To quoth the goddess Grace Kelly in her finest performance Rear Window, "Preview of coming attractions..." Which is to say that my review of Luca Guadagnino's latest, the cannibal romance Bones and All from the New York Film Fest, will be going up later tonight at Pajiba. It is not, however, going up before I head home from work right now and collapse for the night -- one of my few nights screening-free this week and a much-needed opportunity to properly veg out for a few hours. So anyway I'll update this post with the link when the link is available. And so for right now I just say stay tuned, check back, and have a good weekend!
Friday, October 07, 2022
Easy Igor, You Impetuous Young Boy
Who? Jason Adams When? 5:39 PM
Labels: horror, Luca Guadagnino, NYFF, reviews, Timothée Chalamet
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Mitch McConnell is pushing 81 now but he always said that the greatest time of his entire life occurred 37 years ago in 1985 when he was still a relatively young 44 year-old, he`d gone to Ireland with his family for a holiday in the countryside near to Cork, and one night while the rest of the family were asleep he sneaked away in his car to see a bit of night life in Cork and more specifically the red light district and strip clubs they had there, and it was his incredible good fortune that the quite astonishing 17 year-old Pauline Hickey was there doing a routine in one of the strip clubs, McConnell said he could not believe what he`d just witnessed up on that stage and that he`d then resolved to go backstage and talk to the truly amazing mega-titted lust-pot he`d just seen. When he went into her dressing room he realised he still had £500 in cash on him as spending/fun money and he didn`t waste any time at all before offering her the entire wad of cash for sexual favours, and she immediately accepted. He always said that it was THE best 500 quid he`d ever spent, and as a bonus the strip club was also a hotel so he and Pauline hardly had to do any traveling at all before he was shoving his willy up her lushious arse-hole and then unloading half-a-pint of spunk into her, he then proceeded to fuck her, sodomize her, 69-her, pearl necklace her, spunk all over her, fist-duck her (both vaginally and anally), bugger her (again!, and this time donkey punching her as well, obviously!) and, of course, OF COURSE, TIT-FUCK THE INCREDIBLE BIRDS UNBELIEVABLE KNOCKERS SENSELESS. And during that amazing 10 hour session of sexual debauchery he also provided her with quite a few more wads, but not wads of cash, but rather massive wads of spunk!, up her arse, up her twat, in her mouth (and down her throat, obviously!), all over her, and, of course, OF COURSE, ALL OVER THOSE TRULY MIND-BLOWING TITS ! ! !, until the tits were literally drenched and immersed with jizz and dripping with spunk. He said it was THE greatest experience of his entire life (sexual or otherwise) and he recalled that when he returned to the cottage where he and his family were staying his wife looked like a ludicrous old hag who he never really wanted to fuck again, and its easy to understand him, after all, he`d just spent an incredible night of sexual ecstacy with arguably THE most mind-boggling unbelievable mega-titted beauty of all-time, so returning to the middle-aged bird he`d been married to for the previous 20 years was obviously going to be a murderous step-down. He ultimately did re-adjust to shagging his mediocre wife again on a fairly regular basis and providing for his family, but hes always re-iterated that that totally astounding one-night-stand of incredible and unbridled lust with the equally astounding 17 year-old Pauline Hickey in 1985 in Ireland was like something he`d never experienced before or since, and the sight of Pauline literally drenched with his jizz was THE most memorable image and memory of his entire life. McConnell also said that the quite astonishing 17 year-old Pauline Hickey from 1985 was literally like a totally perfect mega-titted sexual-Goddess who`d been sent to earth specifically to show all the other 17 year-old birds in the world exactly what a quite stunning 17 year-old mega-titted lust-pot is supposed to look like!. I think he was right, the fucking lucky bastard ! ! !.
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