I suppose we need to wish Jamie Dornan a happy 35th birthday today, even though he's allowed the Fifty Shades movies to be turned into The School-Marm Express - the fact that we've made it through two entire films, an inscrutable phalanx of endlessly dull minutes, and this hint of shaft and this smattering of pubes is all of Dornan Junior that's come out to play? Unacceptable, sir. Unacceptable.
I'm talking about Fifty Shades but I'm sharing pictures from his stint on that Once Upon a Time show - he's not on that anymore right? He's too big in his britches for it now? Anyway let's take hope that the title of the next Fifty Shades movie, which is apparently Fifty Shades Freed, is referring to what's so big in those britches finally being freed, eh? Eh.