I Leave You With This

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Everyone have a pleasant weekend.
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Hey To The Fellas - Ditch The Broads!

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Considering what happened the other week to one of the characters pictured above (purposefully being vague to avoid spoilers), I momentarily thought against throwing the phrase "Ditch the broads!" at that picture, but... well really, no offense to those wonderful girls that I love dearly I do, but... they need to scram, I have fantasies and they ain't fulfilling themselves here!

New BSG tonight! Yahoo! I hope we get more Tahmoh.
I need more Tahmoh. And just cuz, here are a couple shots
of Tahmoh that I hadn't seen before (all via here).

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Do Dump or Marry - Watchmen's Axis Of Evil

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A bunch of new Watchmen pics are making the rounds, including this one (of some presumably not centrally featured bad guys) which I find hysterical, especially now that I've put it into the Do Dump or Marry context.

Do these guys even have names? The first person to tell me their names, if they do have names, wins the much coveted "You Are The Biggest Dork On Earth" award.

More pics here.
Crudup looks adorable, plus Nite Owl's snowsuit!

Anyway, as for the doing-dumping-marrying choices, I would do that gas-masked ballerina Nazi until his uniform was in tatters, dump that creepy Space Perv - just say no to intergalactic shoulder-pads, dude - and marry the Mafioso type because he can afford pants and I'd like to be able to afford pants in a long-term commitment sort of situation.

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Becks Three Times

Three more Becks-in-Armani-undies pics have arrived,

which I will dutifully post as forever promised:

(via)
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Pic of the Day

It's the first picture from S. Darko (via):

That's Daveigh Chase, who played Donnie's sister Samantha in the original film and is playing his sister again here in this sequel... thing.

I don't know why I've remained fascinated by the fact that a sequel to Donnie Darko has been made. Jake is not involved. Original writer/director Richard Kelly is not involved. There's not even gonna be any Mary McDonnell sipping red wine and chuckling about being called a bitch. Yet here I am, unable to look away. Maybe it's a car-wreck mentality, but I kinda find myself hoping that maybe it does turn out to be more. Maybe. Who knows. That link also has the film's synopsis if you're interested. The movie's going straight-to-DVD on April 28th.
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You Have All Let Me Down

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Seriously. All y'all need some thinkin' time in the corner, because I am severely disappointed in you. A brand new Sufjan Stevens song is released, and no one tells me? Just... HOW COULD YOU? I am ashamed. Deeply ashamed of every single one of you. I don't know if I can look you in the face right now. Just... just leave me alone. No... don't say you're sorry, I said just leave me alone. I need time to... NO... I have to think. God. Via:

"Today's Dark Was The Night track comes to us from a guy named Sufjan Stevens. It's a cover of the Castanets' "You Are The Blood," originally on Ray & rotating Co's 2004 album Cathedral (keeping it in the Asthmatic Kitty family, see). For his updated take, Stevens replaces the original's minimal gothic atmospherics with crazed keyboarding, carnival percussion, high-pitched vocalisms, and layers of general instrumental zaniness until a soft, Sufjan-y return. Take a listen. It sounds like he decided to put every piece of equipment in his studio to use."

Dark Was The Night is a charity compilation - a kick-arse compilation - that comes out on February 16th. Because it's for charity - AIDS, y'all - I'm not gonna offer any free downloads, but you can listen to the Sufjan song right at this link.

There's also a new Arcade Fire song on it, which you can hear here. Other tunes on the compilation are by Grizzly Bear, Feist and Ben Gibbard, Bon Iver, My Brightest Diamond, The Kronos Quartet, The Decemberists, Iron & Wine, Beirut, My Morning Jacket, The New Pornographers, Cat Power, Blonde Redhead... AND MORE. Seriously... that list blows my mind.
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"My grammy never gave gifts."

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"She was too busy getting raped by Cossacks."

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Birthday Bale

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Last year for Christian Bale's birthday I gave you my five favorite performances of his. The year before I gave you a slew (and I do mean a slew) of pictures of the sexy mofo. This year, for his 35th birthday... hrm... I got nothing. Well, except for happy wishes to the man they myth... the hottest serial killer I ever done seen. Keep on keepin' on, Mr. Bale, and I'll keep you in my heart as Patrick Bateman no matter what else you do forever and ever. That seems fair, no?

