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It is Michael Fassbender's 36th birthday today, so naturally we would like to wish our most favorite well-proportioned German-Irish actor a lovely day. I didn't intend the Trousers last week to be so criminally absent of him - I don't think his wonderful performance as David the android in Prometheus even came up a single time. He was on my list of favorite performances but there were so many I wanted to talk about... yadda yadda. I failed. But now we will talk about him. Namely, if you had to choose between these three android models in the Alien universe (the characters, not the actors!) which'd you do dump and which would you marry?
Ash (Ian Holm, right) from the original Alien - Head Science Officer on the Nostromo. Prone to marvelling at face-huggers and shoving porno mags down unwilling throats.
Bishop (Lance Henriksen, left), from Aliens - Executive Officer aboard the Sulaco. Ace flying skills. Missing lower half.
And David (Fassbender) in Prometheus - Loves Peter O'Toole, perhaps a little bit too much. Loves studying the dreams of female scientists in hyper-sleep, perhaps a little bit too much. Kills boyfriends with poison, plays basketball.
Now make your picks!
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5 comments:
Marry David - Yes he's boyfriend killer that was behind the alien spawn that had to be aborted, but he's still a perfectly handsome boyfriend killing, alien spawn impregnating, android.
Do Ash - at least he has porno.
Dump Bishop - Because no.
Hmmm, Dump Ash, not into magazine sex.
Marry Bishop, he seems to be a reliable chap.
And DO DO DO DO DO DO David, don´t care what he impregnates me with it´ll be SO worth it!
Do, marry and then dump (before he tries to kill me with a magazine): Ash.
Ash has been my favourite cyborg from all Alien (or Alien related) movies. I know Ian Holm didn't right these lines but the way he delivered them was unforgettable:
"I admire its purity: A survivor, unclouded by conscience, remorse, or delusions of
morality."
And my personal favourite:
"I can't lie about your chances, but you have my sympathies"
Do David. Seriously I wish someone would make some nice fanart of Meredith Vickers unboxing her new David 8 and then taking it to town. God, what I wouldn't give to see a world where servant robots look like Michael Fassbender.
Dump Ash
Do Bishop
Marry David8 (and then I'd change the colour of the hair and the haircut)
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