Wednesday, May 11, 2016

I Am Link

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--- Mind Tricks - Wow you know I'm sick and doped up and distracted when it takes me this long to mention the news that Tom Hardy is joining the Star Wars universe. Ahem. Let's do this thing - hey didja hear that Tom Hardy is joining the Star Wars universe? But don't get your Jedi Robes all wet with spooge just yet - it sounds like it's only a cameo, and an undercover one (a la Daniel Craig in The Force Awakens) at that. But gayer! Gayer is good!
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--- Beetle Breakfast - This is the sort of news that makes me want to set the internet on fire - Collider asked Tim Burton about Beetlejuice 2 and he said that we've blown that story way out of proportion; that he has talked to Michael Keaton and Winona Ryder about doing it but there's no actual movement on it right now. They don't even seem to have a story. Headlines last year made it seem like it was going to shoot any minute, but that's all hot air, says the man who would know. Given Burton's recent garbage-stuffed track record I'm clearly skeptical about this project, but I'd really love for Winona Ryder to have a great big role in something again, so that's what excites me the most about it.
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--- Monsters Maker - Director Brian Bertino has taken it distressingly slow since  popping out with The Strangers in 2008 - he's only released one movie in the eight years since, the admittedly pretty good found-footage flick Mockingbird (my review). But his new movie is close at hand - it's called There Are Monsters and it stars Zoe Kazan (whose sweet face and big eyes were just made for horror movies) as the mother half of a mother and daughter who are being terrorized in the woods by... something. Presumably, given the film's title, a monster. The Playlist has a picture and a poster for the movie. No word on an exact release date yet though.
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---  Queer For Cable - Our pal Manuel did a fantastic job looking back at the history of LGBT productions on HBO over the years for The Film Experience - I use the past tense because he just wrapped the series up today, click over to read his finale. On top of all the good reading you'll be gifted with an image of Matthew Bomer in a towel that you won't soon forget, I promise you.
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--- Dry Heat - If you missed our review of Luca Guadagnino's new film A Bigger Splash, read it here - we clearly fell in love with it, clearly.  And it seems as if Nat did too, given yesterday's Top Ten list over at The Film Experience - "The Ten Sexiest Things in A Bigger Splash." Seriously though, this movie's so sexy that if I was making the list myself I'd only place Matthias Schoenaerts in five of the ten spaces - there are actually other things that manage to be sexy in the presence of naked Matthias! That's a lot o' sexy.
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--- Vroom Vroom - More word on that movie Lucky Logan that's bringing Steven Soderbergh out of retirement (see previous news here) - it's being sold at Cannes right now, meaning it's real and Soderbergh's a phony, trying to pretend he's not un-retiring. It will star Channing Tatum (of course it will, as Steven's obviously obsessed with those sweet cheeks of his) and Michael Shannon and Riley Keough and it's about "brothers who attempt to pull off a heist during a major NASCAR race."
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--- Crazy Pants - Several new images from the Assassin's Creed movie starring Michael Fassbender and Marion Cotillard showed up the other day - click here to see them all. Lots of Fassy in hospital whites, which is a good look for him. He even makes "about to be capital punished" sexy, the bastard. Oh and for some fun head over to The Film Experience to caption one of the pictures. Also supposedly we're getting a trailer some time today.
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--- Red Tape - Just a reminder that you need to be clicking over to Final Girl every single day this week because Stacie's double-sized "VHS Week" fest is still going strong - she's taken on several great titles including an Argento giallo, an anthology film with Ingrid Pitt as a vampire, Zelda Rubenstein as a pervy momma maniac, and one very special armpit-sphincter/vagina-needlepenis to top it all off.
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--- And Finally it's the video we've all been waiting for ever since they first unveiled the first image of Bald James McAvoy way back when - below the X-Men team show off the real-world erotic shaving sequence of our collective fantasies.
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