Thursday, March 06, 2008

Thursday's Ways Not To Die

Today's return to Thursday's Ways Not To Die is
terrifically gory.
If you can't handle that sort of thing, look away.

Hatchet (2006)

I wasn't as enamored with Adam Green's Hatchet as I was hoping to be - it had all the elements of the "return to 80's slasher fun time" that it was trying to be but it still somehow came up lacking - but it did have some of the more spectacular gore that I've seen on screen in awhile. Ahh good old fashioned Karo Syrup splattered special effects! So much sweeter than CG nonsense. The above death was one of my faves, mostly because that's character actress Patrika Darbo getting her head split in two!!!

Darbo's face is doubtlessly familiar to anyone who's ever turned on a television set or watched a movie - she always shows up as the annoyingly sunny neighbor or customer or co-worker. She's kind of a younger Edie McClurg, if you will. And he ripped her head in two! Bad ass, that.

Previous Ways Not To Die: Because I'm Too Goddamned Beautiful To Live -- By Choosing... Poorly... -- Fried Alive Due To Baby Ingenuity -- A Good Old-Fashioned Tentacle Smothering -- Eepa! Eepa! -- Gremlins Ate My Stairlift -- An Icicle Thru The Eye -- Face Carved Off By Ghost Doctor After Lesbian Tryst With Zombie Women -- Electrocuted By Fallen Power-Lines -- A Mouthful Of Flare -- Taken By The TV Lady -- Bitten By A Zombie -- Eaten By Your Mattress -- Stuffed To Splitting -- Face Stuck In Liquid Nitrogen -- Crushed By Crumbling Church Debris -- Bitten By The Jaws Of Life -- A Machete To The Crotch -- Showering With A Chain-Saw -- In A Room Filled With Razor Wire -- Pod People'd With Your Dog -- Force-Fed Art -- Skinned By A Witch -- Beaten With An Oar -- Curbed -- Cape Malfunction -- In The Corner -- Cooked In A Tanning Bed -- Diced -- Punched Through The Head -- Bugs Sucking On Your Head

No comments: