Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

The Jewel of the Nile (1985)

Jewel: What are you doing? 

Joan Wilder: In my last novel Angelina & the Savage Secret

Angelina used a nail file to chip away at the bars of her cell 

to remove them and escape to freedom. 

Jewel: How long did this take? 

Joan Wilder: Two pages. 

Tomorrow is the 30th anniversary of this movie, the semi-dismal cash-grab sequel to the utterly charming Romancing the Stone. Even as a kid I knew this movie was just a cash-grab but I still watched it a million times because that is what we did as children in the 1980s before stuff like the internet and Netflix. We watched the same garbage over and over a million times until we had the garbage memorized. I weep for the children of today with all their choices.

.