The sheer weight of that glance between Elio's parents, right after they've found out that Oliver's called to basically break their son's heart into a billion little pieces all over again, knocks the wind out of me every time I see Call Me By Your Name. As if I need the wind knocked out of me another time by that point in the film! I already can't breathe, dammit.
But the movie persists, and so should we. Watching the movie, over and over, I mean. I went my 18th time last night - yes even though it's been on blu-ray for two long weeks (say it like Annella) the film's still on the big screen here in New York, proving to me one more time that New York is the place to be.
Finding out I went an 18th time probably doesn't surprise you, but you wanna hear something actually surprising? I haven't watched the blu-ray one time yet. I did watch the (scant) extras on the disc, save the commentary. But as long as I can still see the film in the theater, I'm going to go see it in the theater when the mood strikes me. It's a privilege to have the option, one I'm not going to be ignoring as long as I'm able.
And honestly the second the opening credits come up a smile spreads across my face and I'm lost anew, every time. I try to keep a mental checklist of "Things I should write about that I haven't written about yet" (such things do actually still exist, believe it or not) but I get so captivated by the movie still that I've usually forgotten the specifics of those thoughts by the time it's over, since they are all, at this point, littler things. Things like...
.Spent some time diagramming Elio & Oliver's swap from left to right and vice versa across the run of CALL ME BY YOUR NAME last night - the shifting power dynamics rendered visually pic.twitter.com/KYuv6RokZi— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) March 30, 2018
... are one of its most striking - and pretty specifically homosexual, I should add! - aspects. For all of Luca's talk of the universality of this story it still speaks plainly, furiously at times, to what it means for one man to fall in love with another man, and how unsettling that can be. How it requires a letting-go inside of us of the behaviors we've been taught; a shift in our inner balance. Something like the swap from "I thought you should know"...
... in and through that confusion.
Nature, and her cunning ways.