces (1982)
8pm - The Wicker Man (1973)
10pm - Who Can Kill A Child? (1976)
Midnight - Eraserhead (1977)
2am - Suspiria (1977)
4am - Cannibal Holocaust (1980)
6am - Toby Dammit (1968)
6:30am - The Evil Dead (1981)
8am - Audition (1999)
10am - Torso (1973)

I've seen about half of these before, and the other half I've wanted to see for ages. I would so do this if I weren't, well, all the things I listed before. My actual plans for All Hallows involve a screening at MoMA of George Romero's Night of the Living Dead, which ain't too shabby a way to spend the evening though.

What movies do y'all plan on screening to get yourselves good and spooked?
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5 Off The Top Of My Head - Bond. Hot Bond.

Look at this front page! Nary a gratuitous picture in sight. I've been stupid lax this past week or so with the guy-ogling, my apologies. So I'm taking the news that Daniel Craig has signed on for four more James Bond films - making five total (for now) - as inspiration for five reasons why we should be looking forward to what's to come... in the most superficial manner possible, of course.

1: More opportunities for Daniel Craig
to run towards the camera in short swimming trunks.


2: More opportunities for Daniel Craig
to run away from the camera in short trunks.


3: Um... he can lay down in short trunks, too.


4: There sure are a lot of things he can do in short trunks...


5: Naked torture scenes, duh.


(yes these are pictures we've all seen a thousand times before,
but if you've grown tired of them then I think you're probably dead inside)

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Today's Mood

Happy October 30th, y'all.


Carrie White (Sissy Spacek),
Carrie

"Breasts, Mama. They're called breasts,
and every woman has them."
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Monday, October 29, 2007

Gay Day

November 19th, 2007 is going to be a very gay day round these here internets - last week, QTA announced their first blogathon, The Queer Film Blogathon, for that date, and you can bet your bottom dollar that myself and loads of The Blogs That Matter will be flexing our Queer Cinema muscles in a brawny display of Gay Movie Might.

Head over to QTA for the official announcement and to see heaps upon scores of ideas upon which one could lay their post's foundation upon. It's such a wide open topic that I'll be surprised to see any post-overlap, and should make for great reading.

Y'all - every last one of you - should join up! I'm sure even you weirdos who profess to be heterosexual might have something worthwhile on the topic to say, too.
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Teen Horniness Is Not A Crime

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The NY Times has an article on Richard Kelly and his quickly approaching motion picture Southland Tales that's definitely worth checking out if you're a Kelly-devotee like myself. I was especially amused - and anxious to buy my own copy - by this part:

"“Southland Tales” simulates the over-saturation of the 21st-century mediascape and delights in, even as it mocks, the vulgar absurdities of celebrity culture. Ms. Gellar’s character, for example, is a multitasking, politically minded sex-film star — “Jenna Jameson meets Arianna Huffington,” Mr. Kelly said — with a “View”-like talk show and a hit song called “Teen Horniness Is Not a Crime” (co-written by Mr. Kelly and to be released as a single)."

Hee! That's a whole lotta possibly-terrible wonderfulness, and I must have it.
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Score!

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I accomplished one of My Life's Goals
this past weekend!

I made a pregnant woman,
who'd never seen it before,
watch Rosemary's Baby!

I'm spreading trauma where ever I go!
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I Am Monday's Fright-Week Link

Well, Halloween's just two shopping days away, and if you didn't get your scare on over the weekend here are some links that'll maybe get you in the mood.

--- The latest Horror Roundtable at The Horror Blog asked us to describe our worst Halloween costumes. Mine comes from the not-too-distant past, and taught me a valuable lesson on how alcohol consumption and make-up application should not go hand in hand.

--- Joe continues his horror-gorge at Low Resolution with viewings of some of the finest scare-flicks around, including Halloween, Evil Dead 2, and (yeah, I said it) Final Destination 2.... speaking of the latter, his description of the edits that SciFi did to the movie for television pains me to the core of my very being. I'm so forcing you to watch it again on DVD, Joe!

