Good Morning, World

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You guys are watching Episodes on Showtime right? I mean it only remains, in its fourth season, one of the funniest shows on television, is all. I thought maybe you liked to laugh. Well if you are (a smart person and you are) watching Episodes then last week you met the Dutch writer Arjen Van Der Linden, who sold his show to the same network that our main characters, Beverly and Sean, have their show (now shows) on. 

Uhhhhhh. He'd been on-screen for less than a minute before I'd looked him up (and found the naked pictures)... the actor's name is Barry Atsma and he is actually Dutch - well clearly he is Dutch; you can't fake how Dutch he looks. I mean he played Vincent Van Gogh in a movie and they don't let any Thom, Dick, or Johan play Vincent Van Gogh, ya know? And he got naked with Carice Van Houten in a movie, which appears to be a Dutch rite of passage.

But he was born in England, so maybe you can? Fake Dutch, I mean. I don't know. Here's some bio info in case you give a shit: "He lived as a child in England, Greece, Brazil and the Netherlands and learned at a very young age how to speak English and Portugese."

Yawn. Now that the "reporting" part is done, let's look at pictures! I gathered up a bunch so, you know, hit the jump and that's where the pictures will be.

Wet Hot Hamm

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I think each and everyone of us should check our email, maybe our spam folders if we don't see it right away, because it's pretty clear that the Netflix sequel-thing to Wet Hot American Summer is inviting every single person on Earth to be in it. They've just announced a new batch of names, and yes the handsome Hamm seen above is there, and also Kristen Wiig, Jason Schwartzman, and Chris Pine. This is on top of all the original folks, plus that other group announced a couple of weeks ago. Oh and in case you missed the teaser trailer, which is basically just a roll-call acknowledgment of all the gigantic names present and accounted for, here:

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On Top Of Groff Mountain

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By the time I got around to watching this week's episode of Looking the internet had already been flooded with an entirely pleasant flood of gifs from Russell Tovey and Jonathan Groff's latest humping sesh, so just click here if you'd like those. There is one thing I noticed though, absence-wise that is (you might say a hole that needs filling in, even)...

... nobody's seemed to note the fact that Russell is
quite plainly, you know, excited to be there.
And wouldn't we all be!
That is, quite obviously The Place To Be.

Get The Schitts

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Have any of you guys watched any of Schitt's Creek yet? I believe I mentioned it back when I first heard about it but if you're all "Schitt's what???" here: Schitt's Creek is a new Canadian television comedy created by Eugene Levy and his son Dan Levy, starring the two of them and Catherine O'Hara and Annie Murphy as the Rose family; it's basically a reverse-Beverly Hillbillies - they were super-rich but lose all their money and get thrust into the boonies, a comic little community called Schitt's Creek. If you follow me on Twitter you've seen me going off the rails about how hysterically funny it is.

Shocking absolutely nobody who's ever seen her in anything, Catherine O'Hara is so funny on the show that you'll realize that nobody else in the history of comedy has ever been funny and never will, in comparison. Alright okay hyperbole aside, everybody else on the show's fantastic too - I especially like Daniel Levy, who's had a couple of small roles before this but does a terrific job underplaying the gay straight man of the family. 

Oh and then there's homelessy Mutt:

Yeah I got your attention now, don't I? 

Tim Rozon plays the local hippie stud, 

and you should keep on the look-out for him. 

Anyway the show's only on in Canada right now (well legally it's only on in Canada, I say from New York) but it will be coming to an American TV screen near you very soon! Some channel called Pop (look it up, you've probably got it, I hadn't heard of it til I looked it up last night and it is indeed a channel way up the cable-box) will start airing the show on February 11th! Set your DVRs accordingly; it's super super funny. And bonus, the show's already been renewed for a second season, because there are literally no other shows made in Canada - hooray!

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Five Frames From ?

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ETA here are five more frames, since
nobody's guessed yesterday's yet!

What movie is this?

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Which Is Hotter?

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Elijah Wood: Dirty Maniac or Classy Victim?

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poll by twiigs.com

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Happy 34, Elijah!

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Today's Fanboy Delusion

Today I'd rather be...

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... licking wounds with Jonathan Tucker.

I was going to say "as if the bloody half-naked pictures in Adon magazine weren't enough (part one here and part two here) now we get a behind-the-scenes video to further blow our, uh, minds to," but come on, nothing's really enough. Especially when it concerns a bloody half-naked Jonathan Tucker!

