I was convinced that this news had to be bullshit, until I saw that the original source was Variety, and they tend to know of what they speak most of the time, right? Still? BULLSHIT. I call bullshit. Oh I should probably tell you what I am talking of, huh? Here:
"Steven Spielberg and Will Smith are in early discussions to collaborate on a remake of Chan Wook-park's "Oldboy." DreamWorks is in the process of securing the remake rights, and the new pic will be distributed by Universal.
In the 2003 Korean original, a man gets kidnapped and held in a shabby cell for 15 years without explanation. Suddenly, he's released and given money, a cell phone and clothes and is set on a path to discover who destroyed his life so he can take revenge.
Spielberg had been looking for an opportunity to make a film with Smith, who would play the kidnapped man if all the pieces fall into place. Spielberg is looking for a writer to begin the development process.
The film was originally set at U and then found its way to Mandate."
OH. MY GOD. I am at a total loss for words. Steven Spielberg, bringer of light and hope and warm feelings. Will Smith... DITTO. And Oldboy, tale as old as time, of despair, incest, hammers to the face, self-tongue-mutilations... the list goes on and on and on for things that Steven Spielberg, man who made me love movies, man that I always look forward to seeing a new film from... the list goes on and on of reasons why I couldn't imagine a more ridiculous choice for directing a version of this movie. I just... AT A LOSS FOR FUCKING WORDS. OH. MY GOD. Is this a joke?
This is a joke, right? RIGHT? What is today? Did I wake up in a fucking Bizarro world? ACK. I DO NOT UNDERSTAND. I need to go back to bed, sleep for 24 hours, and wait for this world that has spun off of its axis to right itself and turn into the world it was before. NONSENSE. EVERYWHERE NONSENSE.