What's In The Box, Dakota

Dakota Fanning just turned 30 last week and it looks like it might be an important year for her professionally -- she is of course co-starring opposite Andrew Scott in the series Ripley (yes in the Gywneth role) that's out on Netflix on April 3rd. But yesterday some more cool news broke -- she's leading the new horror movie from Bryan Bertino, director of The Strangers and The Dark and the Wicked! (The Dark and the Wicked is so underrated.) The movie is called Vicious (excellent title, shocked it hasn't been a horror movie before) and here is how it is described (it sounds a lot like Richard Kelly's The Box to me):

"The plot follows a young woman who must spend the night fighting for her existence as she slips down a disturbing rabbit hole contained inside a mysterious gift from a late-night visitor."

Today's Fanboy Delusion

Today I'd rather be...

... going into beast mode with Austin Nichols.

Well this is one way to grab our attention, Austin! I feel like I haven't seen him in anything in a bit -- since I didn't watch Minx or Ray Donovan the last time was probably The Walking Dead and hoo boy that was awhile ago -- but he does pop up on Insta every so often, and today was one of them times, and... hoo boy, was it. Hit the jump for the video (although I had to mute the music in the video because Austin went and used Beyonce over it which yeah YouTube was having none of) and a fine selection of sweaty gifs...

Charles Melton Five Times

Yes I posted some Charles Melton photos yesterday -- what of it? The May December beauty didn't get his deserved Oscar nomination so we'll give him the next best thing, i.e. lots of horned-up attention. These brand new photos (unlike yesterday's, which were a vintage of a whole four years old) are from WSJ (via) -- you do wonder if they photographed him thinking they were getting an Oscar nominee, given their drop right here in the middle of that moment. It wasn't just Charles who was cheated, but the poor Wall Street Journal! Won't someone think of the poor Wall Street Journal, for god's sake? Eesh don't mind me I am in a really weird mood today. Hit the jump for the photos....

Five Frames From ?

What movie is this?

Good Morning, World

A happy 40 today to the lovely and talented French actor Arnaud Valois, who I first saw in the modern gay classic B.P.M. in 2017 and who I last saw in the not-so-classic but still very gay grief-comedy Good Grief from Dan Levy (I reviewed the latter right here). Arnaud was fine in that, he wasn't the film's issue, except that his role was weirdly written and kind of insubstantial. But it was good to see him, and good-er still to pretend I was the one who he was sneaking into a Parisian museum after hours. Anyway... 

... Arnaud is indeed a "leapling" meaning he was born on February 29th, a day which only exists once every four years -- does anyone actually know somebody born on February 29th? I've always wondered how they celebrate the other three years out of the four. I mean obviously not enough to google it and find out, but generally, when the thought occurs to me, like it is right now, I have wondered. All of that said -- I have no clue what movie or series these images of Arnaud are from -- I googled him (this much I can google) and they came up on that standard bearer of foot fetishism on the internet WikiFeet haha. These photos are pretty gratuitous in that respect though! So if you know what they're from help our foot fetishist friends out and share the info, please and thank you.

ETA thanks to commenter Pablo for the info! These are from 

a Casey Spooner video, which makes So Much Sense. Watch:

Here, Some Fast Dune 2 Thoughts

I posted a shorter version of this on Twitter (see it here) but what the hell, I'll elaborate a bit here on MNPP proper just in case Twitter sinks into the muck eventually (slash tomorrow) and since it doesn't seem I'm writing up a review of Dune 2 anywhere else. But I'm still going to keep this brief though because I weirdly don't have a ton to say? Even though I quite liked the movie. It's as promised even more epic than the first one -- Villenueve's sense of scale is basically unmatched right now, and there are shots here that will take your breath away. We're truly blessed that someone with his visual eye has had this amount of money tossed at him -- nobody has made world building feel quite so definitive. 

Because watching Dune 2 you really and truly feel as if an entire fucking world has been built right in front of you. An entire fucking universe. And it feels so much bigger and more consequential than anything Marvel has ever accomplished because there are actual ideas at work here -- ideas about religion and politics and not just "I gots bad Daddy issues, wahhh." Although yes there's some Daddy issues too, for good measure. 

Though its Mommy Issues are more exciting, given how Rebecca Ferguson basically walks away with the entire film. Everything Villenueve is saying about religion here is absolutely vicious (and, you know, spot on) and Ferguson (and to a less seen but no less vicious extent Charlotte Rampling) relishes the shit out of it -- like she did in Doctor Sleep she's so good at being so cold-hearted and weird and cruel! I bow down, really and truly. She is the queen we demand.

As for the much touted Austin Butler as Feyd-Rautha he certainly looks very cool but I wasn't terribly impressed by him. Ferguson, Rampling, Stellan Skarsgård, Christopher Walken, hell even Dave Bautista drip with more menace -- I just didn't buy him as intimidating no matter how hard the make-up was working. He felt like a dopey kid playing dress-up. The big duel between him and Timothée is terrifically staged and choreographed, though. 

