Friday, June 20, 2008

Thursday's Friday's Ways Not To Die

Teeth (2007)

Four out of four men agree:

Previous Ways Not To Die: Run Down By M. Night Shyamalan -- Everything Up To And Including The Kitchen Toaster -- Sacrificed To Kali -- Via The Gargantuan Venom Of The Black Mamba Snake -- Turned Into An Evil Robot -- The Out-Of-Nowhere Careening Vehicle Splat -- "Oh My God... It's Dip!!!" -- Critter Balled -- Stuff'd -- A Hot-Air Balloon Ride... Straight To Hell!!! -- Puppy Betrayal -- High-Heeled By A Girlfriend Impersonator -- Flip-Top Beheaded -- Because I'm Too Goddamned Beautiful To Live -- By Choosing... Poorly... -- Fried Alive Due To Baby Ingenuity -- A Good Old-Fashioned Tentacle Smothering -- Eepa! Eepa! -- Gremlins Ate My Stairlift -- An Icicle Thru The Eye -- Face Carved Off By Ghost Doctor After Lesbian Tryst With Zombie Women -- Electrocuted By Fallen Power-Lines -- A Mouthful Of Flare -- Taken By The TV Lady -- Bitten By A Zombie -- Eaten By Your Mattress -- Stuffed To Splitting -- Face Stuck In Liquid Nitrogen -- Crushed By Crumbling Church Debris -- Bitten By The Jaws Of Life -- A Machete To The Crotch -- Showering With A Chain-Saw -- In A Room Filled With Razor Wire -- Pod People'd With Your Dog -- Force-Fed Art -- Skinned By A Witch -- Beaten With An Oar -- Curbed -- Cape Malfunction -- In The Corner -- Cooked In A Tanning Bed -- Diced -- Punched Through The Head -- Bugs Sucking On Your Head


Joe Reid said...


Unknown said...

I have always assumed that all women have teeth down there

Anonymous said...

Good choice! I just watched this movie on Sunday so it's still firmly placed in my mind.

Jason Adams said...

I know a lot of people haven't seen this movie yet, so I wanted to walk a line between not showing too much and giving away the good stuff while still capturing the funny/horrifying nature of the scenes. See this movie, world! It's been kinda stuck in my brain since I saw it months ago.

Herbaliscous said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Agnes B said...

We just saw this last week. It was easily the most fun we've had watching a horror movie in a while.