Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

Rust and Bone (2012)

Alain: Is that you in the photos with the orcas?

Stéphanie: Yes.

Alain: Is it your job?

Stéphanie: Yes.

Alain: I'd never have imagined!

Stéphanie: Why? Can't a whore train orcas?

Yes Virginia, a whore can train Orcas -- it just took me a movie starring gorgeous sexy disfigured people to find that out. What would we do without movies? Anyway it is the 38th birthday of prime Belgian beefcake Matthias Schoenaerts today and instead of just focusing on the beefcake thing, which we've done plenty, I figured I'd focus in on his actual job, acting, since he's really very very good at that, beefcake aside. In the past four years since Bullhead came out we've seen 70% of his output (the only major role we haven't seen in Blood Ties) and he's only really seemed out of his element twice -- that wig was too much for him, as it would be for anybody, in A Little Chaos, and The Danish Girl didn't have anything for him to do since it was too busy fluttering scarves around in airy rooms. Meanwhile Matthias has been super excellent in several things - Rust and Bone and The Drop and Far From the Madding Crowd and that time he posed for a picture with me. (That last one might be his finest role of all.) Honestly we don't know where we were without him. Bravo, Matty! What's your fave performance of his?