Massive thanks to our pal Jarett for sending this along - if you hit the jump I'll share the video along with oh let's say dozens and dozens of caps since that's what we do. Well that and have terribly dirty thoughts about this entire enterprise, of course.

Quote of the Day

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"I don’t think Ewan is as proud of his penis as most men who are as well hung would — or should — or could be. And the fact that McGregor won’t tell you about his huge dick himself is a sign of his fine moral character. I think that’s the greatest demonstration of his innate humility, that he doesn’t wear it like a badge of honor."

Yes that is indeed Colin Farrell talking about Ewan McGregor's dick. (via) We live in a blessed age. Thing is, it's not like Colin's got anything to be, well, immoral about himself. We've seen the both of them a'plenty (it should be interjected here - bless European actors, each and every one) and they're both doing just fine, and they both should continue to be just fine, in full view of all of us. But since he put the thoughts in my head I feel as if we should contrast + compare. Which we'll now do after the jump. Hit it for dickage...

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

Heathers (1989)

Veronica's Mom: When teenagers complain that 

they want to be treated like human beings, 

it’s usually because they are being treated like human beings. 

I stole this right off Tumblr, but it was too good not to.

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Statham's Speedo Again (And Again)

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As we've previously noted a few times, on very happy and enthusiastic occasions, Jason Statham was a professional swimmer before he became an actor. For a very long time there was only one picture's worth of proof of this. But now, thanks to Jason Statham having his own public Facebook and Instagram accounts, his speedo can be far and wide. When you're an actor of Jason Statham's, um, caliber, these are the sorts of things you want to spread far and wide, see. (Click here and here for more previous speedo action.)

The Lawnmower Man

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I hope that the actor Glenn Fleshler appreciates it when I say that the sight of him sends a shudder down my spine - he's taking that reaction right to the bank anyway, so he oughta. If you watched True Detective then you know that face - he was the lawnmower man, the figure of horror floating at the edges of that show... well at least until the show revealed itself as so much humdrum in the end, anyway. Y'all know I had many many issues with that show (first and foremost the uselessness in the lead) but for a good long while there was a specter of doom hanging over the proceedings that was hypnotic and Mr. Flesher's eerie presence aided and abetted all that jazz quite fine. 

Aaaaaanyway to get to my point, Glenn Flesher's just been hired to play nurse for Mason Verger (played now by Joe Anderson, who replaced Michael Pitt) on Hannibal, which is another example of the team at Hannibal just being the best people at casting their show on the planet.

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Good Morning, World

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I'm surprised I'd forgotten about posting this scene until somebody reminded me of it yesterday - that's Harry Treadaway, aka Doc Frankenstein on Penny Dreadful, aka one half of those sexy twins we've gratuitized previously, in the not half-bad horror movie Honeymoon, which has been out for awhile now. Maybe I was waiting for myself to actually review the movie, which hasn't happened either? (It's not half-bad.) Yeah I suck. But here's lots of naked Harry after the jump to make up for it. My body is read, Harry...

Monty At 15

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I've never seen this shot of Montgomery Clift at 15 years old before! Ira Sachs, who's currently writing the script for the bio-pic that Matthew Bomer's set to star in for HBO, posted the shot to his Instagram (via, thanks Mac) -- I did photo-shop its perspective a wee bit since Sachs posted the shot at an angle. But man, can you imagine being one of his classmates and having to compare your 15 year old self to him? Those poor kids.

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The Gorgeous Ladies Of Slime

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And immediately here to combat my just-posted hemming and hawing over about the rumor that Chris Pratt might reboot Indiana Jones we've got some super duper hells-yes casting news about an 80s franchise reboot - THR has announced the four women who'll be strapping on the proton-packs and putting the "bust" in Ghostbusters and on top of the expected Melissa McCarthy and the rumored Kristen Wiig (hooray to both of them though, seriously) there's current SNL castmembers Kate McKinnon and Leslie Jones rounding out the group. KATE MCKINNON. KATE MCKINNON. KATE MCKINNON!!!

I ♥ Chris Pratt...

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... but I think that starring in a reboot of the Indiana Jones series might be a bit too much of him, maybe? His character in the Jurassic World movie already looks awfully Indy-ish as it is, and there was obviously some Han Solo riffing happening with Star-Lord in Guardians of the Galaxy. I mean he probably is the closest we've got star-wise to a present-day Harrison Ford (besides the still-kicking Harrison Ford, I mean) but... Chris Pratt can't be in EVERYTHING, can he? (Also I wonder if people were worrying such things back when Harrison Ford himself was starring in Star Wars and Indy movies at the same time?

