13 Toilets of Halloween #3

Perhaps I chose this year's Halloween list theme counting down the "13 Toilets of Halloween" because I am a disgusting person worthy of your scorn. Or perhaps I did it because I have the stunted maturity of a ten-year-old. Or perhaps I chose it because the year that has been 2022 has been rich with Toilet Cinema? (True fact: it is probably all of these things.) But there are at least two Toilet Epics that hit screens in the past year that I can think of off the top of my head, and it only seems right to take this opportunity to highlight them. 

First, the one you can actually watch right now! Right now streaming on Shudder there is Rebekah McKendry's goopy Lovecraftian goof Glorious, which stars True Blood hunk Ryan Kwanten as a down-on-his-luck daddy who finds himself trapped inside a rest-stop bathroom with some kind of a monster speaking to him through a glory hole. A monster voiced by J.K. Simmons, cuz sure why not?

Ryan spends at least half of the movie sitting on the toilet -- although none of it's spent doing his business, don't worry. Not that the movie doesn't take full advantage of nauseating its audience -- toilet humor is just the first little step towards its infinite cosmic jest. The trailer's right here. Looking back I guess I never got around to reviewing this one but it's a lot of fun, and it's great to spend time with Kwanten again -- dude should really be getting more work. 

The other 2022(ish) movie that slid into our theme is Carter Smith's gay horror flick Swallowed, which also has a vital portion set inside a road-side rest-stop bathroom (and later an outhouse) -- it is about two best friends (Cooper Koch and Jose Colon) who get forced into drug-muling by Jena Malone (!!!) and eventually Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2 star Mark Patton shows up as a sinister sissy (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and I loved it, oh I loved it so. 

Here is my review at Pajiba -- this hasn't been released properly yet, although it's been making the fest rounds; it just screened this week at the Brooklyn Horror Fest. I will obviously let y'all know where and when it gets its eventual release so everyone can experience all of its water-closet wonder. Bonus: funny enough as I was writing this piece I stumbled upon this piece at Paste Magazine about these same two movies and "Public Restroom Horror" so let's go read that together! And click here for all our "13 Toilets of Halloween" so far.