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Warren One Time

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Everybody Together Now...

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"Drink your juice, Shelby."

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Toga! Toga!

Not sure how I missed this news earlier today, but I did, and I offer up my throat for the slitting because of this lackluster performance o' mine. I sucks! Via, via my bud Sean:

"Neil Marshall Unleashes Centurion

Details surrounding Neil Marshall's latest film, Centurion, were announced today, and even though it's not horror per se, we're sure that it will still appeal to you, oh dearest reader!

The Hollywood Reporter reports today that "the movie, billed as a thriller set during the Roman invasion of Britain in A.D. 117, tells the story of Quintus Dias, sole survivor of a Pictish raid on a Roman frontier fort, who marches north with General Virilus' legendary Ninth Legion, under orders to wipe the Picts from the face of the Earth and destroy their leader, Gorlacon."

Considering Marshall's style and track record, I'm sure there will be enough violence to sate even the blood-hungriest of gorehounds out there.

Centurion will star Michael Fassbender, Dominic West, and Bond-girl Olga Kurylenko. Keep it here for more as it comes."

Thanks to his previous three films - for those unaware, I speak of Dog Soldiers, The Descent, and Doomsday (it looks as if he's all done with the letter D for now) - all being genre knock-outs, I will follow Neil Marshall anywhere, so I'm sold. Do your thing, Mr. Man, and I will buy my ticket.

I had to look up Michael Fassbender, which right off the bat proves that I haven't seen the film Hunger, because supposedly he gives some sort of crazy-ass memorably disturbing performance in it or something that I'd supposedly remember if I had seen it. But I have not. So I don't know him. He was also in 300 (I do sorta remember him now after seeing that pic there at the bottom-left) and he's in Inglorious Basterds as well... so I guess he's what people call "an up-and-comer."

As for Dom West... well he too proved that he can rock a toga in 300, so there's that.

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"I found a tooth in my apartment."

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"It was in a hole."

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I Am Link

--- Leave Blair Be - As big a fan as I am of The Blair Witch Project - and I am a very very big fan of the movie and will defend it with my dying breath if necessary (although I certainly hope it never comes to that) - I'm not sold on the need for a Director's Cut of the film that includes a "poetry jam" session. Maybe a new DVD where they just put this shit in the extras? That sounds okay. But the movie is perfect as is, and this stuff sounds like it's more fuel for the "these characters are unbearably annoying" fire that's engulfed the film for years.

Perhaps co-director Daniel Myrick is just yapping this up to get press for his new (coming out in NYC next week) horror flick The Objective though.

--- Getting Back To Drac Basics - Alex Proyas gives a little blurb on what his long gestating Dracula: Year One project (which he might be doing next) might be about... sorta. it's still vague.

--- The Genius Of Joss - AMC's Horror Hacker blog looks at the rumor mongering genius of Joss Whedon and JJ Abrams and how they've been dribbling out info so slightly on Cabin in the Woods.

--- Eyeballs a'poppin' - The new DVD of Friday the 13th: Part 3 has 3D glasses and can be played in 3D. I have never seen it in 3D. I have to have it NOW. Despite my better instincts Part 3 has always been my favorite chapter (I'm not alone). It has the hottest guys, the silliest deaths, and 3D. Now for real! Awesomeness.

--- Mirror Mirror - Twitch reviews The Broken, which I reviewed here, and agrees with me that it's an underseen spooky gem.

--- Add Requisite Oscar, Stir - Piper lays down the truth and tells us how Slumdog Millionaire is the new Crash. It rubs your tummy all better it does.

--- That Thing They Do - I don't really understand how MacReady's brother could play into a prequel of the events of John Carpenter's The Thing since it's supposed to be (or was supposed to be about from all I'd read before) the Norwegian scientists that get all eaten up before the events of Carpenter's film and they shouldn't really have anything to do with MacReady at all... but Ronald Moore of Battlestar is the writer so I am not as freaked as I could be. Anyway, that director guy signed on.

--- Off To Hell We Go - BD also reviews (very spoilery) the rough-cut of Sam Raimi's Drag Me To Hell and like the AICN one I linked to earlier this week says it's the best horror flick they've seen in years.

--- Wear Them For Me, Chris - Chris Evans chats with AICN about his upcoming flick Push and admits the following:

"I had a great, great time playing [Johnny Storm]. He's such a fun character. And I'm not going to lie: I loved the blue tights. I had a blast getting into them every day."