Speaking of, Timothée is good -- like he did in The King he surprises me every time he can muster a genuine sense of command; that the waif-like frailty we all know and love doesn't snap under the pressure of screaming orders at enormous crowds. That said I found it hysterically funny how big his hair got in the last act as Paul gets more powerful -- I guess Damian in Mean Girls was right. But it's a real Sigourney in Ghostbusters Gatekeeper type glow-up, volume-wise. He got a blow out. Power blow!

Okay those were more words than I anticipated rambling off. Shout out to the score too -- an absolute banger that I keep refreshing every website to see if the vinyl has been dropped yet. And needless to say the costumes astonish -- some truly Excalibur level cornball nonsense going on, but dialed up to ten thousand -- I love it. Anyway the movie is good! Better than the last one, and I liked the last one. It's annoying that it is another unfinished story -- especially with Villenueve bitching about the movies becoming television in interviews; dude, you're just giving us super-sized episodes of a Dune show here when it comes down to it. But I will keep tuning in.

Charles Melton Twelve Times

This photoshoot of Mr. Melton is actually a couple of years old -- it was for ICON magazine back in 2020, well before Todd Haynes' May December came out and Charles Melton wasn't suddenly just one of the hot guys on Riverdale but actually a legitimately talented actor who also happened to be one of the hot guys on Riverdale. Still I was posting Charles Melton photographs back then...

... since I don't know if you have noticed but "hot guy on Riverdale" is usually enough for me. So I'm surprised I didn't post this then, is my point. But I did not, and that's probably for the best because I now have a bunch of outtakes to go along with whatever was officially in the magazine. So thank the photographer, who posted a couple of these on his Insta today, for the refresh! And hit the jumpfor all of the photos...

Five Frames From ?

What movie is this?

Good Morning, Crow

Squawking at us this morning via Vanity Fair -- where they have a few more images and interview stuff, check it -- is our first look at Bill Skarsgård as The Crow in the new movie version, out on June 7th. Bill is getting a lot of use out of those new carved-in-marble abs huh? (See also here.) We don't mind. Re-use em if ya got em, that's my motto. Anyway I've never been much of a Crow person -- indeed that came up just yesterday when I mentioned on Twitter that it was the 26th anniversary of the other big 90s gothy movie directed by Alex Proyas...

I am very much Dark City > The Crow

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) February 27, 2024

I don't know if you can take yourself back to the 90s -- hell I don't know if half of you were alive in the 90s (SIGH) -- but superhero movies were considered real fucking goofy. Even something (maybe even especially something) that was taking itself as seriously as The Crow. Now we have to pretend they're not (although, genuine thoughts and prayers, that might be changing back?) but superhero movies were Barb Wire and the original Super Mario Brothers. And yes -- those movies have very much attained cult status now. Mostly because people can't believe there was a time when superhero movies were allowed to be so fucking weird. 

I was the right age for those movies when they were coming out, in my early teens, and I did indeed go and see them, but I was never a person who was taking them seriously. Same with The Crow. It was Hot Topic filtered through Hollywood -- it wasn't nearly as edgy as it thought it was. But I will say that the one excellent thing about it was that soundtrack. I was huge in my Nine Inch Nails phase right then and that soundtrack still rules. But I feel like I'm rambling now. So back to Bill Skarsgård and his gothic abdominals. What do we think? What is our immediate thought?

online polls

Michael Fassbender Swings For George Clooney

I'm really annoyed by the lack of new photoshoots that accompanied the reemergence of Michael Fassbender last fall with David Fincher's The Killer and Taika Watita's Next Goal Wins -- I had to scrounge up an ancient picture to use here, and that's a crime against sexiness. Do some goddamned press, Michael! Anyway maybe next time around -- Variety is reporting he's in talks to lead George Clooney's new limited series called The Department, which is about spies and is a remake of a French series called The Bureau. (Anybody watched that?) 

Showtime gave the show an immediate greenlight, because they have apparently never watched anything George Clooney has directed before. He's famous though so he gets a greenlight, no matter how shitty he is at directing! That said the best thing he's done was his only other series, the 2019 series Catch-22, so maybe he should just direct TV. We'll see how this one goes before making a decision. And I can't possibly talk about George Clooney and Michael Fassbender without refering to that time he talked about Michael's dick on the Oscars, now can I?

Well let's hope George remembers, and puts it 

to good use on his little television series.

Five Frames From ?

What movie is this?

Steven Yeun Fourteen Times

I woke up in a bad mood this morning but I gotta say the universe has been kind to me so far -- on my commute I got a roomy seat on the train and then I got an elevator to myself in my building, and when I got here I had the office to myself for half an hour. And then i read that Criterion is having its Flash Sale today AND now Steven Yeun took his top off in a magazine? Today is okay! Officially okay! These photos are for AnOther magazine -- yes the same magazine that gave us Paul Mescal in short shorts last week; they win all the prizes -- and if you'd like them all (and I really recommend them) hit the jump...

