Tuesday, October 25, 2022

13 Toilets of Halloween #7

I've been pretty relentlessly ripping on David Gordon Green's Halloween trilogy for the past week (see this Twitter thread here or read my review of Halloween Ends right here) -- and with good reason! He really shit the bed with it! It's an incoherent jumble of half-thought-out ideas, and I am being extremely generous when I call them "half" thought out. But worst sin of all is I could cut several fingers off of my left hand and still be unable to count up as many scares as I had left fingers stretched across the entire damned run of films. DGG proved himself to be wildly inept at building tension, and I shudder to think what he's about to do to The Exorcist. (As long as Ellen Burstyn gets paid really really well I suppose we should be happy with that much.)

All that said as the world's tiniest olive branch I will say that this moment in Green's 2018 film where Michael Myers drops a handful of bloody teeth over the bathroom stall door? That shit is wildly effective. Maybe the only legitimately creepy moment in the entire trilogy? The scene with the motion-sensor light in the backyard in the first movie, the scene with Kyle Richards being hunted in the park in the second movie... honestly what else even is there? Certainly not a single goddamned second of Ends, that's for sure. What a waste of time and money and legacy these movies turned out to be. Also I was gonna ask where the hell Michael got those teeth from, but it was probably the dead gas station mechanic he stole his coveralls from, right?

Click here for the "Toilets of Halloween"... if you dare!

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