... that's you there sandwiched between Bradley Cooper and Michael Fassbender. (See the original picture here.) Besides going home and throwing out that ugly jacket, what the hell would you do in this situation? I realize I'm inviting the pornographic here - "Drop to my knees and give them twenty!" rings loudly in my own head - but I mean this seriously. You've got an arm from Bradley Cooper and an arm from Michael Fassbender wrapped around your body. How do you even stay alive before, during, and after this? Is there an EMT unit standing by right outside of frame with a thousand defibrillators linked end to end to end? Is there a phalanx of psychiatrists with prescriptions and a suicide watch hotline team waiting their turn since once this happens you know it's all downhill and pointless from there on out? I just don't know. It boggles my everything.
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