Wednesday, January 06, 2016

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

In Bruges (2008)
Eirik: I was trying to rob him. And he took my gun from me. And the gun was full of blanks. And he shot a blank into my eye. And now I cannot see from this eye ever again, the doctors say. 
Harry: Well to be honest it sounds
like it's all your fault. 
Eirik: What? 
Harry: I mean basically if you're robbing a man and you're only carrying blanks and you allow your gun to be taken off you and you allow yourself to be shot in the eye with a blank which I assume that the person has to get quite close to you then, yeah really it's all your fault for being such a poof, so why don't you stop wingeing and cheer the fuck up. 
Yuri: Eirek - I really wouldn't respond. 
Eirik: I thought you wanted the guy dead? 
Harry: I do want the guy dead, I want him fucking crucified 
but it don't change the fact that he stitched you up 
like a blind little gay boy, does it? 

I don't want to hear a single peep about this scene's "homophobia" from a single one of you people -- this is some funny ass homophobia delivered with exquisite venom by Ralph Fiennes right here. But we're not here for Ralph (sidenote: we're always here for Ralph) we are here for the "blind little gay boy" played by the terrific Belgian actor Jérémie Renier, who's turning 35 today.

Maybe you know him from many an Ozon movie (Potiche or Criminal Lovers way back) or maybe you know him from many a Dardennes movie (The Kid With a Bike or L'enfant) or maybe you know him from that scene in last year's spectacular film Saint Laurent where he and Gaspard Ulliel rolled around naked together...

(And by focusing in on his generous full frontal, seen below in full, I don't mean to belittle the rest of his performance -- the scene where he and Brady Corbet hammer out financial details in overlapping languages is one of the most electric in the entire electric film.) Anyway where ever you know him from you know him, and he is terrific. Insanely it seems that I've only posted on Jérémie once previously, so join me after the jump for a gratuitous catching-up...


Anonymous said...

LOVE "In Bruges." I have probably said "stop whinging like a big gay BABY" at least once a week ever since I saw it.

luke said...

Summer Hours is an Olivier Assayas film and not a Francois Ozon film.

Jason Adams said...

GAH of course sorry I was typing too many names frenetically -- will fix. Thanks Luke!


you are a gift to the internet. no hot male actor from anywhere in the world will go unobjectified.

Love Renier. Even moreso now that his american name counterpart (Jeremy Renner) has turned into such a dick.

Peggy Sue said...

I say Oui

Bill Carter said...

"In Bruges" is brilliant! With the fantasy of the dwarf race war and Colin Farrell's repeated pleas to "get out of this shithole"--when he's in one of the most beautiful cities in the world--it had a script that just sparkled.

luke said...

What's the official word on Gaspard's penis in Saint Laurent? I noticed online that some people think he was wearing a prosthetic. I don't think I've ever seen him do full frontal before so couldn't compare. It looked pretty real to me. If it was real, I'm surprised he doesn't show it off more.

Oh yeah and In Bruges is probably my favorite movie. Or at the very least in my top ten. In the special features on the DVD I have, there's a bit that has a compilation of all the cursing in the movie and it's hilarious.