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(click to embiggen; pics via) Well looky loo at that shit - Esquire went and got six of our favorite hot-asses into one room and squeezed them into some snug yet stylish duds. There's not enough touching, but it'll do. I thought I might just pick three of the six for us to Do Dump or Marry but when presented with such riches, going half-assed into the hot-assed would spoil fifty percent of the fun.
So let's do this double time - which two of these fellow would you do at once, which two of these fellows would you send packing, and which two would you bust out the matrimonial bigamy with (now that we're getting gay marriage, we're gonna want gay bigamy next, after all). So here's our six:
So let's do this double time - which two of these fellow would you do at once, which two of these fellows would you send packing, and which two would you bust out the matrimonial bigamy with (now that we're getting gay marriage, we're gonna want gay bigamy next, after all). So here's our six:
Aaron Johnson, Armie Hammer, and Garrett Hedlund...
... and Taylor Kitsch, Idris Elba, and Aaron Paul. Go!
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15 comments:
I would marry Idris and Aaron Paul...do Aaron Johnson and Garrett Hedlund...and dump Armie Hammer and Taylor Kitsch. Sorry, Riggins. You just seem to have zero personality.
Easy
Marry:
--Hammer and Paul
Hammer: he's rich, he's VERY good-looking, and he's TALL, did I mention tall?
Paul: watching Breaking Bad and Big Love made me realize he's such a good actor. Yes, he's the opposite of Hammer, but he's HOT, and has just the right amount of hair:)
Dump: Hedlund and Kitsch
Sorry, bad actors turn me off
Do: Johnson and Elba
You got your milk and dark chocolate right there:)
I would trim and shave Johnson first, I hate his bum look. Change NOTHING on Elba...
All that hot-assedness, my brain just 'sploded all over my puter! But with my left over brain goo I'll try to cobble together an answer.
Dump: Hammer and Elba. Hammer's just so smarmy and Elba's too gruff for me.
Do: I think I want to be the middle of a Kitsch, Johnson sandwich thankyouverymuch.
Which means I'd happily take Aaron Paul and Hedlund as my brother husbands (Bad Raising Hope Reference) But maybe I'd substitute in Kitsch for Hedlund? Gah! I don't know! You've overtaxed my brain goo!
At first, I thought we had to make our respective choices from each cluster of three. Now, this is easy. Because I can...
DUMP Kitsch and Johnson. Kitsch doesn't do it for me and I don't understand the appeal re: Johnson (his strange Michael Sheen in Othello hair is certainly not helping his case, where I'm concerned). Off the island they go.
DO Hedlund and Hammer.
Hedlund's got that smolder about him and that croony voice in Country Strong does things to me (not enough to marry him). Hammer mostly gets done out of default. He's more appealing than Johnson and Kitsch, certainly, but I don't necessarily want to *do* him.
MARRY Idris Elba and Aaron Paul because...f'real. They're like Romy and Michele in my Netflix queue...I'm never *not* in the mood.
Marry Kitsch and Hammer. Kitsch coz he is so damn hot -have you seen the savages yet?- and Hammer coz he is the perfect guy to meet your parents and looks like a guy you can spend a life itme together. Fuck at the same time Kohnson and Idris coz I melt even by thinking about it and send away Hedlund and that stupid kid I don't even know his name
Sal
Do: Taylor Kitsch and Aaron Johnson - thus fulfilling my "Savages" fantasies.
Dump: Hedlund and Aaron Paul - One's too short and the other is...Garret Hedlund. zzzzzzz
Marry: Idris Elba and Armie Hammer - Sigh, this would be bliss!
Do: Kitsch/Hedlund
Dump: Paul/Johnson
Marry: Hammer/Elba
Sorry but this is just WAY TOO DIFFICULT. I mean, come on - OMG! I'm truly impressed with Sandison, Lars (I love the name Lars), Bloody Munchkin (oh the images that name gives me!), Pretentious Know It All (although I hate being impressed by him because he's probably so used to it by now!), Sal (who maybe wanted to be Anonymous) and the "real" Anonymous. I just can't take the time or energy to make all those intricate decisions - besides, I'm gonna DO em all - all in the same room, one right after the other!
I just want to marry Aaron Paul. I'll leave the rest of them for everyone else.
Marry the terribly rich and handsome Armie Hammer, and also Taylor Kitsch so that he can be our pretty plaything.
Do Aaron Johnson, because he's a little too weird to marry, but I want something of that Kick-Ass...ass. Also, Idris Elba, because-so sexy.
Leaving Garrett Hedlund (who feels like one of the Hemsworth brothers, but without as much sex appeal) and Aaron Paul-sorry, I've never caught up on Breaking Bad.
I would have a threesome DO with Garrett Hedlund and Aaron Johnson.
I will DUMP Taylor Kitsch and Aaron Paul in a NEW YORK MINUTE.
I will enter a bigamist MARRY with Idris Elba and Armie Hammer. Mmm. I'll be down with that swirl!
Do: Kitsch and Aaron Johnson, thereby fulfilling all of my "Savages" fantasies.
Dump: Hedlund and Aaron Paul because one's too short and the other is...Garett Hedlund.
Marty: Idris Elba and Armie Hammer
Bliss I tell you! BLISS!
All I know is I'd dump Aaron Johnson. No not dump, take a dump on him. HATE HATE HATE him.
DO - Armie Hammer & Garrett Hedlund
DUMP - Aaron Johnson & Idris Elba
MARRY - Taylor Kitsch & Aaron Paul
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