Thursday, July 18, 2019

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

Hollow Man (2000)

Sebastian: Did you ever hear the one about 
Superman and Wonder Woman?
Matt: Stop clowning around.
Sebastian: No come on this is a good one. Superman's flying around metropolis and he's horny as hell. He's checking out the rooftops and all of a sudden he sees Wonder Woman sunning herself on the roof of the Justice League. I mean she is lying there buck naked and spread eagle. Looks like she wants to get fucked right? So Superman starts thinking to himself, "Man I gotta get myself some of that wonderpussy." And then he realizes that he can fly down, do a little fast pumping and be gone before she even sees him. Because he's Superman. He's faster than a speeding bullet, right? So Superman, he swoops down, he fucks her so quick, she doesn't even see him. Wonder Woman sits up and says, "What the fuck was that?" and The Invisible Man says "I don't know but my asshole is killing me."

Ever since the new Invisible Man movie was announced I've been thinking about Paul Veroeven's Hollow Man and how they need to give this speech a shout-out, but now that they went and cast Oliver Jackson-Cohen as the Invisible Man, well, I'm gonna need more than the speech. I'm gonna need a reenactment. Henry Cavill could play Superman one more time, dammit! Ahem. Anyway a very happy 81st  birthday to Paul Verhoeven, legend and genius and pervert.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Terrible movie. And the joke doesn't even make sense. Such lazy writing.