Monday, September 09, 2019

Starfish in 175 Words or Less

There is something interesting embedded deep in Starfish, like an episode of The Walking Dead directed by a somnambulist-ier Sofia Coppola, but man does it keep getting in its own way with its whispery wispy self-interest. The already dated hipster twee is so thick with this one that when I thought the lead had pronounced her name "Warby Parker" (it's Aubrey) that totally made sense -- if there were eyeglasses this would be an eyeglasses ad, shitty emo pop included.

Warby née Aubrey sulks herself into an alternate universe after her closest friend dies, but how she can ever see through the smog of Perpetua Filter to what's happening around her I'll never know -- she's too busy posing delicately in frayed knits against clashing patterned sofa covers anyhoo. Thankfully an entire season's worth of Urban Outfitters glam retro recording equipment followed her down the wormhole -- she can sort of make it to the end of the mystery, with as little effort as possible, lest she spill her oversized kombucha on the way.

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