I liked it too, you hot ass bastard. I liked it too. And I wouldn't argue if you wore them around town. To the grocery store... jogging... whatever.
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On Daisies, On Sylar, Oh My

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If nothing else, this news makes me happy because it led me to that picture above, but via Ausiello's most recent reader Q&A (spoilers at that link) comes new word of Bryan Fuller-related things:

"Question: Is there any news on anything Pushing Daisies related? -- Eric

Ausiello: Yes, there are three new developments -- and, believe it or not, all of them are positive! 1) I'm told Warner Bros. will definitely be releasing a season 2 DVD. 2) After undergoing a major post production tweaking, the series finale is now a loose-end-tying-up extravaganza. 3) And the inimitable Ellen Greene is in talks with Heroes to return as Sylar's mom during May sweeps."

So that's some happiness. I mean, we knew the DVDs of Daisies would be released eventually, that was a given. So everyone will one day see what remains of the show, and it sounds as if what remains might just be fully satisfying. Or as fully satifsying as we could hope a murdered-in-its-prime show's finale could be, I guess.

Kick-ass that Ellen Greene's coming back to Heroes... somehow. "Somehow" refers to the pair of scissors you see protruding from her chest in the pic above, of course. Her complications had complications, from what I remember.

Separately, I just realized this morning (because of this) that we have a full 5 episodes of Bryan Fuller-less (and therefore presumably brain-numbing) Heroes to wade through once the new episodes start on Monday until Fuller's episodes start. Blurgh! My brains might turn to mush by then, I swear... I just need to keep repeating to myself that hope is just on the horizon.

(thanks to Mac for the heads-up!)
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Thursday's Ways Not To Die

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Happiness (1998)

Here in the dead of Winter it's only natural that one's thoughts will turn to a patch of green grass... a light breeze rolling through the trees... strangling homeless people while they sleep... playing Frisbee with a best pal... yes, I speak of wandering through Central Park on a Summer day without a care in the world. Such bliss.

But what if you're a disturbed kid-toucher? What then?

This then, y'all. This then.

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Previous Ways Not To Die: A Vengeful Elevator God: Part 3 -- Strung Up With Festive Holiday Bulbs By Santa Claus Himself -- A Vengeful Elevator God: Part 2 -- A Vengeful Elevator God: Part 1 -- Decapitated Plucked Broiled & Sliced -- Head On A Stick! -- A Trip To The Ol' Wood-Chipper -- Pointed By The T-1000 -- Sucking Face With Freddy Krueger -- A Pen-Full Of Home-Brewed Speed to The Eye -- Motivational Speech, Interrupted -- A Freak Ephemera Storm -- When Ya Gotta Go... Ya Gotta Go -- Hoisted By Your Own Hand Grenade -- Having The Years Suction-Cupped Away -- Criss-Cross -- Turned Into A Person-Cocoon By The Touch Of A Little Girl's Mirror Doppleganger -- Satisfying Society's "Pop Princess" Blood-Lust -- Done In By The Doggie Door -- Tuned Out -- Taking the 107th Step -- Rescuing Gretchen -- Incinerated By Lousy Dialogue -- Starred & Striped Forever -- Vivisection Via Vaginally-Minded Barbed-Wire -- Chompers (Down There) -- Run Down By M. Night Shyamalan -- Everything Up To And Including The Kitchen Toaster -- Sacrificed To Kali -- Via The Gargantuan Venom Of The Black Mamba Snake -- Turned Into An Evil Robot -- The Out-Of-Nowhere Careening Vehicle Splat -- "Oh My God... It's Dip!!!" -- Critter Balled -- Stuff'd -- A Hot-Air Balloon Ride... Straight To Hell!!! -- Puppy Betrayal -- High-Heeled By A Girlfriend Impersonator -- Flip-Top Beheaded -- Because I'm Too Goddamned Beautiful To Live -- By Choosing... Poorly... -- Fried Alive Due To Baby Ingenuity -- A Good Old-Fashioned Tentacle Smothering -- Eepa! Eepa! -- Gremlins Ate My Stairlift -- An Icicle Thru The Eye -- Face Carved Off By Ghost Doctor After Lesbian Tryst With Zombie Women -- Electrocuted By Fallen Power-Lines -- A Mouthful Of Flare -- Taken By The TV Lady -- Bitten By A Zombie -- Eaten By Your Mattress -- Stuffed To Splitting -- Face Stuck In Liquid Nitrogen -- Crushed By Crumbling Church Debris -- Bitten By The Jaws Of Life -- A Machete To The Crotch -- Showering With A Chain-Saw -- In A Room Filled With Razor Wire -- Pod People'd With Your Dog -- Force-Fed Art -- Skinned By A Witch -- Beaten With An Oar -- Curbed -- Cape Malfunction -- In The Corner -- Cooked In A Tanning Bed -- Diced -- Punched Through The Head -- Bugs Sucking On Your Head
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Quote of the (Yester)Day