--- Reverse Shot reviews one of my favorite scary-ish movies, Paperhouse, and it's nice to see it get some credit for being as fine a flick as a flick can be outside of the usual places. (via Sean)

--- Aaron at Electronic Cerebrectomy made one of the finer posts on "The Movies That Scared Me" that I've seen - I especially enjoyed his list because of all the non-traditional choices, from Pinnochio to Robocop. All terrific.

--- If you've been feeling the itch to do The Monster Mash this week, head over to Penny Dreadful, where there's the Spooky Song Mix to end all Spooky Song Mixes available for free download.
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Today's Mood

Happy October 28th, y'all.


Heather Donahue (as herself),
The Blair Witch Project

"I'm afraid to close my eyes,
I'm afraid to open them."

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Friday, October 26, 2007

Kick Ass Island

That's what the island on Lost will be known as now that the incredible Zoe Bell - you might know her as the hood-dangling dynamo in Death Proof - is coming ashore!

You can read the whole article here, via AICN.

Awesome news. I wanna watch her kick Kate's ass!
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Yesterday (All My Troubles Seem So Far Away)

Hard to believe, even to myself realizing it now, but last night's Hostel screening for the NYC Horror Film Festival turned out to be the first Horror Event (i.e. genre-specific circle-jerk) that I've ever gone to. And I'll be goddamned if it didn't feel right. Know what I mean? Like, these are my people; I've found my home! When I went to ComiCon a few years back that was the same sort of feeling, only now even more specialized. It's like the tingling I get in my toes whilst walking through the huge Halloween store here in NYC on Broadway; like the Fangoria in my mind has exploded outwards. A wonderful feeling.

Anyway, if that was paragraph wasn't indication enough, I had an incredible time last night. Before Hostel we were treated to four independent horror shorts, all of which were far better than I anticipated - in my mind I'd been expecting something more student film-y I guess. But these were terrifically entertaining, each in their own way. Here's a brief glance at each:

Foet (Ian Fischer, 2001, 18 min.) - The title, pronounced "feet," is the brand name for the hottest new accessory in New York... if you've seen Dumplings, you'll see where it's going. Very funny.

Criticized (Richard Gale, 2006, 18 min.) - I can't very well criticize a film about a filmmaker getting revenge on a critic for a negative review, now can I? Not that I really have anything negative to say - one caveat: having the critic explicitly state that he was a failed screenwriter who couldn't get his own stuff made and that was his reason for becoming a critic felt a little, I dunno, obvious a way to go for me. Still, Criticized was terrifically funny and the mode of vengeance is clever, hysterical, and awfully cringe-inducing all at once.

Far Out (Phil Mucci, 2007, 5 min.) - A definite excerise in style over substance, but at five minutes long that's hardly a problem, especially when it's so well put together. Think of what you'd see if one of the girls in Beyond the Valley of the Dolls had been a vampire and you've got what you get here. The psychedelic effects of the period are all beautifully recreated.

Halfway (Karl Holt, 6 min.) - The last short shown was the only one of the program to go straight for scary and not try to be funny as well, which I didn't even realize had been the case until I found myself, somewhere in its six minute span, genuinely unnerved. It's difficult to synopsize exactly what the story is - basically it involves a man tied up in a strange room, video equipment, and a moving sack. Eerie stuff, with a good couple of jumps; major props go to the editing for taking a route that usually annoys me - shaky camera work and lots of jump-cutting - and making it work really well.

