There isn't a whole lot that could make me want to see a kid's movie directed by John Krasinski and starring Ryan Reynolds -- a pornographic movie, sure? But a kid's movie? Nahhh. I am of the mind that Krasinski's Quiet Place movies are politically retrograde and shoddily crafted and Ryan, bless his continued hotness, has turned himself into a brand who only churns out terrible Netflix movies. But then they went and released a trailer for their kid's movie called If -- it's about a teen girl who can see everyone's imaginary friends -- and they put Ryan in suspenders...
... and against bookshelves no less, and this is a pure and undiluted act of violence against my will, y'all. I love a man in suspenders. I've admitted this fetish before but ever since that formative photograph of shirtless Benjamin Bratt's back in suspenders appeared in my life back in the day I have had very little willpower as far as suspenders are concerned and Ryan appears to spend...
... like half of this dumb movie in a shirt and suspenders. Violence, I say! Anyway I'm not posting the trailer but you can watch it right here -- there are really good people doing (what I assume is) voice-work in this movie too. People like Maya Rudolph and Sam Rockwell and Christopher Meloni and Phoebe Waller-Bridge and Fiona f'ing Shaw! So I won't hold it against anybody if they're excited about this. I'll just be over here with these gifs feeling very unclean, is all.
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