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poll by twiigs.com

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I Am Link

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--- On All Fours - I assume everyone who's wanted to watch the Fantastic Four trailer by now has watched it, but here you go, you can watch it at this link if you wanna. It's not half bad? I still don't get how they're going to make the Four have the family vibe that sets them apart in the comics, the trailer does nothing as far as that's concerned, but there are some nice notes & visuals played up in there. Also apparently Phillip Glass is doing the score (???) and director Josh Trank is name-dropping Cronenberg as his main influence, so, you know, I'm listening.

--- 44 Actors - Lots of trailers today: our first look for Tom Hardy and Gary Oldman's Child 44 is out too, watch it here. This supposedly co-stars Joel Kinnaman (and his hot haircut) but I don't think I spotted him once in there; there was a flash of Vincent Cassel though! I always like it when Vincent Cassel flashes me. Also I made this gif of Jason Clarke, who yes is also in the cast, and for some reason it keeps making me chuckle - he always seems so dirty and frantic in everything....

--- To Be Teenage - My friend who's in Sundance - the same one who sent me that picture of Mike White wandering around  that I tweeted the other day - told me I am going to love absolutely love the Alexander Skarsgard & Kristen Wiig movie The Diary of a Teenage Girl and now I'm hella excited; today this review from Michael at TFE sealed the deal. Sidenote: I've always meant to read Phoebe Gluckner's book on which the film's based; have any of you read it?

--- And Speaking of Sundance, here's a chat with director Robert Eggers, whose horror film The Witch is apparently awesome and sounds right up my alley. I know, I know, the words "horror film" automatically qualifies as "up my alley," but it's more than that. It sounds classy. Y'all know I loves me some classy shit.

--- Sing Queen - The "cute boy" quotient on a an Murphy show just shot up, shocker - Nick Jonas has joined the cast of Scream Queens, that college-set slasher anthology series he's making starring Jamie Lee Curtis and Emma Roberts. I imagine Nick will still find time in his busy pants-dropping schedule (Clueless, holla) for his MMA show Kingdom though, right?

--- Twist & Shout - If you'd have told me that today would bring me the word-salad that is "a steampunk adventure sequel to Oliver Twist" I'd probably have believed you and shrugged, because these are the end times. But if you'd have told me I'd actually have cared because it was Edgar Wright writing the thing, well, yeah, I'd have believed that too. It sounds like something that'd tickle his ridiculous fancy.

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Over The Speedman & Thru The Woods

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The new movie October Gale, which we ogled the first "Shirtless Scott Speedman" still from way back in September, stars Patricia Clarkson as a Sad Lady going to her cabin for some Sad Lady Alone Time, only to get sucked into Boy Drama between a wounded Scott Speedman and a sinister Tim Roth. And listen, while I cherish contemplation and solitude, there are worse fates than having your wilderness Me-Time interrupted to discover a vulnerable Scott Speedman ass in the air on your cabin floor, ya know?

There are worse things! Here's the trailer:

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They really milk the most out of what's probably Scott's only shirtless scene in there, giving half the trailer to it, which, well, clearly this needs some capping. Hit the jump for more Scott. Oh and this movie's apparently out on demand today!

Today's Mood

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Howdy, folks - the Blizzard that Wizzant (TM me, so proud, so proud) has come (sort of) and gone by (totally) and we'll be up and running in a couple of hours. Until then, click back on our old Gratuitous Sterling Archer post, or not, I don't own you. It's a nice way to waste a minute though. And isn't that the only reason we're here? To waste the endless, endless minutes? Good morning!

Colin O'Donoghue Has Taken The Plunge

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The shirtless plunge! 

Our prayers have finally been answered!

These are from the music video for Christina Perri's song "The Words" - I watched this video with the sound off because I'm at work but I already know that Christina Perri deserves all of the Grammys for this song - every single Grammy! All the Grammys from previous years too. She got Colin O'Donoghue shirtless, dammit!

And in a bathtub! Did I mention he takes a bath? And he carries an axe (earlier in the video, not into the bathtub, that would be weird) and he smells flowers and he tosses around in bed looking like this:

Today is a glorious, glorious day. (This previous picture was the closest Colin had gotten for a camera before, by the way.) Y'all need to thank MNPP-reader Leo for alerting me to this, by the way. Thank him in the comments! And hit the jump for my microscopic capping of this scene because it's an historic moment!