And then it was time for the main feature! We got to watch the Director's Cut of Hostel, which just came out on DVD this past Tuesday, and I must say it fixes a lot of the issues I had with the original cut. My main problem with Hostel had been the ending, which - no matter how hard I tried, and I did try - I just couldn't get the icky taste out of my mouth of an audience cheering on the murder of a character explicitly coded to be gay. Yes, said gay character is a vicious killer himself (funny that that's not what bothers me at all, huh?). Yes, I got that Roth's intention was, as he said in the Q&A, to turn our hero into something as brutal as what he'd faced, and to make the audience realize that the things they'd just been horrified by earlier they were now cheering on. Problem is, I never really felt that Roth got that point across well enough with his original ending; what we got instead was the catharsis of vengeance, and specifically the catharsis of seeing our ultra-heterosexual - and seriously homophobic - hero kick ass against the gay villain that had murdered his best friend - a best friend that seemed to begin questioning his own sexuality with the arrival of this gay villain. And all of this final-scene-violence took place on a public toilet, which, well ask Senator Larry Craig about what that particular place can signify within closeted gay male culture.

So the film fascinated me with all of these odd undertones floating around in it, but the original ending just kept tipping me to an uncomfortable place that I really wished it had found a way around, because I really felt it was saying something that Roth didn't mean to say. As good as his intentions were - and I do believe, especially in light of the things he discussed in the Q&A, that he was sincerely trying to work out some of these things on-screen - I felt the explosive catharsis offered in that original ending of violence overwhelmed any niggling questions of right versus wrong, for that moment. Going back and re-watching the film a few times more it got easier to dissect the ending and see how Roth was aiming to disturb us with our original blood-thirsty cries for vengeance, but I still never really believed that the majority of people watching the film would find themselves analyzing their reaction as much as I had. Most people left on a high note - a note of that translated roughly to "the evil fag got what was coming to him."

But then, I've explained all those trepidations before. This Director's Cut changes the playing field entirely, and I think I love it. There were little changes throughout the film, adds and edits, but the major change was the ending. I won't get into specifics in case anyone reading this wants to see it for themselves - and I certainly hope that if anyone's read this far they have an interest in seeing it for themselves - but what Roth does is, in the vaguest sense, eliminate all of that troubling catharsis and replace it with something much more sinister. So instead of leaving the film with the elation of seeing the bad guy get it, ooh-rah, which I thought trampled any ambiguity Roth might have intended, what we get is an action by our hero that I can't imagine even the blood-thirstiest of audience members getting behind. There is no huge gory spectacle at the end - just a quiet, horrifying action that's much more disturbing, in the right way, to me.

So what can I say about the Q&A after the film? If you've ever read an interview with Eli Roth or seen him on television then you know he's an immensely charming fellow who knows horror cinema probably as well as anybody on the planet. He spoke for a good long while, maybe around an hour, and never lagged with his enthusiasm, and never stopped with the good humor - although he did interject one blink-and-you'd-miss-it reference to the negative reception of Hostel: Part II, which otherwise, unfortunately, went unmentioned. Even when some putz in the audience basically implied that he's a sell-out for making mainstream horror movies and could do crazier shit if he didn't worry about the MPAA like [insert name-dropping of obscure indie horror films here], Eli (can I call you Eli? Thanks!) explained that if he's able to push the boundaries of what is successful in Hollywood then maybe the studios will throw money at other horror filmmakers out there. He did flirt a little with self-aggrandizement there but he's forgiven because omg can I just tell you how hot he is in person???

Ahem. No, this won't turn into one of those posts, where I get all schoolgirl-giggly over his lithe biceps or tight jeans..... what was I talking about? I was sitting in the very first row - the better to eat you with, my dear - so he was about three feet away from me the entire Q&A, and honestly the fact that I've remembered as much of what he said as I've already told is a miracle. Call the Vatican, I'm a fucking Saint.

Eli told some great stories about his time at NYU - the screening was on their campus - and talked briefly about Trailer Trash, his next film, that will be a feature-length string of fake movie trailers a la his Thanksgiving trailer from Grindhouse. He told us one of the trailer ideas - dependent upon Mr. Tim Allen's involvement, naturally.

And after the Q&A he stood outside of the theater taking pictures and signing autographs and just generally coming off like the coolest guy alive. If y'all can't tell - my crush? Multiplied ten-fold.
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