If you've seen the first trailer for Rough Night, Scarlett Johansson's upcoming ensemble comedy with Kate McKinnon, Jillian Bell, Ilana Glazer and Zoë Kravitz, then you know the gist -- it's Very Bad Things plus Weekend At Bernie's multiplied by Bachelorette. A bunch of bad-acting humans being of the female kind accidentally murder a stripper and then lug his corpse around for both tomfoolery and shenanigans, perhaps not in that order. Well a new trailer dropped today and it's showing off more of the tomfoolery and the shenanigans (perhaps not in that order) but there's one quick blip that really caught my eye...
I don't think I am going blind but hey anything's possible, I do turn 40 in a couple of months and I have done a lot of drugs in my life. Anyway you tell me if I'm nuts or not -- the dude high-kickin' in that powder blue thong has his face blurred out right? That's not just a case of movement blurring things - his face is actually intentionally obscured? Here I zoomed in a little:
How strange! It's a mystery! I'm pretty sure that's not the stripper we see buy it, because that stripper's wearing jeans when he buys it, and (I've got my Sherlock cap on) he's got a pierced nipple...
(Sidenote: this whole ridiculous post was worth it just to make that gif of Jillian Bell leap-frogging on that man) Anyway Blurred Man and Stripper Man appear to have pretty different bodies, to my trained eye. So who is the Blurred Guy? And why is he blurred? Looking through the cast list my guess is that's...
... Colton Haynes (who we see in the trailer dressed as a cop) in the thong. There's no way Colton Haynes is playing a real cop. Colton Haynes is a Stripper Cop if ever there was a Stripper Cop. And that looks like Colton's body type to me. So are there multiple strippers? And why would they blur Colton Haynes' face??? Whatever the answer is at this point I clearly have spent too much time thinking about this - I'm treating this Thong Footage like it's the Zapruder film for fuck's sake; Colton Haynes' Bulge On The Grassy Knoll! So I have to stop. Here's the trailer. Y'all figure it out yourselves.
Rough Night is out on June 16th.