If you haven't been here all week... what, you have something better to do? You know we are in the middle of a pandemic, right? We're in the middle of a pandemic, it's literally life or death out there, and you still can't come to MNPP before Friday? I mean, I am trying to not be offended here. Trying, but failing. It's fine. It's fine. Whatever. I'll carry on. So like I was saying, if you haven't been here all week to see it, because you've been, I don't know, preferring to stare at the wall then read all my hard work or whatever, then you've missed that I've spent all week celebrating the 40th birthday of the actor Jake Gyllenhaal, which is tomorrow.
I've been celebrating with lists! Ridiculous lists! Monday I did his best nutbag roles, Tuesday I did his greatest costumes, Wednesday I went lascivious and stared at his bum a bunch, and yesterday I picked his best screen partners. For today, our final day, I figured I'd better go big or go home. I mean I'd love to go home. Did I mention the pandemic? We should all be home. But I digress. Here on our last day of list-making I challenged myself to a most painful proposition. I have decided to not just pick my ten favorite Jake movies... BUT TO RANK THEM. Oh my god this one hurt, you guys. I am bloody, my brains are battered, and all for your entertainment. Enjoy!
My 10 Favorite Jake Gyllenhaal Movies... Ranked!!!
10. Jarhead (dir. Sam Mendes)
9. Okja (dir. Bong Joon-ho)
8. Source Code (dir. Duncan Jones)
7. The Sisters Brothers (dir. Jacques Audiard)
6. Zodiac (dir. David Fincher)
5. Wildlife (dir. Paul Dano)
4. Donnie Darko (dir. Richard Kelly)
3. Nightcrawler (dir. Dan Gilroy)
2. Enemy (dir. Denis Villenueve)
1. Brokeback Mountain (dir. Ang Lee)
That number one was obvious from outer space, I'm sure.
Now tell me yours in the comments...