I Am Link

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--- Oui Oui Monsieur - Jean Dujardin is heading back to his homeland to make another movie with his buttfucking buddy Gilles Lellouche - it's called La France and it's about a cop who fought a big drug ring in the 80s. Lellouche will play the big bad kingpin he's up against. And then they buttfuck?

--- Dead Love - I'm not watching these because I want to go into the movie as fresh as a daisy (or you know as fresh as I can manage, being me) but here's two clips from Jim Jamusch's vampire movie with Tilda Swinton and Tom Hiddleston called Only Lovers Left Alive, if you have no such reservations.

--- Wright Wrong - This news seemed like a strange fit when I reported it last week so this doesn't surprise me - director Joe Wright of Hanna and Anna Karenina and so forth says he has no interest in making a 50 Shades of Gray movie, even though the producers were courting him.

--- Matty Alive - I guess I'm just going to have to learn to like Noomi Rapace because she keeps deciding to make movies with the menfolk that I cannot get enough of - she's worked with Fassy and Colin Farrell already, and now after having just finished making Animal Rescue with Tom Hardy and Matthias Schoenaerts she's signed up to work with the latter again on Alive Alone about a woman on the run from a crime boss who gets tangled up with an ex-Guantanamo detainee. Matthias Schoenaerts is not really what I picture when I picture a Guantanamo detainee, but whatever, I won't complain about chances to see him do anything.

--- Critter Balls - I have no comment on this at this point - a Gremlins reboot is still in the works. No comment, except possibly all the indigestion that holding in my comments will result in.

--- White Man - Hmm what do we think of this brand new older beefier Orlando Bloom? That shot's from a movie called Zulu starring Bloom and Forest Whitaker as two Capetown cops searching into the murder of a teen girl, yadda yadda apartheid. The Playlist has a couple more pics and clips. It's closing Cannes this year.

--- Starring Ryan - His remake of Logan's Run is definitely on hold right now, says Nicolas Winding Refn, but he and Ryan Gosling for sure will keep working together - they want to make a comedy. I have an idea! Ryan's clothes just keep falling right off of him. Hysterical, right? Speaking of, there's a big batch of new pics from Only God Forgives right here.

--- Super Jock - This has promising written all over it so let's hope they don't fuck us over here with all it could be - Tom Welling has just joined a football movie! It's about Kevin Costner playing the general manager of the Cleveland Browns yadda yadda Superboy in a jockstrap, go.

--- Head on a Stick - Hey looks it's the first poster for the Wolf Creek sequel! Now it's only a sales poster for Cannes where they'll be looking for a buyer, so I'll forgive the shoddy blatant theft of design from the Evil Dead remake's poster, for now. Anyway it's exciting to see John Jarrett all done up all the same.

--- The Toxic Austrian - This is just bizarre news - Arnold Schwarzenegger is in talks to star in a remake of The Toxic Avenger. The world we live in is one where a Troma icon can now be portrayed by an ex US Governor. What a world, what a world.

--- And finally, if Nicholas Hoult and Hugh Jackman (mostly Hoult, actually) are sporting such serious packages in their 70s clothes in the new X-Men movie as they are in this shot tweeted by Bryan Singer from the set then can you even imagine what it's gonna look like once Michael Fassbender slithers into his costume? I mean the 60s clothes were already too much for all of him. The mind reels.