Tuesday, January 17, 2017

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

Lake Placid (1999)

Mrs. Bickerman: I'm rooting for the crocodile. I hope he swallows your friends whole. You might want to arrest me for that too. Is that a crime? To wish the chewing of law enforcement? 

I suppose they knew when they made Lake Placid that it will forever be remembered because it's the movie where Betty White feeds a cow to a giant crocodile, but it's still the movie where Betty White feeds a cow to a giant crocodile and so I don't feel ill will towards it for being so blatantly manipulative. Betty White feeding a cow to a giant crocodile exists! Hallelujah, the invention of movies worked! 

Anyway to say one wishes Betty White merely a "happy" 95th birthday is kind of like feeding a cow to a giant crocodile -- you unhinge your jaw as far as you can but the enormity of it just won't fit. Just keep on being Betty, you glorious Betty, and we'll be glad.
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