Friday, November 07, 2008

And Speaking Of Insanity

I was convinced that this news had to be bullshit, until I saw that the original source was Variety, and they tend to know of what they speak most of the time, right? Still? BULLSHIT. I call bullshit. Oh I should probably tell you what I am talking of, huh? Here:

"Steven Spielberg and Will Smith are in early discussions to collaborate on a remake of Chan Wook-park's "Oldboy." DreamWorks is in the process of securing the remake rights, and the new pic will be distributed by Universal.

In the 2003 Korean original, a man gets kidnapped and held in a shabby cell for 15 years without explanation. Suddenly, he's released and given money, a cell phone and clothes and is set on a path to discover who destroyed his life so he can take revenge.

Spielberg had been looking for an opportunity to make a film with Smith, who would play the kidnapped man if all the pieces fall into place. Spielberg is looking for a writer to begin the development process.

The film was originally set at U and then found its way to Mandate."

OH. MY GOD. I am at a total loss for words. Steven Spielberg, bringer of light and hope and warm feelings. Will Smith... DITTO. And Oldboy, tale as old as time, of despair, incest, hammers to the face, self-tongue-mutilations... the list goes on and on and on for things that Steven Spielberg, man who made me love movies, man that I always look forward to seeing a new film from... the list goes on and on of reasons why I couldn't imagine a more ridiculous choice for directing a version of this movie. I just... AT A LOSS FOR FUCKING WORDS. OH. MY GOD. Is this a joke?

This is a joke, right? RIGHT? What is today? Did I wake up in a fucking Bizarro world? ACK. I DO NOT UNDERSTAND. I need to go back to bed, sleep for 24 hours, and wait for this world that has spun off of its axis to right itself and turn into the world it was before. NONSENSE. EVERYWHERE NONSENSE.


Anonymous said...

Steven Spielberg did make Schindler's List, Jaws, Saving Private Ryan, Munich, Jurassic Park, War of the Worlds, Duel, Poltergeist (more or less), and Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. He can do nasty when he wants.

Jason Adams said...

He can do nasty bits, but think of the flash-ahead book-ends to Private Ryan or that AWFUL ending to War of the Worlds where everyone ridiculously survived... He's been tempering the misery in the past decade with too much sugar-coated happiness. I don't trust him to make a movie as angry as Oldboy should be.

Anonymous said...

If a remake was greenlit, then, who would you prefer in the drivers seat and main cast?

Jason Adams said...

Urgh, I'd rather it wasn't remade at all, so that question is tough. For some reason, running through a mental list of directors just now, the thought of Brian De Palma grabbed my interest... Operatic Despair is what this story is all about, and De Palma, back when he could make good movies - I'm thinking specifically of the end of Blow Out, really - had that feeling in spades. And he's not afraid of deviant pessimism and making the audience feel BAD. Course his movies have been so sloppy for... decades... now, who knows. Casting... there are lots of chocies, I think. Someone who is NOT a movie star though. That role is not about being a STAR, it's about being a trampled upon and desperate loser.

Anonymous said...

Let it be remade, so as to attract others to view the original. But let it be remade only half-heartidly, with only mid-tier contributors, I say.

Maybe your suggestion of De Palma is right on.

Zoe Brown said...

I agree with ja, I'd rather it wasn't remade at all. The original was just so perfect and I honestly don't think that a Western film could do the hammer fight scene convincingly.

But if it has to be remade, let's get David Lynch to remake it and create something even more twisted than the original ^_^