Faye Dunaway's reaction to Hilary Duff's casting as Bonnie Parker in a retelling of the Bonnie & Clyde story:

"Couldn't they at least cast a real actress?"

Heh. Bless the fact that Faye Dunaway has nothing to lose and can speak her crazy-bat's mind these days... I wish they'd put a microphone in front of her more often actually, I'd love to hear more of her opinions. I'm sure they'd be... fruitful. They should let her into Congress, shit would get done. "Don't fuck with me, fellas!" I'm waiting for a second season of The Starlet really. DON'T CALL US WE'LL CALL YOU! Love you, Faye...

As for the movie itself... well I'm surprisingly not outraged about it. It's not actually a remake of Arthur Penn's classic 1967 film, it's just another telling of the B&C myth, so that doesn't so much bother me. The story's one of our iconic American tales and will surely be told a million different times and a million different ways. I'm not saying I'll ever watch this, but it doesn't fill me with rage either. And sure, he might not be a Clyde-era Warren Beatty - no one will ever be that - but Kevin Zegers is a pretty damn thing all the same.

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Desmond's Ridiculous Perma-Cleavage...

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... would like to remind you to watch tonight's new episode of Lost.
Thank you, says Desmond's Ridiculous Perma-Cleavage.
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Which Is Hotter?

In honor of my having just inducted Ralph Fiennes into the Hump Day Hottie hall-of-fame over at The Film Experience, I ask you which Fiennes-performed bad guy was hotter:

Ralph Fiennes as as Lord Voldemort in Harry Potter
or Francis Dolarhyde in Red Dragon?

(ETA For the record, he was way hot in both these roles.)

Also, a special shout-out to how beautiful he looked
the first time I ever saw him, playing the monster Amon Goeth
in Schindler's List... (just this once couldn't go there though...)


Also a specialer shout-out to this picture, just because I say so:
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Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

The Devil Wears Prada (2006)

Miranda Priestly: Something funny?

Andy Sachs: No, no, nothing. Y'know, it's just that both those belts look exactly the same to me. Y'know, I'm still learning about all this stuff.

Miranda: This... 'stuff'? Oh... ok. I see, you think this has nothing to do with you. You go to your closet and you select out, oh I don't know, that lumpy blue sweater, for instance, because you're trying to tell the world that you take yourself too seriously to care about what you put on your back. But what you don't know is that that sweater is not just blue, it's not turquoise, it's not lapis, it's actually cerulean.

You're also blithely unaware of the fact that in 2002, Oscar De La Renta did a collection of cerulean gowns. And then I think it was Yves St Laurent, wasn't it, who showed cerulean military jackets? I think we need a jacket here. And then cerulean quickly showed up in the collections of 8 different designers.

Then it filtered down through the department stores and then trickled on down into some tragic casual corner where you, no doubt, fished it out of some clearance bin. However, that blue represents millions of dollars and countless jobs and so it's sort of comical how you think that you've made a choice that exempts you from the fashion industry when, in fact, you're wearing the sweater that was selected for you by the people in this room. From a pile of stuff.

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Gratuitous Travis Fimmel

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Hard to believe that Mr. Fimmel never got one of these posts back in his panty-posing heyday, but now that I'm forced to ogle him every time I'm in a movie theater - forced! against my will! - in pre-show ads for that Swayze-starring television program The Beast he's gone and floated back up to the forefront of my consciousness, at least for this second. Plus I see he and I share a birthday (he's two years younger). So I suppose he's belatedly worthy for a little gratuitous love... most all of these pics below are oldies but goodies...

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