Requisite Oscars Post

I know you know I know you know that I think the Oscars are bunk. I have heard all the arguments for why they matter -- they paint a picture of what mattered to the people making the movies at this moment in time, they give studios a reason to make movies that aren't comic book movies, yadda yadda and et cetera -- and those all seem like circular self-propogating bunkum reasons to me still. For me all I see is them creating this storm of indulgent nonsense jabber that ouroboroses itself out of meaning -- they spend so much time being about themselves and justifying themselves (ooh, statistics about who's won what how many times!) that they cease having any meaning. There is no "best" movie or "best" performance -- I couldn't tell you my favorite today will be my favorite tomorrow. Multiply that by thousands of people and it's just nonsense. It sustains a system of noise that has very little time for what art is really about -- for contemplating the ideas and the emotions that these cinematic expressions raise and exist for. Or should anyway.

That's all on the one hand. On the other hand I do love looking at beautiful people wearing fancy clothes and I like it when people I like are happy. So I will watch the goddamned show, and I will find it annoying and enjoyable in semi-equal-measure. Whatever. It's the same dance every year but I will repeat all of this every year because it needs to continue being underlined, even if I'm always and forever the Debbie Downer of the party. Enjoy your thing if you wanna enjoy your thing -- it's like religion. I'm not gonna smack the Bible out of your hand but I'm gonna exercise my freedom of speech to stand here and scream bullshit bullshit bullshit. Feel free to back away slowly. Everybody does eventually.

Anyway I saw somebody ranking the Best Picture nominees on Twitter just now and I figured I'd do that, because I'm bored and figured maybe y'all would like to share yours in the comments. Does this go against all I just said -- there's no best, this is a bastardization of art's meaning, these rankings would be different five seconds from now, etc? Of course it does! But I'm bored! So hypocrisy will have to sustain me this afternoon.

The 2024 Best Picture Nominees Ranked, Worst to Best

10. Maestro (my review)

9. The Holdovers 

8. American Fiction

7. Barbie (my review)

6. Oppenheimer

5. Anatomy of a Fall 

4. Past Lives 

3. Killers of the Flower Moon (my review) 

2. Poor Things (my review)

1. The Zone of Interest (my review)

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You can see my official 20 favorite movies of 2023 right here. Of the Oscar nominees I only think the ones I ranked 5 - 1 are great movies -- Oppenheimer is good, often very good, but I hate its last act so much I can't quite call it great (and I'm extremely annoyed about Robert Downey Jr. probably being awarded for the performance that fully does the movie in, as far as I'm concerned.) Barbie is okay, but even on a rewatch when I thought my issues with the movie would dissipate due to it being so "fun" I still found it too uneven and sloppy. And my bottom three -- American Fiction and The Holdovers and Maestro -- are absolute messes. In fact as brutal as I was on Maestro in my review I came close to switching it and The Holdovers in last place; I find the goodwill Payne's film has sustained all season absolutely baffling. What a hollow nothing movie that is. 

But let's not end this thing on such a bitter note. Even though it's been bitter the whole way through, haha. Whoever wins Best Actress this year will make me happy -- it seems to be between Emma Stone and Lily Gladstone and they're both ace. And if Sandra Hüller somehow pulls off a big upset I'll also be thrilled. That category is golden. But the only thing I am really really rooting for is Godzilla Minus One to stomp its way to a win in the Best Visual Effects category. That would make me 100% stand and cheer. Give our big boy his moment!