Tuesday, July 09, 2024

Hatchets, Crocs, And Hot Boys Kissing

Been awhile since I did a post where I directed y'all to some recent blu-ray releases of note and since I have a few listed on my calendar for today why not? Otherwise I'm just scouring social media for more photos of Theo James in his speedo and there's only so much of that one can do without literally exploding. So today in blu-ray news, first up -- there's Alex Garland's Civil War, which was divisive but not really the way that I think Garland intended it to be. I reviewed it at Pajiba, saying "the film gets to it by coasting on a journalist’s ethics of pure objective documentation over anything resembling subjectivity, and this film that basically demanded to be made at this moment in time doesn’t quite earn its laurels by its end." The movie feels like a cop-out to me. But it's worth seeing and thinking about anyway, and the 4K disc is gorgeous -- you can practically count every hair in Wagner Moura's sexy mustache. 

Also out today is a blu-ray of the sleazy 1979 Jaws rip-off Crocodile from Synapse Films -- this movie isn't my favorite 70s "When Animals Attack!" flick -- heck it's not even in the top 10 -- but it's got its moments, and lots of fun Godzilla-esque miniature work as its enormous croc rampages through puppet-sized Thai villages. My favorite thing is how wildly the size of the crocodile itself vaccillates across the course of the movie -- it's the size of a Brontosaurus in those rampages but then when it goes to eat somebody its mouth is one-person sized. It'd probably be a lot of fun when drunk or stoned. Not that I would know! I am a good, pure, innocent boy, and prefer watching endless underwater shots of bottomless women while sober thank you very much.

Speaking of misogynist sleaze, I meant to mention to the fans of the franchise that Adam Green's Hatchet series of films finally got a proper blu-ray boxed-set release a couple of weeks back -- Hatchet: The Complete Collection contains all four movies (including Victor Crowley) and a fifth disc of special features and the only place to buy it is on Dark Sky's website right here. I personally hate these movies but I know they have lots of fans and I will admit that the practical gore effects do totally rule, and they definitely typify the Aughts era of Bro Horror. Not my cuppa but mileages vary! But finally and most importantly...

... Luca Guadagnino's Challengers is out on blu-ray today! Or at least they say it is -- Amazon has delayed sending my copy because of "supply chain issues, and I am very upset about it. But I suppose some of you probably got your copy, to which I say ROT IN HELL. Ahem. No no, enjoy! I mean that sincerely. ENJOY IN HELL, FUCKFACE. Okay this isn't going right. Here is my review of the film -- obviously I loved it, Luca has yet to do me wrong, and I'll be watching it a jabillion times over. Now if only Trent Reznor & Co would drop the score on vinyl already! They're teasing this out like we're all Josh O'Connor watching Mike Faist change in the lockerroom dammit.

Oh and one bit of news on the pre-order front -- this spring's horror hit Late Night With the Devil is dropping on blu-ray here in the U.S. in September, and you can pre-order it right now right here. I liked, not loved, it -- my high expectations have been slaughtering movies left and right this year -- but it's fun and worth a watch or two. I'll definitely re-watch it when it hits with my lowered expectactions and can foresee it becoming one I revisit every so often when the mood strikes. David Dastmalchian of course rules.

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