I Am Link

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--- Police Woman - In Bruges and Seven Psychopaths writer-director (slash silver fox) Martin McDonagh is teaming up with my maybe-favorite actress (depending on my mood) Frances McDormand for his next project! Whiz bang, my brains are bursting! The movie will be called Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri (gorgeous title, don't change it) and it will be about "a woman whose daughter is murdered and she goes to war with the police in her home town, because she thinks they are more interested in torturing black people than getting justice." Holy shit, that's a log-line and a half. They're supposed to film early next year.
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--- Witching and Bitching - Hooray a new review over at Final Girl! I don't know how Stacie Ponder even digs up these delightfully bizarre cinematic abominations, but the world's a richer place when we find out about devil-worshippers tormenting David Hassellhoff from her, and this time ain't any different. Come for the Linda Blair (yes Linda Blair) hairdos, stay for the "demonic voices coming out of a Sesame Street cassette player."

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--- Fur Demolisher - I love the fact that there are people out there who actually get to talk to the people making movies that are willing to ask the right questions - at Vulture Kyle Buchanan bucked up and asked Jean-Marc Vallee why the hell Jake Gyllenhaal's shaving his chest, his glorious chest, in Demolition. (Thanks Joe.) The sad thing is I have gotten so used to Jake fucking with his gift, his glorious gift, that I don't even really notice it anymore. I have been poisoned, mentally!
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---  New Cabin Smell - Drew Goddard says there might be a Cabin in the Woods sequel... or there might not.

"If I had to put odds, the tricky part with Joss and I, especially, is it all depends on how we wake up in the morning. If we wake up... I can easily see us over drinks tomorrow going like, 'Hey, what if we did this?' But I can also see us being like, 'The movie is pretty good. We don't need to revisit it.'"

Well that clears that up. Thing is I never even thought about there being one, and now they have gone and made me think of one, and now I have one more thing to be annoyed about not getting.
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--- Warmest Matthias - We've known since last December that Hot Belgian Beefcake Matthias Schoenaerts was going to star in The Faithful, the next movie from his Bullhead director Michael R. Roskam -- now comes word that his co-star will be spaghetti-loving French actress Adele Exarchopoulos, of Blue is the Warmest Color fame. These are two actors that I think could generate some sparks! They describe it as "a noirish romance thriller set against the backdrop of crime gangs in Brussels;" it will shoot sometime next year.

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--- Sex Game - The oft-nude Khaleesi Emelia Clarke has opened up to The Daily Mail about her distaste for "gratuitous" sex scenes, saying she likes it better when some curtains blow and a train goes through a tunnel and she's not slapped in the face with flopping cocks or whatever. I don't like her disparaging my favorite word "gratuitous" like this, first off. And listen, I get that it's probably super uncomfortable as an actor, filming this stuff, and I also get that regular ol' movies and TV shows don't need full on-screen penetration, either. But these conversations are always so ninny-ish. It's just sex, dude - sometimes MORE really is better! And she can talk a big game now that she's already had Jason Momoa's great big ass on top of her - she's already hit the high point. Don't ruin it for the rest of us, Khaleesi.
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--- Getting Hardy - It's a shame that this exchange between a journalist and Tom Hardy on "the gay stuff" got so bungled in Toronto after a screening of Legend (which involves some gay stuff!) because I would've loved to hear Tom address the disparity between some of his public statements over the years and these characters. Actually I really don't care about the "characters" part -- I just wanna know if there's a chance I could have sex with Tom someday. Can somebody ask that question? Thanks.
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--- Play Queen - But back to A Game of Thrones -- in less get-on-my-nerves news than Khaleesi's whinging (much much less) Essie Davis star of The Babadook has just joined the next season of the show! Ahhh!!! Even better, she's playing an actress in a Braavosi (just go with it) troupe of actors that will be putting on a show inside the TV show reenacting lots of events we've seen, and she'll play the play's version of Cersei Lannister (Lena Headey). I hope you could follow all that? Anyway Essie is a big yessie! (Sorry.)

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--- And Finally this is from last week but I kept forgetting to post it -- even though every day should be celebrated as Udo Kier Day there was actually an official little celebration of him at the "Karlovy Vary International Film Festival in the mountains of the Czech Republic" recently (I can't imagine a better place for such a thing, either) and this dude got to tag along with Udo for the night (thanks Mac) and it's every ounce the Night To Remember you'd think a night hanging out with Udo would be.