My Harry Potter book still hasn't arrived! What a nightmare! Relentless torture, every second is a dagger beneath my fingernails, an icepick through my eardrum. I've been checking UPS to track the package every five minutes, and it goes unchanged. Says it's in New York, and out for delivery... since Saturday.
UPS Man, why hast thou forsaken me?
The UPS deliveries usually come in the morning, between 10 and Noon. It's One o'clock! Why are they trying to drive me mad???
I know what it is. It's Lord Voldemort! I mean... He Who Shall Not Be Named. Or whatever. It's Ralph Fiennes!
Bastard. I always defend The English Patient when people start dissing it as unworthy to win Best Picture and call it bloated and overdone. See if that ever happens again, Mr. Fiennes!
UPS Man, why hast thou forsaken me?
The UPS deliveries usually come in the morning, between 10 and Noon. It's One o'clock! Why are they trying to drive me mad???
I know what it is. It's Lord Voldemort! I mean... He Who Shall Not Be Named. Or whatever. It's Ralph Fiennes!
Bastard. I always defend The English Patient when people start dissing it as unworthy to win Best Picture and call it bloated and overdone. See if that ever happens again, Mr. Fiennes!
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