Good Morning, Cosmo

Given it's been three years since I last reported on this I think you'll excuse me for forgetting it was a thing, but the adaptation of Shōgun starring Lady Macbeth hunk Cosmo Jarvis here that I told you about way back in spring of 2021 is apparently out now? It's an FX slash Hulu thing. Upu can watch the trailer at this link. It looks like first four episodes are out now. It also stars the legend Hiroyuki Sanada and the eyelash-legend Néstor Carbonell. Oh and Takehiro Hira from Takashi Miike's killer American Psycho riff Lesson of the Evil! Love that movie. Anyway I have not watched any of the show yet myself (if you have let me know how it is) but when I learned that my beloved Cosmo got good and naked in the first episode I obviously had to watch that much (as in "just that scene") and now I have gifs for you. Hit the jump...

Jake is Prime Beef

Oooh okay it's a "two Jake Gyllenhaal posts in a row" kinda day -- I can roll with that, even if it's a Monday. If we can redefine "a case of the Mondays" to mean "non-stop Jake day" then we'll have fixed the world. Anyway I am sure y'all recall that GQ Korea photo-shoot of Jake that I shared last week -- well they posted a video of the shoot over the weekend and unlike this morning when I skimped on making gifs for Aaron Taylor-Johnson, I did not skimp on the gifs this afternoon with Jake. 

It's a gif-o-rama! But gifs are not the entire reason we're here -- there is Jake News too! Well a rumor anyway, but a killer rumor we're hoping comes true. Deadline's reporting that the second season of Beef -- the show that starred Steven Yeun and Ali Wong and just spent all awards season racking up the awards -- is going to be about two warring couples, and those couples might be played by Charles Melton & Cailee Spaeny (so excellent in Priscilla) and... drumroll please... Jake Gyllenhaal and Anne Hathaway!

Brokeback reunion y'all! And that's before we even get to the "Jake Gyllenhaal warring with Charles Melton" sexiness apocalypse. Funny enough I was just thinking about Jake in relation to his Brokeback cast-mates a few days ago -- specifically I was thinking I wish he'd do something with Michelle Williams again.  I feel like I haven't seen the two of them in each other's company in a long time and was worried there's a rift (as much as I can or should worry about total strangers anyway). He is the godfather to Michelle & Heath's daughter Matilda though. Maybe they just keep their shit private, and more power to them if that's the case! I just miss my Jack Nasty s'all.

Anyway Jake & Anne have of course worked together since Brokeback -- perhaps I should have called this a "Love & Other Drugs reunion"! Now there's a forgotten movie. Which is a shame because Jake is fucking fire in that -- see some memorable photos of said fire here. It's an under-appreciated movie though, and Jake & Anne obviously have wonderful chemistry, and I adore this Beef rumor. Let's make it happen. And let's pretend that we can will it into being by hitting the jump and saying a prayer to the streaming gods right now over all of my beautiful Jake gifs...

Pics of the Day

Total Film has shared a few new snaps from Doug Liman's Road House re-do starring Jake Gyllenhaal and uhhh listen I know Conor McGregor is a terrible human being. But the lizard part of my brain (which takes up, you know, 95% of my brain) is finding itself extremely able to set aside those concerns while looking at that photo of him and Jake wrestling half-naked with each other. I will sort out my sins with my priest, which thankfully I don't have. Sins or a priest! I'm id run amok, baby! Anyway this is all very hot, this movie can't get here quick enough. 24 days, baby!

All of Us Winners

As I posted a few weeks back I was extremely happy with our film nominations for the Dorians, aka the awards that my critics group GALECA: The Society of LGBTQ Critics hand out every year -- we did good then and I am happy to report that we did good again with our winners. Much better than a lot of critics groups have! And I don't just say that because we handed three major prizes to my favorite movie of 2023, Andrew Haigh's All of Us Strangers... although I don't not say it because of that either. Strangers won both our "Film of the Year" award and our "LGBTQ Film of the Year" award, plus the award for "Best LGBTQ  Screenplay" to Haigh, as well it damn should. But I'm happy with the rest of our prizes -- I mean, Lily Gladstone and Charles Melton as our (lead and supporting) acting winners? 

Can you beat that? (In related news I'm extremely annoyed that this awards season doesn't seem to have offered the two of them a chance to take a photo together for me to use here -- I would like to see that. They would look gorgeous together. Somebody get a photo of them together for us please.) I'm not even annoyed that Greta Gerwig won for Best Director for Barbie, even though I'm not a fan of Barbie, because it's a nice fuck you to the Oscars and I will never pass one of those up. Anyway good on us this year! Hit the jump for the entire press release and winners list...

Drive-Away Pascals

I think it's kind of funny how hard they have played up Pedro Pascal's role in the advertising for Ethan Coen's movie Drive-Away Dolls, which came out this past Friday -- anybody going to watch this movie for Pedro is going to walk away disappointed (at least in that respect), as he's a one-scene (the opening scene) cameo. But then here I am using Pedro's image for my post about the movie so -- am I any better? Yeah no definitely not. I did pick a pair of goofy ass pictures though, as befits this goofy ass movie. Which I liked! It's not super memorable and it's not going to change the world, but it's a perfectly nice little 90 minutes of fun. And so so gay. Click over to Pajiba to read my review if you missed it over the weekend.